Me

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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

3.31.2005

Okay Right.

I am up this early like 3 times a week, I'll be going to sleep after this. It is damn near 8 a.m. New York time. I have a few questions. (muthafuckas)

1. Why is that I am think about not being single anymore?
2. Is it okay for me to date a celebrity. I don't know how I feel that he asked me out.
3. Why is it that when you compliment people, they act all paranoid, like you really something from them? Bitch don't flatter yourself.
4. Why can't people take risks and be like me?
5. Wait do I really want people to be like me?
6. Am I the only one who thinks that relationships are overrated?
7. Are all black men burnt the fuck out?
8. I love black men regardless if they are burnt the fuck out. (that wasn't a question, but I'd thought I'd answer it though)
9. Why am I attracted to crazy men?
10. I wonder if M.C. is insane too? I'll see on Saturday.
11. Am I really ready for my event in 14 hours.
12. Why does it seem like there are more bottoms than tops?
13. I saw this fine ass dude in a Bronco II that I wanted to fuck on the spot, am I a hoe for thinking that and saying it out loud?
14. Why am I mad a sprint? My bill is paid in full, but them bitches still found a way to have my service fucked up at 1:30 this morning while I was out jogging. Do you know a white man could have swam ashore out of his submarine and sliced me like bacon?
15. Are yall feelin' my new haircut?
16. Am I too critical?
17. I am a cool muthafucka huh?
18. Did you know that I walk 4 miles a day now? I am going to be lookin crackish real quick.
19. Did i tell you that I don't want to be 5-10 165? I LOVE being 5-10 220.
20. Can someone please email Janet Jackson and tell her that if she does not do 'Because of Love' and 'You Want This' on her new tour I am going to call her and curse her out?
21. Can you do me a favor and call Faith Evans and tell her to stop getting high before she takes pictures?
22. Why is Wendy Williams the realest bitch on earth?
23. Do you know that I strive for individuality?

3.30.2005

24

24 hours until my book discussion with LifeWorks mentoring. It's a group composed of gay youth ages 15-22. I think I am more excited about this event versus any other that I've done thus far because it's apart of my target group.

More importantly I think it's important for our gay youth to see a figure that is successful in their own right, so they too can know that they can make it, when the world doesn't accept you for who you are. So I am excited.

I'm working on some top secret events and projects too...lol.

I'm putting together my second leg of my book tour which is going to start in August. Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, and NYC. Yes I've pushed my NYC date back after careful consideration. Too much shit went on at the last minute with you know what, and I wasn't trying to pull 1000.00 out of my hat at the last minute, unnecessarily. All things happen for a reason, so no shade on this side of the tree. It was a lazy day today. A phone interview, getting ready for my updates for WritingStar, reading Brutha-Free's Blog, and writing a new piece.

I know what I am going to wear tomorrow. I know what I am going to say. It's chill. I am off to my production facility, where I do all of my work, my updates for my websites, and put together my promotional stuff with my assistant Ashli. I'm off to work hard, so I can build a future for me and my sister. I want to have my shit together so when I meet that man, he'll be ready to take a chance on me.

Sometimes it's just better to take things slowly, and accept them for what they are. God doesn't allow you to do things when you aren't ready for them.

I need to have sex too.

Shout outs to: Aunt Jacky, Tara, Drea, Vince, Fred, BruthaFree, Blogger#031905 , and my readers worldwide.

My Artists Alike

Today is a great day. I am so very, extremely happy that I have come in contact with so many, in my opinion prolific writers, storytellers, and personalities. We collectively, are on the definitive path to be the next James Baldwin's, the next Spike Lee's, etc. I am so overwhelmed at the level of talent that it is out there. I shouldn't be surprised, because we're black, and all we see on T.V. is athletes, and rappers. But we are a great group, a dynamic, strong group of leaders, I know and believe that.

Today I stumbled among a gem. He goes by the name of "Brutha-Free" and I suggest you read his blog, thoroughly, in it's entirety. This man is truly a talented brutha! So many great things come out of ATL, that's why I am so amped on moving there to be around people like this.

