Me

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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

10.31.2006

Brokenheart & A Wet Vagenis

I wonder what the kids are going to come up with tonight for Halloween. For some reason I am scared out of my wits to go outside the house today, especially since the fools at work are dressing up. Nigga I come to work in my costume everyday: Happy to be there, chipper like that white bitch at the front desk when I am really saying fuck you all, gimme my check on Friday and stay the fuck outta my way. I am so tempted to come to work out of costume and be a stone cold black-bitch-rebel...One day out of the year I can be myself in the corporate world...in fact, thats not a bad idea.

So besides recuperating from the obvious, I am actually enjoying life today. Thanks to Shawn for sending me a text message mid-morning it made me feel better. Seeing that I put Orlando and a few other people on ice...

I've been feeling really inspired today. I've never been one to limit myself to one thing in life, because I am aware of my talent (everyone else isn't) and I don't want to put myself in the "blogger" only box when I write, produce and do a lot of other things that I haven't shared yet. A few people have amazed me today. Everyday I learn something new about the talented pool of Black Gay men who shape our world to be a better Place:

Darian, The guy who I'm privileged to call a personal friend. Reading his blog everyday is inspiring. Just to see him so dedicated to providing a platform where people can get a mix of entertainment, politics, life and a bit of humor is hot! He's definitely making his mark on the world, be sure to check out his blog.

Alphonso, the man who has taught me so much about life and inspiring me on a daily basis. I'm fortunate to call him a friend too. He's a brilliant writer, he has a giving heart and a bigger spirit that a lot of people don't get to see.
The Queer Kid of Color, at only 18 he's trailblazing the new generation of Queer advocacy for minorities. He has a monthly column in Clik Magazine and he's producing/creating 2 Television series that I feel are going to change the face of not only television history, but black gay history. For him to be young, dedicated, smart, focused and determined helps me sleep better at night, knowing that someone is involved to make sure that our stories are told and our voice are heard.

Clarence Nero, who I'm very excited to meet. He'll be in Los Angeles next week to Promote his book, Three Sides To Every Story. Which came out earlier this month and has garnered much critical acclaim. His book, set in New Orleans, Pre-Katrina tales the story of Johnny, James and Tonya who are caught in a love triangle. Johnny who goes to jail for killing Tonya's ex, meets James in jail and you know what goes down from there...the story spills on to the streets after both their release...get the book to know the rest. Clarence is a cool guy and I'm sure there will be an interview from him very soon.



Although life sometimes gets in the way of what it is that we set out to do. But I'm living proof that you can find your own success with perseverance and determination.

What would you do if you couldn't fail?

10.30.2006

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

Why am I so fuckin stupid (LOVE)? I swear on my dead fathers grave that I am really about to have a conniption up in this muthafucka. Last week was the most hectic week ever (Wait aren't they all). I seriously need to get on the ball and quit playing, because the longer I allow people to dominate my thinking the longer it is going to take me to reach my pinnacle of success that I know that I deserve.

I can’t stand Orlando. I love him, but I can’t stand him. I actually thought that this time it was going to work, but I see it’s not. I’m the only one in our relationship. He’s a selfish, impatient, overindulgent, weak, delusional, narcissist. But all that is masked by his gregariously optimistic personality.

I kid you not; this muthafucka has no RESPECT for me what so ever. That should have been made clear when I was laid up in a hospital bed from a car wreck when he was at home fucking Daniel all over the house and to think he made the scorecard even. It wasn’t right for me to fuck James after our first big arguement, but I only did it because I knew that HE wasn’t fully involved in the relationship and plus I was mad, I knew he was out doing his dirt and I wasn't about to go out not to get mine either, especially since he wants to ack funny when... Two wrongs don’t make a right. Maybe it was my karmic revenge coming back, I deserved it, but I am still the one holding the glue in this relationship together. I’m slowly melting.

