Me

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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

10.31.2005

OOPS I Did It Again....

When satan calls you on your cell phone, tell him he's breakin up and hangup in his face.

Happy Halloween Bitches!!!

I don't know how I feel about this time change situation.

Shot Outs To: 215. You already know. Erika, I thank you for all that you do! It's always good to spend time with you in the A.M. TLC, thanks for that tid-bit! Oh I think they like me...and I am still baffled that you like Young Geezy. I can't take it! I knew you were ghetto on tha slide!

So they've been trying to get me to make a MySpace page for the longest, and I am like whatever on all of that. I mean I have a blog, a website, I don't really have time for any added data collecting services on the net...but I signed up like a sucker...and everybody is on there, even all that particular bitch that scratched up my BMW in high school, whore. Thats why her pussy is still stank now. Anyway, besides all that...check it out.

So I am having a chat with Alphonso and he is like "Is that Sunshine Anderson, that sings that song talking about Oprah and Stedman..." I am like no, Fonz, that would be Alicia Keys...Sunshine Anderson fell of because 'We Heard It All B4'

Anyway. I had a good weekend for the most part. Saturday, I lounged around all damn day, cause I was, still am tired...Me and Erika went and got some east Indian food and watched cheaters. Sunday she, I and my cousin Shanice went to church and went had brunch.

Shanice just celebrated her 17th Birthday the other day...and I mentioned her briefly. But today I brought her back to my house after brunch and we talked about family stuff...and I told her I was gay.

She didn't have the reaction I wanted...I was expecting the usual questions, you know, what type of guys you like, are you a top or a bottom, are you dating, etc. Whatever. None of that happened. I was like yuck, I wanted to be interrogated...but I introduced her to "Trent Jackson" since people in my family don't even know that I have a book out...I am a completely different person...and we're capturing that in my reality show. But I gave her a copy of my book and we talked about what life was like growing up, since she was so young when a lot of our family tragedy happened, she really was too young to understand the deal. But we're definitely going to be closer, since Markie, belled out on the family yet again...and I really wanted her to know the importance of our relationship to be positive, just because our parents don't get along doesn't mean we have to. We have to support one another and be there for another so we can not only set the example for them, but so we know how to be productive and healthy for our children.

It was a nice little exchange...I look forward to the healthy future. From this point I can only worry about me and my well-being. Whoever wants to come, can, but if not, don't.

I've been thinking a lot about relationships, since my third book is about love and relationships. A few of you have already have gotten the sample draft and love it so far, so I am building off of that so it can be out sometime next year...but it just really amazed me how people deal, accept, and compromise so much just to "have someone." Me and a close friend of mine were talking about a couple that we know and were just amazed at some of the things that go along in their relationship-and how people think that everything is all cool on the outside, but it's totally different in the circle.

It even challenged me to examine my own values because I found out that one of my potentials has a drug problem, a semi-serious one. It kinda flipped my weekend around because, you have a certain mind set of things that you don't want to deal with in a relationship. You care about a person, you respect a person, then you find out they're an addict. What are you to do? Just bail? I mean when you're too far into something you can't just leave...hmm. I was just thinking how your mate should be a reflection of who you are; thus what you feel about yourself. If this is true, why do we put up with things from others that we wouldn't allow ourselves to do?
And if marriage is till death do you part, why are so many muthafuckas divorced? Excuses are tools used by fools to create monuments of nothingness....

I don't know. Who really knows. I need someone to tell me some answers...or am I supposed to remain in the dark.

I smell an interview brewing....

Shout Me A Holler!
Fuck A Fake Bitch!

All that loud talking, lying, save that shit for your mammy, sounds like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah uh huh, okay, whassup, SHUT UP!

Then Catch a brick.

10.28.2005

I'M SO....

Many things right now! First off I am glad I can hyperlink again! It was the retarded MAC browser, Safari that wasn't something or another whatever thingamajigy. I can't take it. But things are going good.

Shot Outs To: Cash, How you doin? And Maurice. We need to have a threesome. You have to read their blogs, they are like mad hilarious! So much to the point where I can't take it. 215, I am going to reveal your identity like deep throat. A.D. How dare you change your email address on me! Imma show your black ass! Special shot out to Jamal Franklin, I think I want you to artificially inseminate me, in my castle, like Darling Nikki.

So I was at my cousins 17th Birthday get together. I am so proud of her, she's becoming such a fuckin lady! So mature, so classy, so saddidy. I love it. I invited her to church with me this Sunday...And I think I am going to tell her that I like penis. I am going to come out to my family one by one...It's about time they know what's really hood, especially since, TRENT JACKSON IS ENGAGED....I think.

So lets switch reels a bit, shall we?

MOTIVATION is defined as
the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way : escape can be a strong motivation for travel. • the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

Lets go with the latter. It was placed on my heart and mind to motivate you. Don't let anyone stop you fromachievingg or reaching your goals. Without motivation, who are we? I think about the times that I sat in front of my computer and finished At This Moment. The motivation behind the book was to tell my story of tragedy, hurt, triumph and to show people that you could go through anything and still come out the winner. We all have goals. Accomplish them now, by any means necessary. There will always be someone or something to stop you from loosing your 10 pounds, becoming a writer, getting that curly weave, whatever it is that you want to do...DO IT FOR YOU! Fuck these hoes. Make them catch a brick!

1. Reserve the right. 2. Just because someone doesn't agree with your opinion, based on your experience orintuitionn; doesn't make you wrong or crazy. 3. Don't ever allow other people to push their opinions on you. Make you think you're crazy, disrepect or invalidate you and your experience..Causee these hoes will try you.

We as people need to stop giving Satan and his haters so much power! I've been shutting hoes down left and right this week...I hate when people lie and tell me my attitude is whack! Why because I told you about yourself and I don't accept or validate the ideas or thoughts you suggest to me? My attitude is fucked because I have my own opinions and beliefs..Welll if my attitude is so whack and it's gonna hold me back, then I guess the 5,903 books I sold had a big part in my attitude being so burnt out right? (Rolls my eyes)

All I am saying is, like I always say, do you! Always do you! Cause ain't a bitch or a nigga gonna do it for you, no one knows you like you, and you know one like GOD! hmmm.

Have a great weekend. Be safe. Examine every thought, idea, and suggestion!

Shout me a holler!
Fuck A Fake Bitch
Catch A Brick on the way out hoe!

10.27.2005

Too Many Things

So my love affair is over for the moment. Niggas irritate me and I understand why I am single, but I think this is apart of the whole "love factor." I'm just having a moment, a spell, I don't really mean it, I'm just mad that we didn't talk today. Hmm

Shot Outs To: Tara, yes you're hooked and your brother is still hot. Marz, The Blax, and Fred Smith...How you doin'?

So about Noahs Ark...Why am I on it all of a sudden? Tonight's episode! Was it off the hook or was it just me? I still don't like the fact that the characters are stereotypical, but I am glad that the characters finally addressed one of the issues that face the black gay community, effeminacy and masculinity. It was brief and quick but to the point. Wade is too many things, including an over actor, but his mug makes up for all of that, but the show gave me more than Desperate Housewives tonight. I can't believe Chance drove through the house like Left Eye burnt that house down! He pulled one of my moves...That was so Trent Jacksonesque. Like the time Patrick dumped me, I made his ass catch a brick right in the middle of sleep! I threw a brick right threw his bedroom window! Mess with me again...Anyway. I am gonna need Alex not to be into sex toys and corsets! I can't take it....I am so looking forward to next week. It's getting good. I didn't bite my words all of the way...but there is still some overacting and there are still some stereotypical wack shit in the mix.

So I am off to get a colonic! And yes, this will be apart of my show, so you get to see the tube going inside of my...the only thing that has been inside me besides that, his, and my finger. Yes, I play with my ass, don't you? I haven't found anything else to fill it with yet. For the record I am not a full bottom, so get it together wise guy.

If you haven't already heard, yes my fat ass is on a diet, but not really though. Just need to shed a few vanity pounds, I am gearing up for my new photo shoot and some other things...I have to look right on camera, especially since I am gonna pull a Marques Houston. I am coming for you bitches! AWWWW, I love Shawn-TaQuan, he is such a nice man. And No4real has hot nipples! Shotout to No4real on his medical sponsored sabbatical! We all wish you the best in your healing process, you're in my prayers and we know you are going to get better!! I'm sure he'll give us the details when he returns, so you nosey muthafathas, fallback!

