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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

7.31.2006

YouZA HOE!

Whats going on Trent Jacksonites? MAAAAAN ARE THINGS GETTING HECTIC AROUND THE TRENT JACKSON CAMP!! A book coming out in less than a month....I really forgot how hard it was to get the shit done! With the computer issue and all, I've been spending my time in re-write 101, not to mention, it still has to go to editing and then the re-write with the editor. I think this time around I've selected a good editor that can work on a tight deadline! So that's whassup...

Other than that, I've been doing pre-promotion stuff and I have a strong feeling that this book is going to do much better than the first...and I am excited about what the future holds! In between time, I've been spending time with the boy, banging LeToya's Cd (which is most def bang worthy...) and being hanging out with Darian...

This week, I am finishing off the book (again), before I head to Vegas to see Toni Braxton! I am so pumped about that...and my upcoming trips to ATL and NYC. Plus I am doing interviews for all of my personnel for the NTRC8TE BLISS BOOK TOUR (my assistants, publicists, etc) so I am like...MAN!!

But I've been taking time to breathe and get some new ideas!

It's early as hell, no one has put out my burning craving for a Honey BBQ Wing from KFC...so I need that to happen and soon.

But I'm working and everything is well...I made a new discovery this weekend too...and make some other observations, but I'll save that for tomorrow...

I love yall! Yall are too tha bomb!
Darian, Me & Steve
Circa 2006
Abbey Bar, West Hollywood, Ca

7.25.2006

Pharrell, LeToya & My Findings.

I'm a fan of Pharrell. It doesn't help that he's hot. But he takes risks, he dares to be different. Do I dare call him a trendsetter? Okay...sometimes he gets repetitive...but his latest effort, In My Mind is an excellent buy! I don't know about you, but I like listening to music that I can shake my ass to, while I am getting ready for work. I need upbeat music on the way to the gym or while navigating through traffic...In My Mind is a daytime CD that will keep you going...think, the "Janet" album...You Want This, If, Because Of Love...when the bitch was dancing for the GAWDS...Pharrell gives me that with, Number 1 and Young Girl. There are a few groove tracks on the CD. But it's what we've been waiting for Pharrell to do for years. He tricked us with the N.E.R.D CD, He got us again with The Neptunes Present: CLONES. While we were all sitting around wondering he's producing these hot tracks for Jay-Z, Toni Braxton, Kelis, Robin Thicke, Britney Spears...when is he gonna hook his self up? Well he did that...does he call that singing in that falsetto...It's Cute though. He even opens up about his life on the ode to his "BEST FRIEND" Chad. With lyrics that will challenge you to think and enough collaborations by Snoop, Nelly & Slim Thug that actually don't irritate you, Pharrell gets the TRENT JACKSON STAMP of approval.

Beyonce's Love-Child reject, LeToya was getting my 12.00$ either way it went, because someone needs to show Beyonce's bald ass that the world doesn't revolve around her and some is actually capable of stepping out of the lock and iron of the Matthew-Tina Knowles concentration camp and being productive and successful in their own rite. I believe Solange, still has a chance. However, Miss. LeToya, delivers! Happy to say that the CD actually sounds better than I initially thought. LeToya comes through with a mid-mellow tone that seduces you over a hot-ghetto-summer track...think Aaliyah and One In A Million, with a lot more girly attributes. Although Aaliyah's hair was LAID at every angle...In which LeToya should retire that 20 track weave and leave the 20 tracks to her studio sessions LeToya still gives me face. I always thought she was the cutest girl in Destiny's Boot Camp, if you disagree, thoroughly study ,
"The Writings On The Wall Album." (But wait, did LeToya do a slight touch up to that nose...)LeToya is giving me the laid back vibe something to put on while you're chillin on the weekend with your boo, or she can easily be the backdrop of a social event with a lil' liquor and a nice cuisine. She is giving it to me on, "All Eyes On Me," "What Love Can Do," "Obvious," and "This Song." She could have really left "Hey Fella" off the CD, for some reason that song just throws the CD off for me. For LeToya also gets the TRENTJACKSON STAMP of approval for a few spins on my weekly play list and a constant stay in my ever growing 60GB I-Pod...