When he gets enough gall to call me (I am not calling him because I am tired of the one making issues out of everything, even if it is out of love) I am ending this shit. I told him two days ago, when you are with me, don't make any plans after me cause you are with me . At Shanice’s party last night he taps me on the shoulder at 11 talking about lets go cause he has to go hang out with a "friend." Nigga Déjà vu, except neither one of is Beyonce. Friends don’t hang out at 11 at night. I told him, days ago, when he pulled this same stunt at Don Antonio’s that I wasn’t a time filler and I am not coming second to these other niggas that don’t mean shit to you...I mean I was there when his brother died, I cooked for his family, I had his back and none of his friends even showed up to the funeral. I drove an hour and sat there out of love, concern and support but he wants to act stupid...he knows he's fucked up. That’s why I am not saying shit to his dumb ass; this is exactly why the car ride home last night was silent and still. Then the nigga had the nerve to ask for a hug before I even cut the car off.

This is what I am talking about; it dawned on me in my sleep. All of my relationships are like the ones with my mother, a volatile loveæhate. Some days you like them and some days you wish they would just fall off...Why and the hell do I keep attracting these bastards that doesn't even know how to be a friend? I wouldn’t pull 1/10 of the shit these niggas pull. But, this is apart of my balancing act that I am conquering before the end of the year.

And speaking of my bitch ass mother. We already know how I feel about her. I can’t wait to see her face crack in half when this new deal goes through. All the fat, stupid, non-talented jokes she’s sneered at me on the side, while trying to play supportive mother in the public eye…will eat her rotten demonic soul alive. This will be for all of the stacks of newspaper articles I’ve written that sat in envelopes by the floor that remained unopened in college. Motivation.
I made it through the week, after they tried to hospitalize me twice for my blood pressure being so high.

Orlando and my punk ass excuse for a mother driving me bananas, more so him. Cause he lied and said he would be there and he wouldn’t. I told him my dreams and he pretended to listen. I talked till I was blue in the face and he didn’t hear me. He played with my sister and she loves him. And to think I was going to make a home with him and wake up next to a gorgeous man who doesn’t even love himself as much as Tarrance loves him makes me sick to my stomach. I have to give it up. All that lip service followed up by asinine actions should have stopped me a long time ago. I’m better than this. I deserve way more than what I am getting. It was fun while it lasted. And entertaining the thought of him in my life forever was grand…but I see, just as it’s always been, it’s just me….and my alter ego.


10.26.2006

So....

I just got in from an interesting night out with him.

He was supposed to be at my house earlier in the day, but something, as usual came up. I didn't trip just as long as he is upfront with me I can handle the delay, cause I'm a procrastinator and more than likely, I ain't gonna be ready anyway, so it's all good.

When he finally got here, it was after seven, (ready or not). I had just gotten back from the hospital. The Dr. put me on these meds for my stress headaches, so we'll see how they work out...

Nonetheless, the night was without incident.

I ask him when we get in the car, salad or Mexican...it could go either way. He said salad...great cause since I am on pretend diet 34 C for the year it was all good. He knew where we were going, and he waits all the way until we get there to decide that he didn't want salad (mind you we got out of the car and walked to the door when he told me he changed his mind). So he's like there's Baja Fresh next door. NO! I wanted authentic Mexican food.

If you ever come to L.A. or you're in L.A. one of the hot spots for Mexican food and killer margarita's is Don Antonio's over on Pico Blvd. So the wait is thirty minutes...he decides that's too long because "his friend" may call and he may have to go take him his birthday card. I WAS PISSED!

Don't ever place me on a time limit or use me as a time filler. What the fuck do I look like? Not to mention you're canceling quality time on me to go give some random as nigga a birthday card and you couldn't even show up to my party! YOU STAYED ON THE PHONE WITH ME THE NIGHT OF MY PARTY and not only that YOU WERE WITH ME AND MY FRIENDS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY! SO KISS MY ASS NIGGA!

