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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

1.31.2006

MEMORY IN PICTURES: CORETTA SCOTT KING




Behind every STRONG man, there is no doubt a STRONG WOMAN.
Who holds it together. Who spearheads the movement.
Her Strength, grace, courage, wisdom, steadfastness
was a prelude to come.

Women of her time were build, made
to last, to endure, to press, in spite of.
She lived in a time where hoses and dogs
turned against her likeness, common.

She faught so that I, you, we, them
could sit here and be lackadaisical and complain
So we may never have felt injustice the way SHE did.

We honor her memory,
we honor her courage,
her strength to stand,
to dare,
to be, different, to be "free."

IN MEMORY OF CORETTA SCOTT KING
1927-2006

::What If::

Ray J didn't butcher that One Wish song live? I mean I was watching this new channel on DirecTv called CD USA and he was on there singing that song and murdered it like a chinchilla being readied for Whitney Houstons mangy ass fur to match that screwed up mangy wig she wears! OMG! I was like he should have just been Brandy's lil' brother and been cute and took pictures. I mean Solange (Beyonce's sister) does it and the most famous untalented sibling, my personal favorite, La Toya Jackson does it too! I mean just be fabulous and live and not say anything, you're not ever going to be like your famous siblings, unless of course you're Janet, so just get taken care of or be normal like the rest of the world and move it along, I mean what?

Make sure you visit Derricks Blog sometime today...he has a nice Twist for you...

Shot Out To: The inFaMuzz A.Davis. That was real hot like! Thank you for all that like that. Marz, did you get that? Okay...alright!

But...on the real note. What if I were you and you were me? I've been thinking...my introspective self, what if? I'm human...it's what we do...we question, we second guess...

I often think what would my life be like if I wasn't quasi-famous...would you even take a second look at me if I wasn't Trent Jackson? Would you be interested in me if I wasn't funny? Would you talk to me if you hadn't heard about what I did? What if I was just me. Tarrance. Unmasked, naked, in all of my complexities, all of my insecurities..."When you look at me, do you want me? Just for what you see? Do you think I'm really the person that you read about on this blog? There's another side, that I don't hide....but may never show?"

I've been examining my interaction with people...and I wonder, would this person even deal with me if "Trent Jackson" didn't exist. It kinda fucks with your head after a while because you have to constantly question the motives of people.

I pride myself on being a good judge of character and I am always right on the money...but what if someone didn't have that keen sense, that quality that allowed them to see someone for exactly who they were? I feel bad for them...What do you when you encounter someone who is in the direct line of fire? Who am I to warn them to move, what do I say, what do I do-so I won't come off sounding jealous, insane, psychotic or paranoid? Do I sit back and watch them get hit and help them pick up the pieces of their being up after the attack or do I forewarn them or do I say nothing at all?

What does all of this mean? Am I making sense today?

After a brief conversation with someone dear to me, on this topic and interaction with people in general he told me "Let them be. They will see it, right before it's time and hopefully before its too late."

I've learned that people can run you extremely low, especially your family. It takes a special person with thick skin to bounce back from the effects of being hurt, being inflicted by jealousy, back biting, envy...the affects of people.

The humanitarian in me wants to save the world. I'm on this crusade to care for those who are genuine. Those who are inflicted. Those who have been down that can't get up...cause I've been there, I know what it's about...but how do you reach someone who you can't touch?

I've chosen to say nothing...But my thoughts won't let him get in a rut he cant fix. The mind is powerful...It can do a lot with focus and concentration.

Tomorrow my treat to you. If you're at work bring your headphones...

1.30.2006

Now That I Have Your Attention....

"Jesus was Black, Ronald Reagan was the devil and the Government lied about 9/11"

I am a hot ass mess! I got up out of my bed at 11 last night and went on a binge out of this world! I mean, something came over me. I was acting really erractic. Maybe cause I didn't go out the house all day. But I started my truck drove to the ghetto market and bought one of those molten cakes, bryers ice cream and some cool whip! I was all extra loud and excited...I felt paranoid cause I didn't have my weapon on me...everyone was looking at me all weird and shit cause I had on a orange pull over, my infamous shades, a trucker cap, some nasty sweats and some orange and brown addidas...then I pull out my Luis and I felt powerful buying all of that junk at 11 pm with my fat ass...I calmed down when I got back home...don't thank I didn't eat it either...

The Boondocks was a mess, as usual...but a good one...and Desperate Housewives...I am going to need them not to give me a repeat! HELLO HELLO! "How You Doin'?" Of course I have to try to mix up the variation on my blog! I mean what? I have to give you a better idea of what I am talking about when I am talking or typing and all like that...

Shot Out To: Derrick Briggs. Thank you for such an entertaining interview! I am so glad that you were ready for your closeup. You have truly set the tone from here on out...! Save the date! Wasn't that a hot interview? Shot out to, My Omar! Welcome to the blogohood. Watchout! You know how the kids are...and speaking o
f how messy the kids are, let me get on my continual soapbox of delirium...Second thought, I won't say anything. I've given enough fair warning. I'll just speak my piece on my new segment...Valentino! I miss you!! Don't stay away too long...The Blacks! How You doin'? Bobby Brown...mmhmmm don't be catty!

So how are we liking the new things in 2006? First Audio...next video. I really do need your feedback. I want to give you the best entertainment and conversation, but I know some of yall have A.D.D. and can't sit still for 30 seconds let alone 45 minutes...But I think it was a quick 45 minutes...so let me know about the timing and things like that...But I'll bet you money that these hoes will be trying to do audio interviews like Trent!! But just remember who did it first and who did it the best...But truly I thank all of the 800 readers, now listeners that heard the interview. I had so much fun doing it...and I can't wait to do my new segments on the blog, I'm sure you'll enjoy them.

My weekend was boring. I was my cute, regular boring self. Trying to find motivation to peck out this new material and see about these travel arrangements for the next month...hmm, I might be at a villa near you...incognegro

However I did link up with my family. This is a very interesting month. You know death is something that is etched in your mind forever... This past weekend was the 10 year anniversary of my Grandmothers death.

January 29, 1996 is a day that has shaped my life, my experience and my mind forever...So I was low key...I kept my grandmothers memory alive by keeping her lessons in my heart forever. You know, I believe that people stay alive through you. Our love ones may not be here physically but their lessons live with us forever. As long as we keep them in our hearts they're always here. I went to the cemetery because I am usually the only one that goes....

I placed a flower with care.
Silence.
I thought about the times,
she stopped my mom from yelling at me.
I thought about how she walked me to
kinny garden, first grade...and I was on my own after that!
LOL...
Thinking about how you helped me with my division...
You taught me how to cook eggs, the first thing I ever cooked...
Then you taught me how to bake...
You never raised your voice.
You taught me how to be strong through silence.

Resilient you were.
You dealt with him beating you,
had 9 of his babies...
made the best of it all,
without asking for much.

And after all of that...love.
You went out with a bullet.
Cold.
Stopped.
My eyes closed.
My fists clenched.
I looked to the gray morning sky...
for answers, why.
I felt comfort,
your love and understanding in my heart.

I thought about how you were particular on being clean.
So I cleared your stone of stain, blood.
I sprinkled petals.
Red for your love.
White for your silence.
Pink for the lady in you.
I cried more than I usually do.
I smiled...
"I love you Grandma"

1.27.2006

FRIDAY FINALE WITH: DERRICK L. BRIGGS!


You know up until about 2 weeks ago I couldn't stand Derrick Briggs! Maybe because he's hot and he comes of very ultra exclusive and shadey (we've seen his pictures on all those damn blogger websites) I was like whatever on that girl! But I had to admit that he was hot...and Trent likes to give credit were credit is due. After a cute, warm email exchange, a 2 hour phone chat which was an introduction to the intricate but simple kid with a heart of gold, dreams of many, roaming the means streets of NYC, I was in awe of Derrick Lewis Briggs!!!

You'll learn so much about him in this 45 minute chat! Yes 45 minutes! Sit back and enjoy the first ever AUDIO INTERVIEW ON IN THE MIX WITH TRENT!


1.23.2006

Sad But Touching

Some of these girls are so late, they better pay it...they run me so low.
Hello, Hello, Hello! The Blacks!

Hope you had a wonderful, great, fantabulous weekend and all like that! And I am glad that you guys were able to thoroughly luxuriate in my interviews...!

Shot Outz To: Anton! Nice speaking with you on Friday!! I'm glad you shared that info with me, I really appreciated. Even when I don't feel like anyone is listening, or I am not being received, you're always their to remind me. I'm glad to know that I play that part... Derrick Briggs, how you doin? I'm glad that you were finally able to stroll down the block in your wife beater so the kids can gag over that hot mug of yours....are you really ready for a closeup? You know I love facials right? Big ups to Mashaun, cute hanging out with the kids in L.A. over the weekend and Jamal's messy ass...hmm. I've got just the remedy for him...other than that it was cute though.