Mean While Back At The Trent Jackson Ranch...

I was on the phone with Al, while getting over my issues with loosing my book, while doing crunches, and watching myself on television. I got up and was cleaning up my room and found something I wrote 2 months ago:

Insecurity. We all have it. Gossip. Everyone does it. Pain. We all have to deal with it. Love. Is what we want, strive for, but not enough of. Acceptance. Is what we need. Exempt. We are not. Issues. We all have them. I guess the question is, how will we deal? How will we cope? Will we be defeated? Do we know that we are the triumphant? Does it, define who we are? Life is about choice. Your actions, the outcomes. We all choose to come...FULL CIRCLE, whether we want to believe it or not. May 1, 2006 at 1:07 P.M. in one of my many moodswings.

7.24.2006

MONDAY MADNESS...

Without the audio...

Hey everyone...I hope yall had a great weekend! Thank you for all of the hotline calls and the emails regarding the show! I'll be playing some of this weekends messages on Wednesday's Show. I appreciate your comments, so very much!

Well, I finished the book this weekend! I dedicated 8 hours on Saturday and on Sunday morning at 3:40 a.m. Full Circle was a wrap...PERMANENTLY! My computer crashed and so did my book! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!??? YOU KNOW I WAS PISSED! I WOKE EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE UP!! I called people on the phone, I even called 911. I was pissed. This was not supposed to happen! MAC'S don't crash! Beyond that, my I-Pod was erased, my custom playlists were gone, my photo shoot pictures! Every thing! But for a second I had hope, because I turned on my auto-save (every minute mind you...) on Word, so my book was complete.

Well, there was no book. When I finally got the data back, It was auto-saved at page 117. So I had to go back and greatly enhance my book. I don't do manual notes. Everything is brain power, so it looks like I'll have to have another power session to get the book done.

I know my haters are reveling in the mishap...but it's cool though, cause my shit is still on schedule...so talk trash now, cause you'll be silenced later.

Other than that happening, Sunday was family day...that was cool, nothing major. A little bonding, a little planning to purchase some new real estate...and why were we planning Thanksgiving? But more so, why the fuck was it 99 degrees last night at 10:30. Thats the real question.

You must go over to Rockas site! IMMEJIATELY! CIARA'S VIDEO IS OVER THERE. THAT BITCH IS SERVING IT! She is the next Janet...and Pharrell came sick with some dance tracks on his CD, In My Mind which hits stores tomorrow along with LeToya Luckett. But my favorite track on Pharrell's Cd so far is, Young Girl/I Really Like You, featuring Jay-Z.

UM...Yahoo Group Members...Check Up On It. Why am I in love with that boy? I can't get over it...Should I really be this excited by him? I don't know...SHHH, Trent, stop thinking outloud. Oh, you might want to hit up the hotline and get those plugs in, I'm feeling really generous this week. 1-888-711-5899.

A lot of stuff going on this week...Especially on Wednesday. Janet Jackson's Video Premier...Trent Jackson's Witty Wednesday....hmmm.

7.20.2006

Almost...

In 10 Days...
New Project
New Website...
Tomorrow...
The Season Premier Of:
In The Mix With Trent

7.19.2006

You Know....

I really am crazy!

I was listening to some of my old shows and just gagging for dear life at some of the things that I've said...and with this Friday's show coming up...they're only going to get worse.

Believe it or not, I have a lot of integrity and it's never my INTENTION to HARM PEOPLE, OFFEND THEM in any way, shape or form, and a lot of the times I stop and think about how something is going to affect them. Because what if it were me in that position...I'm talked about all the time, for some reason, if things are true it doesn't bother me. But when people lie on me or say something that totally didn't happen, I get pissed, because I'd rather people know the truth. Not some made up fictional account about what happened...you feel me?

