....My blogs have been boring. Me talking about my family and all like that. I figure that I take the time out to try to make a genuine effort to get close, love, and cherish my time with them-since there was almost a loss. I think that we should try to learn, not even learn, lets go beyond that, accept people for who they are. Their difference, their positives, their negatives, especially our family. I know that my family is unique, functionally dysfunctional. I've learned that each of us have our own experience that makes us who we are. I've learned to (primarily my maternal side) love them from a distance. I understand that we love each other, but we really don't know how to love the right way. So with that said, I've been trying my best to make the damn thing work, since Tuesday died and my cousin got out I have to hold on to what's left. Because they are my family, not only am I nothing without them, but truly, really, when it comes down to it they are all that I have. No matter how many books I sell, how many Benzes or Range Rovers I have or will get, who I socialize with, my family, as long as I live-just like most black families will always be there.
My blog is about life. It has nothing to do with my career, my attempt at fame, my book (although I do mention it at times...). I talk about things that we all go through, and I write to let you know that you're not the only one going through the struggle. Our universal thread is the desire to be loved and love. We all have it. That is our driving need. We go through shit that tests our ability to love and to be loved...But I think with every experience we learn how to be better equipped to past the test to attain, love.
Last night me and Mark hung out...And still no call from the Wendy's Boy, okay I am really over him. For the first time in our adult lives, we went to Happy Hour and got drunk...and me, in all of my inebriated faggotry called an anonymous blogger and tried to have conversation with him, I hope I didn't make a fool of myself. But he's a nice guy...sorry I interrupted you....and damn I love that Bow Wow and Ciara song. Anyway after about 10 Cadillac Margaritas (or Salt Waters as Valentino calls them) we headed to the Hustler Casino and came up on a few Hundred each playing Black Jack (damn we got lucky...) then we went to down to CoCo's to get Sundaes and Pie from the after glow of Tequila, damn we were acting high like a muthafatha. Was the highlight of the night when we saw the crackhead chick sitting in the back of the car slapping herself laughing senselessly while her eyes popped out her head like she was seeing Michael Jackson serve Jesus Juice to the little boys?
It's funny how when you're drunk, you can capture the pure essence of someone. Sitting there watching him discretely, comparing him to the kid that I use to know. The kid that I hung out with every Sunday at the skating rink. He was the same...there was something about his restlessness in his nature, that portrayed his cool, laid back, easygoing, sometimes non-chalant attitude. His sporadic wit and humor is right on time and you can't help but to laugh for a good five minutes. He's still smart...sharper than ever. He's good with words and a good conversationalist. All these years I knew that he needed his family just like I needed mine and I am glad that we can finally be there for each other...I can't help to think what could have been if we would have been in touch all those years? We closed out the night driving down the 405 freeway listening to the 80's mix on my I-pod singing to all of the Bobby Brown, Hi-Five, Jodeci, Troop, Soul Fo Real, H-Town, songs that we use to groove to when we were kids...for a second I thought I was in Waiting To Exhale. You know how they were all singing at the end...?
I have to admit that I have a crush on a blogger. Maybe even in love with him...
Day 22: Honor Others With Service.
This means to give yourself (time, knowledge, resources) without an attachment to the expectation of reward or recognition. Working with a consciousness of love...unselfish giving.
Shot Outs To: Clay, Valentino, Shawn, Stone, & Marz. All of my readers, Silent, Unspoken and Blunt. My fellow bloggers-and all of my aspiring artists alike.
UM, WHERE IS: IQ, A.D. (Don't be namin' no building's after me...) and Kevin C?
Shout me! I won't know you're here unless you tell me....