I missed Desperate Housewives last night cause I was out at the infamous Abbey (the spot I got asked to leave from) with Mashaun who missed his flight fuckin' around with Miss. American Airlines. I also ran into the oh so sexy Tashaun (did I spell that right?) while I was there, "How you doin?" Tashaun is such a nice man! You have to meet him when you come to L.A. find him, no please don't...but he's great. I love The Abbey cause you never know who you're going to run into...

The weekend was great. I threw my brother a birthday party at the Marina International Hotel it was cute, he turned 20. Saturday I stayed in doors to avoid the popparazzi, the sun, shade, sabotage and trickery of the blacks, the queens, the naysayers and all of them like that. And you know I was out with Madosi last night...OMG I have to publically apologize to Mashaun, it took me three hours to get him from the airport, when I only live 15 minutes away! I'm sorry, I have a valid excuse. I was getting ready...and Mashaun I don't appreciate you make me work the treadmill extra hard this morning!!! MESS! But thank you for that slice of cheesecake, a lil' rich but it was good!

So I finally figured it out!!! Everyone is a messy bitch!! I am so on the brink of calling out people I really cant stand. I wish you raggedy ballheaded, hairy legged, buck mouth, faggy ass, imposter ass bitches would stop talking about me! BLAHHHH GIRL. We know I am fat, we know I am gay, we know I don't feel like correcting my grammar, give me something new, girl. I mean hello, stop recycling everyone else's material and scout your own! Be original for once in your life...especially if you're gonna try to come for me. LOL. You can't ever say I'm ugly, stupid, non-talented, conceited, I don't have low self-esteem for the record, I don't hate myself you girls kill me with your antics! And stop worrying about who my celebrity friends are...I see your emails, I hear the conversations. Find something else to do. What? As a matter of fact, keep talking about me, you're only making me more popular...running me low, but making me popular.

But there are nice people left in the world, so don't be too discouraged. Maybe I am naive but I guess people just aren't nice like me anymore...but I'll keep continuing to be nice, maybe my niceness will rub off on them one day.



Boys are so stupid!!! They want you to give them undivided attention all the time, but when you want to talk to them about important shit they want to sing Mary J. Blige songs or talk about their stupid dates with fat boys who don't want to put their legs in the air when you are trying to fuck them, cause their stomach is going to hurt or whatever. And then they want to get all offended when you call them out. Can I roll my eyes yet? Then they go on and on about all the dudes that want to fuck them and all like that...gosh I feel like hanging up the phone on silly boys. I don't care to know who you're fucking or who wants to fuck you. I mean yeah so what you're cute and you have a cute job or whatever, so what your dick is large, what else is there in the world besides going to work and fucking? When you find out let me know, cause I know I've read the memo. No shade on this side of the tree, but what? BLAH.

So why am I in love with my ex boyfriend all over again? Maybe because he doesn't act like most stupid boys? But there was a reason why we stopped talking in the first damn place...I guess...Why does Trent Jackson's life has to be so fuckin complex? Can't I just find a normal GAY guy? Not some idiot who is pretending to like boys for the convenience factor or one who can't deal with his faggotry and admit that he's into men only...or has to cover up his sexual identity by fucking with pussy. Let me go write a new story or something. I am irritated. I guess...I can't wait until kickboxing starts for real...But I am in love with who he is as a person. The way I feel when I am with him, the way he allows me to be who I am and he doesn't try and change that. He makes me laugh, he values my opinions...I knew that there would be a point in time when we would get it back, I wonder if that moment is now?

So can I be the first to say that I am so excited about my birthday coming up? I need to start planning my party and things...hmm. Maybe I should have a contest on my blog and fly one of you lucky winners to hangout with Trent Jackson at his party...thought.

So while I am sitting in my realm out witting myself...let me see what kind of tricks I have up my sleeves for the kids this week...

I love you so very much...And I am grateful for erry moment in the Blogorealm.

-T

1.20.2006

Young, Hung & Full Of Cum! Trent's Friday Finale With: Charles X

Um...These kids born in the late 80's that knew nothing about Cross Colours, Kriss Kross, African Medallions, MC Hammer, etc are a mess! If you had to watch We Are The 80's on VH1 to know what I am talking about, yes I am talking to you!

Charles X is a combination...or the potential combination of myself and Clay Cane...whom he is greatly infatuated with. Charles is a smart kid with tons of attitude, brillance, smarts and wit that could easily, hands down, run circles around most 18 year olds and some of the adults I know...He's definitely on my to do list, as well as to watch out for list! This muthafatha brings the heat!! He met up with me in a dark alley last weekend and he tried to let me have it...but who am I? I'M TRENT JACKSON BIAATTCCHHH!

********
Trent: When did you know you were gay?

Charles X: you want the long or short version?

Trent: Thee appropriate answer will do...

Charles X: It's really the typical response. When I was about ten or eleven. I was still fighting to like girls and praying to God to change me, so I would try to fantasize about girls. But then boys kept popping into those fantasies. I knew I was gay, but I was in denial and still termed myself as straight.

Trent: So are you comfortable with your sexuality?

Charles X: Very. I'm gay and I love it!

Trent: Does your momma know?

Charles X: Yes, she does.

Trent: How does she feel about that?

Charles X: She is still working on her denial and it's been a year and a month since she officially found out. I know she prays to God that I'll change. She still loves me and our relationship is beautiful, but she isn't elated that I like boys.

Trent: and speaking of boys, which I'll get to later. You've talked about your issues with dating outside the black circle....tell me some more about that…

Charles X: Oh LAWD! You wanna go there. I love every race, and I think it's a shame to only date within your race as a rule. By the same token, it's a shame to only date outside of your race. Everyone deserves a chance. However, I have had consistently unpleasant experiences (emotional and physical) with black boys. And many positive with white and Hispanic boys.

Trent: when you say unpleasant, what do you mean by that-beyond emotional and physical. Have they hit you? I mean using you for sex only? Verbally abusive...

Charles X: No, I've hardly connected with anyone like that. Never had a boyfriend. No one has hit me...hell no! These niggas aint that crazy. No abuse. OK let me break it down. Back in my wilder days, me and this boy were messin around at this party and he kept answerin the damn phone! So when it came time for it to be my turn, I got on the phone and left him high and dry! And my last experience is a long story but it resulted in him trying to rape me.

Trent: Mess! Wilder days, you're only 18? I would hate to have to imagine what you mean by "wilder" I find that word to be used by people who are "finding" themselves.

Charles X: Finding themselves how? As in they are confused sexually?

Trent: No....being who they want to be, who they are trying to become...evolution in a sense. People sometimes use sex as an outlet to create and or test their limits, no?

Charles X: Yeah you're right, but that's not how I see sex. I used to just mess around here and there and feel guilty about it afterward. Because I knew and still know that casual sex is not for me right now. If there are no kind of feelings there, I can't really feel right doin it. So, basically, no, sex is not how I evolve.

Trent: I wasn't saying you per se. I was just saying...I'm not saying, I'm just saying. Okay, so casual sex isn't for you, you don't have a boyfriend, never had one, do you want one? Are you dating?

Charles X: Sometimes I'm welcome to the idea of having a boyfriend. Especially when I see all of my best friends all lovey dovey and vomit-inducing in love. However, I've always liked my independence and freedom, so it'd be a huge adjustment.

Trent: YES! I did want to commend you on your style, your presentation, your everything. You're so interesting to watch. Read, whatever I am doing...

Charles X: LOL! Well, thank you.

Trent: And to be so mature, witty, young, fresh and vibrant is so cute! Keep that attitude; don't become dry and sour like some of your other Negro homosexual counterparts. Do you! Fuck what everyone else thinks...you know God hates fags, right?

Charles X: Ha-ha God Hates Fags is the name of one of my posts. I'm assuming that wasn't coincidental. Um, I don't think God really hates fags.

Trent: I know. It was one of my favorite posts actually

Charles X: My best writing comes out of passion or anger.

Trent: I threw that in there just to let you know I know what’s going on in your world. So how did u get started in blogging? (mine does too)

Charles X: On a snow day my freshman year of high school, my friend Renea made me a xanga. I seldom used it until my senior year. It was a hot blog last summer, but I've phased it out. I started on blogger.com after reading Clay Cane and your blogs one night when I was supposed to be studying.

Trent: What on Gods terrestrial ball is a XANGA?

Charles X: You never heard of xanga? It's like blogger but mostly young ass white kids use it. It used to have a reputation for being very emo-let-me-slit-my-wrists, but that has changed. Now I'm just too old for it.

Trent: Wait. That was too many things. One I'm not white so no, I am not familiar with nobody’s XANGA (Jenga) okay? And 2 Suicide…We’ve all been there...what made you want to end your life

Charles X: LMAO! Boy... I have never wanted to end my life. You totally misunderstood me. Xanga had a reputation for being a haven for suicidal white 12 year olds, but that changed at the time I used it.

Trent: Well thank you for clarifying that.

Charles X: I love my life too much to want to end it

Trent: Don't do me. So wait…Snow day? Don't you live in Texas?

Charles X: Yes. In Texas a little bit of ice will shut down a whole city. Texas cannot handle winter!

Trent: I guess. Are you originally from Texas?