Well, the week is almost over, one more day...another day another fuckin' dollar! Make that money and don't let it make you! I am just realizing that we're only down to like 67 more days of the year...WOW...I didn't even think that I would have even made it this far. With the death of my sister early in the year, my book coming out, going through what I went through...WOW...I'm blessed. I'm grateful.

Trent is in the mix in 2006!

Shout Me A holler!
Fuck A Fake Bitch!
CATCH A UGLY BRICK HOES!

10.26.2005

AWWW!!!

Okay Bitch. Skinny, bitch, since "the difference between you and me is (although clearly not in physical terms)...you're bigger," before trying to read me, pick up a fuckin' dictionary and learn that the word is allot, not alot, which is two words by the way, put down Oprah's Magazine and stop living vicariously through her, cause you'll never have a pussy, and subscribe to your own magazine issues, since I don't know mommy issues like you know them-don't ever invalidate my experience for yours, and make me feel like I am wrong for having my opinion, which is formed and shaped by my life experiences. Come of that self-righteous, let me be positive and be a sun ray all the time, honey life is no that great where you don't have bad times! Miss me with all that. When I did try to settle it privately you opted not to do so and still continued your ridiculous cycle of asinine verbiage that didn't woo me at all. So you can be the new president of the I Hate (dislike, can't stand, etc..) Trent Jackson Fan Club, and sprinkle your salt from a distance. Just as you are an "Authentic, Highly Motivated, Results Driven, Author, Educated, Insightful, Witty, Young, Black Entrepreneur," I'm all that plus some, so KICK ROCKS, and fall the fuck back, catch a brick on your way out! Oh and in the words of Whitney, "And we're still friends, girl." LOL...How You doin?

Great! HAAAAYYYY. I love yall! Shot Out To: Tara, Shawn-TaQuan...(the Scion theory...), Valentino, Jamal, Unconquerable, Shondra, Erika...all them like that!

You know, it's real important to be careful what you ask for, cause when you get it, why do you complain sometimes? Hmm...

So, I'm not Internet dating anyone...there is a situation that is pending, that I'll disclose tomorrow...I just wanted a general opinion. But I am SOOOOOOOOOOO IN LOVE! MY GOD! Is it true? Is it finally happening...? What.

So...I have to be real choosey with my words since this guy is a regular blog reader...lol. Have to throw him off...and plus a lot of you know him too. I met him earlier this year while on my promo tour for the book, which has just gotten a surge in sales! I thank you for that...He was gorgeous to me right away...very quiet and reserved, which reminded me a lot of me. I was like, damn who is this dude. Nothing happened that night. We went about our way...then I got a call from one of his people saying that he wanted to "talk" to me. I didn't give in I was like whatever. A few months later on one of my summer tour stops, we met again and we exchanged numbers and we've been in touch ever since. Now, I want to be able to tell you what he told me, but I can't because then, well...but just know that I can't.

But it's so hot to me, when you really have someone in your corner that you can call at anytime of the day or night and they can just be there for you. Someone that understands you inside out...someone who doesn't make you think your crazy for thinking and saying what you have to say...but just to have someone understand you on a real level is such a blessing to me. It's so wow to me that I've been allowed to see all of his sides, I've seen him cry, I've seen him get mad, I've seen him drunk, I've seen him happy...I've seen him at work and I really respect him, and the cute thing about all of this, he's more famous than me...lol

So I'm on cloud 9 tonight...

I'm thinking about all of the love songs that I can make "our song..." I'm even plotting out the reception party. We both have friends all over the country, how would we pull this off. Hmm...

Don't forget to watch Noah's Ark tonight, 10/9c Logo...

Do you believe there is love for you? And do you think two gay, black men, with a certain amount of celebrity can hold together a relationship?

10.25.2005

Oh So What!!!

Oooh, I guess y'all don't like me, silent asses. I can curse someone out and get a gang of comments, but a bitch being introspective and all like that..hmm. How You Doin' Divo? So what Janet has a baby. I been tellin the kids for years that Janet had a baby, you remember how thick she was, in all black, like the omen, in that what have you done for me lately video! Hmm...I always knew she lived with Miss. Centipede, however there isn't any riff between the two of them I think. Whatever...Rest In Peace Rosa Parks.

I am in love with Shawn-TaQuan and I want him to roll in the passenger seat of my SCION, whenever I get it. Hmm. Doesn't he look mackalicious with that picture on his blog. I can't take it.

OMG! Have you read the new Essence, with Boris (my ex-husband) on the cover? Lookin hot to def, I can't take it. It is an amazing issue with the stories of the Hurricane Katrina survivors inside...WOW, is all I can say. Go pick it up and read it, if you already don't have a subscription. I have a free subscription to give away, so if anyone wants it, shout me a email and I'll hook you up.

Shot Outs To: Alvin, How You Doin? I read that article on your 6'4' 225 pound self...I'll keep my mental comments to myself. 215, I am glad I can vent with you (and quit asking who 215 is, he posts on here all the time) Shawn, Divo, J. Franklin and the Unconquerable...hmmm.

See, I hate mind games, thats why I don't play them. What? I am so tired of hoes having input on things...I am going to start wearing a sign that says leave me alone.

So I am on one of my infamous Target runs mid-day, and I walk through the store, not wanting to be bothered, and I always forget that I'm "Almost Famous," so this guy is like hey! Hey! And I keep walking because I don't respond to that, and he follows me down the aisle and he says, "Don't I know You?" Maybe you do, maybe you don't, I don't know, I say. He says "You're Trent Jackson huh, didn't you do that TV show in Santa Monica and weren't you on KCRW with that show too, you write books to huh?" I was like, yes thats me...How are things? "Fine, it's so good to see you, what are you up to? I worked the teleprompter on that show you did..." I didn't remember, that was so like two or three years ago or something like that. Then he went on to tell me how funny I was and how it was always good to have me on the set and blah blah blah....I felt bad, because I was having a personal moment and I was trying to be nice and be cordial, but I don't think it went over to well, he asked me for my number, I gave him my email address...LOL. I guess. He was nice...but what does he want with me? I can only imagine the thoughts of boys and the things that run through their heads when they see my ass. I know what I think about when I see....well, lets keep that private too.

I've been feeling real urban this week and it's only Tuesday right...I am feeling David Banner and T.I. right now, and I am not the least bit of a Rap music fan. What has gotten into me? I think that is Nate rubbing off on me, the afterglow that is. I'm proud of pookie, he's in that teach for America Program now, he's subbing and he starts his job as high school English teacher in January at my old high school...hmm. He says it's because of me that he gave up the "thug life," but he's a "Thug till the day he dies..." I think he is in love with me...and it's not bad laying up next to him at night. He keeps telling me I don't have to move and go get another house or apartment when we can move in together...YAWN. I am not playing house...I don't do that, I need a ring, and even then I am not moving in with you until the week before we get married. Hmm, I needs space!

Anyway, I ain't talkin about shit. What is your take on internet dating? Shout me...I'm done, stick a fork in me.

10.24.2005

Oh I Think They Like Me!

"Yea these niggaz like me, haters want to fight me
Yea these niggaz mad cuz I came up over night B...."


You know, I am totally glad to be here today! Shot outs to: Blair...8 more days right? You're so revealing. 908, it was great speaking with you. I appreciate our conversations. 215...It only gets better. A.D., what a pleasant surprise! To all of my readers yall are the bomb, and to all of the Book fans in the U.K. I appreciate your emails, cards, letters-it's like so totally hot...!

So...Y'all know I've been praying right...and can I just tell you that GOD truly has been moving! Awesome things can happen in a 48 hour period! All of those that have been having prayer with me...we're better in numbers. 12 noon East coast time, 11 Central, 10 mountain, 9 pacific time. All those in agreement say, amen...alright?

I think when one is ready to get their life together, they do it. I was so happy last night, when I read unconquerable Souls blog. The opening quote was so powerful, in fact the whole dam post was so moving, I had to go lay down, because it was so real and just phenomenal and such full of life! It's so good to hear someone speaking life to the situation at hand...I love it. It's such a dose of truth!

