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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

9.27.2005

Send It On...

What an interesting day this has been, I guess it’s like all of my other days. Even if nothing major happens, there is always something that highlights the day…

Shot Outs to: 215, I appreciate the time that we spend. Swimming Pool, how funny you are! My readers for being my drive to share my jargon with you Monday thru Friday! I appreciate you!

Don't front Toni Braxton today! 9.99 at Target and Best Buy. Don't front Lil' Kim, 9.99 at Target and Best Buy, yall betta put some money on that hoe books.

The beauty of friendship is like morning dew on a flower. It happens everyday, but is dried up by the sun, therefore we must take advantage of the moment while it is there…

I had an intervention tonight. I was on the phone with one of my friends from high school. We called one of our mutual friends who has bouts with depression, all too well. We were all talking and having fun; it’s been a minute since we’ve all talked on the phone. As people we all get caught up in our own lives. I’ve been working on my professional career, my friend just came back from an internship overseas, and she has been spending time with her new girlfriend…not to say that we didn’t have time for each other, but often times we get so caught up in our own moments everything takes a back burner to our own needs, as it should, but at what expense?

In mid conversation, she’s talking and then she just starts balling. My friend who lives up north laughed, not knowing if she was serious. I knew that she was, and I got silent for a minute, because she was at her breaking point. What got her to this point? Why did she get so fragile when she heard the three of us on the phone? I immediately hopped in my car and took the 6-minute drive to her house; I needed to get to the bottom of it.

She, like me is having her pre 25 stage. I feel the same way she does. I hate school, and I feel like that I haven’t done anything worthy in my life. Now before you say I’ve wrote a book and all of that, that really doesn’t mean anything to me, it should, but it doesn’t. I don’t look at it like that. I don’t have a degree, and if you stripped my talent away, what would I be? At least I would have a degree to sort of make who I am, but thank God for talent right? I think that the idea of stability bothers those who are creative. Bothers us in the sense that we want to be like everyone else, but knowing we can’t…

After sitting down talking for what seemed like forever I helped her with a few solutions to the problems, of school, working, etc. I gave her a few tips to balance all of that, while trying to be content with herself and not be lonely, in her apartment while her girlfriend is spending hours in the studio recording her debut CD…

Life is difficult, but we have to find the balance, and support to get through and find answers and solutions to the problems that perplex us too often…I am glad that I was able to be her Zoloft for the moment. Because one should never have to feel alone or abandoned when you’re going through something. I know what that feeling of emptiness is like, I know what it’s like to have no one understand you, and I know what happens when you get to that breaking point and you know that you’re better off dead than you are alive…and when you’re friends with me, you should never have to be to that point.

I think the pure essence of my day came today when I realized that shitting is so cathartic. I love shitting and I am most reflective while I am sitting on the toilet releasing the toxins of the day. But there is something about shitting in the corporate realm that makes me feel really uneasy, especially when you’re in that small confined space, being nosey. See sometimes I like to know who’s sitting next to me, you know you look down at the feet in the stall next to you, to see who it is, so you can look at them funny when you make eye contact in the lunchroom, and say in your head, “You know you shouldn’t be eating that, after you blew up the bathroom like that and had all of that gas…” I know I am crazy, but you know you be doing it too, and feeling self conscious when you have to go in there and put like 10 layers of tissue paper down and 5 layers of toilet tissue, and don’t let me have no hand sanitizer handy, I will squirt the toilet down and then layer.

See I like being naked when I shit. Even if the defecation process takes 5-7 minutes, I take an extra 10 just to sit there and enjoy the quiet time…and then I start getting ideas, or thinking how I am going to re-invent myself for the next book. Then I laugh at the other black fag writers who hate me for who I am and what I say, then I think about how wack they are because they spend so much time seeking my advice, reading my blog, and associating with my associates just to keep tabs on me. But I bet that you missed that I’ve already sold another 1,000 copies of my book dumb asses! (Snuk that one on u huh!) Let me lay this particular issue to rest…

On a lighter black writer note, Fred Smith, Brent Dorian Carpenter and myself will be filming an episode of The Herndon Davis Reports this week…I’ll let you know the air date, ironically, this is the same day that my show goes into production…

But take time to shit…never hold it in that could cause all kind of problems in your colon…

But wait! I am going to need D’Angelo not to fly through windows!! What is that about? Is this is wakeup call to stop smoking that shit? Anyway, he says he’s “Fine” and he’s ready to “record,” so I am sure he is gonna shut the shit down when he comes back out…

In the spirit of D’Angelo, lets Send It On…


Send It On

2 comments:

E said...

Okay I got Toni B's latest effort. She's one of the few artists that I'll buy the 1st day it comes out. Plus for $9.99, you can't complain much. Though, 10 songs? Amazon said there was 12. What's up with that? I'm listening to it right now. Not bad...Take This Ring does have a bit of an Amerie "One Thing"'s cousin feel to it but otherwise I'm enjoying it.

Quaheem said...

Am I the only one that likes reading the ingredients of certain bathroom items while I am on the shitter...

I do it so often you'd think I was a chemistry major....lol...

But yeah...those are "relaxing" moments..