My anxiety had been building up for months around the date of August 7th. The Day that my cousin would be released from jail. My adventure began with no sleep, and the ringing of the phone at 3 a.m. by my uncle to let me know that he was at my house so I could accompany him on his three hour trek to pick up my new parolee cousin, who is just a month younger than I.
I felt complete. My cousin one of the people that I missed the most was standing right in front of me, looking at me dead in the face…I would never thought that this day would come where we would and could be finally in control of our relationship. For now we are grown and we can rectify our parents mistakes by breaking the chain and becoming productive, supportive, positive adults, together, something our parents failed at.
Our car ride was full of questions of jail life, survival tactics, and all like that. But me being me, I was wondering if the homosexual nature was rampant in there like people think, it’s too soon for me to inquire anything like that because I am still trying to break the news to him that I am gay…
We got home and we spent a few minutes with our family…but immediately we had plans to go to the Beverly Center, and blow money and do the things that we were deprived of doing as we were growing up. We had fun, sitting over drinks, talking about our future plans and how much he wanted to change his life for the better. I think this had all to do with knowing that I was back in his life and there were people there to support him and challenge him to be better…I cared. And it was evident that he was glad to be to give apart of himself back to me.
My family life is something that always plagues me. I am a product of a nasty cycle of embedded dysfunctionalism. And I am starting to realize the chains that I have already broken.
I am enjoying my time with Tuesday’s children. I am glad my cousin is home and he is able to reconnect with the people that are important to his existence.
I am glad that my prayers are always answered right on time. Today I feel complete-my life with my family is getting better, and in the process I am becoming a better person.
Day 14: Honor Yourself with Freedom.
Today, I will remember how powerful I am.
Today, I will remember that I am protected, guided, and illuminated by the divine presence in my being.
Today, I will remember the number of times I have been sheltered from the storm.
Today, I will remember that I have been forgiven when I was unable or unwilling to forgive myself.
Today, I will thank the dive for mercy, grace, and goodness that give me the FREEDOM to be and grow and live the glory of my divinity.
For This I am grateful!
And so it is!
God’s grace is Freedom.
God’s perfect and divine plan for my life will set me free.
Freedom is my diving birthright.
Freedom is a state of mind.
I am always free to choose.
My free will is the foundation of my freedom
I am free to ask for what I want.
Freedom is an experience that money cannot buy.