But back to my thought about getting your life together. I think when people are ready to cleanse and get rid of all the bullshit, they just do it. I was ready to cleanse. Cleanse of people, cleanse of myself, because we can be our worst enemies sometimes. I knew that there were certain things that I had to shed, and the only way to do that was to get my spiritual life in better order. It's like a leaky faucet...you see the water dripping, pretty soon is going so fast and leaking so much out of control you have to get it fixed...Pray, believe, and step out on faith and watch things work. I think that I said it before, that we think as humans we can handle things on our own, but we really have to realize that it isn't about us...

I am thinking about my cousin Mark, who again, is in pain, he is in trouble. The only thing I can do is pray. I realize that parenting is probably one of the most difficult things in life to do. There is no how to, there is no manual, everything is trial and error. My generation (me and my cousins) were the products of a broken family. How can you really expect your parents to love, support, care, nurture for you beyond the physical sense, when our parents never had it? Yes we are spoiled, we had more materially than our parents did when they were growing up, but that emotional connector that was never established pre our existence has never been there, this is probably one reason why I don't want kids. I know what I lacked and I would be too afraid to have a child lacking the emotional support I needed. Although, I think I am smart enough to identify what it is that I was missing, so I can ensure that someone else gets it, especially my sister.

I think I relate to Mark, a lot more than he knows and I really want to find him on his AWOL mission so I can talk to him. Just to let him know that I love him and care for him-and I don't care what he does or how he does it, just to know how important it is for him to be apart of my life as my family. I know we both have different sets of experiences and circumstances that dictate who we are as people now, adults, versus the children we use to be...but I remember how we were as children, and I know that the same kid who I once was still lives inside of me, is the young Mark still inside of him? I wonder...

This will be a great week. Challenges, trials, new experiences, new meanings of things, a new lesson to shape my life. I am ready to take the ride. As I buckle up my seat-belt and look life, the sun in it's gleaming eye, what's in store for me? How will I cope, how will I deal? Will I break, will I be unbreakable, will or can I follow the example and be unconquerable-like the soul? How will you gear up, I've been here before...but will I know what to do?

10.21.2005

Week-End

I'm glad to have gotten through this week. For it was a week of self-discovery, understanding, growth, sadness, reflection, happiness, pain, humor, and a slew of other positive emotions! It was such a great week.

Shot Outs To: 215, MARZ (I got ya...calm down...), Shondra, Jamal, ShawnQT, Tara and my readers, I thank you!

I really don't have anything to say, except I am blessed and so are you! Even though you may not realize it, but being on the internet is a blessing....I am grateful to have all of you be in my life even if it is in the smallest way-you are apart of my being just as much as the sun and the moon light, for we all are a reflection of each other.

This weekend, be prayerful and start to call things into existence that you want...grow and learn from your experiences. Always take time out for you, don't be afraid to say no...

What I've learned this week:

Being effective begins when we stop being concerned about being effective.

Fear is preparation for failure.

Everything we are is revealed by how we play.

Don't judge, you don't get paid for it.

Likes and dislikes are extremely cheap.

Turn a disadvantage to your advantage-the greater the seeming disadvantage the greater possible outcome.

Use fewer words...I held my tongue a lot, and it felt good...

When you have noting to say it's very hard to say nothing.

Everythan ain't fo' errybody!

Sometimes we have to do it on our own...

Begin with the possible and gradually move towards the impossible!

I love you! Have a great weekend!

And as always...

Shout Me A Holler
Fuck A Fake Bitch!
Catch a brick Hoes...

Every thought, idea, suggestion must be examined!

10.20.2005

Today Is Thursday NOT FRIDAY Trent

Why have I been under the impression that today was Friday and not Thursday all week, I can't take it-I mean I haven't been that burnt out to the point where I don't know what day it is.

Shot Outs To: My Oh so fab! Readers, thank you much! All of the new kids on the block, I welcome you, thank you for being apart of my world, if only for a minute. Shondra, such a pleasure, and your time is coming, I see Philly in the background. 215, "Always in my head," Jiaia, my new partner in crime...My NW45 Friend...I knew what the deal was from the first look...Shout me! I appreciate the hawk!

I must stress the importance of prayer life. I was thinking about this while I was riding the bus downtown, yes I ride the bus sometimes, just to get back down to earth. There is nothing like a good bus ride when you have a car and a full tank of gas to humble you. No matter how rich or famous I get, there will be certain things I do that will humble me...Riding the bus will be one of them and shopping at Old Navy too. But I was thinking about how hypocritical I must look and or sound, telling people to pray one minute and I am saying fuck the next. I am not trying to justify anything, but I usually only go off on or about something when I have valid reason...Don't we all do that. Like I said earlier in the week, I've always been spiritual, prayerful, and it was just my time to reveal it to you. Because I really realized how important it was for me to do that-God plays an important part in everyone's life and we have to recognize, acknowledge, and respectful to him and the gifts that he's given before it's too late...

Alright, so early in the day I called up Erika (my best of everything), and I told her she had to be at my house at about 7 so we can watch Noah's Arc on Logo. I was pissed because the TV in my living room was acting a hot mess, the satellite just couldn't get it's mind right, so I had to dart up to my room to catch the intro, and of course Erika was late, only about 2 minutes, but..That's a lot of time when the TV show is new and you don't want to miss every nook and crannie.

I am going to hold on to my first notion of the show: STEREOTYPICAL, OVERLY STEREOTYPICAL. The premise of a Black "Queer As Folk," is cute, I like the idea, I'll support the show on just that premise, however, maybe I am being overly critical. I look at it at two ways. One: I recognize that we're gay. But we all aren't "clockable," we all don't speak with a lisp, we're not all hoes, we all don't like clothing, we all aren't fit, we all don't ask each other what the "tea," is, we all don't refer to all masculine gay men as "trade," either. I feel that the show doesn't really ecompass the entire black gay experience, it's shallow. I didn't like the fact that one of the characters was having sex on the first night, I didn't like the fact that the hoe was immediately fuckin on the first episode (although that's what being a hoe is, promiscuous) I mean there are other ways to tell someone is a hoe without showing them in the act. All of the actors to me, were overacting-it was too fake, and even the guy, Wade (which is another reason, I'll give the show a chance, because he's so damn fine) who was suppose to be straight, gave me GAY when I first saw him...I rolled my eyes at that. I applaud Patrik on the show idea, his concept, getting the show on a network and being a pioneer with brining one-tenth of the black gay aspect to the TV, however it could have been a little more cliffhangers, a little less drama, a little less predictable interaction. Two: It's on a major network, are they really gonna show gay people being non-stereotypical? And are they really gonna show black gay men being non-stereotypical, especially when the DL, and being hyper masculine is now the norm? Hmmm...Will I watch it again? Yes, maybe, I'll have to write it on my calendar to remember, but I felt a bit uneasy after watching it...too STEREOTYPICAL. I was really hoping that Patrik went for the opposite and talked more about family, talked more about the taboo of being black and gay, more of watching the characters being single and then evolving into relationships, Where is the fat boy? I wanted him to talk more about being rejected, more about showing something non-stereotypical...But as much as stereotypes apart of who we are as gay people, were not. But I am gonna watch just to see if he actually talks about or combats serious issues that we face, beyond dating a guy that is on the DL or likes women...YAWN on that already. Noah's Arc, Logo at 10pm Eastern 9 Central, 7 if you got a satellite.

Well today is the 20th! Check out Shawn-TaQuan, myadultswim.blogspot.com for his new design, new post, and his new outlook on everything! AWWWW, SHAWN! I love him he's so great!

Today was a good day, me and Mother dear shared a laugh...It was real cute, don't think I didn't pull out that niggas wrap sheet on her on tha slick though. Hmmm. How about that for a reunion? Prayer, Time, and space certainly changes thinks...

Tomorrow, I'll have my week in review and a few more things!

I appreciate you all! No shade on this side of the tree!

Imma bout to go queen out and listen to Diana Ross! Peace Out Hoes!

Shout Me A Holler
Fuck A Fake Bitch!
Catch A Brick Hoes!!!