Don't think I didn't let him have it, especially since I had to SETTLE for BAJA FRESH 20 MINUTES AWAY FROM THE ORIGINAL LOCATION. I SWEAR NIGGAS DON'T BE ON THAT ACK RIGHT...
I bit into his ass like a baby bites a teething biscuit. He didn't want none. Hmmm. I bet that will be the last time he pulls a stunt like that.

I told him the next time he has plans before or after we hangout (and it better not be after cause the only thing you need to be doing after me is fucking me or going to bed, fuck hanging out with "the boys,") I need not to be involved in plans that night, because spending time with me has no limits. UNDERSTAND? -WHERE IS THE DANISH WHEN YOU ARE STRESSING-

After our brief argument (the first where we actually made up on the spot...he's working on it)
we tipped over to starbucks and to The Abbey, where we have been attempting to complete our slated-1 day project (now day 3) met a drunk white woman who insisted on buying us drinks...I was leary, he obliged.

The night ended...but before that, I got out of the car to go pick up my prescription on the way home, he took control of my I-Pod as I got out. I didn't realize it, but...when I got back in the car, some familiar music was playing. It was very crafted, hand picked...It was a play list, "Thinking About My Baby..."

10.24.2006

The High Road...I Missed The Memo.

I don't know how or why I missed the memo that along side DIDDY'S Album which is sure to be a mist of yesterday, JoJo released her sophomore set, The High Road.

I thoroughly enjoy JoJo and all she has to offer. Her first album which debuted a few years back is one of my favorites and it was really slept on. But we finally got around to giving the white girl, who actually holds a torch to Christina Aguilera, Beyonce, and Monica...her due ex post facto, disc 1.

The new set The High Road, didn't quite give me what I needed, not to say it wasn't a good or a solid album, I am getting really tired of CD's that have that same identifiable beat/track/sound to them, think Rodney Jerkins or the Neptunes when they first came out.

The CD isn't what I would have expected from the girl who isn't singing from her 16 year old training bra, but instead putting her diaphragm to good use on her lead single, Too Little, Too Late. Lyrically the album is there, vocally the album is there although she could have really showed out and showed us what she's workin' wit...production wise, she could have come with a better sound that actually would have catapulted her to the R&B realm in which she could possibly stand on her own two feet and pay some veterans dust with one note. Needless to say, JoJo reminds me of what Christina Aguilera use to be.

JoJo is one of those artists that get their recognition long after their time...but the scenario reminds me alone of Brandy. We liked her but we didn't, but when Full Moon came out that CD put her on the map and unfortunately I don't think we'll ever see that pinnacle again from her. I wish JoJo can get to that Full Moon point, put out a CD that we can lock in a time vault and put on our top 10 CD list of all time...

The album is okay, I purchased the album and was kinda shaky. I admit it's gonna take me a minute to get into this CD...maybe a week or two, but the way I am feeling right now I need someone who is going to come with it on track 1 and not play me.

JoJo...you're playing me...

Standout Tracks:
Like That
Anything
The Way You Do Me
Coming For You.

I'm in between....

10.23.2006

Thank You For Being A Friend...

"...Sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows your name, dah-dah-dah..."

But as of late, I haven't been feeling that way. I FINALLY got out of my funk and hung out with two of my friends that I haven't enjoyed in a really long time. My girl Jiaia and my married with-child-friend, Donisha. We went to my favorite brunch spot yesterday (the one I've been trying to take that boy to, but he don't be on that ack-right when I wanna go) sat out on the water had about two bottles of champaigne and got it right...

It felt good just to release and catch up with people who KNOW YOU and ACCEPT YOU. We talked about our relationships, what were learning, what we've been through, what we're going to do to change...in addition to that, I finally found a therapist that I enjoy...

I've been juggling a lot...that's always going to be...but I finally got my moment of clarity for me. I'm back to give you your weekly dose of Trent...

I had to take a break, while I realize that I am here to make you laugh, cry and think...it's unfair when no one is in that place to do it for me.

