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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

6.03.2005

FRIDAY FINALE!!! SHHH! On Tha DL!

I was hesitant, and rightfully so. Only a select few have privy to his presence physically, but we’ve all been in his most inner thoughts. For the past year he’s graced us with his trials and dilemma of his sexuality. He’s politically inclined. Opinionated and he’s serenaded us all with his real-life jargon about his experience of Smiling on the DL.

He’s enterprising, argumentative, confrontational, irritable, prone to rashness and premature movements…he’s generous, kind, somewhat cooperative…but to me he’s a contradiction and he knows how to press my buttons.

There isn’t any doubt in my mind that he’s smart, and has great potential and even one of the few to have power over the masses. Something like Frank, Larry, and myself…he even dropped a few bombs on me…like he's apart of the thick boy crew...see who's behind the screen! Secrets, Secrets, Secrets, and not like Vicky or Toni Braxton.

He has a few good things to say, but I I think one of the reasons why he agreed to interview with me is because his intent was to try to damage me…you’ll see what I am talking about.

Here he is…(yawn) Smiling On The DL

Trent: What church do you go to?

Smiling On Tha DL: LOL

Trent: never heard of it

Smiling On Tha DL: uh huh

Trent: do you go to a prominent black church in New York?

Smiling On Tha DL: yes, I go to a prominent black church

Trent: gotcha. So. I did want to have chicken sandwich ready for you with no mayo, but well do it later....

Smiling On Tha DL: sounds great... hmmmm…. you remember the no mayo

Trent: yes...I wanted to touch your heart

Smiling On Tha DL: that's wassup

Trent: so how old are you?

Smiling On Tha DL: 24

Trent: do you have kids

Smiling On Tha DL: no kids, yet

Trent: you live alone

Smiling On Tha DL: yes, been living on my own since last Sept

Trent: that’s cute, you know I have beef with you right?

Smiling On Tha DL: and why is that?

Trent: How dare you bite my top 10 list. You aren't even a bad facsimile of me-you didn't even have pictures on yours. If you're gonna do Trent, do it right!

Smiling On Tha DL: LMAO, that was my top ten celeb that make me smile, my post had better men

Trent: OH NO IT DIDN’T, you had all them damn dykes on there. You must be professing your membership to the bottoms club...

Smiling On Tha DL: and what made them bottoms?

Trent: you missed it.

Smiling On Tha DL: yeah, I did, lol.

Trent: So I read one of your posts, and it said one thing you needed was s true friend...do you have one?

Smiling On Tha DL: I have many actually

Trent: is No4Real4Real one of them?

Smiling On Tha DL: No4Real4Real is a very close friend of mine...that's been there for me when I just started to feel like I really was attracted to men

Trent: which was in 2002?

Smiling On Tha DL: nah, summer of 2001

Trent: okay...I think you've been blogging the longest out of my little blogdom here...and you're at like 7,000+ hits...do you think that you set any blog trends?

Smiling On Tha DL: well, I have been posting for a minute... Throughout my blog, I have exposed a lot of personal feelings, which aren't always express to someone I know. Allowing my readers (blogger friends) to know its ok, to release some of their emotions in a post. After reading some of my earlier stuff, someone may think I was suicidal, because of so much depressing emotion

Trent: yes. So being gay is a battle for you?

Smiling On Tha DL: Definitely, a battle that comes and goes. Although, recently I've been winning most of those battles.

Trent: In one of your initial posts you said that "reading the works of Boykin has helped me on this journey" tell me some more about that

Smiling On Tha DL: Well, Keith had big political ambitions at a young age, like myself... he was active in many organizations... His ambition and being gay drove him nuts about what he was to do next... and that's what I go through

Trent: Yes...you are very political and I commend you for that...tell me about your goals politically

Smiling On Tha DL: Well, I said I wasn't going to divulge that information because I'm so damn paranoid…but I want to become President of a historical National Non-Profit Organization geared at helping the needs of the Urban Community. As well as run for a congressional seat.