I had a few targets last season that habitually talked about...and seeing them in public recently...They were repulsed by me...and I was repulsed by them as well. We still spoke and we still were cordial. Although it isn't my style to talk shit then speak to you, for some reason I felt inclined to keep it cool. Was it because I was around people I respected? Was it because the parties knew that what I said about them was warranted, because they knew they were out of line FIRST...although that doesn't constitute stupidity, ignorance or ill will on my part...but still I am Trent. They gonna say what they gotta say and so will I.

I talk about whatever I am going through. Good, ,bad, ugly. I keep it real. I talk about life, experiences...the shit that we all go through. Everyone needs to hear, see and experience someone that is vocal, expressing themselves on shit that we all go through. I think people appreciate that. With that being said...SEASON TWO...LMAO.

On a lighter note, I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to someone very dear to my heart...Mr. Alphonso Morgan. Happy Birthday!!! Alphonso is a very special person to me...and I am very protective of him, so you thirsty bitches stay away from him! THATS MINE!!! GOT IT? I'm very happy to call him a friend, to have the bond that is truly UNBREAKABLE no matter how much these hoes hate on my connection with him. Al, I wish you the best on your birthday, I know your ass reads my blog...and yes I know July is over, but we've skipped the pattern, that's because we are breaking it in the first place! I LOVE YOU! Happy Birthday!

Also I want to say Happy Birthday to the young homie Chris Bilal! I've got my eye on you!

Yahoo Group Members...Check out the Files section of the page So check it out and let me know what you think.

Um hello, THE BLACKS! I did not get that info back from you! Don't play me. Turn off Keyshia Cole and get with the program!

Until tomorrow folks, I've got a hot outing to go to tonight...I'll let you know about that. Until tomorrow folks. Thanks for reading, although yall are being silent collaborators in crimes against Trent Jacksons' Ego. Oh and Marz....we've gotsta talk!

7.17.2006

Out On A Limb...

As my personal life becomes more complex and more boring by the day, my work life is getting a lot more tense...especially with this pre-promoting for the new book. But I appreciate all of the challenges! I'm learning more and more each day.

This past weekend was draining. I actually stayed at my day job a completed 40 hours! I can't believe it. I always leave 2 hours early just to get work done and to stay on my writing schedule, my promoting schedule and my gym schedule. Not to mention whatever else may come up!

Friday was cool. I was actually able to escape L.A. for a day and clear my head and kinda get back on track. I went down the coast to San Diego with him & company and just kinda hung out. Didn't make any real plans, just drove down and did whatever. It was relaxing...just to chill on the cliff and not be bothered!!

I checked out the L.A. premier of Dirty Laundry! I'll save my critique and a lot of other stuff that I need to get off my chest on my first show of season 2 of In The Mix With Trent, this Friday, July 21st!

I'm rather tired! I thank you for all of your support and concerns! I'll be back before you know it.

7.12.2006

Live Life Like You Never Been Hurt...

Getting back on track...after spending the day looking at the big picture...
I've realized that I, we, are all human.
We are not without flaw,
we are not exempt of temptation,
we act before we think...

But we should never let people disrespect us, take our kindness for weakness or allow people to wreak havoc in our lives! Aren't you tired of that? Situations just all up in your life causing roadblocks, right when you tryin' to get your shit together!

I totally forgot to blog yesterday, but I didn't want to further talk about my issues with obvious people that infiltrated my circle like a disease. But everything happens for a reason, at least you know who buckles under pressure.

I know that I am totally tired of donating my time to deal with angry, highly unstable people who have nothing better to do than drag people into their chaotic lifestyle. If I wanted to further induce myself in such folly I would talk to my mother or any of the other wackos I am related to...that's a different story, different day.