Yeah, I have friends and people who support me, but who's gonna REALLY do it for me?
It's all apart of that balancing problem I have...

In the meanwhile, I'll be enjoying the views in my new room....

10.17.2006

Girl, Sit Down and Fall Back.

I'm not one for rap or hip hop, unless it's DJ Quik, who is my favorite, ultimate rapper. I used to like Ludacris, but um, he has gotten pretty weak over the years...which leads me to Sean, I used to dance in backgrounds while catching the bus back and forth from Howard U to NYC to be Andre Harrell's main squeeze, only to figure out I was gay, to change my name from Puff Daddy, Puffy, P-Diddy, all the while making a press release each time only to drop it to Diddy.

But I can't forget how you used proactive before Jessica Simpson and Vanessa Williams, made a bitch-hiss-fit out of it...I mean damn Puffy were you the guinea pig for proactive? Airbrush....

Okay girl. Your latest attempt to revive your "Bad Boy," label which has been on a jet fueled-rocket ship to hell because you let groups like 112 and TOTAL go, you could have kept Carl Thomas and Faith but you chose to let your claim to fame be B.I.G. which ironically was the BIGGEST thing literally and figuratively...well wait, there was Faith, prior to hanging out with Whitney...anyway, what was I saying?

Oh, Miss. Puffy, sit down. Your latest TRASH...blah. Why do I even waste my time girl? 20 tracks of trash....This girl had the nerve to sit up and enlist a guest star on each track...all that shit sounds like trash, however there are like 7 tracks worth downloading.

Special Feeling Featuring, Mika Lett
Tell Me, Featuring, Christina Aguilera
Wanna Move, Featuring, Big Boi, Ciara and Scar (is he from the Lion King)
Last Night, Featuring Keyshia Cole
Through The Pain, Featuring Mario (Puffy's Boyfriend) Winans
Partners For Life, Featuring Puffy's Other Boyfriend Jamie Foxx

BLAH. Done. Don't buy this shit...lets remember Puffy and his contribution to "All About The Benjamins"

10.16.2006

Habitual not Seasonal

403 posts later, the ones who have read me from the start or keep up with me, can almost pinpoint the exact moment when I am going to take an unscheduled, life-sponsored sabbatical. The thing is you never know how long they are going to last...

It's over.

As hard as is it for me to admit, publicly, I have a balance problem. I've always had it and I don't think that I can fix it...or i don't know which way to go about fixing it. I've either always done too much or not enough. Said too much or didn't say anything. Did too many things at once...trying to please everyone, you get it.

Trying to go to work everyday, ( even if it's just for the medical benefits, lunch and out of pure boredom) re-finish a book that I've finished twice, edit a TV show, record a radio show twice a week, be a friend, plan my 25th birthday party, be a part-time celebrity, argue an breakup 25 times with my on again off again boyfriend not to mention try and get all this extra guttage that has been there for too long. It sounds like nothing, but it's a whole lot...

I work on my issues....but as of late my issues have been more personal than professional. Although right before I went into production for my book in late August my whole team fell apart, so aside for reshuffling the deck trying to find a new editor, tweak the cover and hire new personnel, I've been pissed and stressed...with people who can't communicate and keep their end of a deal. It sends me in a blitzed frenzy, fucks with my credibility as an artist and makes me look like an idiot in front of the whole world.

So while I have to rewrite my game plan for Full Circle and my personal life...I've figured out that the later is seasonal and everything happens for a reason. This isn't the first time this has happened.

My week ended on a good note, I was depressed all of last week, excuse me for not giving you a show...I read the emails.

I've been spending a lot of time with myself. I've been working out more...and reading my book...for clarity.

I made up with him...

I'm enjoying life again and I'm ready to get things into action...

Thank you Lalah for the treadmill chat. Steve thank you for brunch and being in my face even when I don't feel like looking or talking to anybody. M-Roc, thank you for finally opening up and saying what needed to be said. Carlyn thank you for understanding my decisions and not judging what I do...you understand and that's all I ever wanted.