Charles X: Yes, sir. Yee haw.

Trent: What’s your sign?

Charles X: Cancer

Trent:LAWD!!! How tall are you

Charles X: 5' 7

Trent: I knew you were short. You look short. Short Boys have big dicks, thick ones! Is that still true?

Charles X: LOL! Wow. I don't want to discuss my dick in this public venue.

Trent: Oh please! So what's your major in school?

Charles X: Radio-Television-Film

Trent: Hot and what is your ultimate goal

Charles X: My ultimate goal is to be a successful and powerful force in the realm of film and television. I want to make entertainment that enlightens- that makes people cry, laugh, think. I really want to work on a TV show.

Trent: Well you know were in production for my TV show! Somebody Else’s Life...

Charles X: Is that the name? You've been so secretive about that show.

Trent: Yeah that is the name; I've been secretive about my relationship, my drug addiction and a slew of other things too!

Charles X: Is it a reality show? I'd work on a reality show, if it weren’t utter nonsense. What are you addicted to, Trent? Dick?

Trent: It is a reality show...I will disclose all of that soon enough. And I haven’t had sex in a while. And aren't all reality shows utter nonsense? Hello, Reality!

Charles X: Not all, no. Breaking Bonaduce had some value. Certain episodes of shows like Wife Swap can be moving, although most of them are just for mindless entertainment. Don't get me wrong, I love me some stupid TV! But I don't want to be the one puttin' it out there. Now let me turn the tables around for a minute and ask you a question. What's the point of presenting yourself as an open vessel on your blog, only to keep secrets?

Trent: Well I think anyone who really reads my blog knows that I am open to extent. There are so many things that are vague and left up to interpretation, you never really know. I mean if I told you everything there would be nothing else to talk about! It keeps people interested...and that was your one question. No more.

Charles X: Bitch! Do not limit me like that

Trent: And who tells all their business anyway? I am not a sympathy case. And watch yourself. LOL.

Charles X: LOL booooooooyeeeee

Trent: What’s your five-year plan?

Charles X: Spend another semester or two in Texas, where I'll gain experience working on my college TV show. Hopefully I'll win some awards for that. Then transfer to a school in New York City where I'll finish school. I'll alternate summers between working for the Defense Logistics Agency (branch of govt in DC) and doing extra classes overseas. Then perhaps a year of film school in LA. That would be five years.

Trent: hot. What advice do you give to anyone who wants to be fucked in the ass?

Charles X: LOL I love how you come out of left field with that. I'm a virgin, but I can pass on secondhand info. USE A CONDOM! Ease into it first with some fingering and maybe some kind of toys. I don't know! Um... Use lots of lube... Push out like you're tryin to take a shit (but do not shit on his dick! LMAO!) Um....and enjoy the prostate massage!

Trent: I also noticed that we have some of the same musical tastes and I love how I get random comments with you saying the words to songs that are on my weekly play list!

Charles X: Oh yes, I always love most of the selections on your weekly play list. Songs that most people don't even know or will never know. I wanted to put up a play list, but I don't wanna hear you callin' me out talkin bout I'm tryna be you n shit!

Trent: well, I give you permission to do that. I just like to get credit when it’s due. I hate when I am blogging and Jamal Franklin puts up a play list, or the week after I change my template people put up ugly ones and I am like, hello queens, you can't be me! There is only one Trent Jackson! I get tired of people nay saying and trying read me for dumb shit but you turn around and they are trying to be like you. Like when white people go get lip, titty, and booty implants. I guess that’s what happens when you're an innovator and not a duplicator. I guess...

Charles X: You have beef with Jamal?

Trent: in my head I do

Charles X: You are quite a different character, but I hardly would call a layout or a play list an innovation.

Trent: Who don't I have beef with? At the end of the day I know the truth. I know what I said, I know what I've done...and by knowing that, I'm able to sleep at night. LMAO. I put a certain twist on things, originality. They try to copy my innovations, my ideas...so my wording was correct thank you.

Charles X: I think that you like to start shit, Trent!

Trent: I think you’re incorrect. I think it is what it is.

Chales X: Do not brush me away with ebonic jargon.

Trent: Well isn't it? Let me be corporate. I speak the truth. The truth is I heavily influence other bloggers; whether I inspire them, they copy me or whatever. I've done a lot of things FIRST, that’s all I am saying. I'm not saying it to be arrogant or anything like that and I said one question, you've gotten three.

Charles X: Like I said, don't limit me! I have spiced this interview up considerably. And I only asked two questions. Any-muh-fuckin-ways, you were part of my inspiration to start my blog. One night I read Clay's blog from the first post to the last. Then I read a lot of yours. You had way too many archives for me to get through it all, but I was intrigued indeed. You bring the drama and that's what people like to see.

Trent: I know what people want. And just on name alone, the Trent Jackson brand they will continue to read my blog and my interviews no matter who the subject is...you've been blogging for three months. You're smart, engaging and all like that. You have a nice litter, I have a strong following. Remember that. Check around people know where to come when they want their stock to rise...and I bring more than drama.

Charles X: Bitch you tryna make me take out my claws! LOL! And yeah you do bring more than drama.

Trent: Well Charles you attempted to insult me by calling me boring in a seven-word sentence construction! But beyond that, I can hang with you! Our bitchyness and our wit can only go so far individually. But there is no shade on this side of the tree. The reason why I love you so much is because you remind me so much of myself when I was 18. I wouldn't fuck with you if you weren't about anything. And about me being drama or whatever you call it you still read my blog along with a bunch of other punks who call me names! Not calling you a punk, I'm just saying.

Charles X: Yes I read your blog on the daily! But to say I don't believe you like to have drama because it helps your blog thrive would be a lie. Don't get me wrong. I love the blog and the Trent Jackson persona is interesting to me. But. I'm just saying!

Trent: Oh please, the statement "it helps your blog thrive would be a lie" is a problem within itself! Stop trying to make something that’s only 1/10 of the focus the main attraction! Like right now...you're the dramatic one! It’s not me, its you.
I was just asking regular questions...and then here you come throwing curve balls harder than me? I thought baseball season was done!

Charles X: I am just doin' you like I see you do in your interviews. Throwin' hardass curve balls of truth!

Trent: Oh please that word along with friend and family is always misused.
You're a cancer just like my last two boyfriends...I see why we didn't get along.

Charles X: The drama is not the main component of the blog, but it is a frequent special guest. For example, you constantly address nameless haters. That, to me, is feeding the fire. I am gonna stab you, Trent Jackson!

Trent: So you do agree that drama isn’t the main element? So I’m not insane! I don’t like threats either!! Where are you gonna stab me in the ass? NAMING them would be a bigger problem...that would really start shit.

Charles X: Naming them...not naming them... still starts shit!

Trent: And half of them remain anonymous anyway...so I can never really put a name on them! If it has a name then there is a person I can blame. You can't have drama or a feud alone. I think my drama with other bloggers is more than obvious and they all have names. And were all-cordial now. It's just in the homosexual nature on some level, or better yet...the male EGO. You get what I am saying?

Charles: Yes, I totally get that.

Trent: That is one reason why, if not the reason why homosexual relationships often don't work, no one is willing to let the ego down. Men like being subservient to a certain level...then the testosterone kicks in. Masturbation is always healthy.

Charles X: I love masturbation.

Trent: So anyway who are your favorite music artists?

Charles X: Astrud Gilberto, Ella Fitzgerald, Rilo Kiley, Simon & Garfunkel, India Arie, just to name a few of my absolute favorites

Trent: okay...lets play a game. I say a word you tell me what it means

Charles X: Sounds fun. Alright

Trent: Family

Charles: Love and loyalty

TRENT Love

CHARLES X: Hmm! Passionate affection

TRENT God

CHARLES X: Psychological scapegoat.

TRENT your next post title....LOL...Next word, Self-Love

CHARLES X: Beatin’ your meat!

TRENT Acceptance

CHARLES X: The cousin of truth

TRENT rejection

CHARLES X: A part of the plan

TRENT hmm...I like that one. Last word.....BOTTOM

CHARLES X:Hahaha. A bottom is a guy who prefers to be fucked!

TRENT You know. I want to thank you for the interview finally....! It's been a pleasure. You're very mentally stimulating, refreshing and all of that. You're going to make some man real happy one day. A black man...
CHARLES X: Thank you. OH NO YOU DID-ENT! Hmm maybe a black man. Maybe white/hispanic/asian. We didn't get to talk about my wedding.

TRENT: find a FIANCE first!!! It's okay to be outside of the box, and I know black men are a hassle. But let me tell you this...my philosophy. No matter what you do, where you go, no one, not even yo momma...will be able to UNDERSTAND, RELATE, AND KNOW YOU like another BLACK MAN! There is so much pressure on us...and some of us don't know how to deal and are so reactionary. But the beauty of being with a black man who's strong, has a sense of self and an understanding of the world that he's in...It’s a beautiful thing. It's something to be experienced!

CHARLES X: That's why I got married to Clay Cane

TRENT: don't give up on a black man....remember who you are...and it doesn't matter where you come from....BOY PLEASE. REMEMBER I HAD CLAY FIRST!

