Happy Friday. My original post will have to wait until top of the week since we all have seemed to some how go haywire over Mr. Roberts post. I was going to write this earlier this week. Before Frank called our attention to what should be a constant thought in all our minds. But I decided to take full advantage of the moment now, while we seem to be thinking clearly...
I am rather neutral on Franks post, I do find it to be more than valid and I am glad that he opened the doors for discussion. I don’t feel that he called any of us out. I believe that he was posing a question to us all, since we are so vocal about other relevant issues that affect us as gay black men, he wanted our opinions on HIV as well. His point was to start dialogue and that was it. People always get their panties ruffled when “controversial” topics, questions, and comments are posed-but that is the problem, we always run away from reality because we don’t like to be “called out” own our own shit. I thank Frank for his post-and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Those who took it out of context are nothing more than guilty of their actions and insecure about their own issues with the topic and furthermore they are intimidated by Frank. It was a blanket statement, but again I really am neutral.
I do however feel that persons who are HIV positive and don’t disclose their status to those who are negative or ‘assume’ to be negative a problem, but those who are positive are also a large part in spreading the virus. Not to say that these HIV positive individuals are solely to blame, because they are not. It is the responsibility to both parties involved, to cover up your dick or abstain from sex to be 100% sure that you’re not placing yourself at risk. And to regularly get tested if you are sexually active.
Just a thought, what if a government ordered HIV test was required twice a year? What if it was a crime to have sex with someone who was HIV negative and not disclose your status to them?
I also have a problem with statistical data. There is error margin, and other factors, which inflate the number of cases…not to say that HIV isn’t the rise…but I think 46% is a bit far fetched…especially when the number of African-Americans in the U.S. is such a small number like 8%
That is my response to Frank’s post and this will be my last and only time that I will discuss HIV in this arena. People are aware of the decisions that they make, and they also know that the risk of contracting any STD is a gamble when having sex. The best preventative measure is to be abstinent, because we all know condoms are not 100% safe, and high risk sexual activity, like contact with blood and semen…and saliva in my opinion just enhances your whole chance. Not to say that I am an expert or telling you how to live your life because I am not one to talk, I am guilty of engaging in high risk sexual behavior as well.
The bottom line is, we know what to do but some of us just caught up in the “moment” of sex. You can’t really tell people how to live their lives either. We can talk about it until we’re blue in the face. The action lies on the individuals to change the course of their own health and life.
Switching gears to something that has been on my mind for the past week.
Why is that we cannot be constructive in uplifting each other sincerely IN AND GENUINE AND HONEST MANNER? By that I mean challenging each other to be the best that we EACH can be--not giving each other some sap ass, transparent comments on a blog comment box. We should really BE evoking thought and changes in each other for the better.
SOME of you may think I SHOULD NOT BE ONE TO TALK since all I do is talk shit, talk bad about people, and run my mouth WITH malicious, vindictive intent…but let’s really look at my scorecard.
There are a few bloggers that challenge us to think about our actions and inspire change, but my question is why can’t we call somebody on their shit? And help them…
We at times get so caught up in this life…we have all of these plaques, all of these titles, nice bodies, cute faces, nice clothes, nice bank accounts, the right social circles, the right last name, the right parents, the perfect dick size, the best of everything. What does all of that mean when we are selfish hypocrites wasting our lives being vain and not willing to uplift our own community? Or help each other in the struggle?
A few things bother me.
For instance (This was on my mind before Frank’s post) we have a fellow man who is infected with an STD that he cannot get rid of, HIV. But why is that every day he has a new episode of his sexcapade with a new man? And we think this is okay. We egg him on by saying, “Oh maybe you’ll find love,” “Good luck in your search, its hard for me too,” or “Just be patient your man is coming.” No one ever says maybe if you stop fucking so much-or hooking up to fuck then you’ll get a man! No one ever says respect yourself and change your life proactively for the better, because the promiscuous lifestyle that he glamorizes is probably what got him in his situation in the first place. No one ever asks him does he really respect himself-no one ever questions anything! They just sit back and watch him self-destruct. That bothers me. Where are we at to help him? Where are we at to help him find the beauty in his life? And don't say he doesn't want help...if he didn't then why would he expose his sexual behavior for the world to see?
ARE WE NOT OUR BROTHER'S KEEPER? Do we not care like we say we do? Are we really that selfish of a group not to have a brother-to-brother chat with someone that we see obviously hurting and acting out and degrading them in the process AND PUTTING OTHERS AT RISK?
We’re quick to give a fashion tip, talk about the new Louis Bag, take pictures at the club and broadcast them around the world, be all up in everybody’s business, smile in the face, turn around and backstab in the same breath, don’t support each other, find everything wrong with everyone else-and then have the nerve to complain and wonder why we have stereotypes and issues within our community.
I’ll justify my actions by saying this, since I am sounding overtly hypocritical. I find the positive in everything I do. Every time I write, blog, I challenge the mind to think, I try to take you to a different place so you can understand the struggle of the next man. I try to talk about my experiences in which you can learn from them, I try my fuckin’ best --my all even-- to be proactive in DECONSTRUCTING the stereotypes that linger over my head like clouds in a storm…and all this to say nothing, I don’t blow my own horn, but I know that people offended by my statement will try to show me in the worst light-and find everything wrong with my statement and try to twist it around on me…this is how the guilty and insecure mind works.
Stand for something.
Something that is different.
Strive to be different.
Strive to be more than mediocre.
Think out the box.
BE YOUR BROTHER'S KEEPER.
EVEN IF THAT MEANS CALLING HIM ON HIS SHYT.
“Quit Bitchin and Start a revolution!!!!”
To My bloggers who have taken me to a place of deep thought, shared their experience and challenged me to think, I thank you.