I can appreciate anyone who is as raw, uncut, candid, real, eloquent, entertaining, and talented as I am. So I suggest that you do not sleep on his entries any day! He's hot. And hopefully I can get a change to work with him soon. The realness he serves is priceless!!!

Fred Smith is another writer who is another talent in the community. Be sure to checkout his site! There is a link to his blog there as well. I met him at my book signing at Matais earlier this month. He is a warm spirit, and he's in L.A. with me. And I must say it is very rare to find a humble, supportive, real person on the west coast. Pick up his book in July!

SmilingOnThaDL is another blogger that is real. He talks about daily life in his blog-he's really entertaining, and it keeps me interested. My attention span is so freakin short-I'm surprised I pay attention. But it's other peoples experiences that keep me interested. Real life is so much better than fiction.

Rashid Darden out of D.C. is a writer and his soon to be published book Lazarus is apart of the growing renaissance of Black, Gay, writers. Make sure you check out his sight and support all the artists!!!! We are the next generation to change the way they think about us...

I am proud of my black men making changes around them! It is really great to see us, defying the stereotype, succeeding, being a collective unit in our communities, and giving birth to art and expression.

Simply Beautiful.

3.29.2005

Contemplation, Aggravation, Frustration



I've got some serious decisions to make, but before you help me, lets debrief, shall we? How was your weekend? Mine was okay? Nothing really major to speak about except for the fact that I am excited that me and my cousin who is on lock down, got a chance to speak for 2 hours. I am extremely proud of him and I am glad that I had a change to tell him that I loved him, and supported him, and I was there for him. There truly is power in words.

I dropped out of school today. Too much on my mind, my plate, too much period. And besides there weren't any cute boys in class to motivate me to stay...So I'll try again in Summer.

The dilemma of the month is: Friday, April 15, 2005, 6:00 P.M., New York, Hue-Man Bookstore.

I was confirmed in February. Since I run my own shit, that means my funds are limited. Anyway, I called in a favor to someone who I thought I could count on who could help me out. I had a friend from L.A. that moved to New York about 2 years ago. I called him up at the beginning of March and told him that I setup a date in New York and would it be okay if I could stay with him while in town doing my book stuff. Of course he said okay, but now that the date is two weeks away, why is he avoidin' me like Ellen avoids penis? So fuck that fake ass bitch. All it takes is a "no." So as it stands I'm canceling my New York date. I think it's the right and only option right now, seeing that I don't have 300$ a night for a hotel room, damn I don't have any money for a hotel room. Fuck this shit, I am not about to get stressed out and go on an eating binge over that nigga. So yall got some hookups? What should I do?

Fuck a hater. I am not canceling my date. I am going to show up and show the fuck out! Show these bitches what realness is made of.

Hmmmm other than, the minor setback in my agenda, I'm good. I've got my health. I've got other great people around me. But on the same terms FUCK FAKE BITCHES. FUCK PEOPLE PERIOD. STUPID ASS H8TN BITCHES! LOL.It's so funny, how people pretend to be cool, be down for you and then they just act shady for no reason. Just be real...I can't give it anymore energy, I'm Trent Jackson. "Sell me some juice bitch I'm thirsty."

"I know Shuggie Otis." Isn't that a dope song. Okay this makes no sense. I'm done really. These *iggas are fuckin' ridiculous. I'm so tired of being the one with all the answers, the one with the "common sense," the one with the best ideas. But I've accepted that. That is a gift. I have to shift my focus, immediately. Tonight I will work on my third book, Terminal 31.

Shot Outs: Tha Big Homie on lock down, Zena, Tara, Aunt Jacky, Vince, Aerin, Teresa. And the beautiful products of my cousin Tuesday.

3.26.2005

The N.A.A.C.P. Image awards

Even though the N.A.A.C.P. did their thing back in the day to ensure civil rights and freedom for you and I, how hard are they working for us today?