CHARLES X: But then I came along, and he liked me more, bitch!

TRENT: that's okay, you can have my sloppy seconds, just know you're kissing me when you're kissing him...and that taste on his dick is my breath!

CHARLES X:*gets the razors* You aint never touched my man!

TRENT: that’s aiight, cause he's higher on my list than you!

CHARLES X: And I'm higher on his. And I don't care if it is alphabetical order. Now what

TRENT: BOY I AM TRENT JACKSON!

CHARLES X: BOY I AM CHARLES X!

TRENT: Thats all that needs to be said.

CHARLES X: DOMINATIN ERRYTHING! I'm bout to buy you out, actually, watch out!

TRENT: keep thinking that, you gonna be on that midnight train to Georgia

CHARLES X: LMAO!!! See...Imma just leave it at that.

TRENT: you know when to stop

CHARLES X: You are too funny Shut yo ole...

TRENT: No you're the funny one...

CHARLES X: I’m a respect my elders

TRENT: I forgot to ask you, you eat ass?

CHARLES X: No, siree bob!

TRENT: you need to with those lips...

CHARLES X: My lips need to stay away from someone’s ass. I don't know if I would let someone do that. But I wouldn't do that stank ish. But more power to you!

TRENT: and I'm gonna let the old comment slide...I thought you had control of your tongue...It's all good, we'll talk about that when I see you in person

CHARLES X: My tongue is in control like Janet Jackson. When I was 17... but anyways, its not goin in an ass where shit has been…

TRENT: you don't know when to stop! I am pulling the plug on you! We'll talk later

1.19.2006

Gallant Substance Of An Introspective Man: Quaheem

When I tell you that if there is one person that I am most impressed with it's Quaheem! Some of you may have been to his blog, but for others this is a going to be a great introduction to a man who is learning what life is all about. I had to break out my personal pen and notepad for my personal reference! You'll learn so much about him...and maybe even question some of your own beliefs, I know I did.

I think that Quaheem represents the past, present and future...of what being a human is all about.

Introducing Quaheem...


Trent: So Quaheem? Kyle Black, you know you're the bomb right?

Quaheem: That is news to me.... But I am glad you think so

Trent: How do you feel about incense and candle burning?

Quaheem: I love incense and scented candles. It sets a mood

Trent: what kinda mood?

Quaheem: relaxing...and depending on the smell...sensual

Trent: how can you be relaxed physically and be tense mentally? Can the two coexist?

Quaheem: it's difficult...cuz the body usually follows the lead of the mind…I don’t think u really can actually

Trent: but u are…

Quaheem: actually I don't really think a lot of times. I AM relaxed physically...

Trent: so what are you wearing right now...?

Quaheem: T-Shirt and some Sweats.... House wear

Trent: colors, brands, paint me a Picasso.

Quaheem: shit...The T-Shirt is hanes (black)...the sweats are Nike (grey)...and underneath is my birthday suit!

Trent: nasty ass...How tall are you...?

Quaheem: 5'9" roughly

Trent: how much you weigh?

Quaheem: last time I checked 150 pounds

Trent: LMAO, it fits...

Quaheem: Why do you say that?

Trent: you wear glasses...?
Quaheem: I do...Haven't worn them in a while...So depending on my mood I'll rock them.

Trent: your lips...are they thick and full?

Quaheem: Hmmm.....are you asking questions you already know the answer to?

Trent: well I don't know...I am asking because I am trying to get a visual, you know we don't know what you look like...I mean you're a mystery. I am just going on by what I hear in your voice....

Quaheem: I gotcha...

Trent: are your lips pink?

Quaheem: indeed...most healthy lips are

Trent: yeah.... you have big hair?

Quaheem: Nah...Hair is in a low Caesar

Trent: thas hot...so lets see. You know I've been up all night trying to dig up dirt on you, right?

Quaheem: oh no. SAY IT AINT SO!!

Trent: well, I am Trent Jackson...but you know you've kept your nose very clean...

Quaheem: I try...

Trent: I must say...but there is that one blemish that proactive didn't clear up....

Quaheem: uh oh...

Trent: you said something to me very prolific yesterday...and it definitely put everything in order in my life...it was so simple, common sense really...

Quaheem: and what was that?

Trent: you told me how all your adult life is about is getting over your childhood issues and becoming a better adult...make sense of things.

Quaheem: Ahh yeah...That's what it's about. Trying to put together the broken pieces of your past and manage yourself in adult life. It's a daily struggle for me. But I feel like I am winning

Trent: that’s cool. You know I think you are a really smart man...and you really explore and make your dark side of live relevant...you actually said that you liked the dark side of your life....how does that parallel to the light side of your life?

Quaheem: Well...embracing those things that are negative about ourselves helps us remain in balance with the positive. I no longer feel the need to pretend like I have it all together. I am insecure...I don't trust many people...I don't know how to be loved...but I am willing to fight to change those things...

Trent: can I be honest with you?

Quaheem: sure...

Trent: I wanted to give you the biggest hug yesterday and tell you that I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to BE...that’s so important for the kids to hear. I think that the gay life glamorizes pretension and facades...and you took the mask off and was like WHAT? Have you always been that way...?

Quaheem: Well...I am an intensely personal person, but I have always been willing to share some of my traumas and situations with folks because, #1 For a lot of my life I felt like the people who mattered to me were too caught up in their negativity to listen and, #2, because hearing how "I" am a work in progress may perhaps help someone tap into a place in their lives where they haven't been...I am a strong brother with many weaknesses....

Trent: I love it….would you say July/August was a bad time for you?

Quaheem: well this summer was a rough one....Lost my job, lost my apartment was unemployed for 4 months...no food in the fridge...just STRESS! But I HAD to go through that and don't you know now I have a job with double the salary and an apartment with double the space!

Trent: so what went on through your mind...when it’s just you and no one else? Do you get depressed? You said you don't trust people...Did you reach out for help...during any of this?

Quaheem: Well...I was very depressed yes...And it makes it worse because I am very prideful so it took a LOT for me to reach out to people to ask for help. I lived off of French fries and water for a month.

Trent: don't you think there is a limit to pride?

Quaheem: YES...when you are fuckin starving! And you are rolling quarters, nickels, and dimes.

Trent: so what was your breaking point?

Quaheem: Well I think one night when I went into a hypoglycemic episode....broke out in a cold sweat...got weak...Because I had not eaten, scared the SHIT out of me.

Trent: right...did you ever reach out to your family? How is your relationship with them?

Quaheem: Well I called my moms for 50 dollars here and 50 dollars there. The last time I called her for money the electric company had just cut her lights off for non-payment. She STILL found a way to send me something. The relationship between her and I is pretty strong. I have not seen or spoken to my father in nearly four years. And I really don't talk to any of my 3 brothers that often. We've never had a tight family structure. It's always been a mess. It's getting better though now that my father has been out of the picture for some time.

Trent: So your father...can I explore that?

Quaheem: feel free

Trent: was he abusive?

Quaheem: Verbally mostly to my mother. He was an alcoholic. A weekend alcoholic though. So when Friday would roll around I could expect he and my mother to be going at it. Every weekend for nearly 15 years, she would call the police and she and I would go running to neighbor’s houses in the middle of the night. Chaos

Trent: has that shaped your opinion on men and your sexuality?

Quaheem: Well...My father has absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality...in terms of what it means to be a MAN I do think his lack of "fatherly" attention definitely forced me to have to figure out on my own what being a black man in a society hell-bent on destroying you. Have a lot of resentment towards him

Trent: okay.... so has your experience with him changed your romantic outlook with other black men?

Quaheem: My experience with BLACK MEN has shaped my romantic
outlook...LOL

Trent: well, get into that in a second. You know one of my favorite posts came out of that period last summer; We Are The Rock N' Roll Children. The first line went something like "I don't need a nigga or friend..." is that true or was that really a cry for help?

Quaheem: Interesting...I think that is mostly true...I am just learning how to love and NEED myself, so that was basically saying...I don't need a LOVER or a FRIEND as a "replacement" for the love for myself that I SHOULD have

Trent: do you think your just now learning to love yourself has something to do with you being lonely and a little detached from your family?

Quaheem: Well I am now learning how to exist and be happy with ME...yes...And yes I am lonely at times. I do think that my experience with my family has in a way made me a bit resistant to letting a person get DEEPER with me. I don’t have any assurance that they just won't up and leave after I've let go and torn down the walls. There's a line in a Prince song that illustrates EXACTLY how I feel...it says..."If you break my heart one more time/It'll be the last heart you ever break"…That's how I feel sometimes...

Trent: are you going to kill someone or yourself?

Quaheem: Never that.... God does ALL the work for me

Trent: lol...aiight...

Quaheem: The earth rotates 360 degrees

Trent: are you afraid of who you are at the core?

Quaheem: Not necessarily...I think I am more afraid of letting the world see it. There is A LOT of stuff I have to give. A lot of poems...A lot of songs...A lot of talent. But I am still deathly afraid at times...

