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Only In My Life

Alright, Alright, Alright…

What a week, weekend, whatever, this has been.

Shot Out to: Markell, Stone, The Fonz, The Blacks, Brandi Jade who is in Biloxi, working her ass off. Shot Out Vincent in Biloxi working his ass off, you guys are so like the bomb to me, helping our people out in a true time of need. Big Ups to Kanye West, didn’t I just say the other day how he was winning points all over the place, and he done went off the teleprompter and said what he had to say! He has balls!!! Kanye is my MUTHAFUCKIN HERO. Last but not least, shot out to Clay who is doing the damn thing over at his blog. He is providing excellent commentary on the whole Hurricane disaster issue. I love him and thank him for that…he is truly dicking down the English language with words that touch us all and make us want to jump up and say “How You Doin’” and hallelujah to! I appreciate you so much for what you are doing right now, not only are you saying it, you’re doing it.

I think I have some of the best readers around. I get some of the coolest emails from people, and it just touches me, because people like to focus on what may some interpret as negative all the damn time and people just try to make me out to be the opposite of what I really am. So it just really touches me and lets me know that I am eye level with some one out there…I love it.

Another thing I love is seeing my family together. Family time is real cute, especially when they can put aside diminutive differences and be a unit...

You know, I knew a long time ago he was a hater. I had already made it up in my mind when he left that stupid ass comment on my blog, to follow it up with that stupid ass email, that followed up that silly ass phone conversation that we engaged in…and the nerve to ask him what the purpose of my book was. I should have asked him what the purpose of his life was. Anyway…

So me and my friend Danielle went out on Friday night to the bar. But instead of her meeting me at the location or a mid-locale she drove to her cousins house which as about 10 minutes from me. Her husband forbade her to go out with me because he insists that I am straight and I tell her I am gay just so I can try to deter her from him and get in her panties. The straight men and the things they say! Hell gay bois and the things they say (How You Doin’?) But I mean, he tells me, my voice is too deep to be gay! LOL, WHAT. He clearly hasn’t got the memo, that we I get angry the octaves rise about 5 times…

Anyway so she parks the car at her cousin’s house. We go to Joes Crab Shack then we hit it to the bar and have a few shots of Patron and then we Rover on back to her car on 116th in Crenshaw, the East side of Inglewood.

So as I am pulling up to her car, with the windows down (it was hot from all of the laughter and inebriation) while bumping Sex Weed on my I-pod I noticed the tall, slender young man smoking some reefer in the middle of the block.

Danielle was getting out of my car to her car, we exchanged our disembarking salutations and right when she stepped out here comes the nigga out of the darkness,

“Are you gonna give me your shit or do I have to take it?” He shouted.

I was thrown off, because one, he was just at the end of the block smokin’ treez, two his eye was fucked up, and three he was half way cute and he smelled like curve and reefer, what a hot mix.

As Danielle was getting ready to hand over the Luis Vutton bag, I said “Girl what is you doin’ that nigga ain’t got no gun, you better take your bag back!”

“A cuz, you a fag huh? You a fag cuz?” The cock-eyed…(what’s the white word for robber……………….) the aggressor asked.

“Um what else is new girl, what is your tea. I mean the way you tipped to the Rover you act like you were tryin to step to this or something!” I told him back.

Danielle was down the block at her car fumbling for keys and all like that, do you know the bitch got in her car and drove off, to make me fend for myself, OH PAHLEASE!!!.

The nigga got in my car and started grabbing for shit. As I pushed him and called him the cock-eyed bandit, he hit me grabbed my eye, I mean, I-pod and dashed off. But not quick enough for me to put my car in reverse and give him a courteousy tap with my bumper and knock his ass out cold on the asphalt, or so I though.

As I fumbled around under the seat to look for my weaponry, I got it and made it out of the car only to find the reefer induced aggressor up, half way around the bend becoming one with the 2 a.m. darkness, haze and city lights. I had just been robbed. For the first time in my life I felt like a white girl n one of those scary movies.

I was pissed for one, he grabbed my I-pod, and yall know how much I love the I-pod, not only that, but it was a gift for my birthday. Two I hit him with a vehicle and he still managed to get away, with the I-Pod. Three, my friend was the true damsel in distress, and it didn’t get the police there any quicker either. Damn her and damn that cock eyed aggressor.

So…that was my weekend. YUCK. At least I had today off…wait; at least I am alive, although I know the bastard didn’t have a gun. Even if he did, I still would have had a conversation with his ass, just because I am chatty, and there is something about a young boy in a white T-shirt that just gets my virgin boy coochie moist inside. Now I have to replace my I-Pod and finish financing my editing studio this week, what a fuckin drab. But I am going to see Tevin Campbell on Friday…back to the world…and something else happened to.

Oh I know what it was, I was in the grocery store shopping on Friday and there was a light tap over my right shoulder and it was this guy that I used to do it with back in the day that has a big Johnson. He told me he wanted to do me so bad, so I skipped the grocery store and went back to his place a block away, fucked him like crazy, yes I sucked his dick while he ate me out and I ate him out then I dug him out how cute…
Then to top it all off, I see a picture of his wife on their wedding day as I exit the house, what a whore I am…I am just trying to figure out how he explained all the dishes I broke when I found out how he was married…and what type of karma am I gonna have come my way for that one? Don’t remind me….

This week we’ll have: Boy of the week, my new segment, Witty Wednesdays, a few interviews and a very special Friday finale!

I love what I do for you,
And my numbers on the counter keep going up, so I know you’re here whether you tell me or not!!!

Peace out biatches!


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Jamal K. Franklin said...

Damn...sorry to hear about what happened to you. I know how valuable I-pods are - and I know how you value yours. I remember the time when you left it and had a long drive and was forced to listen to the radio. You have my sympathy!

Coming Into Reality,

DizYaBoy said...

yo ... my ipod hasn't worked n two months ... but im 2 cheap to replace it.