The N.A.A.C.P. image awards lives up to it's name. In my opinion, even if this is the only thing they are collectively doing right now, so be it. The N.A.A.C.P. is sending a statement worldwide, a positive BLACK image that is one of strength, courage, talent, eloquence, passion, creativity and intelligence. An image that is distinguished, powerful, and an image moves mountains and overcomes all odds.

I AM SO PROUD TO BE BLACK MORE SO THAN EVER TONIGHT! I am glad that I come from a group of people who can send a message loud, clear, and distinct, such as this-and reiterate to everyone that we are not what mainstream media wants them to think. We come from a impressive line of legacy that dates back to evolution, to King Tut, to our ancestors who made their transition to the unknown world as slaves, to the abolitionists, and leaders like Tubman, and W.E.B. DuBois who relinquished the chains of mental struggle and strife. The likes of Marcus Garvey, Madame C.J. Walker, to Dr. King, Malcolm X, Shirley Chisholm, to the current Barack Obama, Dr. Cornell West, Oprah.

We are a group of beautiful people. We need to recognize that and uphold ourselves to the IMAGE that the people who walked the rock before us did. I am proud to be me.

The awards represented more than legacy. It was a way for us to honor each other and the work that we do and don't get credit for. There is nothing better than validation and acceptance from your own people.

Oprah is truly PHENOMENAL.
Regina king is real as fuck! And that's why I love her.
Prince is a KING! That set was simply breathtaking.

This award show surpasses any other. And I am so glad that the awards so was full of grace and it showcased us at our best-and reminded me that I must press on and continue to make a path not only for myself, but for the people who will follow in my footsteps.

I will uphold the positive Black Image.

3.25.2005

My Discussion with the Black People.

To be a Black, gay, man in America.
To be a Black, gay, man in America.
To be.
A
Black
Gay
Man
In
America.

The complexity of that sentence. That very sentence allowed me to complete my first book 'At This Moment.' In which I discuss some of the complexities of being Black and Gay in America.

Nevertheless, I had the distinct honor to sit on a panel last evening with the Reverend Russell Thornhill, of Unity Fellowship Church, and Ms. Amber Sharp a brilliant Filmmaker/Speaker, who is currently promoting her film, Triple Minority, about a black lesbian, who wants to reconcile her relationship with her parents.

The event hosted by, the University of Southern California, and the N.A.A.C.P. was a chance for African-American's to discuss, homophobia, gay marriage, and religion.

The forum went great. Everyone had great input, and voiced their opinions, and to say the least I felt that African-American's as a whole are progressing in dealing with this issue.

Speaking from my black experience, we are some of the most loving and accepting people around, but with that also comes the challenge of accepting things that aren't the norm, or what the BIBLE, deems to be immoral.

There wasn't any bickering or fights or high tension power line drama. The event went well, and opened the minds of some, and provided a stable medium for discussing issues that affect us all.

I only wish more heterosexual men would have been present to voice more of their homophobia. But all in due time. You have to crawl before you walk, right?

I sold a few books, made some new contacts, and enjoyed being myself in my natural element. It was positive and a few minds were changed...

Until later on today.

All the best, and don't be afraid to be who you are.

My Shot Outs of the day: Aerin Washington, Amber Sharp, Rev. Russ, Donna & Fransisca, Theo, Vince Smith, and SmilingOnThaDL

I smiled Today.

I still hadn't found anything to wear.

It was 45 minutes to call time and I had just woke up. What kind of shit is that? I woke up this morning four hours after my last post, to go see my cousin who is incarcerated on a probation violation. I haven't seen him since we were teenagers so the thought of seeing him some 7 years later, in our early 20's was going to be a shock for him and an attempt for the both of us to make the best of our lives now, since the adults that were suppose to ensure that we grew up together failed us at all costs. I am deeply saddened that our parents and our family as a unit divided-because it was unfair on us, the children.

I went down to the county jail the day before his transfer to the big house. I went with his father, whom I recently started talking to again, and our uncle who is the most irritating if not the most dumbest man in the universe.