The imposter has been sentenced to 90 days in County Jail! I can't take it...

10.19.2005

I guess....

What is up with the grand entry and exits on MY blog? The last time I checked, I was the only one scheduled to do that...anyway. However you want to do it...Cause I am gonna do it like I know how. FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD. LOL. Why do people have a problem with the "F" word? Anyway...How You doin? Life is so grand...even when I was irritated and depressed, life was still fabulous! We only go through shit to make us stronger. (Language) Fred Hammond does get your mind right...

DO NOT! DO NOT! Forget to watch Noah's Ark on Logo at 7 if you have it available! Even if you don't like the show, it's about time America got a slice of Black Gay Life on their plates! Hmm...I love it. I will be there glued...damn did I pay the cable bill?

Shot Outs To: You the fabulous readers...I truly thank you and enjoy you so very much! 215, I think I am developing a small crush on you, but of course I'll never admit that to you. I thank you so much for listening to me-and understanding me off record and seeing through all of "this." I know that you know whassup cause you call me by my government name... For the record, 215 is not the kid in Philly! Only my last name is Jackson...Tara, The Blacks, Shondra (Who I adore-so much), Shawn(Your fans want autographs!), those who check in with me daily. I appreciate that so very much, thank you!!! Blair Poole (his new book is coming out in 2 weeks, check his link on the right side)

Aren't we all xcited that tomorrow is the 20th, and ShawnQt is revamping his blog? We want to know what he's been up to and we like so miss him, cause everyone is so tired of reading my blog everyday they want to see something different...I know what you all think of me, but you're still reading me aren't you? Well, unless you've made a grand exit. Why do people put themselves in predicaments for me to publicly argue with them, knowing that I am going to PUBLICLY say something if you try to front me...Stop trying to use me as a ratings magnet, I thought we were over doing that! That was so like 6 months ago with all of them like that...Keep doing what you, and I am going to keep what I am doing...Like having my universal prayer with me at noon your time...Try it. OMG...Someone queens out more than me! ICTI...(language)

Guess who spoke to me this morning? Brief cute exchange...Nothing major...

All I can say is great things are happening on my side of the universe and I am enjoying it and very much looking forward to the new, more outrageous, resilient, focused, blunt, yet mild, the one, the only-never phony TRENT JACKSON.

If you'd focus on yourself as much as you'd focus on everyone else's muthafuckin life yours would be fine...(lmao)

Prayer works! I love it! And I am still gonna be me...GOD knows my heart...Don't try to front me and say contradiction, I'm not Calvin Klien...

Shout Me A Holler
Fuck A Fake Bitch
Tell Them Nosey Hoes To Catch A Brick! (language)

Very Patra, Very Grace Jones, Pull Up To my bumper!
LIZA MINELLI. Takes one to know one

Damn I guess by friday my blog will be one word...okay I am leaving already

10.18.2005

I.C.T.I.

What? Buddah...LOL. You are so fuckin funny! FUCK YOU! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK....FUCK. Such a powerful word.

HAAAAAY. Whats really hood? Shot out to Alphonso, 215, The Blacks, Tara, Aunt Jacky, Shondra, Glad to see you ricky!

I've always been a spiritual person Jamal, I just never shared that side of me, because you know how some of the blacks are about religion and being gay. It's too much of a contradiction and too much frustration to even discuss it, I'd rather give you other reasons to hate me. But how many of yall prayed with me at high noon? Wasn't it fun. So many great things happened today, but my momma wasn't one of them. After this post, I am not talking about it anymore. I'll talk to her or she'll talk to me when she gets or when I get ready. We're both stubborn and saying "hello" or breaking the ice too quickly will re-hash any ill feelings, thoughts, or ideas we have of each other, so thank you for the advice Bobby, I appreciate it and all like that, but I know what I am doing, this isn't the first time we haven't spoken.

Prayer definitely changes things, and I can say that I called a few things into existence and they've happened literally over night...and that is only because of prayer, nothing else...

I have a few things to say:

Thank you for everything that you do.

Continue to "do you"

No one can tell you how to run your shit, because you know best...and when it all comes down to it, you know you. People will always try to throw a wrench in your shit. There is nothing worse than unsolicited advice or people looking in who think they know, but they really have no idea! It may be my diary, but it's really not.

Love who you are-wholeheartedly.

It's okay to say no.

It's okay to experience and express anger...

Always learn from the outcome of your mistakes, not the mistakes themselves.

I love you!

Is this the shortest blog I've ever done? I think I am gonna go to the club...I feel like dancing with some man.

Shout me a holler
Fuck a fake bitch
Catch a brick hoes...!

P.S. Thank You for the update Valentino...

10.17.2005

The Best Is Yet To Come...

Despite the dramatics of life, I've got a lot to be thankful for...and I am glad that I was able to go through my little snafu's. I haven't talked to my mother in 5 days. I think it may be better that way for the time being. The nigga is still walking around here like he's running shit, when he is nothing more than a liability, tax write off if anything. But every dog has it's day, so I am not too worried about it. As much as we see things when we're on the outside looking in, we can't really do anything but stand by and wait. But me being me, I'm moving on, I've got too much plotting to do to wait on someone else's downfall, I need to worry about the cushion on my own falling.

For the most part, my Janet Jacksonesuqe, Velvet Rope depression is over. I can now focus on my new books, my show and getting my personal life together...I know that I have too much potential to be wasting it on people who are obviously unhappy with their own shit and the only way they cope is to hate on me.

A few things, fuck who ever anonymous is, I can talk about my mommie issues all the fuck I want to. I suggest you take another look at the disclaimer to the bottom right of the screen, take a hint and catch a brick while you at it! I can rant and rave about whatever I want to, this is my shit. The last thing I need is another angry bitch trying to front me, fallback the time is changing! Thank you to all of those who allowed me to vent and be free and clear like my Sprint phone plan, I appreciate that...especially to my Grandma, who asked me "So are you dating..." Aunt Jacky, Tara, 215, Shondra, Shawn, Erika, Antonio, thank you for understanding ME, not some other version of me...Thank you to my readers who gave me insightful advice, and those who reevaluated their own relationships in their life, that's what were here for...to help each other.

You know, we never know how life is going to go. Things just happen, but I think that we, I, get so caught up in being human at times, just trying to solve everything ourselves, and turn to other people for help and or answers, we never look at the source of higher power in our lives. Throughout the week, I didn't even pray...not a once. I just thought I could handle it. But let me say this. GOD will bring you down to your knees to remind you, it ain't about you, it's never about you. It's about him and what he calls you to do, what he wants you to say, what your ministry or message will be.

Today I finally had the unrestricted ability to go to church...and the message, the word was so real to me. "Each and every thought has life or death attached do it." I thought about the ways I was going to kill that man. I even went to the shooting range and bought new bullets that could do the worst damage the quickest. I thought about all the ways I could get back at my mother for being so horrible and shiftless. I just knew that taking back her birthday gift of less than a month could easily go back to Zales, and I could replace my Marc Jacobs cologne and have enough left to splurge on new camera equipment or put in a quick Money Market or CD account to put out my book. But was any of that worth it? HELL NO. Fuck that Marc Jacobs cologne. Fuck that man, fuck my mom...leave them be, GOD TOLD ME. Focus on GOD and he'll take care of the rest, everything will fall into its place in its right time. That's what I learned...it was in my heart-it's not about me...

The pastor said "Every though and idea must be investigated, for the enemy comes like a flood." Was he telling a lie? Lies are sincere he added. I laughed to myself because I was just thinking what kinda lies that man was telling my mother...and how they contradict what's on his wrap sheet...LOL. Anyway, Pastor said, "Thoughts, Ideas and Suggestions...watch out for them."

In all of my wit, twisted humor, and me blurting out whatever I want...See through the fog people!

This week, I'll be finishing up 2 1/2 books and plotting...I have a lot to bring to the world! I appreciate you so very much and I thank you for being reflections of my gifts. (Who am I Erykah Badu?)

