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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

4.08.2005

New Leash on Life...

We take the simple things for granted. Mobility. Food. Shelter. Publishing deals. Cars to drive. People that should be appreciated more. Hearing. Speech. Life it self.

My day didn't start off normal. I got a break from taking my sister to school. Babies Daddy finally took responsibility for his parental duties. Finally.

After spending the day marinating and thoroughly luxuriating in my bed, I went to check the mail to find nothing more than bills. Bills, what a beautiful thing.

I went outside, and my blackout blinds in my room hid a crisp, windy, brisk day outside. The air clear of smog. The sun gleaming, beautiful day. I decided to get some air and go to my writing lab, "The Realm."

I changed my mind, and decided to cut a corner and hit the overpopulated Starblacks, The Magic Johnson owned, Starbucks in the Ladera Center.

I thought this would be a good place to endulge in some atmosphere and finish working on the re-writes for the sequel to At This Moment. And it was. I am glad I chose to go there.

On the way there of course I had to stop at the gas station to get my truck out of E, cause the girl has been on riding on excitement for over a week, I think. Fuck gas and this damn 2.90 a gallon, UH already. I need a bucket.

So while pumping gas I couldn't help but notice this fine ass light skinned boy. Medium-thick the way I like 'em, sportin' his new Cherokee. I was like yes, but I wasn't thinking about pullin' cause I was bein incognegro today. I am always like that when I leave the house unless it's appearance time.

So while caught up in his radiant glow, I noticed that it was none other than Mark. This dude I met while stopped at a red light on Crenshaw sometime last year. We had sex a couple of times. I really wanted him to be the one to break me in, but as it turns out, while yes he likes his dick sucked, he likes to be fucked too. I was disappointed, but still...

It was funny how we didn't speak. Exchanged eye contact that was it. Not really weird. But hmm. Anyway, (who is this dyke walkin' up in Starblacks?)

So I make it Starblacks, and I am on my cell talking to Aerin, who I was being completely rude to, excuse me doll, for that...I see my childhood-good-best friend Reesey and her sister Jacky sittin' out on the patio lookin' pushed enjoyin' all the good pieces of dick walkin' around. So Reesey goes "Excuse me," and I was like oooh look who it is. We were all incognegro, hats, glasses, and all. It was a trip we all have the same M.O. crazy.

It was good seeing them, especially since it was my first social, outing this week.

So we gossiped, talked about boys, dinner, and we even saw this stripper from the catch, come to find out that Reesey went to school with, (damn dude walkin' by looks good as fuck, damn how can I be down?) then she calls Kia, her high school homegirl and dishes her the tea. Messy ass.

So we sat out there two hours, before I decided to work. I got up and went in and there was nowhere to sit or plug up my laptop. I guess I am not the only negroidian C.E.O. that likes to look creative, smart, suave, and debonair at Starblacks at 2 in the afternoon. Whatever, so I drive to the next one.

I finally got a chance to catch up on my work. It was very cathartic. I wrote about one of the many conversations my cousin Tuesday and I had.

Tuesday died in January. But I wrote of a specific conversation and it summed up the way I had been feeling over the last week, because I had been in that space before. I thought about what she said and it took me back, writing it down. She was such a good person and she was really the only one in my family that I could verbalize things to, and she would understand without me going into great detail about the whole situation.

She would always know exactly what to say to get me back on track. She was the one who had my best interest, mentally and emotionally. She was that balance that I needed, the one everyone needs.

In saying that, it just reminds me how I shouldn't allow people to control who I am. It's easy to let that happen, especially if they are your family or you are close to them, fuck if you live with them.

Today I realized that there is always someone in life who reminds us not to take life for granted, and to accept things as they are. Find a way around them and move on, without hurting yourself too much. Who does it for you?

As I sit across from this paraplegic woman in Starbucks, I had to stop and think what must life be like for her. How do people treat her? What does she think? It makes me more appreciative of life, and it's not so bad after all. It could be worse.

Sometimes we think our small insignificant problems outweigh everyone else's, and we shut down when we don't need to. But just as always God sends someone to remind you telling you you're oversleeping. And we all need it, sometimes more than others.

I am looking forward for the things ahead. For today the wind has blown away all of the smog in my mind that paralyzes my thinking, and the ability to be who I am, in my element. The Sun has shined its ray's on me to rejuvenate so I can wake up tomorrow and face a new task and overcome obstacles placed on my track.

What a wonderful life...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wait.....there really IS a Magic Johnson Starbucks???? I thought that was just a joke when I heard it on GIRLFRIENDS. Wow....I am out the loop.

Rashid, www.oldgoldsoul.com

Anonymous said...

^^ LMAO