It was really cute because they don't know that I am gay. They just think I am pink because I was raised by my mother. So I had to be a total boy today, no "queen lingo." I had to butch it all up, because whats funny is my cousin, behind the glass caught my tea, which is funny...I'll tell you about it later....

The dynamic was interesting. Because in my whole 23 years I can't remember a time where I was with two of my eldest uncles alone. It had always been one or the other. My uncles, all of them are light, day, and galaxies apart from each other. My cousins dad, we'll just call him 50. Cause he's 50 and his vision and hearing is going. So I kept having to read and tell him everything. My other uncle is Farrakhan's first cousin. He's on this whole conspiracy theory tip. He has some valid points but shut the fuck up already, damn!

The green paint on the walls, and the menagerie of people from any ghetto U.S.A. were the backdrop for L.A.'s misty weather this morning as we formed two single lines down the cracked, paved, dirty, pathway that led us to the reception room where we would wait until my cousins named was called.

When it was called, my heart skipped a beat when I heard his name because I had not seen or even spoke with him, prior to us graduating high school. I was anxious, to hear what he sounded like, did he still look like the kid that I use to play with and do everything with, how had life and his circumstances changed who he was now, in this situation.

He was still the same.

In his eyes he was excited to see me. As I was to see him. We didn't have time to catch up like I wanted to because, it wasn't the time or place, his dad needed to speak with him, since he hadn't spoke with him in about 10 months, and Farrakhan's first cousin was lecturing his nephew as he was his son, when he needed to worry about why his kids didn't like him. I tell you niggas and their priorities.

Cutting out the drama and the riff raff, this is the beginning of my new life. I am glad that my family is once again becoming the unit that I once knew, but missing crucial elements. Like my Grandmother, the matriarch of it all. My cousin Tuesday who I lost in January, should have been here to witness the three of us together going to show our love and support as family should. She would have loved to have physically seen and heard about it. It would have given her some temporary peace to her private torment.

Nevertheless, I am glad that my uncle and his incarcerated son are on the path to reconnection. I am glad that they both have realized it is never to late to get close and patch things up with your family.

I am glad to know that my cousin now knows that we are there for him, even though all of our actions have told him different, even it's not directly our fault.

He and I are both products of vicious chains that are starting to break.

Sometimes it takes a long while, a lifetime, to recognize the part that we play in others bondage. We may or may not directly mean it. But when we realize the mistakes that we have made with others and in our own lives, it is the genuine sincerity that comes out of the moment in which we are able to relinquish ourselves from inner turmoil and bitterness.

This is the start of our new lives. As the flowers bloom this spring, we will grow like a soft petal shining in the glistening sun.

I love life for all it's worth. Up and Down. In all of my crazy, insane, ways. I smiled today, and for the right reasons.

3.24.2005

LOL

So. I still don't know what I am going to wear today. This event will be one of the highlights of my young career-the U.S.C./N.A.A.C.P. Forum on Homosexuality in the Black Community. Hopefully I'll be able to give some type of educated answers when questions are presented. Pray for me please.

Okay it's 4:46 a.m. and I am delirious so I'll keep it short and to the point.

I talked with "Boy A" this evening. Very cathartic. We'll talk about it later. Later meaning in my new book, Full Circle. The sequel to the prequel.

I have to wake up in 3 hours and go visit my cousin at the pen. So I am going to have on some oversized clothes, a baseball cap, and some Jackie-O glasses. That sounds hot. So incognegro. Don't want anyone to get my tea.

Something eventful happened today, but I can't seem to remember. Maybe it was speaking to "Boy A" and me telling him to watch his back with "Boy C" they've been together for two months. Which is longer than he and I talked. He has a nice heart. Good intentions, bad decisions.

Off to bed! Long day tomorrow (Today). I love all you guys and thank you for your support personally, professionally, and financially.

Special shot out: Drea, Nkechi, Ms. Tara (The Southern Belle) & Mike Hammond.