In life we all go through challenges, periods, drama, whatever and it seems as if that everyone has had their fair share this past week if not this month. I swear this small ass shit stressed me out. Had me off my diet and damn near out of breath when I got back on track....it's all for the better. The lessons I've learned out of this:
  1. My expectations of the people I want in my life were reinforced if not changed.
  2. I have responsibility in every action and reaction.
  3. Loyalty is something that starts with you, then you will attract the people with the same expectations that you have.
  4. Don't sweat the small stuff. Everything is small. Keep it pushin!
  5. At The end of the day, all you have is yourself and Yaweh (God...).
  6. It's always good when people show their true colors upfront...instead of 10 years down the line...don't you agree?
  7. You, live, you learn and you learn to trust again, like you've never been hurt.
  8. Yaweh always sends two or three people to let you know It's gonna be okay. He sent Kareem, Deondray and Eric. All it takes is one genuine statement, right when you need it, that makes all the difference in the world.
  9. What goes around comes around. You do good, good will come back 10 fold. You do evil and be startin' shit...watch how fast your ship sinks.
  10. I'm truly blessed. I'm blessed abundantly, I've been allowed to bless others...
  11. Always keep your friends separate.
  12. Season, Reason, Lifetime. You'll always find out right when you need to.
I pray that you are continually blessed.
I pray that you are given the strength to face adversity each day.
I pray that you are released from mental strain, physical strain!
I pray that you do not go unrecognized for your talents, for your contribution, for making the difference!
I pray that your enemies will be your footstool! ESPECIALLY THAT BITCH IN THE OFFICE THAT WORKS YOUR LAST NERVES...GOD KNOWS YOUR HEART, KEEP IT REAL.
I pray that your, our, families are strengthened and preserved and learns the meaning of LOVE.
I pray that relationships and friendships are strengthened for the better. We go through trying times. In life it's hard to find people that we can trust but GOD will send and restore faith in your, our, hearts!
I pray that your financial burdens are free and your are blessed and rewarded with things that you can see, touch, use and share.

WE WILL NOT BE STOPPED. WE WILL CONTINUE TO BE FRUITFUL IN OUR LIVES. WE WILL NOT LET DEPRESSION, HEARTACHE, CONFUSION, TRAPS OF THE ENEMY GET THE BEST OF US! WE ARE STRONG, COURAGEOUS, BOLD, VICTORS! FOR WE ARE BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED!

PEOPLE BE BLESSED THIS WEDNESDAY AND LIVE LIFE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT!

IN THE NAME OF YAWEH!

7.10.2006

Bitches Wanna Ack Real Brand Nu Around This Bitch...

You know, I am kinda mad that my show is on hiatus...but the kids are giving me so much material for the new season it's ridiculous. As soon as I take a break, my phone lines are lighting up and the bloggers are cuttin' up. From sex parties to drug binges, I don't know what to talk about first. People are trying to make me come back from vacation. The beauty of it is, people always call and report what's going on. And I hear the same story 8 times from 8 different people! I'm starting to get real nervous...and act highly unstable. Although I am aware that people are taking my mild celebrity into consideration, especially if it's a Tuesday or Thursday night. PEOPLE, IT ISN'T NECESSARILY A GOOD THING IF I TALK ABOUT YOU ON MY BLOG OR MY SHOW, JUST ASK RAY! I guess people will make it about them even if it makes them look bad. People just love my all white outfit...

It was so nice running into Jason Cooper in Los Angeles this weekend! I ran into him at this panel discussion, a meeting of the minds so to speak about Minority representation in the media. My two friends that I love to death, Quincy and Deondray were on the panel, along with Maurice Jamal, who is here promoting his new film, Dirty Laundry which will be shown next weekend. I also ran into the ever so popular, anonymous model, who've I've seen three weeks in a row now. I'm sure there is a picture of us floating around somewhere! He's so nice to me. I also ran into my fellow podcast star, Steven of Pink Mafia Radio. A lot of you guys subscribe to both our podcasts, he's such a nice man! It's so refreshing to hangout with non-pretentious, real gay people, who totally don't give a fuck about their celebrity status, OR PRESUMED CELEBRITY STATUS FOR THAT MATTER...so much more of my crowd. Older, mature, real, serious, people who understand that it isn't ABOUT THEM. What a relief! Just when you think you're going crazy, God sends a nice group of people to make up for all the negroidianbuffoonerysamboism that you've been dealing with the last week of your little pink life. It was so kick back, I went and I didn't have to worry about make up! Finally I can go somewhere and be regular! I blend in for once!

