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8.31.2005

Office Thoughs and Crazy Talk

Alright! Thank you for joining me today. I swear it will make sense to you soon. It might not have made sense then, it may not have made sense when all the fog was in the air, but the shit will make sense now…

Question: Is Clay my new competition? I love him and all like that, no shade Clay, “How You Doin’?” But you’re really giving me a run for my money…Why am I hearing in my head, “Step Your Game Up,” you know that Snoop track. I mean a bitch has been sliding for a while now, I know some of you people notice, especially the bitches that like to get up on here and talk all out the side of their neck and all like that, like they really know what the real deal is…and speaking on rivalries and stepping up games, one of my nemesis beat me to the punch line. That’s okay, I’ve been laying low…and although he thinks I’m gonna bite, can no body do it like Trent.

Shot Out to: All of my fellow bloggers. I’m sorry that I haven’t been keeping up with your blogs; I’ve been so busy! But I WILL read you this week. Big ups to all of my office workers those who are confined to the cubicle or the ones with the office an no window, shot out to anyone who works in the office-the pits…All of my regular readers I love you! I see you, I thank you.

My thoughts are with all of my readers and personal friends from New Orleans. I am praying for you and I am hoping to talk to a few of you soon. My first love lives in New Orleans and I haven’t been able to talk to him yet…so I am kinda anxious about that. But once again my thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of those who have been affected by the Hurricane in the New Orleans/Biloxi area.

Don’t be alarmed these are the thoughts from the first day of my new gig…back in the corporate world, in my cubicle…lol. Ask questions later. I always find time to sneak in writing some type of way…so here is my stream of consciousness.

I look so good. I like to convince myself that I am a night person. Maybe because of nighttime activities. But truth be told I like to get things out of the way so I can luxuriate the rest of the afternoon.

I like the way I look in the morning. Fresh to def. Curls in order, fresh breath, creased clothes, soft lotioned down hands, shiny jew-ellz, Burberry touch on the neck, pulse points, and shirt to add to the ambiance. I can’t forget my nicely balmed thick, nicely shaped lips.

I know the two hoes my opposite cubicle hate me. They are always prying to see what I am doing. I’m always touching myself up, spraying down every two hours applying a fresh coat of shea butter to the lips, blotting the face for oil. There is a cute, excuse me fine ass dude in the office, and I have to look right, I am very competitive. And I know all the right people to make friends with, and I have to make friends with him. Don’t think I don’t walk past his cubicle on purpose just to see what he’s doing or to see if he’s looking back at me.

I know I come off arrogant or whatever. But hell it’s only my second day here-I’m really not trying to make friends with them. I am on my 6-month plan.

All I have to do is come to work on time for 180 days and that promotion and that all expense paid relocation fee to Manhattan is mine. Then I’ll work for another 3 months and bail on their asses. It’s perfect, because I’ll be closer to him, in the mix with all the right people and party non-stop, while having wild circus sex with that hot nigga in Brooklyn. I am so ready to give my virginity to him…

Wait…why does the name on that cubicle say Cartier Carter? Wait, and it’s a dude!!! What? Niggas and their names…I wonder if he knows it’s French. Wait, I have him in my pocket…

So it’s been a few months since I’ve been involved in the real work world and it almost sickens me to my stomach. I mean I want the east coast bad. I wasn’t about to deplete my savings on my lavish life-Wait her name is not London Towne…I figure at 2,000 a month in rent plus another 2,000 in moving expenses. I would have technically had enough money for two months rent not to mention a new NYC wardrobe, furniture, and whatever else I might trick my apartment out on (rolls my eyes) so there is a plan. A method to the madness. I took this job just to use it to my advantage. My days of paying corporate dues are almost over. Then when I shack up with Mr. Man we will be a power couple I can see it now…

Office Gossip: No she is not on her corporate phone talkin about how Kim owes the IRS 80,000 cause she was goin’ exempt for years, silly ass hoe.

Those are the types of bitches that pay meticulous detail to what I am doing. So they can probe my cranium with the are you gay question. Anyway, let me get back to shuffling papers and looking busy. I don’t want that lesbionic supervisor of mine coming down hard on me on the second day of work, I can’t seem to hide my pre occupation with my self grooming habits, who do I think I am a cat?

I hate work, I don’t see how people can be cooped up in these damn office thingies all day…but damn he’s fine…and thick. I wonder what he would feel like bent over. Or on his stomach with his ass in the air with my tongue in it. Or maybe me on my back with my legs in the air. Mmm…

Tomorrow: The Lunch room and more jargon. Plus a few tricks up my sleeve.

4 comments:

Clay said...

LOLOLOL - no competition man!!!

DizYaBoy said...

step it up then playa!!

Anonymous said...

oh my!!! its trent man>>>>>
tlc

Jamal K. Franklin said...

WAIT?!?! You working a new job? A 9-5? Wow, I wouldn't have ever imagined. It's a lot of fun (in some ways)...congrats to you and good luck bruh!

Coming Into Reality,
-Jamal