3.23.2005

Untitled (How Does It Feel?)

"What a day, what a day. The man knows something, knows that he knows nothing at all..."

-Erykah Badu
Baduizm 97


So where do I begin? I overslept for class. I knew I wasn't going anyway because my sleeping pattern has been off for the last three weeks, nevertheless I still did want to go. I am seriously thinking about scrapping this whole semester and starting again in the summer...Too much to deal with.

I think yesterday had to have been the best day ever, especially finding out that my book sold out across the whole city. I still don't think this whole publishing bit has hit me yet...But I am glad that my work is getting out there. I think for once someone somewhere can appreciate the realness, honesty, candidness, and the openness I serve. Cause bitches wanna act funny when you bring it to them real...

Today was another day of reflecting and thinking. A few issues I am dealing with mentally...

I guess that I am naive, well to a certain extent. I think that it's quite obvious to some, and it has probably crossed the mind of most; my sexual orientation. Is he gay or is he straight? This is something that I don't go around telling people, and it's not necessarily that I want to hide it either. I am having this issue. I didn't or don't have a "come out of the closet" story with my family. I am sure that they all know, but I confirmed for someone today, and the reaction was, well, I have yet to find out.

My family life is rather interesting. I was an only child for 20 years, right, 20 years. My mom had a new child three years ago while I was studying at Southern University. My Mom comes from a large family, it's 9 of them (5 Boys, 4 girls) so I had cousins to play with and things.

My father passed away when I was six, he was murdered, and in addition to me he had a daughter, we are three years apart. She and I don't really have a relationship. No shade...We just don't.

My family life changed drastically in 1996 when my Grandmother was murdered...

My perfect family life was changed forever. The family that I had grown up with was more distant than ever and I felt like I had been punished for something I really didn't have a part in.
I was distraught because I felt my older cousins were privileged. Everyone came to their High School graduation, their proms, watch them learn how to drive, and I got none of that, because my family was too busy bickering to come together.

Nonetheless, my family wasn't and still isn't close after 9 years. Half of them don't even know that I've started my own publishing company and have a book out.

But today it was discovered not only that I had written a book, but I was gay and I wrote a whole book about being gay. Not that I care about their discovery cause I am quite "Whatever, fuck you too bitch!" type of person, but it's just weird how I'm close with certain people and then they freak out when they find out that you suck dick.

So last night one of my friends calls me at 3 a.m. 5 minutes later he shows up on my lawn in a paranoid, reefer induced, smoken haze, blitz-telling me that his ex, "Boy C" is HIV positive. I was quickly taken back because "Boy C" is the same person that not only gave him a correctable STD, but this is the same boy that he cheated on his then "Boy A" boyfriend with. But the plot thickens, and it gets confusing so pay attention. My Friend, myself, and "Boy A" (his boyfriend first) were all friends. I scolded my friend for his promiscuous behavior and told him to change or I would stop being his friend. He didn't listen.

It got so bad to the point where we would be at the club and be engaging in multiple sex acts! (Yes with multiple people) So I had to cut him loose. But "Boy A" and I were friends too. Long story short, "Boy A" found out that he was being cheated on, but never found out who the culprit was. "Boy A" and I messed around....(crazy right) I was in that situation where I was there for him during the break-up blah blah, and that one thing led to another bullshit. Get this. Not only is "Boy A" now dating "Boy C," "Boy C" has not disclosed his status nor the fact that he once dated and burned "Boy A's" ex, and "Boy C" knows they dated. Why me? Why me!!!!!?????

So my friend is all tripped out because I told him long ago that the gay circle is extremely small. And watch who you keep company with. And when you're a hoe, its a claustrophobic box. Am I paranoid? No. "Boy A" and I never engaged in risque behavior. Do I get tested? Yes, and I will continue to. But I knew this day would come....

I'm tired of trying to date. The shit is whack and overrated and everybody is all fucked up in the mind. They either don't know how, can't be, or just don't want to be happy...Then they meet someone like me they are jealous of me for living out my dreams. And I don't even think I am doing anything major.