So I spent the weekend working on my book and putting together the new website which should be launching in about a week or so. Then we'll have the pre-sale of the book...then we'll have the book and then the book tour!

Nonetheless, I'm tired, I've been busy...so I'll end it here thanks for your shade, support, sabotage and trickery! One late fag will never stop the show. It's not over until THE FAT BITCH NAMED TRENT JACKSON SINGS!

7.06.2006

Do Unto Others, Before They Do Unto You!

Woodwork: A place or state of concealment, seclusion, or anonymity (I don't understand why these niggas is commin' out of the damn woodwork after they done fucked up!)

I'll say it once, I'll say it again. You, can't. I mean, it's just so impossible to be nice to these people in 2006. I mean you give them a laugh, you give them a nice lunch, you may even give them head, but they just can't take people treating them with respect and being REAL with them. It's so hard for me to be an evil shystey bitch. It's just not in my blood.

So. My day job is getting great. I hated it at first. I was like UGH! When is this gonna be done! But I done passed probation, got my benefits pack, which is real cute and my boss likes me. I guess. I guess I am settling into the day job thing. Hmmm. I'm saying that to say I have this wonderful boss at work, Michelle. She is this German bred bird who is MAD COOL. She's one of those people that you look forward to everyday. She's personable, friendly, gots jokes and she's just real down to earth; humble. I love her. I can tell she does a lot to make her job flow smoothly. She's one of those people that is always doing for others, but no one ever does for her. I recognize that, because I am the same way. I don't really get involved personally with people at work...not enough to know what they like and all that, but just enough where they feel my personality so I can come to work without any stress. Michelle, definitely makes my day go smoother.

I know how important it is to tell people how you feel about them...and I appreciate Michelle very much. So when I came to work Monday, I got her this really nice Thank You card and a gift card to Starbucks cause I be peepin' her out in the mornings sometimes. She was so very appreciative, I saw tears well up in her eyes...fast forward to yesterday. After I got off an annoying call I went to her cubicle to say hello. She reiterated to me again how no one ever did such a gesture for her and how much she appreciated that and how I made her day. It had to be done! People need to be acknowledged for the good deeds that they do. People are so tired about hearing about fuck ups and all the negative things! Whatever happened to rewarding people for their good? I was just telling her that Small things make all the difference in the world. Just seeing Michelle smiling everyday...makes me smile.

It really annoys me that people have this "ALL ABOUT ME" attitude and they don't give a fuck about anyone else...walkin around like their shit don't STANK. Hell their shit is so funky their ass is chafing! I urge you people. Acknowledge the good that people do, starting with yourself. You never know what kinda impact you're making. I can guarantee you that one small genuine gesture will come back to you 10 fold.

So you know when you're out partying with fags, or when you're out partying period you have a tendency to run into people from your past. I'm the type a bitch to always speak, even if I know you hate me. Because I can rest at night! I have a clear conscious. 10 times out of 10 when people have problems with me, it's their issue not mine. They can't handle some aspect of me. Either they can't stand my sense of humor or I'm too...well, they end up jealous. If I don't like a bitch, I wont engage you and I am a pretty good judge of character. Saying all that leads me to saying I ran into Ghetto. Then he calls me on Monday, leaving me a message about are we still cool and what not and I am like....UGH...DUH? NO. He didn't get a call back...he is such a waste of my good heart. I put up with his shit way too long...and he wrote himself out, just like I wanted him to. He saved me a verbal slaying. But me ignoring him was enough to make him put on a straight jacket. I didn't even give him a COURTESY WARNING, it was straight to termination, which to me was far more severe.