There was something else I wanted to say. OH...I am incorporating more prayer in my life...daily. You want to join me. No matter where you are, pray at 12:00 noon with me (It'll be 9 a.m. for me) if you can go for a full minute do it. Pray for yourself, pray for your family, pray for whatever issue you're having, pray for abundance of everything, pray to be in a position to help others, pray for positive and life changing friendships, pray for new relationships, pray for Whitney Houston, pray for Trent Jackson...okay let me stop being silly. But PRAY. Even thought I am crazy, I mean the ish!

Shout Me A Holler
Fuck a fake 1
Catch a brick...

P.S. Every thought and idea must be investigated!

10.13.2005

Disconnected Part 2: The Realization

My life has once again come full circle, which haphazardly is the title of my new book. It talks about breaking cycles that bind us to negativity and how we try to break them. Do we ever succeed? How do we go about breaking cycles or chains that have afflicted us for so long? It seems as if, I, the master of my universe, has let fate, if not ill bred though based decision making affect me, if not afflict me into, me into-the same problem: my relationship with my mother, the basis of all interaction.

I remember 4 years ago, I, Tarrance, not an embellished derivative of him, was happy. I was confident, I was carefree. I was who I long to be again, who I am in my natural element. Disconnected from my root-because I realize that I cant be functional from home base. It takes exploring bases 2 and 3 before you know what a home run is.

I think this is the true defining chapter of my life where I need to close and re-write a new one so I can embrace whole heartily who I really am.

People are afraid to talk about their "Mommy" problems, because in black culture it is usually our fathers that we have problems with. But I am almost certain, that if my father were alive today, I'd be different-but the fact of me almost 100% hating my mother would still be a factor in the equation of my completeness.

The most difficult part of dealing with the scene of melodramatics in my life was the most taxing because my human outlet was gone. Tuesday played such a dynamic role in my well being of my mental health. It was her support and wisdom, guidance, reassurance that I would come out the victor not only because my issues with my mother aren't fresh, but because she too had difficulty with her mother, full circle.

My mother is poison, her name should be ivy. Thinking about; reflecting on time past, spent, I recall her brainwashing me. Making me totally dependent on her; as a mother does her child accept in an ill-mannered, almost psychotic sense.

Her prose, "I didn't want you knowing them. I didn't want you to be apart of them. They've never done anything for you." She says of my fathers family.

Her abrasion, "I'm the only sane one in my family. They're crazy, I don't fuck with them neither should you." She says of her family. But if family is related, if family is a unit, what makes her exempt of the free rashness that runs rampant? Free from all of the disdainful pleasures of life? Was she not born unto the same?

Too young to know then what I was in for, I am a deer and headlights, high beams are coming towards me. I am still, frozen for another moment in time.

She tried convincing me that she worked hard and provided for me and that's all she had to do. Since no one else did it for me, I had to be subject to her verbal blades, her emotional beating. The same ones she taught me to use, she can't take, I think my wings are ready, Trent Jackson it's time to break.

Mother, no one else could describe, mother. She'll tell you different, she'll make me out to be a liar and justify her reasons for being a mother.

Malicious
Ominous
Threatening
Hateful
Envious
Revengeful

In all of my strength. In all of my insane-sane, pseudo, quasi, neurotic, eroticness. I challenge myself to think. Am I alone? Is something wrong with me? Is it my fault? Did I ask for this?

Looking out my glass house, somebody shout me a holler, tell me to fuck a fake bitch, and make this hoe catch a brick, so I can escape into sanity or a sense of it. Or am I already in it?

10.12.2005

Disconnected: U Don't Know Me (Part 1)

I think the scariest, if not the worst event that ever occurred in life was my birth. I know that I have some purpose here and I think that I am on my way, my path to defining the reason why I am here.

I think it became very relevant, clear, and real that I am disconnected. The confirmation of this feeling that I’ve always felt has come and gone, but today I’d never thought that I would feel the way that I have. Does anyone know what it’s like to have your own mother hate you? I mean hate you for things that children aren’t even hated for; well I guess they are because I am hated for them.

I remember when I was 5; my mother told me that I was a mistake. I didn’t know what that mean, but my earliest memory was being told I was a mistake. That was followed up by giving me material things, clothing, shelter, masked as being “concerned for you,” that was always followed up by you’re fat, you’re stupid, what a wonderful contradiction.

I can remember hating my mother from very early on, but at the same turn I remember always wanting my mother and missing her. I remember doing great in some of my classes at school-and her not being genuinely interested, there was always some half ass “I like it!” or “Good Job.” Thinking back today, I realized that my mother lost who she was a long time ago. And for all this time she’s been trying to make me loose myself.

The man that has been occupying space in my house called me a “Muthafuckin fag!” I said nothing. I sat my mother down and told her that I simply had enough-I had been silent and respectful long enough to this outsider and I wasn’t going to tolerate some piss colored, burnt the fuck out ass man come in my house and disrespect me. What did I say that for?

This whole can of worms opened up, about this, about how I am that. How I am the reason for all of her failed relationships, I am the reason why she has drug problem, the reason why I am stuck in my life, the reason why I can’t get a man, and what really threw me for a loop is when she said “You didn’t act like such a bitch when I have a man around you act like you want to get fucked in your ass by him! If you ever been in a relationship before then you’d know what it takes to make one work, maybe you should get a man and you’d know what to do”

Wow lady, you really don’t know me. You don’t know your own son. Something that you second-guessed on giving life to. When she said that I laughed and then I cried, because I realize there is apart of me that she’ll never know, simply because she has that bible glued under her armpit so tuff she’s gonna need some hot water and a miracle to get it a loose. Then I broke it down to her.

For the record I’ve had a few relationships. The last one didn’t work he liked drag queens, not my fault, the other one decided he wanted to get back with his babies momma, again not my fault, the one before that, lets see, I had to go identify him at the morgue with his sister…the one before that would have lasted but I had to move back to Los Angeles, to help take care of an ailing mother.

My mother has set the tone for me not to talk to her about my “life.” The environment of support has never been there for me to openly talk about my relationships or my life as a black gay man. I was always told I was going to hell for being involved with a man. She even told my aunt who will vouch for me any day that she “hates faggots,” but if you ask her…”I had a gay best friend what are you talking about?” Why do people always do that? So yeah lady there is a whole lot that you have no clue about, and ultimately you don’t know me.

I am tired. Drained. After sitting in the park crying on the phone with my grandma for an hour, joking with Tara about not wanting her to see me in such a state cause I didn’t have on any makeup, and wishing Tuesday was there to listen and understand because she was the only one that did in a time like this-I’ve come up with one conclusion: ME.

I’ve always known who I am, who I WAS, and who I will be. I am really tired of outsiders looking in, trying to tell me about me and they don’t know shit about me. I know me…and no one, not a one, from this day forward is gonna make me think I am crazy or un balanced, or say I have a negative attitude about something when you don’t know the experience or the story (logic) that comes behind my idea. To know me is to understand me…and like T.I. said, “You don’t know me.”

10.11.2005

What?

...I guess it is Tuesday already. Shot outs to Erika, The Herb, that dyke ass hating bitch Rebecca at the happy hour spot, and the lovely ever so fantastic Miss. Soul Eclectic!

Alright for Clay Cane, my hero. He is busy creating buzz with his new book, Ball Shaped World. I would hyper link and all that, but I can't on this fuckin MAC of mine. Damn the MAC!! But I am so very proud of all of the new black gay writers that are bringing their stories to the world. I just love the fact that we are such a multi-faceted group. There are so many dynamic, talented, bright, writers that are coming out with new work...it's going to be an amazing book year in 2006! And a much better touring year. I can't wait to work with some of the new authors like Clay, Blair Poole, Shelton Jackson and a few others that are on the brink of success.

So me, my cousin, and Erika do Happy Hour (Margarita Mondays) at the Cantina (But why do I get so excited when I blog though...) every week. They know us by name, and the antics we provide. A few weeks ago we had a conversation about Rebecca, the manager of the joint in her "Rosie O'donell suits, and her 'How You Doin' Shoes on," she was just a bitch to us right off the bat. Tonight we finally figured out the reason why...but a few weeks ago, Erika had to bust out the Black Amex on her ass to get her right...So tonight, we were out on the patio drinking and all like that, there were about four dudes that were already out there. They were like the poster children for margarita Mondays. They were the typical white kids that you see on the TV screen at all the football games with their stomachs painted with their team paint and blah blah blah. But they were wasted and acting retarded, and it was cool to see someone else in their inebriation for a second...Cause I got a chance to see how I look when I really look fucked up.