Trent: are you afraid of what others will think of you after you let your walls down? Or are you ashamed of your experiences that contributed to the person that you're grappling with today?

Quaheem: I am afraid of people seeing the stripped down Quaheem. Because people won't listen to UNDERSTAND...they will listen to criticize

Trent: one day hopefully soon....we can talk face to face and I can listen to understand, not to criticize. I think I've been dealing with the very thing for such a long time.

Quaheem: I am SURE you have Trent...as many of us have

Trent: Trent....LMAO!

Quaheem: lol

Trent: does it bother you when people just say your name out of nowhere or at the end of a sentence? It's like damn did you forget who you're talking to? It's like damn, I know my name!

Quaheem: Nah...I like it when people say my name

Trent: during sex I am guessing?

Quaheem: Yeah..That works too...But it has to be a whisper in the ear

Trent: oh so you like dickin' boys down then?

Quaheem: No comment....lol

Trent: uh huh, I heard about your stint on blackplanet.

Quaheem: my STINT? lmao

Trent: well whatever you call it, I think most of the gay boys have graduated to Adam4Adam...especially that ShawnQT!

Quaheem: Adam4Adam is a straight up freak factory.... I don’t fuck with it! Blackplanet is slutty enough....but it's tolerable

Trent: please! Under that entire garb there is a lion that cant be taimed!

Quaheem: LMAO!

Trent: you're like Grace Jones in BOOMERANG! So I take it you're single...?

Quaheem: Yes..This February it will be 5 years of single life

Trent: are you ready to start dating again?

Quaheem: I mean...I have never really DATED per se. I have actually never been on a REAL date before. I would entertain the possibility

Trent: oh wow! Can I take you on a real date?

Quaheem: have your people call my people

Trent: I can give you some of my pre-purchased cologne too...

Quaheem: lmao @ pre purchased cologne, you are a fool!!!

Trent: so what do you look for in a guy, MAN?

Quaheem: masculinity...spirituality...home
training...education...motivation...LOYALTY...honesty...sensuality

Trent: you read my book huh? Stop stealing my ideas!

Quaheem: LOYALTY is very important

Trent: um you just plagiarized me that was on Page 11 first paragraph.

Quaheem: I have NEVER read your book! I guess great minds think alike! lol

Trent: I don't be--LIE--ve you

Quaheem: I feel no need to lie about that one

Trent: so anyway....what does this ideal man of your look like, you know I have a lot of readers!

Quaheem: I don’t FEEL the need to lie about that one...I got ghetto on that one for a second. I have learned NOT to have a physical type anymore...Because just when I think I do someone else comes along who breaks the mold…but there are some general guidelines...

Trent: oh shit page 12 of my book

Quaheem: I do prefer thinner dudes (think Trey Songz thin)....good hygiene....

Trent: YES

Quaheem: nice teeth

Trent: TREY SONGS IS FINE! But a little too thin...no ass to grab on while he on top of me!

Quaheem: he is too fine though...I could never date someone that attractive

Trent: So why can’t you date someone who is attractive? Shouldn't your mate be a reflection of you?

Quaheem: Well...That is my insecurity issue....

Trent: okay, elaboration!

Quaheem: I have always tended to date brothas who (as some of my friends would tell me) weren't necessarily as attractive as I was...But I saw the beauty in them...I never really thought I was capable of "pulling" someone who was universally thought of as a DIME.

Trent: hmm, we need to work on that....but I think I am a dime so why shouldn't my husband be?

Quaheem: I mean..I am coming around...

Trent: Anyway, I guess that just comes from people trying to tell me I was fat and I wasn't attractive.

Quaheem: There are some nights when I am out and I am like DAMN NIGGA you know you got it...

Trent: I thought like you at one point...but it's a mess now, I laugh at anyone who calls me ugly or tells me I am ugly because I am fat that is so very retarded... People want you to buy into their ideas and suggestions on what you should be about and that’s not what my life is about anymore.

Quaheem: you are right...It is REALLY about attitude. How you carry yourself, what kind of energy you project….

Trent: I am in the mirror every 10 seconds....

Quaheem: lmao…

Trent: hence Trent Jackson. That arrogant bastard. UH, I can't stand him at times.... So what is your five-year plan?

Quaheem: Hopefully to have a master’s degree...perhaps be working on a doctorate...To be more actively pursing my artistic interests (spoken word, singing songwriting)... But education is DEFINITELY in the plan. I have a hunger for knowledge

Trent: hmm, have you ever given head before?

Quaheem: what?

Trent: what is knowledge if it isn't in the head?

Quaheem: lmao....Telling you will not EVER recreate the feeling...

Trent: are you asking me if you can suck my dick?

Quaheem: GENERAL STATEMENT

Trent: yeah, I thought so...LOL. I am fat I am not a Trey Songz toddler look alike.

Quaheem: lol...CRAZY

Trent: so do you want to be in a relationship?

Quaheem: Indeed. I don't foresee it in the near future. But who knows what is in God's plan.

Trent: do you want to stay east coast or do you want to move elsewhere?

Quaheem: I am like a rolling stone...So I wouldn't mind ending up in a number of different locales...

Trent: so I've been doing a new thing in my interviews.... Word Association. I tell you a word and you tell me what it means to you...you read?

Quaheem: Go for it

Trent: Growth

Quaheem: Life

Trent: Engaging

Quaheem: Cornel West!

Trent: Overcoming

Quaheem: Inevitable

Trent: Self

Quaheem: The only REAL enemy

Trent: mmmhmmm…Acceptance

Quaheem: freedom

Trent: Understanding...

Quaheem: struggle

Trent: awareness

Quaheem: Not enough

Trent: ....I'm done. Was that so bad?

Quaheem: No...I enjoyed that...Made me REALLY think

Trent: I don't know what people are so afraid of me for?

Quaheem: The truth is a scary entity....

Trent: You know, Quaheem!! You’re hot!

Quaheem: lol

Trent: thank you for the interview!!

1.18.2006

American Idol, Hillary Dyke Ass & Trent's Favorites!

So Simon is a mess for calling that girl fat and calling that boy a rat! But he is a tragic mess for telling that young gay Black man that he'd be better off being a woman...that was foul! Somebody is gonna catch Simon in a dark alley and let her have it. They gonna taze that girl somethin fierce!

But is this the year for gay black twins? Both sets can saaaang but they aint straight! Why they trying to pretend like they ain't gay? I tell you about The Blacks, SHADE, SABOTAGE AND TRICKERY girl! Hmmm...mess, I am gonna find one of them and...let me stop. That police officer was cute but, somebody should have shot his sheriff ass!! And girl? What was up with Suntan Barbie? These people are a mess!! American Idol is truly hilarious...

I'mma have a Bill in my mouf like Hillary Rodham....So was she in line when she said that "The republicans are running the senate like a plantation?" I am so curious to see what Clay and The Bougieness are going to say to that...hmmm.

So a few days ago someone asked me what some of my favorite movie lines were...here is a list.

1. "You know me, once I'm on stage I'm Fine. And when you're not?"
What's Love Gotta Do With It? Conversation between Jackie and Tina...
(...See thats the shit right there that I am talkin bout...What, wha, you gettin ready to on stage...)

2. "Oh Fuck The Family! The Family out the family in my house fucked my husband!
Yeah thats right, Faith fucked my husband!"
Soul Food, Vanessa Williams as Terry

3. "The white man tell you to open your gotdamn mouth you sing all gotdamn day!"
Whats Love Gotta Do With It?, Laurence Fishburne as Ike

4. "I fucking love you! I fucking love you! You fucked me four times the other night.
You've been inside me. I swallowed your cum. That means something! Four times--it means something!! Twenty-four hours a day, I live with this aching possibility...that you might call me to do something.Don't you know when you sleep with someone...your body makes a promise whether you do or not?"
Vanilla Sky, Camerion Diaz as that Psycho Bitch.

5. "Girl what do you expect him to say? I'm a crackhead?"
Waiting To Exhale, Whitney Houston as Savannah

6. "Is this the Cocksucker residence? Isn't this 4215 Pussy Way?
Let me check the zip - 212 Fuck you?!!"
Serial Mom, Kathleen Turner as Serial mom

7. "You sellin' noway products?"
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!
(The killer is when Kim Wayans was in the background in the jazz club
signing When The Saint's Go Marchin' In)

8. "Christ, what an idiot I am, Jesus. What the hell's the matter
with me? Farmer, you've made me a raving lunatic!"
The Bodyguard, Whitney Houston as Rachel Marron

9. "You're not gay! I know gay when I see! My brother is gay! Him over there
he is gay! You just don't want to fuck my pussy!"
Boomerang, Grace Jones as Strange

10. "Why must black people cause ruckus in a white man's building? "
Two Can Play That Game, Vivica Fox as Shante Smith

What are some of your favorite lines...I know half of yall hoes gonna come with the Color Purple and more Waiting To Exhale...


1.17.2006

Cigarettes & Diet Coke

Whaddup tho?