10.12.2006

Thoughts on a Thursday...

1. Who do people think they be foolin? I mean lookin’ you dead in the eye and lying like that? So unattractive.
2. Just when you get ready to put somebody on full blast, they come with a lame email or a phone call. Bitch PAHLEASE…is that really supposed to stop me from letting people know not to fuck with yo’ silly ass.
3. Don’t you date someone to become something more?
4. Why you gotta lie Craig?
5. That picture has definitely been photo shopped.
6. Silence isn’t always the best answer.
7. I’m really feelin’ Monica’s song, “So Raw.”
8. You can have all the ambition in the world but if you ain’t focused or determined, where u gonna go?
9. Why do people waste so much time talking about how people are flaky, then they become flakes too?
10. It just now dawned on me that people know who I am. If one more person yells Trent Jackson while I am walking down the street…First it was Target, then it was the clubs, then the grocery store…I should re-think this.
11. Somebody has to tell the truth.
12. Codeine does not work for a bruised rib…and if they don’t take this girdle looking thing off of me.
13. I don’t understand people who don’t or won’t work.
14. 2007 is my year.
15. I don’t feel bad about writing that book anymore. Just when you start to second-guess your ability here comes someone new to say “thank you, for writing that.” It truly does bring a smile to my face.
16. Would you believe me if I told you that I had sex with a girl on Monday and I actually enjoyed it? Does this mean I am Bi?
17. I want that baby.
18. Of course he thinks I don’t know…but I do.
19. People can see through it. You may not mind many people, but you’re gonna mind somebody.
20. The past is apart of your present and your future.
21. Believe in yourself and everyone else will too.
22. Great love and great success means taking a big risk.
23. I wish people would take responsibility for their actions.
24. “Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly…”
25. Allow yourself to breathe and think…Solitude is important.

10.11.2006

Musical Interlude

You know. I couldn't possibly record another sad love song tonight.
I was too pissed and too amped to go another spiteful rage at my FRIEND.
So I have to take a break. I'm sorry. I sat there and I tried very hard...but It kept going back to me being nice.

I try to hard to make it work, but I wish niggas would stop finding things wrong with me! The only thing I am guilty of is loving his silly, clown ass.

Anyway.

I did want to mention, Ellen Levar's new show, Hair Trauma. Ellen is the Weave-A-Diva to the stars and her new show debut's tonight on WE. Check it out.

Meanwhile enjoy the music...

10.10.2006

My Favorite Hollywood Couple.


Have you ever met or saw someone and you just knew that they belonged together? Well, that's what I've always said about Kenny Lattimore & Chante Moore. I had the privilege to meet them earlier this year...and their glow of love is so abundant and sincere, just thinking about it gives me hope to look forward to will come.

Today is the day that they released, Uncovered/Covered, the follow-up to their 2003 CD, Things That Lovers Do, which in my opinion was the best cover CD of classic Soul/R&B songs of all time.

Kenny and Chante are two people that I really enjoy in R&B music. Whenever they come out with new music I rush to get it, because it's never a disappointment, always refreshing to hear them, a true relief from radio trash! UGH!

I can’t provide a full review, simply because it is a double disc plus, when you have artists that have lyrical and vocal ability you have to listen 3 times harder than you usually do. Because you get things vocally that Beyonce or Usher can’t do. Not that Kenny and Chante are to be compared to such mediocre talent, cause there is no comparison-but, you have to pay attention to Kenny’s low range that is trembling to the spinal cord and Chante’s upper register, a la Minnie Ripperton.

Just on first listen you are taken by the couples rendition of ‘Love Ballad.’ It opens with a thin, warm, crisp like whisper from Chante that is on point, that takes you back to her Precious CD (yes I’ve been a fan from the gate).

The R&B CD boasts a cover of Sade’s ‘No Ordinary Love,’ that Kenny and Chante work over to the point where you think it’s their original song. It fits them perfect because it is truly autobiographical for them.

