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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

10.06.2005

OOOHHHHHHH

I C the kids were not feeling me yesterday. That's the first time in a while a bitch had no comments...blogger decided she wanted to have technicalities yesterday for a while.

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Let me ask you this, but before I ask, let me say, if you scratch a lie you smell a thief...lol.

So there was a guest of my mothers over at the house (yes hoes mother lives in the house with me) and I particularly don't care for this man either. If there is one thing I do pride myself on, it's being able to read a persons, personality the first second I meet them, and I've never been wrong...I knew he wasn't right when I met him and even my "How You Doin'" Lights went off. I told my mom he was gay, and she was like "I thought so..." this is the same woman who hates the kids, but yet she not only lives with me, but she's keeping company with the lesbians down the block, honey I am kinda starting to wonder.

Anyway, I had to let her have it the other day, I came home and this man is trying to be chatty with me about my career in writing and my book signings and things, because I had just come from a signing. Number one, I don't know you, and unless I initiate conversation, don't start talking to me, and just because you're in my house doesn't warrant you a conversation or privy into my life. I select who I talk to, and I reserve my right not to fuck with you. I don't want to look you in the eye, I don't want to say shit to you. If I am not feeling you, it's cut and dry. Got It?

Next, I had to get in my mothers shit about telling my business. Number one lady, you haven't even read my book, so don't go telling everyone what a phenomenal writer your son is and how great this book is and how many copies I've sold, because you don't know shit about it! And while were on the subject she's always one to brag but she's never read shit I wrote, so don't talk about it unless you know about it, feel me?

Then, she comes to my realm and asks me for some money...I look at her and shake her off like M dot Carey and push on. "Didn't you just of a book signing?" Yeah, I did, I got paid in full and that doesn't mean you're about to reap the benefits on my intellectual property! I mean what tha fuck? Niggas just come out of the wood works with hands out, I don't give a fuck who you are. I had to remind momma that just like she kept her hands in her pocket when I approached her on the idea to start my company I am going to keep my hands in my pocket when coins start rollin in, catch me on the rebound. I pay for more than half of the operation around here, that's enough. Call me selfish if you want to, but you're not about to spend my hard earned dollars to do God knows what with when I asked you for help you snubbed me, now you, like everyone else are biting their words...Just wait until you get a load of the next round.

So a few days ago, she comes and says, "what's that cologne you've been wearning lately?" Marc Jacobs, I respond. Can I see the bottle, I want that man to smell it. So I let her see the bottle and I went shopping, so I go to spray on my cologne for this meeting this morning and Marc is no where to be found...It's so funny, how she was on the phone with that man, and he's talking about some new fragrance he has...bitch run me a brand new bottle of Marc Jacobs to my address before you get stepped to.

So here is the plan. Trent is real tired. I think there will be a for sale sign going up on the lawn at the end of the month. I have to sever ties, my sanity is on the line again. Scratch a lie and smell a thief. I can't stand it when people are in your house that you don't care for, yuck. I keep telling the hoes, that if you are fuckin with a nigga and you can't go to his house then you shouldn't be fuckin with him. A man must be further than a woman is, period, there is no if ands or buts around it. And since I am gay, you have to be my match or better. I REFUSE to comingle with a muthafucka that aint got shit and that is use to suckin up all the resources.

I really want to start a rule book on dating for the new millennium...I do have a list though, if you don't meet my criteria, we can't even have a conversation, we have nothing to talk about. There isn't any reason why you shouldn't be able to find someone with at least half of what you have. And to clear it up, it's not about material possessions, but if the person you're dealing with has less than you, you are totally setting yourself up to be in a position on being used. POINT FUCKIN BLANK.

1. Have a high school diploma, if I got one you should have one too. Or provide some type of valid reason why you didn't go back and get it, and why should I continue talking to you. Because some of the words I use, you may not understand, and I am not a dictionary I am not gonna be webstering shit out for you.

2. Have a fuckin job. I am not about to be paying for everything, I am not a promissory note nor am I a ATM, I have habit of my own that I fund myself, fund yours and some.

3. Have a car. Gas is 3.29 for a Range Rover, and 3.05 for the Dodge Ram. Don't play.

4. What? If I can't spend the night at your house, then you can't spend the night at mine, we have nothing to talk about.

5. Have interests, BET, MTV, Blunts, Cars, etc don't count.

6. Have some type of stability with friends or family. This is the example if not the blue print that you will handle our friendship.

7. Be able to express your feelings, viewpoints, and opinions. If you can't say what's on your mind then you aren't going be able to handle me, because I am gonna say what needs to be said.

8. Have some type of decorum, humility, morality. There is nothing worse than a ghetto, materialistic, ungroomed, unethical, inconsiderate person...I roll my eyes at that, we have nothing to talk about.

9. Be goal oriented. Have a plan to do something with and in your life. Because I am doing things with mine, I don't need you on the sidelines hating! I need you on the sidelines cheering me on, what's up with making it happen together?

10. BE REAL, BE HONEST! The TRUTH HURTS. But don't get it twisted, just because it's your truth doesn't mean it's everyone else's...

What is your opinion on the matter readers?

4 comments:

Marz said...

He needs to get the Timberland up his ass, and through his brains.

LMAO at your list.

Why isn't single at the top?

Who wants some dude the whole city had and still has?

-Marz

Cash S. said...

LOL, I'm feeling your list. Are they in any particular order of importance?

Reddy said...

Actually your list is pretty much straightforward and something that you'd think most people would aim for, but dont for some odd reason. Only thang for me is that the higher I go with education, job, sallary, ect the harder time I have finding someone to date with those same sets..

E said...

That's a good list. I feel you reddy. A lot of us have those goals in a partner but sometimes settle for the wrong ones. Why?