Trent: why are u paranoid?

Smiling On Tha DL: My fear of not being accepted by those who respect me

Trent: which is normal...do you think you'll get to a point in which you'll be like fuck them and be who you are?

Smiling On Tha DL: I have always been one of those men that you will meet and say, "He's going so succeed in many things." And if sexuality is exposed things may change, that was part of the last answer.

Trent: see now you're making me feel stupid....

Smiling On Tha DL: nah….Eventually, after I become more established and older I hoped to fuck em’ and be who I am... but in many ways I’m doing it already. I live my life. I am a private person. I am comfortable with going to g-life clubs, house parties…and starting to give OUTed members my real name. I'm on my way!

Smiling On Tha DL: I never was like this before

Trent: OKAY...so why don't you want to tell me who you are

Smiling On Tha DL: Because I'm not there. The place where I want to be…completely comfortable with who knows about my lifestyle

Trent: you're too contradicting. We'll talk about this particular issue in 6 months okay? Is your penis big?

Smiling On Tha DL: LOL, wouldn't you like to know?

Trent: I think it's small.

Smiling On Tha DL: I think yours is extra small....

Trent: I'll send you a copy, along with my book

Smiling On Tha DL: I bet you won't

Trent: and an autographed photo, better yet, I'll be in NYC in 10 days, you and I can have a session.

Smiling On Tha DL: Nah, I’m ok...

Trent: the nerve of you, you probably don’t like fat people!

Smiling On Tha DL: Oh boy, have you read my entire blog?

Trent: yeah, actually I have and I know that you and I have a lot in common among other things...

Smiling On Tha DL: well, I lost 56lbs last year, I’m not going to get into how I look.

Trent: I already know.

Smiling On Tha DL: but, that was a huge battle that I've over come and still am, the battle with my weight.

Trent: express yoursel...

Smiling On Tha DL: so, I couldn't say I don't like fat people.

Trent: You know you're very defensive....

Smiling On Tha DL: I'm just answering your questions.

Trent: I don’t think so.

Smiling On Tha DL: Take it like you want.

Trent: It's very interesting following your experience going to clubs, you should publish that beyond the blogdom-that could help a lot of young men....

Smiling On Tha DL: what experience are you talking about?

Trent: just I was reading your blog earlier from like may last year and you were talking about different things that were going on in clubs...

Smiling On Tha DL: Well, gay clubs aren't the greatest place if you don't like yourself.

Trent: yes

Smiling On Tha DL: When the weather is right, and your body isn't tight… then you want to go home. After I lost the weight, I started to enjoy myself much better

Trent: but I think they also build your self confidence and you can learn a lot about who you are and what you want...and you make the decision about how you want to treat people

Smiling On Tha DL: I felt good about myself

Trent: did you loose weight to fit in better?

Smiling On Tha DL: I lost weight, so I could look in the mirror and say, I love you. No joke. I avoided the mirror for a minute and I wasn't even that big. It was me feeling FAT.

Trent: really? My feeling of being fat lasted all of a week

Smiling On Tha DL: YES, good for you... I think most gay black men that are big boned… suffer from some type of depression

Trent: yes we do, I am FAT! Fuck those code words for being fat.

Smiling On Tha DL: I'm a former member of the fat world. And I will never deny that.

Trent: If and when I get skinny I am going to always be a member of the 40+ club

Smiling On Tha DL: I will never want to be skinny

Trent: skinny bitches are evil, like Valentino

Smiling On Tha DL: I'm a 34in waist… and some folks think that is fat... but really it isn't

Trent: you deceptive little shit, you’re skinny! THIS IS OVER

Smiling On Tha DL: That is not skinny, I'm still trying to get a little smaller

Trent: you made me vulnerable thinking you were apart of the crew! Get out of here

Smiling On Tha DL: I am not skinny, I’m regular, LOLOL

Trent: how tall are you

Smiling On Tha DL: 5'7

Trent: how much you weigh

Smiling On Tha DL: LOL, none of your business

Trent: you in the 2's

Smiling On Tha DL: all up in my business, no. Been there done that

Trent: that’s my gig baby, you knew what you were getting into when you signed up…Well if you're so confident tell me how much you weigh.