I do have one issue though. Especially when comes to dating: my weight. I don't make it an issue, but everyone else wants to point it out to make me seem like I am the insecure one. I know I am fat. I can outrun most skinny people I know, I am comfortable with my fat ass, and once again there is nothing wrong with me for wearing a size 40. Get over it already queens.

You fags make me sick trying to impose your perfection of physical appearance. And I am irritated, because it's utterly ridiculous-and it does damage people mentally. But thank GOD I'm strong enough to deal with you shallow bastards. LOL. I don't care if I am stepping on toes either, fuck you.

Answer me this: I know people look for their equal mentally. I can understand that. But what and the fuck does someone who is your equally physically do for you? Why do you want to look at something that is similar to you, isn't that the whole point of opposites attract? URGHH.

The last guy that I attempted to talk to on an intimate level asked me 39 times over a week period, yes I did count, "How much do you weigh?" When I never told him, and asked him what was the relevance of him knowing that-he tried to tell me I was insecure. I wish you fags would get it together. You're so damn concerned with your outer appearance and burning off your cafe lattes at Bally's and things you're going to miss the person that you claim you want to meet and be with.

But I'll end this movement by saying this. If and when I do get ready to conform to societal views of beauty, and I get my six pack, I'll remember you when I am sittin up pushed, with a fat ass bank account, to go along with my fat career, my fat ass, my fat house, with my fat inner happiness, and my fat security. LOL. I think what I said is "hot." "FUCK YOU SKINNY BITCHES!!"

Anyway. I am gonna get ready to return some phone calls. Clean my kitchen, take a bath, and go have sex with my muscular, 6-pack-shakur havin' sex partner.

Peace,
call it what you want. I ain't bitter, just upset at the way there is such division amongst a group of people that are already outcasts.

3.22.2005

Is My Hearing working?

So I wake up this morning to a disconnected phone. How stupid did I look, the white lady tellin' me my shit had been interrupted, like the girl. I was like fuck that bitch! How and the hell are they gonna disconnect my phone and my phone jack hasn't worked in over a month. Do they think in their right minds I am going to run them a check when I've had to forward my home calls to my cell phone, which was totally inconvenient seeing that the bill collectors do frequent the villa via landline, uh PAHLEASE!

Nevertheless, I got a missed call on my cell phone from this nigga I know named Ernesto. Keep in mind that the tone of the conversation is just how it is written. Two guys on the phone. No exclamation, monotone the whole way through.

T-"Whassup black bitch, you called?"

E-"Yeah I was calling you to congratulate you California Rattle Snake."

T-"On What?"

E-"I went to the bookstore with Erica yesterday to get your book and they were sold out."

T-"Oh, word. That's cool-maybe they can run me a check."

E-"I am happy for you-that's tight, you're sold out at 4 stores."

T-"Oh okay, thanks for letting me know that. I have some bills to pay, excluding my phone bill. Let's do lunch."

E-"I would but I have to go up to my job to sign some papers. One of the patients accused me of rape."

T-"No way. Who?"

E-"This old ass man Mr. Such and Such. He said I hid under his bed and proceeded to give him head and I flipped him over and penetrated him. Keep in mind he weighs 400 pounds"

T-"Oh wow, do they know that you don't like sucking dick?"

E-"Yeah I told them, but just the fact that they are taking me off of work to investigate me, for such a vicious, heinous act."

T-"They should give him an anal check. Cause your dick is pretty long and thick, I'm pretty sure it did some damage as rough as you are in bed, wow, I can just imagine. What are you gonna do?"

E-"Wait until the smoke clears, so I can sue them."

T-"I heard that shit. What are you doing today?"

E-"Just that and probably catch up on some shoppin'"

T-"I want to go to lunch. And maybe go to the sidewalk bistro and get a soy caramel mocchiato"

E-"Great, shout me"

T-"10-4"

3.21.2005

Time To Myself

Great.