Shot Outs To: Bobby Brown Jr., for being so open and candid. Period. Bobby and I had a conversation and I omitted what I thought should have been left out...there is so much that people don't see...but it was still real enough for you to capture what was going on. I'll talk about why I focused on the drug thing so much a lil' bit later in my post. Big ups to D-Place and The Blacks! Yesterday was such a good time! We hung out at D's for a while had some Thai food and had very stimulating, interesting conversation, it was real hot like..."You gotta live in the now and not the yesterday!" How You Doin? to A.D. thank you for all of your lovely comments, I would just wish you could be like At&T and reach out and touch a muthafucka!

I really do enjoy my readers and the people that comment. I really love the comments that I get, all of them, truly I do. I expect people to disagree and state their opinions because the only way we can move to a greater understanding for who we are as people is to have frank and free discussion. So argumentation is expected!!

So am I the only queen ready for American Idol tonight? Yall betta watch! Lets see how many of "The Kids" we can pick out of the audition bunch....so tonight on Fox 8 or something like that.

Desperate Housewives....uhhhhh....It was like two days ago and I don't remember. But what I do remember is how that old man let his nurse have it with that I.V. that was a hot mess! I damn near fell outta my chair....wait a story is brewing....so let me tell you how the cable man came to my house to fix my shit. Los Angeles had a fierce windstorm the other night and knocked my internet and cable out of whack. So the cable guy, was extra flirty...it was like 10 minutes before Desperate Housewives and I ask him "Do you think you can get the cable up in 10 minutes?" He responds "I can get a whole lot up in 10 minutes!" I am like uh, what presumed heterosexual answers a question like that...? Mess. But I did get his number...

So let me tell you how I flaked out on the sex party idea. I wasn't feeling it at the last minute...I think maybe because my ex came over the other night...not that we did anything, but it was good to see him, especially since I was feeling the way I was about him a week ago. I was able to get some type of closure from the situation and finally on my terms. It's something about having him in my home watching me move around freely that was a turn on for me and at the same time a thank you to him for allowing me to be who I was when he was with me. I didn't cause anything in the relationship...he was just the fucked up one about it and couldn't really express the way he was feeling about being with me. I still love him and I am always going to support him. I thank him for the person that he is, the person that I know and I will always love. But I can't believe I am finally getting closure after being dumped a year and a half ago.

During my interview with Bobby Brown, I was fascinated about his willingness to talk and share. Although I just wanted him to stroke my ego and tell me that he read my blog the entire time we didn't speak, secretly I knew he was reading and I am glad that I chipped away at him enough to say something...We have a better understand of who we are, I think and thats important. I was offended on a personal level because when he first came on the scene I knew that he would get ME, out of any other blogger. Yeah I am close with a few other people, but I thought that Bobby should and would understand me more so...because of the connection that we share and he and I know what that is. The whole drug thing has always been fascinating to me. I always wonder what makes people do drugs...have they sold their bodies for drugs, what do you feel when you're high, what types of drugs do they do. I think my fascination comes from living with a drug addicted parent, my mother. She's a functional drug user. Maintains her life, goes to work every day, pays her bills, combs her hair, raises her children, but she's high every day. Ever since I've known her she's been high. My father was an addict, he died because of drugs, but not of an overdose. So I am predisposed to drugs...thats why I choose not to do them. I eat instead....

Once I asked my mother why she did drugs, her answer, "I do drugs because of you." I never questioned her again...so I ask other people who I know won't get offended by me questioning their drug usage.

It's funny how I finally found the strength to let the guy i've been dating for the last 11 months go. He too was a drug addict...Why am I the codependent in every aspect of my personal relationships with people...thats a mess. I had to put an end to it. Tarrance couldn't handle it, Trent Jackson could.

1.16.2006

Shade, Sabotage & Trickery: The Bobby Brown Interview

Well, Well, Well...I guess the secret is out. Bobby J. Brown Jr. and Trent Jackson have put aside their trimester worth of shade and have come together to have a chat...Was Bobby still really giving shade? Was Trent going for the drama...?

*********
Trent: So it's so good to finally make amends.

Bobby: I know! You have no idea how brighter my day has been!

Trent: Same here.

Bobby: I’m being serious, u know I love u to death! I feel like we're kindred spirits.

Trent: I've always known that. It was just a misunderstanding that got out of hand. I wanted to rectify back in October, but hey better late than never and we do have a lot in common.

Bobby: Right. I hope the retraction post I did was sufficient enough, as I said in that post I’m not interested in revisiting the past with all the details. I’m sorry for my role. Together we are POWERFUL

Trent: I apologize as well. But I want you to know that I was coming to D.C. to look for you in February.

Bobby: LOL

Trent: no really. I was, I was coming there anyway. And I was like I am gonna find is little skinny ass, wanna call me fat and all like that. I just want to walk up to him and just shake his hand to let him know that I don't give a fuck! And I need to clear up any misconception there is. Cause it's bullshit.

Bobby: Honestly I’m glad u didn’t do that b4 we talked, things would have gotten a little ugly...I was very upset with you!

Trent: for no reason though. I thought it was pretty funny

Bobby: I would have had to pull out my Lucy Liu blade! U thought it was for no reason but I felt like there was one...but we're done with that. You taught me a VALUABLE life lesson today that ill never forget

Trent: And that was what?

Bobby: things are really always not what they seem...sometimes expectations can set u up! You were unlike ANYTHING I expected and that’s a great thing!

Trent: LMAO. See I tell the blacks all the time. So while you were enraged in hate at me, did you secretly read my blog?

Bobby: I can’t front yea I did! You were one of the first blogs I ever read and I wanted us to be friends. I wanted to see if you had something else smart to say!

Trent: LMAO. When I say something, I mean it. I was done really. I still read your blog at times...

Bobby: also let me clear up something u said that people might think was real; I NEVER USED YO PAGE AS A RATINGS MAGNET!!

Trent: yeah actually I do remember that...

Bobby: its all good we both Pisces so we both stubborn ass hell

Trent: well the thing is, not to be arrogant or anything like that, I get about 1000 readers per day and if they see something, or I say I like something, they go and check it out too.

Bobby: and that’s great for u

Trent: So when I say "ratings" or "hits" I know that people are reading and a lot of people are popular bloggers because I mentioned them

Bobby: My name is Bobby Brown Jr...That draws a certain amount of readers in itself but im not caught up with numbers b/c that’s not the intention of my page

Trent: lol...I’m not caught up in numbers either…I just like to be aware of my surroundings. So we're cool now. It's a wrap...but one more thing, I AM NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!

Bobby: im so glad u said that

Trent: I'm never afraid of admitting I'm wrong in something. See my whole thing is, people are watching either way. So everything is a win, win situation...

Bobby: u do sometimes come off as being committed to being right

Trent: well I think that just comes with being confident or firm in your beliefs. We all possess that.

Bobby: I had to learn that lesson the hard way so now I make it a practice in my daily living and try to encourage others the let it go. So u know I was very skeptical about this interview right?

Trent: Well I understand why some people are but I don't know what for.

Bobby: well for me it’s the approach. I’ve read some of your interviews with my mouth wide open, thinking to myself..eww did he just go there?

Trent: lol, what’s wrong with that? Let go of you inhibitions.

Bobby: I know it’s the Trent Jackson effect but its a little unnerving to me.

Trent: Trent Jackson effect? I didn't know there was one...but I would never try and snatch anything from anyone. I think I ask the questions that I do to show the rawness of a person. I try to get to the bottom or the core of a persons soul. People can relate better to that.

Bobby: I get that...so go for it im ready for u to get to the bottom of my soul…or something like that.

Trent: so when you masturbate do you use Vaseline or oil based products?

Bobby: neither...my saliva works just fine

Trent: WHAT? OMG?!!! See! That’s what I am talking about, all-natural.

Bobby: pretty much

Trent: so do you play with your ass when you masturbate?

Bobby: naw...but I like to watch somebody else do that…to themselves.

Trent: so I think one of the biggest misconceptions about you is that you're on this "Positive" kick. And everything that you say and do has a motivational message behind it. Do you think this is problematic on any level? Because you kind of come off like there is no negativity in your life, but we have read the posts and we know about some of your experiences...how do you balance the two?

Bobby: first of all im VERY conscious and careful with what I chose to post on my page b/c I now have a following of people who listen and apply some the tools I share…I aint no where near Mr. positivity and anybody who knows me can tell u that...I have CRAZY shit that happens to me on a daily basis...but one of the things ive realized is that people spend too much time talking about what’s wrong in there lives and not enough talking about what’s right. Sometimes ill share what’s going wrong but I don’t give it too much energy b/c talking about it doesn’t fix it. I like to talk about it once its been fixed or resolved, how I balance it is that I only share enough for people to know things are going on…the details are not important.

Trent: okay....you and I are in similar situations, we both kinda talk about our lives in a public forum. People accuse me all the time of focusing on a lot of negative things, which is far from true...that’s one reason why I started a second blog...but my question is how do you deal with any side comments that we don't see that you may not like...or what you deem as negative.

Bobby: well honestly thus far ive not had to deal with that and I think having the disclaimer on my page and constantly refering people to it helps that, if I did though...id simple erase it and move on. I have no space and or energy for that

Trent: what is your biggest fear?