Smiling On Tha DL: don't forget I’m the one that called you the Gay Wendy Williams. I never said I was confident. I'm still battle with feeling fat... although I’m 56lbs smaller

Trent: well you certainly come across that way.

Smiling On Tha DL: it ain't like that

Trent: well now that I know…Do you cry a lot?

Smiling On Tha DL: LOL. I don't cry a lot... well some may say a lot… but, I’m very in touch with my emotions... I need a good cry though

Trent: well I am only asking you because to me you're always talking about shedding tears like they're your clothes during sex on the blog…

Smiling On Tha DL: well, a lot of my earlier post was sad... talking so much with my sexuality battle... and I had to let it out… it's how I able to release... or sometime when I'm in church and need to rejoice

Trent: yes...you're very spiritual or religious whichever you call it...does that conflict with your sexual identity

Smiling On Tha DL: actually, I just came back to church on Jan. 16th. I've always been spiritual and went to church whenever I woke up... But, now it’s a necessity to go to church at least once a week... Since going to church, I know I'm more confident than ever... Knowing how powerful and loving my God is, gives me the strength to survive, better yet thrive in all that I do

Trent: are you gay?

Smiling On Tha DL: And if you know God like I do... He still loves me. This winter was the first time, I said those words out loud, so, yes I am. I love whoever makes me happy

Trent: so you're bi

Smiling On Tha DL: I'm gay

Trent: okay. So how many relationships have you been in

Smiling On Tha DL: I’ve been in three "relationships"

Trent: before the weight loss?

Smiling On Tha DL: all before the weight loss…

Trent: Did you find any similar dynamics in the relationships?

Smiling On Tha DL: not at all, they were all three different people

Trent: why did you end them or why did they end

Smiling On Tha DL: don't want to get into all of them...but the last one ended because the brother was to controlling, Its hard being in a relationship with a brother who is active as I am

Trent: okay...so did you find it hard or difficult to date because of your size?

Smiling On Tha DL: I don't know if weight was involved. No one disrespected me and said your fat. I didn't know I was fat, until I lost the weight, LOL, swear to Goodness. I thought I was a little big...still cute, I called it chunky

Trent: yes...I just find it so interesting that you're not on the skinny side and you haven’t like reached out to me sooner or something, you're so cold…

Smiling On Tha DL: I'm not cold at all... I'm a lovable guy

Trent: what are you initials

Smiling On Tha DL: very funny

Trent: I mean you have to admit that smiling on the DL is a long name to call someone

Smiling On Tha DL: calling me Smiling, DW, my alias, Dwayne Wayne…

Trent: and did you really think I was gonna make a pact with you and not talk about your identity? You wear glasses and funny lookin’ hats that went out of style 10 years ago?

Smiling On Tha DL: you already got the height out of me

Trent: you have short-man issues

Smiling On Tha DL: MOST DEF, I don't care how tall you are... I’ll still knock you out, LOL

Trent: okay and that’s fine too, but I am not a fighter.

Smiling On Tha DL: Well, I never had a fight in my life… but I hit people all of the time

Trent: I am more of the type to let you kick my ass, get up and laugh when you're done, press charges, and sue your ass in court, and have you finance my projects for the next 10 years and there's always a good plastic surgeon to fix your face…

Smiling On Tha DL: LMAO

Trent: that’s how I do...then send the hench men near your final payment and have you tossed in the Hudson...while I cross my legs at the ankles and plot my next move.

Smiling On Tha DL: thanks for telling me

Trent: of course, I always switch up...So do you have sex a lot

Smiling On Tha DL: Not penetration

Trent: you don’t penetrate or what?

