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5.13.2005

The Week In Review

Everybody knows, almost doesn’t count.

This will probably be one of the most interesting weeks in the second quarter. I say quarter because I run my own corporation, and I think in quarters all the time so please excuse me. Between Dave Chappelle checking in, and Alexander professing his love to me in front of the world, I don’t know which one of those fools is the craziest.

This is going to be a long blog, so get yourself some popcorn, buffalo wings, a blunt, whatever you do while you luxuriate, get it.

First things first, Shawn #1 is great. He’s a really nice guy. Although I have my reservations about him…LOL. Anyway.

There are some great blogs that you have to checkout, they’re really great, and they’ve visited my blogdom. First there is No4realNo4real, he’s a cutie, plus he’s really funny. I think that he is trying to take me from my self proclaimed thrown of “Blog Poster-Boy for Candidness” (thanks Chris E., whom I also adore…some days at least). Then we have Basquiat in Brooklyn, the 22-year-old man with the 5-year plan (soft core porn star...). He’s a PH.D. Student and he has a lot to say. Besides being 22, in a Doctorate program, he’s cute. I thought I was doing something at 22, I bet he is impressive on paper, just as he is on photo. Then we have Jason Cooper, the young romantic at heart, who is also a man with the plan. I am just very happy that there are so many YOUNG (a great thing, defining paths today, leading the future tomorrow) BLACK (defying the stereotypes) GAY (defying more stereotypes, thusly doing something positive and showing people you can be functional and out of the closet…) MEN (do I have to explain this?) doing positive things that will benefit the globe. These are blogs you have to read and check out, they are phenomenal fascinating people. I love them already! “And Tell Yo Friends”

East coast boys are so much better than the west coast boys, I’m movin’. Damn these piss colored cats in Honda Civics on 17’s or better yet assholes with Range Rovers….

Dave Chappelle. I guess he became Tyrone Biggams after all huh? No, but all shit aside, the pressure that comes a long with having the best selling DVD of all time has got to be great, along with 50 million dollars, plus residuals. I am glad that he recognized his need for help and didn’t go out like Whitney or many other of our people that kicked down doors and made it easier for the generations to follow.

Everybody knows, almost doesn’t count. This is the first and last time I will address, Mr. Alexander Jacobs and his blogdom of followers, whom of which were mine first.

While I am totally into the fact that Alex has everything that I want in a man physically, mentally, and financially, the most important and deciding factor is missing from the equation, his emotional state. This isn’t a situation where you take the good with the bad or compromise your own mental and emotional equilibrium to be content sexually or materially. That’s tired. And that’s what he’s use to dealing with. Besides I am not a material person anyway…

While it is fine and dandy that he’s attractive, he lives in a million dollar house, he drives an 80 thousand dollar car, because we all on some level want the success and the status to be like Mr. Jacobs-that means nothing if you have the potential to be verbally or emotionally battering. Or you’re prone to get tired and move on cause you wouldn’t be able to handle “two egos, two prides, two struggles, two different experiences…”

I will not now, nor will I ever compromise my self for being in a potentially hazardous situation. Alex called me fat. That’s fine, cute even. It's half way funny. Thank God for self-esteem and not letting others tell me I am less than because of my size! If being fat is the formula for happiness, self-worth, not putting up with peoples shit, their issues, problems, etc. So be it. I don’t have to change who I am to be with anyone. If you don’t like what the package is wrapped in find another one. Don’t try to change the wrapping and make me who you want me to be. I am an individual. I WILL ALWAYS BE THAT.

He says he’s never been in an emotional relationship with a guy. Okay, find someone else who is down for the experiment. What do I do if I decided to be with you and you didn’t like the idea of the emotionality that went along with the sex? Then what? I am left somewhere pissed off regretting the decision in the first place. But because you made up for things everywhere else, I settled, I compromised, that’s something I never do. Settle. I understand the compromise factor, but we’re not in a relationship, and this would be compromising who I am.

If Alex can’t ask me how my day is now, or he's calling me fat now, what the fuck is the nigga gonna do when I am really with Him? Try to knock me down the stairs like Ike did Tina? I don’t think so! The nice 8,930 dollar ring, or your bank account doesn’t take place of my pursuit of happiness or my partner knowing and accepting me for me. PERIOD! Take it or leave it, would love to have it. But I'd rather be broke and happy versus rich and miserable.

Now if I was one of these cute size 32 waist boys who was out for the loot and didn’t mind having my rectum turned inside out maybe.

But I am greater than that, and you can’t respect that. I need understanding, stability, acceptance, true love, conversation. I haven’t got 1 out of 5 from Alex.

I think Alex should experience and explore relationships with men a bit more, before trying to approach me. I know what I am looking for, and he’s not it. Alex has the potential to be a great mate, but it’s not my job (and I won’t make it my job) to make him who I want him to be or make him what he should be.

My advice to Alexander Jacobs is this: You’re use to getting what you want, when you want it. I want you to realize that under the Rover, your salary, your house, all that material shit that thirsty fags are attracted to, there lives a heart. Find out what it is that you want to become and make an effort to become that person without involving other people or taking people who have realized what it is they want and need on a roller coaster ride that they don’t want to be on. When you’re ready to be the person that YOU want to be, I will be waiting. If I’m not with anyone we can try it again, if I am, we can be friends. I’m willing to help you through-but I am not going to allow my self to be drug through the mud emotionally to help you understand who you are.

As usual to my readers, thank you, I appreciate your instant gratification, and I LOVE what I do for you. I am glad you can come here and learn something different every week, I love chatting with you.

ShawnQT. Shout me! We have to finish our conversation. T.C. thank you. Fred Smith, I see you!

Until next week.
Be Safe, Be Productive,
And Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise…

Trent
“And Tell Yo Friends…”

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

i love you for being you! you keep shit real and thats what i like about you. i hope alex takes your words to heart and really treasures your friendship for what it is. if love/a relationship is meant then it will be. if not then its not.
((((big hugs to ya))))
tlc

Valentino said...

Like that dude said at the end of Punks " You had better do it !!!" Phuck Alex, go put sugar in his gas tank...

Frederick Smith said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Frederick Smith said...

Loving today's blog. As usual.

ShawnQt said...

I think you just created a moment in history brotha! It's sad to say, but most gay men really do fall for material things... and I'm proud of you to speak for us, and say that we will not settle for less... and that the heart is the means of wonderful relationship. You get much respect from me on that one. This is not an attack on Alex... just an expression of who u want in a person. You have the right to do so. I like how you addressed it too, very classy, I'm feeling that. Only ur life!

By the way... what reservations are you talking about? lol. I will most def hit you up, sooner then later.

beejay said...

wrappin shit in foilpaper won't make it no hershey's kiss...

--bj

No4real4real said...

Hey man thanks for shouting me out on your page. I am really feeling all the support I am getting since I been blogging. I must tell you that I am not looking to dethrown you. You got that all day man!