But the white dudes started to smoke some strong ass weed out on the patio. We didn't give a fuck, it's whatever! So the shit was strong and reeking, everyone wanted some of the weed right...Then here comes Rebecca, with her direct, but indirect notion that it was the blacks smoking the weed. Why do it always gotta be the blacks smokin' reefer? I mean, Erika is a sworn in peace officer, me, I despise the weed smoker, and my cousin is on probation, and at any given time we all have to submit to randoms...so we stick to the drank.

So not only did miss Butch Cassidy and her sunflower children come out and ask us to leave because we were smoking, by the end of the night she followed us to the car and tried to take down my license plate to report us! So the white boy, who's name was Trent (right) got loud with her and called her a dyke, which didn't help the situation-and tried to say that it wasn't us smoking the weed, and no one at the table was doing it. But Ms. Man just didn't take no for an answer, she kept going like the energizer batteries in her strap on Richard. UH. I didn't say anything, I held my tongue, can you believe it? I think it was a test from the master of the universe.

So don't think that the three of us wont be calling corporate on separate occasions tomorrow...I love it when the Trent Jackson cameras are rolling...my life makes the perfect reality show...and dont think they didn't make me brandish a weapon today.

More on that story and more tomorrow, a muthafatha is drunk! Oh and fuck you fake bitches who think you know me! Fuck what I say, meet me in person before you assume anything about me!

Shout Me A Holler
Fuck A fake Bitch
Catch a brick

You dusty hoes!

LOL...I have an attitude problem, and my disposition is fucked up too! All that and more after 10 posts
I love my readers!! (No Pun Intended)

10.10.2005

MANIC MONDAY

Whaddup Hoes?

Um I am not really feeling this new issue I am facing...I just bought this MAC computer and I am still trying to figure out how to get everything the way that I want it. For starters I am mad that my blogger dashboard doesn't look the same...hmm, can one of my genius computernistos help me the fuck out? I am so PC it's sick...but I've decided to learn some layout design and some other tools that could help me with my writing career in the long run.

So how was your weekend? My shit life is dramatic as usual. Shot Outs to: Blair and to my aunt Jacky. Happy Belated birthday to the Blax!

what's your opinion on this particular situation, my little Snafu of the week:

Mother,

You are acting real stupid right about now. I cannot believe you do this every time you meet a new “friend.” I can’t seem to understand how you say one thing and totally convey something different when that man is around. I said that I wasn’t going to say anything else to you about the matter, I refuse to sit around and watch you fall further than you already are, and it bothers me that you are harbored up with someone that you barely even know in the house for an entire week. I don’t know about you, but it is rather irritating and uncomfortable not to speak with people that you live with on a day-to-day basis, are you not aware how this is affecting our already fragile realationship? Furthermore it disgusts me how you can be so blind and oblivious to the fact that the fucker is nothing but a leech and a looser, if there is one thing that I am 100% right about, its usually about the people that you encounter. I only speak when I am correct, I am correct in this instance, just as I was correct in the instances of Vanessa, Gerald, and anyone else who I am not thinking about right now.

No one is by far jealous of your newfound friendship, in fact I am glad that you’re being social, however at what expense will you pay in the long run? How do you expect me to act when you just parade someone in the house that I haven’t even heard of until 7 days ago? For someone who prides themselves on being an excellent judge of character is doing such a horrible job at exercising those skills. Not only am I the only one that you vent to half of the time, but I am going to have to be the one to pick up the pieces when you decided that you’ve had enough of your little soiree with that man and just to let it be clear, I will be conveniently unavailable.

For you to not further investigate the fact that I have missing property in the house is a blatant slap in my face, it has been a whole entire week that an 65.00 bottle of designer cologne decided to sprout legs and disappear into the darkness. You or the presumed culprit haven’t even replaced the bottle or given me the money to go and get it myself. It is even further disrespect to me and my property not to have dealt with the issue in the timely manner, if it were your shit you would be all up in arms about it, I have been very calm, patient, and more than respectful about this particular issue, I would more than appreciate it if I could have a bottle of cologne available to me, or the money to replace it by the time I get home from work today, I think that is more than fair. I just find it odd, that bottle of men’s cologne is missing, the last time I checked you didn’t wear any men’s cologne.

I was really fine with this whole week long session of whatever it is that you’re doing, but what bothers me the most is that he is over here every night of the week. What? How would you felt if I had some nigga all up in my room or parading around the house...you would be throwin holy water all of the place and praying in tongues and things talking about how wrong it is to have a dick in my face! The nerves of the CHRISTIANS. Can I not enjoy my house? Where is his home? Have you been? Where is his family? What does he live like? Why commingle yourself with someone who cannot meet you half way or better? The only thing you are doing is setting yourself up is to be used and victimized and he has a history of domestic violence? What makes you the exception that he won’t snap on you? The question you need to ask yourself is the real reason why he’s not with his daughters and his ex-wife (you know your situation with your ex and your babies daddy, so take note...), not some sap ass, lame ass half ass story niggas like to tell you. You have a daughter, act like it, you’ve already had one scare with molestation, you don’t need another. I’ve already been molested; the least you can do is help protect your daughter so you won’t think that you’re a failed parent and it happen to her. That bothered me to, how dare you let than man sleep in the room with you and Essence? What kind of a mixed message are you sending her? You know damn well that she picks up and sees everything, the nerve of you to come down on *********, about the people he has around my sister and you’re letting her play with Lucifer as far as I am concerned. This is a messy situation with the makings of being an even uglier situation…so I advise you to take caution before I really have to get involved. Because the last thing I need to be worried about is my mother and sister safe while I am not at home. I have enough pressure on me as it is with this show, my house in escrow, to finish school and try to keep myself from going insane with things in my own life, this little snafu in the making doesnÂ’t help it any.

I don’t need to tell you that you’re entitled to your friends and what you do. But when you get other people involved indirectly then it becomes apart of my issue, especially when you live in the same house.

I would hope that you could keep this to yourself, because you talk a little too much for my own particular taste. I didn’t want him knowing anything about me and I would appreciate that you would respect my want and need for privacy, whether people think they know something or not. The last time I checked you were my mother, it is your job to protect me no matter how old I am, I don’t need anyone getting information directly from the source. I didn’t ask to be brought here, but since I am here, do a better job of giving out my information to people I’d appreciate that.

Since were on the subject of information, I am quite bothered (as if you can’t tell) by the fact that you told that man I was a writer and had a book out. You have no idea how livid that made me. How dare you? Let me tell you a few things. You have never EVER READ ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE THAT I’VE EVER WRITTEN, in fact all you've ever done is point out my grammatical errors, but yet you brag and tell all these people about the fantastic things I do. When I came home in September of 2001 from school, to bring that car back, do you know how bad my heart was broken into pieces that all of the newspapers that I mailed you were still sitting in the envelope? They had been there a cool month. To this day you still have not read them! I read them to you and even when I did that you were too preoccupied with ******* to even listen to them then. That is something that I will never let go. You will never know what a brilliant writer I truly am until you have read something that’s real and true to me. Even when Ms. Press told you in Jr. High school that I would be a writer, you didn’t believe her…that made me cry to, because that was the first time in my life that someone told me that I could do something. Up until that point, all people did was tell me how fat I was or point out something negative that I had done, including you so don’t even try and tell me different, because it’s a lie. Anyone can sit down and write a letter venting. But it takes a true writer to take his anger and frustration and turn it into something 5,000+ people that have bought my book can truly enjoy. So here is a copy of my book, so you can know who I really am finally, since you like to say “I don’t even know who you are any more,” I think that you’ve somehow lost yourself along the way and you are trying to push that off on me. When you read the book, if you read the book, brace yourself, it gets heavy.

For the record I do love you. However I hate when you’re not thinking clear and logical. I wish that you would focus on your business and moving forward, not wasting away over some dick.


Love Your Only Son,
TJ

10.07.2005

Sins & Secrets

A lot of folks fall victim to that Cinderella complex
crap.
You know-a great prince will come someday to give you
Everything you ever wanted. In reality the only thing that's
Free is problems. You have to
make opportunities not wait on them

"When the 'hood is your past, It's your present, too."