Then the do I dare call him an EX (or whatever we call him) is back in the picture dwelling around. I don't know what to say or think. What are his intentions, I know he wants something. It isn't sex, he made that clear when his interest shifted to Trans-Sexuals. I have a certain amount of respect for him and I still love him because his heart is so...amazing to me. I love him because of the way I felt when I was with him...he's got a lot on his plate not to mention he's younger than me and is still grappling with his own issues, but I'm being silly. Waiting around hoping one day we can lay up in the bed again and talk about conquering the world. It's not about sex, it's about the understanding and the emotional attachment I, not we, I shared with him...sad thing when it's just you and not two.

I made a mends with Tre and that's a good thing. He and I have a lot in common and I kinda have a crush on him, despite the past...and despite of everything. He has the potential to be a good friend, but he just needs the right amount of attention and he needs to feel that he can trust you. I can give him that. Plus some, I really want to be a friend with him, but he just doesn't let people get that close to him...and it's understandable. It's 2006 and people just aren't into good Hallmark Cards anymore.

I'm single....I'm enjoying it.
I'm single....I'm hating it.
I miss him and him.
I still have a piece of that one and I can do without the other.

I still feel alone...
The closer I get to that point...the harder it will become for me to be with...

I can't believe it's Thursday...
Wait, that means tomorrow is another Best of Show...

7.05.2006

When Stupidity Raises It's Head...Beat It Down!

You know what I can't stand...

I can't stand it when people read my blog...especially when I want to talk about them. That annoys me. I like it when people read don't get me wrong. But I really gotta talk about this situation and I can't talk about it without the parties involved knowing. This is such a radio show moment. I mean I don't give a fuck, but I am not really in the business of pissing people off and just talking trash on my blog about them. I mean, it's apart of the fanfare, but there is a lot of stuff that I do keep private and keep for my own mental mass consumption.

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July. I woke up to watch the Space Shuttle lift off. I was so proud that it took off okay! Now we'll all be waiting for the next 12 days to see if Stephanie and her other crew members return safely. I am so happy for her, because she is such a phenomenal example of what hard work is all about. I remember a conversation that we had shortly after my Grandmother got murdered. She told me how I should never give up on my dreams and that no matter what happened, I always had myself to make sure that I succeeded in life. Stephanie told me how she would look up to the stars at night when she was little and wish that she could go up and explore space...and now she's on the Space Shuttle. WOW...It was her first mission today. Hmmm, maybe I can get her on my show. In fact....

I couldn't help but think about my favorite Uncle last night. He's in the Army and he's getting to go back to Iraq real soon. I was BBQ last evening and I was annoyed by all of the fire crackers going off...and I was just thinking, what must it be like to be in a place where that is all you hear all day and all night. Except it's nothing patriotic or fun about it. It's life or death.

I was really proud of myself. I worked on my book all last night into the wee hours of the morning. I chatted with my author buddy, Fred Smith off an on yesterday and the more I get closer to finishing 'Full Circle,' the more and more this, the sequel, is turning into a trilogy. I don't know how I feel about that.

It's so funny how the fags think. Tell me what's wrong with this picture. FOLLOW ME CLOSELY. Now, in real life, Trent is an extremely NICE, SHY, QUIET, PERSON. I'm very laid back and quite opposite of what some of you think I am...well unless I am putting on a show. But I am saying all that to say that there is this situation going on. I don't TOLERATE anyones SHIT. I am quick to put a bitch in place 1 time. I call it a COURTESY WARNING. The next time, I ain't gonna explain shit to you, I'm not gonna go out of my way and beg and plead with you. I ain't gonna ask you why...there will be no long drawn out lets go back and forth deal. IT'S DONE, END!

So this particular individual is extremely competitive. I don't mind, I like competition. Because at the end of the day, I know that I am a WINNER, regardless of what anyone says. I know that people know me, I know that I have a mild celebrity, but none of that means shit to me, fuck celebrity, I am person dammit! I am aware of it and thats the end of it. I don't walk around seeking attention like a baby. You know I am cool, if someone recognizes me, hey cool, if they don't I can live.