Kenny and Chante bring some original tunes, including my personal Favorite “Figure It Out.” It’s about a couple who needs some space-to make their relationship better. Some other standout tracks on the R&B disc include, ‘The Good Life,’ ‘Tonight (2 Step),’ and ‘Vocal Booth.’

It’s obvious that Kenny & Chante love the lord, not only cause they made a gospel CD, but have both publically spoke about their relationship with God not to mention Kenny has included at least one gospel track on each of his albums (It takes you to listen to ‘Healing’ from his weekend album on repeat…that low range is a force to be reckoned with. NOT A ONE MALE VOCALIST CAN DO THAT IN R&B, SO FALL BACK)

The gospel disc, which I am still listening to at 4 a.m. is giving me a nice contemporary feel which is easily enjoyable…although, not to say that it’s not present, but I haven’t heard a gospel song that has put me in that ‘mood.’ You know the kind where you want to fall out and do a pentecostal two step while crying cause you’ve been convicted when go to church. However, the gospel CD boasts tracks, ‘To Me, You’re Everything, ‘Your Name,’ ‘I Give You My Praise,’ and ‘I Just Love To Praise You.’

The couple definitely did something different. A gospel and an R&B CD. They did more than pull it off. Many people can try something, but very few are effective at it. I love them as a couple but I love them as a duo, their love and talent truly compliments each other. There is no ego, no bigger star. That is a beautiful thing to see, to hear and experience. It just further annoys me how uberly talented people never get their due. Both artists are phenomenal.

Never been a fan? Get the CD you’ll understand why Trent Jackson gives them his STAMP OF APPROVAL and you’ll want to go back and get their CD’s a Solo Artists.

Chante Moore:
Precious (Love’s Taken Over, It’s Alright, I wanna Love like that again)
Love Supreme (Thank You For Loving Me, Mood, Searchin’, I’m What You Need)
This Moment is Mine (Chante’s Got A Man, Easy, I cry to myself,)
Exposed (Straight Up, Love’s Still Alright, Better Than Makin’ Love)

Kenny Lattimore:
Kenny Lattimore (For You, Forever, Just What It Takes, Always Remember)
From The Soul Of Man (Trial Separation, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Well Done)
Weekend (Can U Feel Me, Weekend, Healing, Right Down To It)


10.09.2006

Balance

It's different when there is a friendship and years are invested.

I'm the type that's usually cut and dry when ending relationships, either we are or we aren't. It's very rare that I remain friends with someone that I've been romantic with, because in all honesty the shit is hard to do. When we say that things won't change, they will because we'll be pissed at the next person that they date, keeping a close eye on every thought and action. There has been only one other person that I've been in a relationship with and remained close with, maybe that's because he was very upfront with me, that I can respect versus this clown who is still trying to figure out shit.

I see potential in people. That is one of my greater character traits and it's also one of my biggest curses, because not only do I see potential in people, I rarely ever see them maximize it or it takes forever, usually after I've extended their three chances to 10 and it's 6 months later and I am out of the picture. Then the next fool gets to reap the benefits of my hard work or I am completely turned off and they are trying their damned best to get my attention again.

Nonetheless, this wasn't a great weekend.

I almost died on Friday after being in a near fatal collision. I had to be cut out of the car, but luckily I walked away with a bruised rib. The shit hurts especially since I sleep on my side. I spent the weekend avoiding that dumb boy after he wanted to break up for the 20th time only to come around like nothing happen and flirt which really pushed me over the edge. Then after my near death experience, he told me that he didn't want to see me because his ex was coming over to spend the night...lol, which I think is real cute. But I am supposed to answer my phone on Saturday while I am in a codeine induced haze to entertain his antics. PAHLEASE. His voice mails are so pathetic, "I know you're angry. I apologize..." What are you apologizing for idiot? This is all your fault in the first place, of course you know like I know...so why the text message on Sunday trying to justify your actions...why ease your guilt conscious. The first step to MANNING THE FUCK UP is admitting that you're wrong.