Smiling On Tha DL: I don't get down with penetrated sex if I’m not involved with someone

Trent: so are you a headhunter?

Smiling On Tha DL: what is that

Trent: you like suckin' dick?

Smiling On Tha DL: most def, and love getting my dick suck, too

Trent: you lick boy pussy?

Smiling On Tha DL: honestly, my first time was last December and it was much better than I had expected.... it was with a play buddy...haven't done it since...actually there was him... and oh yeah him, lol…I'm really into foreplay

Trent: you're so boring

Smiling On Tha DL: Oh well, that’s what I like

Trent: so do have man boobs

Smiling On Tha DL: nah

Trent: what’s your favorite place to shop?

Smiling On Tha DL: Macy's or Bloomingdale’s, when my boy gets 40% off

Trent: When's your birthday

Smiling On Tha DL: March 15

Trent: oh were two days apart, that explains a lot who are your blog friends besides No4real4real

Smiling On Tha DL: don't use that name when you do post this. I'm kewl with Frank, claystarr is a great friend I met from blogging-he is awesome

Trent: you're funny…hmm...this has been really interesting, Smilin’, I think it's safe to say I would like a Part II very soon

Smiling On Tha DL: When we do that, I hope to be closer to my place

Trent: I was thinking in a week

Smiling On Tha DL: lol

Trent: after you see how I chop this up. You'll probably be angry and annoyed

Smiling On Tha DL: hmmmmm…and you will get messed up when you get to NYC

Trent: is that a threat?

Smiling On Tha DL: its already saved

Trent: you should watch what you say...those words could come back on you

Smiling On Tha DL: Its already saved

Trent: I'm not worried about anything...LOL, I love it when people get beside themselves

Smiling On Tha DL: I know you get off on that, Black GAY WENDY

Trent: and so do you, that’s why you agreed to this interview. And for the record I'm Trent Jackson...I ALWAYS stay ahead of the game.

Smiling On Tha DL: so, u think

Trent: remember that...I may run my mouth. But I am a mile a head of you....

Smiling On Tha DL: of others, not me…let me stop

Trent: sure, think that

Smiling On Tha DL: I will continue to do so

Trent: great, I am glad that we have that understanding

Smiling On Tha DL: Pisces always have to be argumentative

Trent: this interview is done

7 comments:

Frank León Roberts said...

Trent, you are really and truly doing the dam thing with all of these interviews. I'm about to contact Steven Fullwood at the Black and Lesbian Archives at the Schomburg Center and tell him he should be archivingh all of these dam stories, lol!

Smiling is such a tremendously sweet and beautiful person. He is so sincere and open, in all of my interactions with him in the "real world" he's been such a sweetheart. Yet another good man on the meat-market fellas! Grab him up before someone else (someone LUCKY) does!

The Divo said...

Trent you never cease to amaze me. First off. Smiling has got me in awestruct. I had a couple of issues and I think that I can talk to him about them.

I really want to encourage him too. I want him to be the Congressman even if I never do know his real name. It's not often you get someone that is aimed high with good foundation. My only hope is that his foundation is not movable.

Good interview, and sure I think I am ready to be next.

Although there is a story on the inside that is budding to come out it may be the steal of the month.

We'll chat....


As always in Parting,

I came in Peace and in Peace I leave.

x-hunnie-x said...

Just letting you know I was at your website. <3

Anonymous said...

good interview!!
tlc

Valentino said...

Trent you know just the right questions to ask. This interview was very well done. And I aint that damn skinty !!

BTW is that symbol Hunnie's breasts ?

No4real4real said...

Well, well, well...Smiling's Tell All (actually Tell Some) Interview.

Trent don't have my cut you for coming for my boy. I cut like I take my dicks - long, deep, and continuous! ROTF Great interview guys. I really enjoyed it.

Just-as-I-am said...

Great interview..really enjoyed every part. Smiling u seem like such a cool person. Trent u are hilarious.