The first week of my book tour is done. 3 Events, 2 signings, and they get better each time. I am looking forward to my keynote session at U.S.C. on Thursday. I scoured the GAP and countless other stores in the Beverly Center and the Westside Pavillion today trying to find something to wear. I think this is going to be more difficult than I thought since I've cut my locks off, I have to go for a totally new image, so we'll see what happens between now and Thursday. And they don't make the cute clothes past a size 32 and I refuse to drop below a 38. There is nothing wrong with being a 40 in the waist. I look good. "Skinny bitches are evil."

I hope you all had a great weekend. I did. Saturday's event so topped my weekend. But I think it was today that put me in a place of reflection. For the first time in a month I've actually had time to spend time with myself, which is a great thing.

The weather today in Los Angeles was beautiful! The winds were high, the sun was out, the skylines of the city were clear, it was a nice 60 degrees. I washed my hair, rolled down the windows and bumped Ledisi's My Sensitivity on repeat. I was free.

Sometimes we get in these ruts where people just get on your last fuckin' nerves and everyone seems to know what's best for you, except you. Then the same people are so quick to judge you if you seemingly, subconsciously follow their broke advice...That's over and done. I am tired of these fake ass hoes tryin' to make me think I am crazy for saying and doing some of the things I do. (Am I venting, I sound a little heated)

Today my friend J.D. asked "What's your spring theme?" I don't have a theme, just a few rules that I know that I need to reinforce. This is what I came up when I had time to myself, while letting the wind blow through my hair, enjoying the scenery, not being boggled with inflicted pressures of trying to make it:

1. Live and Let go. The shit is old, drop it along with the people who created it.

2. Go with your first mind. You know how to handle your shit, you're the only one that is going to have to deal with the outcome.

3. Smile. Stop letting these people know what you're thinking and what you're going through.

4. Accept it. There is nothing like challenging an obstacle head on. The only thing you can do is jump over it and take it in stride.

5. Tell People How You Feel. Bad or good-let them know.

Thanks once again to Fred!

3.20.2005

What a Wonderful World.

I just realized that Ordinary People, by John Legend is a phenomenal song. So is if I ain't got you by Alicia Keys. Nevertheless, I-pods are a great invention. None of this has any relevance to what I want to write about this evening.

This is my first entry into my "blog." With the advice of my new writer friend, Frederick Smith (www.fredericksmith.net) , writer of "Down For Whatever," I decided to create one, because I just don't like waiting until the beginning of every month to update people on what I've been doing with "At This Moment." So Thank you Fred.

I kicked off my book tour this week. I did a signing last night at A Different Light Bookstore in West Hollywood and this evening I had my signing at Matais. I had a much better turn out tonight at Matais, since the sun came out and most of the readers in attendance were Black Men. Which gave me a lot of energy because my book talks about our experience as gay black men! I am so excited about that. So thank you Matais for having me and supporting my work!

It was such a pleasure meeting all of you tonight and reading from my book. The readers were very responsive, involved, and real. I had a great time. I am looking forward to my events this week At U.S.C. and at Life Works Mentoring...

I am experiencing the success of this book and recognizing the importance and relevance of this book. I am fufilling my mission. I wrote At This Moment for all the other (primarily) Black men who are hurting in this life. The men who have to deal with being BLACK, with being GAY, and being MEN. I want you all to know, wherever you are, that you are a success, you are great, and you can make it through whatever situation and circumstance, because I've done it. I want everyone to read my book, if you aint got the money to buy it, write me I'll send it to you.

Thanks to everyone who has shown me support in this venture. I can't remember everyone who came out this weekend, but I do remember, Emily, Atom, John, Joseph, Mack, Daniel, Fred, Matais' God-Daddy, my Uncle DuWayne, Timmy, and there are like four people I am missing, two of which came with Mack...I forgot your names, I'm sorry. But I do thank you for your support and encouragement. If this isn't the time to stand together as a positive community of strong united Black men, when is it?