Anyway I managed to find and ending to my book, not to say it was finished, the new ending came to me. Of course I channeled my energy into perfecting Full Circle. Which I am glad is almost over because I got this genius idea for my 4th book.

Breakups suck...especially when you've worked so hard to keep it together and share your honest feelings. This won't change who I am. This is only better preparation for what i want in a real man. That will love me for who I am, that will accept me in my skin, challenge me to be better and understand that it takes work.

10.06.2006

Friday Finale October 6, 2006

Check out Todays show on
Trent Jackson Radio....(to the left)
or click HERE.
Todays show features an interview with

Fellow Blogger:
Darian




10.05.2006

What I Am and What I am Not.

I am stupid.
Why would you, in all of your fine, slender, cute, insecure looks, choose me?

I wasn't the poster-boy prototype with the lavish enough career,
with the body,
the ultra posh industry hookups,
with the 6 figure income,
that wanted bareback sex with you
the one that lied,
played and game you
used you until your self esteem was 50,000 leagues lower than the sea
and left you looking stupid and coming up short time again.

I was the one that really loved you.
The fat one. The one who gets short changed every time.
With friends that were actually friends and cared about who I was.
that was content with my orange savings that I was willing to split with you, because I thought you loved me the way that I loved you.
I told you the truth, when you strung me along the whole time.
I just knew that I wasn't at the symphony.
I listened to you.
I was there when you needed me.
I held you when you cried.
I never once betrayed you and my loyalty was endless like the river Nile.

3 simple questions that turned into six.
I asked you not to play me and time and time again you agreed.

1. Do you love me? Yes.
2. What did you mean when she said...? It was a nice way of saying no.
3. You knew that I was in it for the long hall and you pretended like you were? Yes.
4. So if you knew the answer was no, then why...? I don't know.
5. Is it someone else? No, is that what you're thinking?
6. Do you have a problem with me pursuing and wanting to be with you? Yes.

For a second I thought this time was different. Once again I've been reduced to FAGS definition of what beauty is...It gets more cute every time I tell you.

I was fortunate...because right when I bought the ring...about to pop the question that put me back...I held it. Just for safe keeping. You'll never see how lavish that gift was...

I was lucky that I caught the cancellation policy right before it expired for the suite that I booked for you for a weekend of selfless expression.

I fantasized about our minds coming together to do great things.
Now I'll be strategically plotting you in my next book.

I once made you apart of my life.
Now you'll be eating my dust along with Kevin, Patrick, James and DeMario.

The Poster kids for great things you and I.
But instead you chose the prototype which has always been a fuckin' lie.

Finally I can rest at night, knowing the truth.
Not thinking about if you made it home okay.
Not thinking about if you were doing okay.

I can go back to being the bitch I was before I met you.
Free, Independent, head strung, focused, determined.

I'll chalk this one up as a loss.
Add this, yet another notch to my belt.

And sing to myself..."Another One Bites The Dust."

I guess after two years, I still didn't mean shit to you.
And you along with the rest of them is why I don't share my body with me...I won't be getting fucked all the way around.

10.04.2006

What?

Oops. How did I forget that it was studio night...? Uh and by the time I realized it was time for me to record, I was so deep into the chapter and heading to the beach for my date I was like damn! I can't let them down...but I will make up for it on Friday.

So, I'm still busy at work on completing the new book, Full Circle...which I get more impressed with each day.

Also I've been getting your emails about where to buy my first book. You can click the buy now button under the graphic or you can visit these stores:

Borders Books.
Hue-Man Bookstore, 2319 Frederick Douglass Blvd Between 124th and 125th, New York.
Lambda Rising, 1625 Connecticut Ave NW, Washington, DC 2000








Thanks much for the support!
See ya tomorrow...

10.03.2006

Certifiable...