Bobby: my biggest fear is my own success. I know that god has bigger dreams than I have for myself and my fear is that I wont achieve the things he has for me or I wont know what to do once it happens, I’m still working through that...its a daily struggle.

Trent: yeah my thing is what am I gonna do when it gets here and I am going to be able to handle it since I asked for it. Sometimes we ask for things, we get them and then we're looking stupid.

Bobby: EXACTLY

Trent: So tell me...do you plan to write an autobiography?

Bobby: I thought about it but i've decided to write a show instead, I’m a performer/character by nature!

Trent: trust me, I know.

Bobby: I feel like my story would reach people better if they see me in action, I don’t want to talk too much about the show yet b/c its still in development but just know that its gonna be ridiculous.

Trent: You've experienced a lot of pain in your life. Before you got to the point of dealing with your past issues in a proactive sense, what were some of your vices?

Bobby: lets see....whew..sex was a big one...sex without emotions or attachments and I used my intelligence and sharp tongue to demolish anybody who I felt was attacking me.

Trent: (I'm hearing Lela Rochon in my head, Lying, sneaking whorish Pisces!!)

Bobby: take out the lying piece but yea, I’ve always been honest. Sometimes too damn honest.

Trent: ever used drugs?

Bobby: yea plenty of them

Trent: do tell

Bobby: but I’ve never been addicted b/c I have control issues. I can’t imagine allowing a drug to take control of me and I learned from the best....how to do drugs. The motto is "do the drugs..Dont let the drugs do u"

Trent: so what was your drug of choice?

Bobby: I wont say...just know that i’ve tried most of them but my drug of choice has always been the grown persons drug!

Trent: Not the white lady??!!!

Bobby: depends on which white lady u are referring to. Britney Spears...Christina Aguilera...Madonna. One might say...

Trent: so have you tried crack?

Bobby: HELL NAW

Trent: don't say the line!

Bobby: u hear my wife!! Crack is whack

Trent: did you use drugs as a sex enhancer or was it to escape your reality?

Bobby: glad u asked that....NEVER used them as a sex enhancer...in fact quite the opposite. I’ve always tapped into my creative senses when I was high. I guess my outlook on drugs is slightly different. I never take them when i’m not in a good space emotionally, which is associated with my control issues

Trent: so what type of creative work did you produce while you were high?

Bobby: I wont say...just know that a LOT of work has been done while high...kinda like Ray Charles and many of the artists who’ve indulged

Trent: Porn?

Bobby: (me changing the subject b4 folks think i’m a crack head) u know Oprah had a little coke habit early in her career.

Trent: you know what is up with you and Oprah?

Bobby: I’m a fanatic...it’s almost a sickness...I think secretly i’m a porn star in my head.

Trent: hmm. So let me ask you about sex. Has sex ever adversely affected you?

Bobby: yes. The first time I got raped when I was 15 years old

Trent: By a man?

Bobby: yea, not cute.

Trent: is that when your abuse of drugs started?

Bobby: hell no! We’re done with the drug thing Mr. Jackson. Believe it or not I didn’t even try drugs until about 5 years ago! I was a grown up

Trent: okay...calm down.

Bobby: I was actually raped 2 times, while I was a teenager.

Trent: simmer...don't get so testy one might assume you're high now. How did you deal with that?

Bobby: for the record i’m not. I didn’t deal with it...I just became more bitter and hated myself more. It definitely affected my attitude about sex and my sexual experience.

Trent: how did you confront that.... or address it?

Bobby: through a variety of ways (not therapy or religion) mostly personal development classes. Self help books and through people. I’ve been blessed to have some WONDERFUL people in my life! Who’ve been my anchors

Trent: yes, I can attest to wonderful people

Bobby: oh yea I forgot school. I studied psychology, which helped a lot

Trent: but you know. Let me just tell you, that I am just fascinated by people who use drugs...

Bobby: here we go

Trent: did you get your degree and what school did you attend?

Bobby: sure did. In 2003 (mind u I finished high school in 95) it took a while but I finished...I put my self through school...I went to DePaul University in Chicago Illinois.

Trent: that’s hot, congratulations.

Bobby: I cried at the graduation

Trent: hell I would have too! shit, that’s to be commended

Bobby: the last 2 years of school, I worked full time with 300+ employees, took a full class load and ran my fraternity chapter

Trent: oh yes, Alpha Man.

Bobby: looking back I don’t know what the hell I was thinking!

Trent: well you're here at this point now...would you do it all again?

Bobby: ABSO-FUCKIN-LUTELY!!! That experience prepared me for where I am right now!

Trent: yes...and you value things more when you struggle.

Bobby: I left home when I was 15 so things were much harder for me

Trent: why did you leave home?

Bobby: I won’t get into the details b/c u know how I feel about those.

Trent: no you don’t, you think you know.

Bobby: just know that had I not left I probably would have lost my mind

Trent: yes, I've been at that point.

Bobby: b/c I was the sane conscious voice of reason for the family. The one everybody told everything too.

Trent: yes

Bobby: both of my parents and all of my siblings…

Trent: that’s a lot to handle

Bobby: hell yea it’s a lot! Also I was struggling with the sexuality thing and that was an absolute no, no with my parents.

Trent: well let’s talk about something quickly…I remember you made a comment that will always stick out in my head. "You don't know momma issues like I know momma issues" Do you remember saying that?

Bobby: yep

Trent: you know that annoyed me right?

Bobby: I remember that it did but I couldn’t understand why…

Trent: because by you saying that, I felt that you were invalidating my experience at the moment. What I got was, that not nothing compared to what I've been through with my momma….

Bobby: not at all

Trent: and I was like, um...

Bobby: I’m sorry u took it that way. That was not my intent. What I was saying was we all have issues...an issue is an issue is an issue...we put different value on certain issues. Like his momma left him or his daddy shot his cousin, but at the core an issue is an issue...and no issue is serious enough for u to lose yo momma b4 u had the chance to clean it up, that’s all I was saying.

Trent: yeah we've cleaned up...about a week ago. But it was progression...I think we put too much value on the words FAMILY and MOTHER. And not to mean that in a negative way...it's like we excuse them for causing so much turmoil and shit and I don't understand that...just because of those words, but they are human like everyone else.

Bobby: EXACTLY MY POINT

Trent: we can check other people or put them in their place...why not do the same to them? Lets play a game

Bobby: ok

Trent: I say a word, you tell me what it means...to you….Bottoms

Bobby: HOT

Trent: NW45

Bobby: ?

Trent: Janet Jackson

Bobby: washed-up

Trent: Steven Claiborne

Bobby: ASS!

Trent: he has ass or he is an ass?

Bobby: he has a pretty ass...(i’m an ass fanatic)..lol..luv him

Trent: tell him I am in love with him...anyway, No4real

Bobby: friend

Trent: Love

Bobby: AMAZING

Trent: Snow

Bobby: LATE

Trent: Rodney

Bobby: u are tryin me

Trent: no

Bobby: lol WONDERFUL!! scratch that soul mate!!

Trent: sum up your life right now in 20 words or less

Bobby: currently my life is wonderful...i’m in love, I have love, I give love and I heal!

Trent: if you could ask Trent Jackson one thing, what would it be?

Bobby: when you're dead, what would you like to be said at your service?

Trent: I wont answer that.

Bobby: not fair

Trent: ask me something while I am alive. I don’t like those kinds of things because it limits your time...

Bobby: i’m interested in the legacy u are creating for yourself

Trent: it’s like your calling death into your realm...

Bobby: what do u want to be remembered most for

Trent: I think people will remember me for my honesty or always finding a way to cheer them up.

Bobby: death is a reality and nothing to be afraid of...u aint going nowhere soon...God has a lot in store for u!! Can I just say we are the bomb? And i’m looking forward to meeting you at the top!

Trent: yes we are...and I am done with my interview! Was that bad?

Bobby: not at all...u did get me though but its all good...consider it my payback for the nasty words

Trent: what do you mean I got you?

Bobby: I would have NEVER talked about the drug thing to anybody else

Trent: well call it intuition I just wanted to see if you were going to tell me

Bobby: but I rather talk to u about it and get it out b4 it shows up on access Hollywood when I’m famous.

Trent: But I've always been afraid of drugs, but people who use them always fascinate me. I just ask a lot of questions because I know that I will never do them!

Bobby: thank u for being a wonderful ray of sunshine i’m glad to now call a friend and that’s probably good for you.

Trent: Thanks Bobby Brown, it’s been real…now we have an idea of what it’s like being Bobby Brown.

Bobby: make sure u read my post b4 u leave! Goodnight!.

1.13.2006

Yes Blogger Man, You Are Hot!

Cause Trent Jackson said so!

HELLO, HELLO! Greetings! Peace, blessings, incense & candles! (Nom-mi-yo-ho-rain-gay-keyo) It is Friday the 13th and my ass did have on all black today. Don't fuck with me!