"Does anyone know Trent Jackson. Who knows you?" Is what the person said in a middle of a crowded party. MY GOSH HOW OBNOXIOUS CAN A PERSON BE? It annoyed the shit out of me, because I am not seeking approval from anyone but my damn self. So then this fool goes around asking people if they knew me. Drawing attention, queening out trying to be cute. I said nothing. My courtesy warning was issued only a week before, so I didn't need to go through the charade again, I made my point right?

Saturday comes, this nigger is calling the phone all damn day. Of course I pretended to be Faith Evans and I had to play YOU GETS NO LOVE. IGNORE! DONE! THANK YOU SAY NO MORE! THATS ALL!

So why all of a sudden is the nigga trying to further irritate me and kick it with my friends? Call them up? Invite them places, knowing that they are going to report. I mean, my friends have a loyalty with me, why doesn't he get that? I mean he's supposed to be all like that, where are his friends? UGH. I'm was done, until he accused me of liking someone he thought he liked. The killer is, he's called me every night telling me how he didn't like the guy, he didn't think he was cute, etc, etc. But of course everyone likes me when they meet me so he thought there was something going on between us. What a retard. I wish someone would send that late girl a memo and tell her I am not interested in anyone right now. None of these niggas have their shit together like I need them to have it together, maybe that should be my blog for tomorrow.

But I don't get it...
Why do people think that they can just talk to you and treat you any kinda way and then expect for you to be cool with it? BITCH PLEASE! I respect myself way too much for that to go down. He's obviously missed the memo, I'M TRENT JACKSON BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAATCH!

Everyone needs a sidekick, but Trent Jackson ain't everyone.

At the end of the day people, be careful of the bridges you burn. Because you will have to cross back over one day. The same people on the way up are the VERY same people on your crash back down.

It's the cycle of life...
And so it is.

7.04.2006

Interpretations...Independence.

INDEPENDENCE*1 : not dependent: as a (1) : not subject to control by others. (2) : not affiliated with a larger controlling unit b (1) : not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent independent conclusion> (2) : not looking to others for one's opinions or for guidance in conduct (3): not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood), to be free.

What does Independence mean to you?


Today...we, I, you, me...are we really free? We're all gathered around the backyard, jiving, bullshitting, smelling the aroma of burnt flesh, baked beans, Marvin Gaye's, Got To Give It Up...but a mere 41 years ago, my momma, yo grandmomma and nem couldn't vote. Independence. Some of us are slaves, mentally to ourselves, our situations and we really don't know how to find, recognize or even celebrate out personal independence.

Yesterday Lil' Kim got out of Jail. Independence has a whole new meaning for her.
We, I, You, take so much for granted...that we never really stop and think about how much INDEPENDENCE we think we have. Yes, for THE BLACKS, it's minimal, marginal...but lets look at the larger picture, our personal independence.

I can't help to think about the word and how it relates to my own life. Letting go of relationships, friendships that weren't good for me, that were not healthy to my mental. Being set free from my own issues that blocked my growth, my progress from becoming the better person I knew I had the potential to be.

The whole premise of INDEPENDENCE day is whack to me...cause I know I ain't really free. I'm still BLACK, i'm still a BLACK MAN, I'm still A BLACK, GAY, MAN, and I am still a BLACK, GAY, MAN, THATS OVERWEIGHT. I don't know. I'm not making much sense...so I'll stop here with the wannabe intellectual rambling.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch. Please pray for Ms. Stephanie D. Wilson, a longtime friend of the family, as well as NASA Astronaut, will be going up in Space today. Let's just hope her flight returns back to orbit safely...

So. I read "Drama Is My Middle Name..." It was interesting. I am just waiting on part two to see what happens to Miss. Ritz Harper. Today I read, Upstate, a novel by Kalisha Buckhanon. I was in Walmart on Sunday doing some browsing and I walked past the book section. Last summer Alphonso challenged me to read more, and I did, so this year I decided to read more again. It actually motivates me to write a lil' more. But "Upstate," was a very good and challenging read. When I am engaged I can read a book in a few hours just as I did this one...It's written in something I've never seen before. The book is a bout two teenagers in New York in the 90's. The Boy, Antonio gets locked up for "killing" his father. His girlfriend, Natasha is stunned, shocked, but in love. The story spans over 5 years but there is no narrative. The book is the couples correspondence...their letters back and forth. Their ups, downs, challenges, secrets, drama, heartache, lust, pain, and truth, professed in those jail letters. I had to put it down to digest a few of the things that was going on. I was left, like damn, how much does one have to go through in life...

