Contemplation, Aggravation, Frustration
I've got some serious decisions to make, but before you help me, lets debrief, shall we? How was your weekend? Mine was okay? Nothing really major to speak about except for the fact that I am excited that me and my cousin who is on lock down, got a chance to speak for 2 hours. I am extremely proud of him and I am glad that I had a change to tell him that I loved him, and supported him, and I was there for him. There truly is power in words.
I dropped out of school today. Too much on my mind, my plate, too much period. And besides there weren't any cute boys in class to motivate me to stay...So I'll try again in Summer.
The dilemma of the month is: Friday, April 15, 2005, 6:00 P.M., New York, Hue-Man Bookstore.
I was confirmed in February. Since I run my own shit, that means my funds are limited. Anyway, I called in a favor to someone who I thought I could count on who could help me out. I had a friend from L.A. that moved to New York about 2 years ago. I called him up at the beginning of March and told him that I setup a date in New York and would it be okay if I could stay with him while in town doing my book stuff. Of course he said okay, but now that the date is two weeks away, why is he avoidin' me like Ellen avoids penis? So fuck that fake ass bitch. All it takes is a "no." So as it stands I'm canceling my New York date. I think it's the right and only option right now, seeing that I don't have 300$ a night for a hotel room, damn I don't have any money for a hotel room. Fuck this shit, I am not about to get stressed out and go on an eating binge over that nigga. So yall got some hookups? What should I do?
Fuck a hater. I am not canceling my date. I am going to show up and show the fuck out! Show these bitches what realness is made of.
Hmmmm other than, the minor setback in my agenda, I'm good. I've got my health. I've got other great people around me. But on the same terms FUCK FAKE BITCHES. FUCK PEOPLE PERIOD. STUPID ASS H8TN BITCHES! LOL.It's so funny, how people pretend to be cool, be down for you and then they just act shady for no reason. Just be real...I can't give it anymore energy, I'm Trent Jackson. "Sell me some juice bitch I'm thirsty."
"I know Shuggie Otis." Isn't that a dope song. Okay this makes no sense. I'm done really. These *iggas are fuckin' ridiculous. I'm so tired of being the one with all the answers, the one with the "common sense," the one with the best ideas. But I've accepted that. That is a gift. I have to shift my focus, immediately. Tonight I will work on my third book, Terminal 31.
Shot Outs: Tha Big Homie on lock down, Zena, Tara, Aunt Jacky, Vince, Aerin, Teresa. And the beautiful products of my cousin Tuesday.