Shot Outz To: D-place. Woooo fatha talks so much sense in my head its ridiculous, cause there would have been a horrible, I mean horrendous episode on my blog today if it weren't for him. So thank you for all like that. I like it when I am able to stick to regular programming and have a sense of control over the situation! Um, hello! The Blacks, where is Charles X? Hmm. Young Trent is looking for you, skwalla! Big Ups to all of my readers, past, present, pending, undecided, future all like that. I love you...

So getting on with it. You know I adore Black men. And there are a lot of hot Blogger men too. Have I ever done this before? Insinuate maybe...but never went and put nobody on blast. If you're not on the list, don't be all mad like. You're still cute...and things.

I've selected 5 bloggers who I think are just hot.

1. Frank Roberts!
My Secret got warm for him about a year ago...
But I swear if I get the chance to meet him, I wont drool or attack him.
He will soon have Ph.D behind or in front of his name...and it doesn't help
that we may out wit each other on the first meet.

2. Clay Cane
Who also happens to be my favorite blogger.
I think when this all natural, Tom's Toothpaste using
blogger/everything man gave us a full frontal, the kids went sick!
He is just freaking hot! I just want to shake his hand...Clay, photo op?


3. No4Real4Real
Um hi, this man is simply gorgeous.
I've told him before, but I don't think he believed me...
But have you seen that mans nipples? ::FAINT::
I don't mean to put him on blast, but all I need is a bottle of Moet
and his shirt off and it's OVA! He's a nice man, heart of gold...
I can't wait to hang with him...

4. Charles X
What? He came out of left field...Remained anonymous
And then BAM! WHAM! THANK YOU MA'AM!
Those eyes are piercing. Ovular, big, wide open, just like my secret
when I saw those lips on that Brown Skin...up against my...
Let me stop! Okay, he's cute, smart, witty, humorous...and he's gay.
I've got a chance!
5. Derrick L. Briggs (Jerzees Favorite!)
Um, Hi Derrick, how are you? I don't even think
you've left a comment on my blog, or vice versa.
But don't believe the hype!You're fine. I'm sure you know already...
You're a friend in my head though
You make these appearances on these blogs and these parties
and Trent is like, who is that, he looks just like the boy next door, aww.
That drink looks good though. Is that a Juicy Fruit Martini?

But please forgive me if I offended you by snatching pictures of you from all over. I don't mean any harm! I am just paying homage to some of the "Friends In My Head"

Have a great weekend and there is something brewing in Trent Jackson's Tea Pot...y'all better be here bright and early on Monday, I don't even think were gonna have time for a Desperate Housewives chat...but we'll see though.

I love you for being apart of my world if only for a minute!!

1.12.2006

I'm In Heat Like A Cat....

**New Post On Stone & Trent**

...So much that I am walking around the house rubbing my ass against furniture and shit! LMAO.


Shot Outz: To all of the anonymous readers. I think my Grandma might be reading...who knows? I think a lot of people read my shit. Then when they see me they be givin' funny looks. Thats okay though, yall fools act like yall didn't know I was gay or somethin', Iont know! Big ups to my Aunt Jacky, who swears everyone is gay. No they're not...just have of the famous people are, there's hope, there's hope! Although every time she says some fine mans name, I tell her he's gay. I can smell it. I can sense it like a dog senses fear. My mother tells me I should be a criminal/forensic profiler since my personality reading skills are so acute.

I SAW THE FUNNIEST thing while watching TV One last night. You know how they have those vintage episodes of everything? Well Vintage Apollo was on last night and Mariah Carey was on there singing "Love Takes Time," which was a beautiful song by the way. It was so nice to see her so pure, innocent, virginal, desiliconed and to be able to hit those notes without tracks underneath her live vocals. But the killer was the three queens in the background, backing her up. They had these Jheri Curl, Soul Glow hair-don'ts going on. Then they were all singing in their falsetto...it was a hilarious mess.

So thanks to everyone who responded to my magazine survey. I really appreciate it. Don't get all shitty on my response forms either. Punk asses!

Whassup with everyone denying their participation at these sex parties? I mean what? Yall don't want no one to know what the deal is. Look if I go to this muthafucka on Friday or Saturday, whenever it is and I end up with a mouf on my dick or vice versa, I am gonna come back with a story to tell. But I am kinda like skeptical on the whole idea, cause you know I am not all the way comfortable with my titties yet and there is a strip down policy at the door. I mean what. My manboobs are for intimate love making with one of the 4 men on my list of must have. Anyway...I have to see how I am feeling. People have been advising me not to go, since I am somewhat a notable figure, people will start talking...(so what if they do see me that will sell me more books, sell my next book and make them more interested in my new magazine) I am not afraid to show my penis. Yall are gonna see it in a few months anyway so I may as well practice now. I mean it's not gain green or nothin. LMAO. Hill Harper on CSI NY is fine as fuck.

OKAY, I CONFESS. I HAVE A HUUUGGGEE Crush on a blogger, but boys are a fraud so I won't put too much into it.

My life is boring today. Nothing is going on but this damn book, my hot new idea 4 a magazine...and sending emails all day.

Sorry D, I had to bite this off of you, but I went to D-place's blog last night...and saw this! FUCKING MESS!!

Coming up tomorrow Trents Hottest Blogger List...

1.11.2006

Trent Jackson Always Gets What He Wants...

Hello, Hello, Hello!

Settle down, I swear I don't try and start shit, they are just stupid homosexuals who choose to be adversely affected by my comments. I AM THE TRUTH. Y'all know what I am talking about!! I don't understand why people have to try and compete with me? What are you sick? I am the VICTOR, I CONQUER AND DIVIDE!!! Although there is nothing wrong with a lil' competition...Anyway let me quit. While yall bitches are on step one, I am already on like 10 getting ready to go to Phase 2. I don't fuck around. I do what I say and I say what I mean. If I say it...don't quench on the idea, wait for that shit to happen and be shut down! You can never front me!!! Many have tried, but few will succeed. I am sounding too arrogant or something along those lines now.

Shot Outs To: Cash, I am so busy! I'm sorry, I was in the middle of Salad devouration when you called. OOOHHHH That salad was so good, I better loose weight too, all this shit I am going through! I need to go talk to my treadmill as we speak. Shot Out to all of the readers...I don't know why some of yall are scared to comment-but the emails are lovely! I so appreciate it. Um Stone, can we do a post on our other blog already and quit fakin tha funk! Damn, you're so busy over there writing that poetry and shit a bitch like me can't get a shot out...


So wait!!? Do yall watch 106 & Park? Is it me or is Chris Brown, you know, Run It, Run It-a cutie or what? I am gonna need not to be in love with a 16 year old. I mean I am no R. Kelly or anything, but the boy is hot!! Yall said the same thing about B2K and all of them like that so don't test me! Anyway, he was on 106 & Park being so charming, so mature, such the joker...Ooooh I think I like him! Anyway...I'll wait. But he's so like mature...I'll get over it.

Let me tell you that I've always wanted to go to one of those sex party things. You know you strip down naked and let your balls hangout and just watch everyone get it on an crackin...? So I got invited to one and I sooooo want to go. What do you think I should do? I want to go, but yuck, I am sooooo not into sucking penis like that. That is so a masturbation fantasy. But I don't know. I think I just like the idea of watching two people fuck, its so like pornographic but except you can like touch and feel, maybe join in. Mmmm a threesome, a foursome, okay I am going. I'll tell you if I get turned out or not. Yall remember when Noah went to that sex party lookin for Ricky! Wait have any of you all been to sex parties? Email me and tell me about them. I am so afraid to go, but I think every gay man needs to go at least once in his life, whether or not he participates is another question, you have to have the experience under your belt (no pun intended bitches)

But hol' up! What the fuck is up with this Flavor Of Love bullshit? Those are some of the most ghettooooooe bitches I've seen in a while. I mean I know the blacks are aloof sometimes but fuck, the hoes on the show make Bobby and Whitney look like saints in all white. I don't know. I can't take too much of that show. That bitch New York she is ruthless with her game, I like her game but the bitch is a cold hearted villain who is walking down a tunnel of darkness. For some reason she has bitter amalgam in her mouth and it's fucking up her whole psyche...I can't.

I've come up with this. Good people always die early...we never fully appreciate the good they do and we always take them for granted...thats why the die early. If we start appreciating the good that people do to and for us, they'll be around longer. They won't die, physically or symbolically. Wicked people teach us how to be stronger...and they prep us better for what we'll have to go through in life...they never die because there will always be a situation that will test our strength...just like that wicked ass bitch that never seems to go away. Thats the way life works...

A thing about me is that I move way before I think. Well I think while I am in motion...like for instance, my magazine, I am planning out cover stories before I do finances...but that's how I work, I think about presentation and visual before I think about other stuff...Which is kinda what happened with my book, I thought about the cover and all that before I thought about printers, etc. I was successful, I mean I sold more than I projected...so if it works, it works. I have the cover story for the magazine...It's gonna be hot. Thinking about it gets my secret warm.

But thats all for now in the neighborhood...

No matter how much distrust there is in the world, trust this: you will always be able to find someone to be your loving friend.

I love you for reading!