The book is very dramatic. It is really appealing because people wonder what goes on in jail and we wonder why women, even stay, or communicate with their men while they are on lock down. All the questions you ever wanted to know about jail and trying to maintain a relationship with a person that's been in jail, read Upstate, you'll be up on your prison game. But...It's a good read. Go to Amazon to read the excerpt.

Tomorrow I'll be reading: "Madea's Uninhibited Commentaries on love and life: Don't Make a Black Woman Take off Her Earrings."


7.03.2006

I Have NO Time For Those NOVELTIES!!!!

HAAAAY PEOPLE!

First let me give a special shot out and a Happy Birthday to my boy Soulful4real! When I get down there I am gonna get you fucked up!!

I hope everyone had a great weekend! I had an interesting jam packed weekend. This past weekend was L.A.'s Black Pride weekend, so you know the kids were out giving shade, sabotage and trickery. While mocking some of their favorite actresses, while acting out scenes from their favorite movies and quoting their favorite lines. What a mess it was!!! It was entertaining, dramatic and foolish all in one. Hence the title.

Special Shot Out To: Bobby Brown...um I am gonna need you not to be vibey! But it's all good though. I hope all is well on your end and I didn't drown you out in my sorrows! But these people run me low! I try and stay in my realm and bang my own pussy out and people gotta come disturb me damn groove! FUCK! I see I am gonna have to crawl under a damn rock some fuckin' where and pretend I am a woman named Gilda Godiva or something...Meanwhile back at the ranch.

I give the kids two appearances for the year, at least. New Years and the Fourth of July weekend. Anything else depends on my mood. I just can't let these fags occupy too much of my fuckin' time. Cause if you do, you'll be reading yourself just like they do every time they look in the mirror...hmmmph.

Nonetheless, this weekend was eventful. I partied Friday, Saturday and Sunday, which is a rarity...I ran into some of my favorite people, Fred Smith, Quinn Carothers, Joe, Jeffrey King, Imani Phoenix and a few other movers and shakers that REALLY RUN THE CITY. They keep a low profile, just like I do. It's all about you know...you do know that right?

You know. More than anything, this past weekend was a confirmation of sorts. You know how when you know things (I know a lot of shit...) and you kinda ignore that small voice, just to give way...well maybe this time I could be wrong (but yet and still you know you're right)...hmmmph, go with that small voice, because who knows better than you? Some shit that was confirmed this weekend:

1. I'm not CRAZY. And there is nothing wrong with me!
2. People will go out of their way to push your buttons.
3. You can't be nice to everyone.
4. Knowing your place and who you are is important.
5. Standing up for yourself and what you believe in is crucial to your mental health.
6. Space is always needed!!
7. SELF VALIDATION is the only thing that matters. Fuck what others are talking about.
8. It's important to let go...and live.
9. Everything MUST be examined.
10.Never mix your friends!
11.Be EXTREMELY careful for what you wish or ask for! SERIOUSLY.
12. Oh and there is a B-Side to everything!

Oh and that fine man with the locks...that walked up to me at The Abbey last night and said " I read your blog everyday," not only was that flattery but it attested to the fact that I can relate to people. Cause when you're in a world wind trying to do something that people look down upon, you loose your way sometimes and you think that people can't relate to your struggle...and it also confirmed that I need to keep doing what I am doing. I appreciate you very much and it topped off my weekend, thank you for that!

Pics From The Weekend:

Me & Ray

Me & Daniel...
right after I danced the one time.

Me & My Boy from back in the day T

Been doing some reading. Doing some writing...and some breathing. See ya tomorrow!