It has been a while since I've read a book that was so good I finished it in three hours. When I tell you that I put my calls on hold and sat in my cubicle clutching my artificial, knock-off diamond, rhinestone encrusted T reading cover to cover I was hooked trying to figure out what the hoes were up to next! I like books that take me in the first paragraph, the first line. Something I can relate to, something I can immediately visualize, something that is so real and fresh to me, something like déjà vu. I can't stand a book that takes forever to get into or starts off so slow you want to throw it into the nearest fire. I need drama right away and that's exactly what I got with Carolyn Chambers Sanders, Essence Best-selling debut novel, Sins & Secrets.
The opening scene is the main character's Candace who is at a party, immediately leaves this party with a man she doesn't know. Next thing you know she is in the car, on her way to the mo-mo getting what she considers the best dick down of her life! The way she wrote it, I wish that I were her getting fucked. SPICY


Her quick wits, reality based, writing, to me that read more like a page out of her own life was a hit out of the gate. Sins & Secrets tells the story of three round the way girls, Candace, Toi & Amber who form a bond in college and graduate to be some of the most successful girls around town. Their stellar looks, platinum success, street savyness and business smarts get them into a world of trouble but it also gets them far in life.


While balancing the problems of the hood in their backgrounds, some of those same problems become their foreground. While all of them are looking for a man they get more than what they bargain for and some. There is even some high fashion couture fag drama in the mix!
Somehow two of the girls settle with major league baseball players, while one of the girls manages to snag a little dick nigga and all of his ghetto bitches that go with it. When murder, lies, deception, threesomes, stalkers, drugs, beat downs, ER rooms, retaliation, infidelity, tequila shots, high society life, unlimited money and frequent flyer miles all come together you get one hell of a must read book: Sins & Secrets.


More than drama, Carolyn writes up some vicious wits and some real quotes to live your life by..."All it takes is a dream, ambition, and dedication to achieve what most might feel is unattainable," One of my many mottoes is to enjoy life while we are young. When you grow older, no one remembers what you did anyway. As long as you are not hurting anyone intentionally, and you can live with what you do, then fuck 'em, fuck 'em all!" and my personal favorite "How well do we really know people or how well do you know them when their backs up against a wall?"


If you're a fan of real reading-then this is a must read. If you're into the sap, flat lining, flowers in the field book, that's okay too, but this ain’t that! Sins & Secrets, a must read...I got in on Wednesday and didn't even have time to put it up on m reading list...
Have a great weekend...


The next time we meet, I'm sure I'll have a trick up my sleeves.
Shout Me A holler!
Fuck A Fake Bitch!
Catch a brick hoes!!

10.06.2005

OOOHHHHHHH

I C the kids were not feeling me yesterday. That's the first time in a while a bitch had no comments...blogger decided she wanted to have technicalities yesterday for a while.

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Let me ask you this, but before I ask, let me say, if you scratch a lie you smell a thief...lol.

So there was a guest of my mothers over at the house (yes hoes mother lives in the house with me) and I particularly don't care for this man either. If there is one thing I do pride myself on, it's being able to read a persons, personality the first second I meet them, and I've never been wrong...I knew he wasn't right when I met him and even my "How You Doin'" Lights went off. I told my mom he was gay, and she was like "I thought so..." this is the same woman who hates the kids, but yet she not only lives with me, but she's keeping company with the lesbians down the block, honey I am kinda starting to wonder.

Anyway, I had to let her have it the other day, I came home and this man is trying to be chatty with me about my career in writing and my book signings and things, because I had just come from a signing. Number one, I don't know you, and unless I initiate conversation, don't start talking to me, and just because you're in my house doesn't warrant you a conversation or privy into my life. I select who I talk to, and I reserve my right not to fuck with you. I don't want to look you in the eye, I don't want to say shit to you. If I am not feeling you, it's cut and dry. Got It?

Next, I had to get in my mothers shit about telling my business. Number one lady, you haven't even read my book, so don't go telling everyone what a phenomenal writer your son is and how great this book is and how many copies I've sold, because you don't know shit about it! And while were on the subject she's always one to brag but she's never read shit I wrote, so don't talk about it unless you know about it, feel me?

Then, she comes to my realm and asks me for some money...I look at her and shake her off like M dot Carey and push on. "Didn't you just of a book signing?" Yeah, I did, I got paid in full and that doesn't mean you're about to reap the benefits on my intellectual property! I mean what tha fuck? Niggas just come out of the wood works with hands out, I don't give a fuck who you are. I had to remind momma that just like she kept her hands in her pocket when I approached her on the idea to start my company I am going to keep my hands in my pocket when coins start rollin in, catch me on the rebound. I pay for more than half of the operation around here, that's enough. Call me selfish if you want to, but you're not about to spend my hard earned dollars to do God knows what with when I asked you for help you snubbed me, now you, like everyone else are biting their words...Just wait until you get a load of the next round.

So a few days ago, she comes and says, "what's that cologne you've been wearning lately?" Marc Jacobs, I respond. Can I see the bottle, I want that man to smell it. So I let her see the bottle and I went shopping, so I go to spray on my cologne for this meeting this morning and Marc is no where to be found...It's so funny, how she was on the phone with that man, and he's talking about some new fragrance he has...bitch run me a brand new bottle of Marc Jacobs to my address before you get stepped to.

So here is the plan. Trent is real tired. I think there will be a for sale sign going up on the lawn at the end of the month. I have to sever ties, my sanity is on the line again. Scratch a lie and smell a thief. I can't stand it when people are in your house that you don't care for, yuck. I keep telling the hoes, that if you are fuckin with a nigga and you can't go to his house then you shouldn't be fuckin with him. A man must be further than a woman is, period, there is no if ands or buts around it. And since I am gay, you have to be my match or better. I REFUSE to comingle with a muthafucka that aint got shit and that is use to suckin up all the resources.

I really want to start a rule book on dating for the new millennium...I do have a list though, if you don't meet my criteria, we can't even have a conversation, we have nothing to talk about. There isn't any reason why you shouldn't be able to find someone with at least half of what you have. And to clear it up, it's not about material possessions, but if the person you're dealing with has less than you, you are totally setting yourself up to be in a position on being used. POINT FUCKIN BLANK.

1. Have a high school diploma, if I got one you should have one too. Or provide some type of valid reason why you didn't go back and get it, and why should I continue talking to you. Because some of the words I use, you may not understand, and I am not a dictionary I am not gonna be webstering shit out for you.

2. Have a fuckin job. I am not about to be paying for everything, I am not a promissory note nor am I a ATM, I have habit of my own that I fund myself, fund yours and some.

3. Have a car. Gas is 3.29 for a Range Rover, and 3.05 for the Dodge Ram. Don't play.

4. What? If I can't spend the night at your house, then you can't spend the night at mine, we have nothing to talk about.

5. Have interests, BET, MTV, Blunts, Cars, etc don't count.

6. Have some type of stability with friends or family. This is the example if not the blue print that you will handle our friendship.

7. Be able to express your feelings, viewpoints, and opinions. If you can't say what's on your mind then you aren't going be able to handle me, because I am gonna say what needs to be said.

8. Have some type of decorum, humility, morality. There is nothing worse than a ghetto, materialistic, ungroomed, unethical, inconsiderate person...I roll my eyes at that, we have nothing to talk about.

9. Be goal oriented. Have a plan to do something with and in your life. Because I am doing things with mine, I don't need you on the sidelines hating! I need you on the sidelines cheering me on, what's up with making it happen together?

10. BE REAL, BE HONEST! The TRUTH HURTS. But don't get it twisted, just because it's your truth doesn't mean it's everyone else's...

What is your opinion on the matter readers?

10.05.2005

No Title...

Hmmm....I usually start my day off saying "Another day another dollar!" when I wake up in the morning. Then I usually thank God for allowing me to get up to see another day to make another dollar...but today, I am glad I was off! I've been partying like a celebrity so fuckin' much I've barley been able to catch sleep fuckin around with this 4am-1pm bullshit, just four more checks and I'll be straight...well, not really.

