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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

10.04.2005

The Brew Ha-Ha

What? Happy Octubre muthafathaz! I'm a day late and a whole lot of gossip short of luxuriating with you...I've been very Liza Minellish, I was drunk Sunday night and Margarita Monday got to me last night! I haven't been able to handle it, so the spurt is over...I am all tequilaed out. I hate the fact that I wasn't able to promptly execute my Monday thru Friday habit, indulge in Desperate Housewives, or luxuriate with my blog friends and to ice everything down I had to be up at 4:30 a.m., signed into my hot-shit corporate cubicle to be ready for ack-shun...so Hi World, How You Doin?

Shot Outs To: Herbie, Markie, Erika, 215, The Blax, Ernesto, Tina, and Jr.

So let me start by saying this blog is long, and the weekend was interesting to say the fuckin least. I swear if I queen out one more time I am gonna monkey punch the fuck outta someone and give them a hateful taze to the jugular vein!

First lets back track to Friday night. You know I am single, so there is some type of fast food and 20/20 poppin off. Did you see Miss. Fantasia on 20/20 talking about she was illiterate? I was so shocked, I had to shed a tear out of my left eye...What? Then that white girl who gave, i mean turned down the black man for weed, but she gave him ICE. Girl what is yo problem? Not only are you aiding and abetting this fucker you gave him drugs and you didn't get charges brought against you? Thats only cause she's white...I know she got dicked down with that mandingo cock too, she jus aint saying nothing about it, see. If I was her (cause if I was a girl, I'd be a hoe) I'd be done fucked him senseless, knocked his ass out and tied him up and then called the police, she better learn how to work the coochie for the good, hmm...got life twisted. Friday was cute but I think I was more stressed over the fact that I had to do a taping with Fred and Brent on the Herndon Davis show and I had to figure out what I was going to wear.

So When Saturday came I was a mess-my face! What was I gonna do about my face! These razor bumps, yuck! I was walking around looking like a troll under a bridge in Scotland or something. I am Trent Jackson, and I am very particular about my face and how I look in print or on TV, as I should be, since I am a public figure. I am extremely particular on who does my face and what goes on my face too. I didn't want to be too Diva (since I already have a reputation) and have my makeup artist on site, but I really can't help it that I have preferences and I like to come to things prepared. They might have some shit on set that wil break me out, or use dirty brushes, or they may have to keep powdering me down evey 5 seconds because their shit is wack or something...anyway, I called Fred and I asked him did he think it would be too much If I brought my team and he laughed, but duh Trent anytime you have to ask a question, it probably is too much right?

So I was going through my roster of homosexual friends that worked at MAC to see who could make me macalicious on the day of...but on the flip The Three of us decided to go to lunch (Me, Fred and Brent) anyway, traffic was a mess, and I was like 40 minutes late, so on my way into the restaurant Brent and Fred are coming out, all full and black and shit...and right behind them is Little Richard in a nasty weave, pancaked down in a purple suit and his Michael Jackson, circa 1980, glitter, I wanna Rock With You boots on! I musta looked and was like what the fuck? I had to clutch my Tiffany pendant! He event handed them copies of his new promotional Christian book or something...

So anyway highly irritated at the fact that I had to eat by myself, well not really cause I needed time to think, but I wanted to be chatty and social since I was in the mood for it...I called Tina made sure she was around the corner, I went into MAC and I walked onto the set fierce than a muthafatha.

The show was cute, we had fun, I can't wait to see the finished product and some people are just a mess...wait let me clean that up, not Fred, Brent, or Herndon.

Sunday a bitch called in sick from work cause I was tired ass hell! I was up for 17 hours on Saturday and I was like no! Can't, won't and shouldn't! So I woke up around 10 on Sunday. My good friend Ernesto came through and we rovered over to the West Hollywood Book Fair...YAWN. Then we went to apple store to purchase some equipment and to my surprise....

OMG! The Mac worker was this guy I've known since I was like 12 and he was so cute at 12 and he looked like WHOA now, I think I was getting moist or something...We've seen each other recently because we went to high school together and my former best friend played in his group after high school....but there was something interesting about the meeting...there was an xchange of numbers.

So then, wam-bam-thank you-ma'am, Sunday night me and the fam rolled out to Herbie's (my other cousin) birthday party of this yacht thingy in the Marina. Talk about the event that initiated my inebriation! All I know is I left home with 200 dollars and I came home with 210 dollars. I felt like Liza after her first fight with David Gest...a mess.

I can't wait for you to see the details of the weekend, especially since the Trent Jackson Reala-Cams were rolling....

And what did the letter from Brandon say? You gotta buy the next book for that shit NOSEY BIATCHES!!!!!!! LOL....

Shout Me A Holler!
Fuck A Fake Bitch!
Catch A Brick Hoes!

5 comments:

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

"Shout Me A Holler!
Fuck A Fake Bitch!
Catch A Brick Hoes"

LMAOOOOOOOOOO, I love it when you do this... BWAAAAHHAHHAHHAHAAAAA

Quaheem said...

Interesting stuff...

I had to crack a laff at Little Richard...he still tryin to hold on...

Before there was Kimberly Jones there was Richard Penniman...

"Tooty Fruity/Good booty" was the original lyric...

Anonymous said...

You are the funniest nigga!
Mad love

Cash S. said...

LOL WOW. You definitely had a wild weekend.

E said...

Heh. That does sound like a full weekend.