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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

10.10.2005

MANIC MONDAY

Whaddup Hoes?

Um I am not really feeling this new issue I am facing...I just bought this MAC computer and I am still trying to figure out how to get everything the way that I want it. For starters I am mad that my blogger dashboard doesn't look the same...hmm, can one of my genius computernistos help me the fuck out? I am so PC it's sick...but I've decided to learn some layout design and some other tools that could help me with my writing career in the long run.

So how was your weekend? My shit life is dramatic as usual. Shot Outs to: Blair and to my aunt Jacky. Happy Belated birthday to the Blax!

what's your opinion on this particular situation, my little Snafu of the week:

Mother,

You are acting real stupid right about now. I cannot believe you do this every time you meet a new “friend.” I can’t seem to understand how you say one thing and totally convey something different when that man is around. I said that I wasn’t going to say anything else to you about the matter, I refuse to sit around and watch you fall further than you already are, and it bothers me that you are harbored up with someone that you barely even know in the house for an entire week. I don’t know about you, but it is rather irritating and uncomfortable not to speak with people that you live with on a day-to-day basis, are you not aware how this is affecting our already fragile realationship? Furthermore it disgusts me how you can be so blind and oblivious to the fact that the fucker is nothing but a leech and a looser, if there is one thing that I am 100% right about, its usually about the people that you encounter. I only speak when I am correct, I am correct in this instance, just as I was correct in the instances of Vanessa, Gerald, and anyone else who I am not thinking about right now.

No one is by far jealous of your newfound friendship, in fact I am glad that you’re being social, however at what expense will you pay in the long run? How do you expect me to act when you just parade someone in the house that I haven’t even heard of until 7 days ago? For someone who prides themselves on being an excellent judge of character is doing such a horrible job at exercising those skills. Not only am I the only one that you vent to half of the time, but I am going to have to be the one to pick up the pieces when you decided that you’ve had enough of your little soiree with that man and just to let it be clear, I will be conveniently unavailable.

For you to not further investigate the fact that I have missing property in the house is a blatant slap in my face, it has been a whole entire week that an 65.00 bottle of designer cologne decided to sprout legs and disappear into the darkness. You or the presumed culprit haven’t even replaced the bottle or given me the money to go and get it myself. It is even further disrespect to me and my property not to have dealt with the issue in the timely manner, if it were your shit you would be all up in arms about it, I have been very calm, patient, and more than respectful about this particular issue, I would more than appreciate it if I could have a bottle of cologne available to me, or the money to replace it by the time I get home from work today, I think that is more than fair. I just find it odd, that bottle of men’s cologne is missing, the last time I checked you didn’t wear any men’s cologne.

I was really fine with this whole week long session of whatever it is that you’re doing, but what bothers me the most is that he is over here every night of the week. What? How would you felt if I had some nigga all up in my room or parading around the house...you would be throwin holy water all of the place and praying in tongues and things talking about how wrong it is to have a dick in my face! The nerves of the CHRISTIANS. Can I not enjoy my house? Where is his home? Have you been? Where is his family? What does he live like? Why commingle yourself with someone who cannot meet you half way or better? The only thing you are doing is setting yourself up is to be used and victimized and he has a history of domestic violence? What makes you the exception that he won’t snap on you? The question you need to ask yourself is the real reason why he’s not with his daughters and his ex-wife (you know your situation with your ex and your babies daddy, so take note...), not some sap ass, lame ass half ass story niggas like to tell you. You have a daughter, act like it, you’ve already had one scare with molestation, you don’t need another. I’ve already been molested; the least you can do is help protect your daughter so you won’t think that you’re a failed parent and it happen to her. That bothered me to, how dare you let than man sleep in the room with you and Essence? What kind of a mixed message are you sending her? You know damn well that she picks up and sees everything, the nerve of you to come down on *********, about the people he has around my sister and you’re letting her play with Lucifer as far as I am concerned. This is a messy situation with the makings of being an even uglier situation…so I advise you to take caution before I really have to get involved. Because the last thing I need to be worried about is my mother and sister safe while I am not at home. I have enough pressure on me as it is with this show, my house in escrow, to finish school and try to keep myself from going insane with things in my own life, this little snafu in the making doesnÂ’t help it any.

I don’t need to tell you that you’re entitled to your friends and what you do. But when you get other people involved indirectly then it becomes apart of my issue, especially when you live in the same house.

I would hope that you could keep this to yourself, because you talk a little too much for my own particular taste. I didn’t want him knowing anything about me and I would appreciate that you would respect my want and need for privacy, whether people think they know something or not. The last time I checked you were my mother, it is your job to protect me no matter how old I am, I don’t need anyone getting information directly from the source. I didn’t ask to be brought here, but since I am here, do a better job of giving out my information to people I’d appreciate that.

Since were on the subject of information, I am quite bothered (as if you can’t tell) by the fact that you told that man I was a writer and had a book out. You have no idea how livid that made me. How dare you? Let me tell you a few things. You have never EVER READ ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE THAT I’VE EVER WRITTEN, in fact all you've ever done is point out my grammatical errors, but yet you brag and tell all these people about the fantastic things I do. When I came home in September of 2001 from school, to bring that car back, do you know how bad my heart was broken into pieces that all of the newspapers that I mailed you were still sitting in the envelope? They had been there a cool month. To this day you still have not read them! I read them to you and even when I did that you were too preoccupied with ******* to even listen to them then. That is something that I will never let go. You will never know what a brilliant writer I truly am until you have read something that’s real and true to me. Even when Ms. Press told you in Jr. High school that I would be a writer, you didn’t believe her…that made me cry to, because that was the first time in my life that someone told me that I could do something. Up until that point, all people did was tell me how fat I was or point out something negative that I had done, including you so don’t even try and tell me different, because it’s a lie. Anyone can sit down and write a letter venting. But it takes a true writer to take his anger and frustration and turn it into something 5,000+ people that have bought my book can truly enjoy. So here is a copy of my book, so you can know who I really am finally, since you like to say “I don’t even know who you are any more,” I think that you’ve somehow lost yourself along the way and you are trying to push that off on me. When you read the book, if you read the book, brace yourself, it gets heavy.

For the record I do love you. However I hate when you’re not thinking clear and logical. I wish that you would focus on your business and moving forward, not wasting away over some dick.


Love Your Only Son,
TJ

3 comments:

rob said...

Can U say drama? After reading alot of your post, I must say that you are an interesting person with many layers. However, I think you have an attitude problem. Realize that in order to be successful you must be able to coexist with people you may not care for. It's called prfessionalism. On another note, I do understand your frustrations with your mother to a certain point, however, from your own admission you were rude to this man before even getting to know anything about him. Seriously, after reading about 10 of your post, you really come off with a very nasty disposition. I truely hope for your sake that you fix that because you will have problem in your career eventually. You will not get to the next level with that attitude. Just so you know, I am in know way jealous of you and applaud you on your accomplishments. I am about to graduate from medical school (MD baby) and I know alot about sacrifice. Keep you head up.

Anonymous said...

say what you feel. hell if you keep shit in its only going to stress you out more. much love baby!!! tlc

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

Damn... I'm not even trippin off that coz it's from your heart, and you addressed valid issues. She really needs to check herself on having Dude up in your home; it's a room-mate situation! Have some damn respect! And omGGG... havin him around your lil sis is nottttttttt cool at all. Smdh...

Trent, you're saying what needs to be said and I hope this REALITY CHECK opens her eyes... The TRUTH hurts sometimes!!!

Keep Ya Head Up, love ya blog!