Shot Out To: Stone, Jamal (for acknowledging me), ShawnTaQuan, Shawn...

So while I was on the phone with Shawn yesterday morning, he said "You are the common denominator!" I was saying to myself, nigga this ain't math class, what? I was telling him a few of my unedited stories and going over some of the details of my new show and he was simply telling me that there was a reason why all of these people were responding to me the way that they do. I immediately had to let him know that they were jealous of me in some way and that they couldn't handle the things that come out of my mouth, everyone doesn't appreciate realness...or so I thought. Then I started to take into consideration what he said...what is it that I am doing that people respond to me in the way that they do...and do I really care how they are responding to me? First notion, no I don't because jealousy and hateration is a cute form of flattery, but it does get annoying after a while when people expect you to be a certain way when you're really not. Like when people meet me for the first time, they are like "Oh you're nothing like I expected, or heard about..." "Oh you don't act like you come across in your books or on your blog." I am like UUGGHHH? How the fuck am I suppose to act? Is that an insult, or should I really be proud of the fact that I am oh so misunderstood.

Is Janet Jackson pregnant? Cause she is looking like she could be sporting a baby-Dupri or some new chunky draws, I am not use to seeing Ms. Jackson-Dupri looking so thick in the face...I wanna know the deal, is she pregnant or is the bitch still swollen from her nip and tuck, Holiday girl, what’s really Hood Bitch? I mean tell me she doesn't have that pregnant, my career is half way done, stick a fork in me, I'm about to have a baby, this gives me something to do glow?

I had such a fun time sitting in the layer plotting my moves out for the course of the year. I need to hurry up and pull some financial stunts so I can go back to living my life without being bothered with the hustle and the bustle of the daylight people.

I was talking to one of my good, blogger, east coast friends, whom I can’t wait to hangout with when I descend upon JFK this fall. We were both talking about how you always connect with the people that you don’t live close to…but I was thinking maybe that’s the reason why we live so far apart, because if were in each others faces all the time then we’d probably hate each other, or be bumpin heads every 10 seconds. But he’s a nice guy though. We’re both frustrated at the homosexuals right now, so shady they are…and why people spend so much time masking who they really are…when will people learn that it’s really okay to be who you are. I mean fuck the fake shit, you might as well let people know who you are upfront so they can appreciate who you are faster…or maybe not even waste their time on fallen dreams, broken hearts and empty promises that were never meant to be in existence in the first place, hell two sick people can’t get well together.

While I am on the subject, the nigga that I was so “Stupid” over last week decided he wanted to be a hooker…300.00 an hour, I got the tip off last night, I really had to get over my emotions for that bastard, what is the world coming to? Only in my life…I am the common denominator…

And my internet is acting up at this very moment and I am so irritated…I ended the night by hanging out with my best friend, Erika, whom you’ll all meet in my show, we went and saw Roll Bounce! It was a cutesy little movie; I was excited at all of the young tenders in the movie, especially Mr. Wesley Johnathan aka, sweetness…how you doin’? And the little boy from Moesha is very much frown up now...and who is this Brandon T. Jackson boy, I'd better fall back he could be family...nevertheless they were all so skinny and thin, I was like what is that about, eat a Taco or something. But why is it everytime I see Meagan Goode she always makes me roll my eyes! Uh anyway...I have to find something productive to do today and take a power-cat nap for math 101 tonight...damn I need some dick.

Anyway!

Shout Me A Holler!
Fuck A fake Bitch!!
Catch A Brick Hoes...

Until we meet again

10.04.2005

The Brew Ha-Ha

What? Happy Octubre muthafathaz! I'm a day late and a whole lot of gossip short of luxuriating with you...I've been very Liza Minellish, I was drunk Sunday night and Margarita Monday got to me last night! I haven't been able to handle it, so the spurt is over...I am all tequilaed out. I hate the fact that I wasn't able to promptly execute my Monday thru Friday habit, indulge in Desperate Housewives, or luxuriate with my blog friends and to ice everything down I had to be up at 4:30 a.m., signed into my hot-shit corporate cubicle to be ready for ack-shun...so Hi World, How You Doin?

Shot Outs To: Herbie, Markie, Erika, 215, The Blax, Ernesto, Tina, and Jr.

So let me start by saying this blog is long, and the weekend was interesting to say the fuckin least. I swear if I queen out one more time I am gonna monkey punch the fuck outta someone and give them a hateful taze to the jugular vein!

First lets back track to Friday night. You know I am single, so there is some type of fast food and 20/20 poppin off. Did you see Miss. Fantasia on 20/20 talking about she was illiterate? I was so shocked, I had to shed a tear out of my left eye...What? Then that white girl who gave, i mean turned down the black man for weed, but she gave him ICE. Girl what is yo problem? Not only are you aiding and abetting this fucker you gave him drugs and you didn't get charges brought against you? Thats only cause she's white...I know she got dicked down with that mandingo cock too, she jus aint saying nothing about it, see. If I was her (cause if I was a girl, I'd be a hoe) I'd be done fucked him senseless, knocked his ass out and tied him up and then called the police, she better learn how to work the coochie for the good, hmm...got life twisted. Friday was cute but I think I was more stressed over the fact that I had to do a taping with Fred and Brent on the Herndon Davis show and I had to figure out what I was going to wear.

So When Saturday came I was a mess-my face! What was I gonna do about my face! These razor bumps, yuck! I was walking around looking like a troll under a bridge in Scotland or something. I am Trent Jackson, and I am very particular about my face and how I look in print or on TV, as I should be, since I am a public figure. I am extremely particular on who does my face and what goes on my face too. I didn't want to be too Diva (since I already have a reputation) and have my makeup artist on site, but I really can't help it that I have preferences and I like to come to things prepared. They might have some shit on set that wil break me out, or use dirty brushes, or they may have to keep powdering me down evey 5 seconds because their shit is wack or something...anyway, I called Fred and I asked him did he think it would be too much If I brought my team and he laughed, but duh Trent anytime you have to ask a question, it probably is too much right?

So I was going through my roster of homosexual friends that worked at MAC to see who could make me macalicious on the day of...but on the flip The Three of us decided to go to lunch (Me, Fred and Brent) anyway, traffic was a mess, and I was like 40 minutes late, so on my way into the restaurant Brent and Fred are coming out, all full and black and shit...and right behind them is Little Richard in a nasty weave, pancaked down in a purple suit and his Michael Jackson, circa 1980, glitter, I wanna Rock With You boots on! I musta looked and was like what the fuck? I had to clutch my Tiffany pendant! He event handed them copies of his new promotional Christian book or something...

So anyway highly irritated at the fact that I had to eat by myself, well not really cause I needed time to think, but I wanted to be chatty and social since I was in the mood for it...I called Tina made sure she was around the corner, I went into MAC and I walked onto the set fierce than a muthafatha.

The show was cute, we had fun, I can't wait to see the finished product and some people are just a mess...wait let me clean that up, not Fred, Brent, or Herndon.

Sunday a bitch called in sick from work cause I was tired ass hell! I was up for 17 hours on Saturday and I was like no! Can't, won't and shouldn't! So I woke up around 10 on Sunday. My good friend Ernesto came through and we rovered over to the West Hollywood Book Fair...YAWN. Then we went to apple store to purchase some equipment and to my surprise....

OMG! The Mac worker was this guy I've known since I was like 12 and he was so cute at 12 and he looked like WHOA now, I think I was getting moist or something...We've seen each other recently because we went to high school together and my former best friend played in his group after high school....but there was something interesting about the meeting...there was an xchange of numbers.

So then, wam-bam-thank you-ma'am, Sunday night me and the fam rolled out to Herbie's (my other cousin) birthday party of this yacht thingy in the Marina. Talk about the event that initiated my inebriation! All I know is I left home with 200 dollars and I came home with 210 dollars. I felt like Liza after her first fight with David Gest...a mess.

I can't wait for you to see the details of the weekend, especially since the Trent Jackson Reala-Cams were rolling....

And what did the letter from Brandon say? You gotta buy the next book for that shit NOSEY BIATCHES!!!!!!! LOL....

Shout Me A Holler!
Fuck A Fake Bitch!
Catch A Brick Hoes!