Before there were the over-the-top antics of Beyonce, there was MONICA can we please not forget...? If we do, I am always here to remind you of that. And before there was there was the solo, white-boy that we fell in love with before the superbowl incident, there was ROBIN THICKE...Both artists are phenomenal and while one slipped under the radar along with Brandy and a few other girls that could really sing like, Shanice and Tracie Spencer, Robin Thicke never really made a impact until his do I dare say top 10 Pharell, track "Wanna Love You Girl," hit the airwaves this year. The problem is real singers, writers and artists that have once, maybe had mainstream success find it hard to stay there or even get the recognition that they truly deserve. While we are glad that Beyonce fell back into the House of Dereon and Justin Timberlake seems like he is temporarily making his way back into the spotlight, maybe Monica and Robin Thicke can get some well deserved attention.

When I tell you that, you can forget about the debut "Miss Thang, (Just One Of Them Days...The ghetto girls, P.M.S. anthem, Before You Walk Out Of My Life, Why I Love You So Much)" You can hide the bangers that were on the sophomore, "The Boy Is Mine, (Angel Of Mine, For You I will, The First Night)" We kinda snubbed Monica on her, "After The Storm," set that boasted Knock, Knock, Knock, U Shoulda Known Better, and So Gone.

Uh, kids when I tell you that MONICA is NOT PLAYING on this CD, I MEAN JUST THAT. She is coming for yall hoes like Janet came for Ciara and Beyonce with 20 Y.O. EVERY SINGLE TRACK ON THIS CD IS A COMPLETE BANGER. The sad part about it is, she probably won't get too much props, unless it's from her gay fans and her core audience (Tha Hood). Monica can sing circles around BEYONCE, hands down, eyes closed, in her sleep while smoking a blunt. Do you understand me? At first listen you are a lil' thrown with her single "Everytime The Beat Drops." You're left to question is she joinin' the legion of the ATL "Sound," or is she just trying to stay current with the trend? Monica answers the question by proving her versatility as a singer by holding down "Getaway" a signature ballad that shows off her range and gives an intimate glimpse of a real woman. She sings effortlessly on, "Sideline Ho," (an ode to that stupid bitch thats always playing...listen to the song and you'll understand relationships a better) "Raw," "Hell No," and "My Everything." Monica proves that she can say in the game for as long as she wants because she has the lyrical and the vocal ability to do that. You can't deny Monica her due. No matter how much you want to hate you can't cause Monica is the real deal and she makes you listen to her story on love, life and the pursuit of her womanhood. This CD is without a doubt one of the best CD's of 2006. Purchase...not download this one! "The Makings Of Me," gets the TRENT JACKSON SEAL OF APPROVAL!

This brings me to Robin Thicke, who's genius ability in writing lyrics is sick. You may remember Robin, he first came onto the scene a few years ago with his song, "When I get You Alone," when he had the long hair hippy look, riding through New York on that bike...heavy rotation on VH-1 Soul...nonetheless, for most this CD won't catch you on first listen. Thats
because the ear is so use to hearing hogwash and stupid music. But for the real music lover, you'll understand the vibe and the groove of the CD, on the first track, "Got 2 Be Down," featuring our beloved, Faith Evans, is very nostalgic. Think Marvin Gaye's "I want You." This CD is a complete mellow-vibe groove, that is remnant of Maxwell. This eclectic mix is another play through and is a heavy hitter in my opinion. Of Course the standout track, "Wanna Love You," isn't the only thing worth playing on repeat. You have songs like, "Ask Myself," with that D'angelo vibe that will put you in the mood to relax and forget about your issues. Lil' Wayne makes a few guest appearances on the CD on tracks that work! It wasn't one of those, let me get the hip-hop, street credibility on the CD, cause if that were the case he could have easily called up one of those ghetto rappers who couldn't form a sentence for all of the bling on their neck. His pairing with Wayne was nothing more than a creative move. You can actually tell that Robin and Lil' Weezy actually sat down and found each other on a creative level, especially on "All Night Long." Robin takes you many places on this CD...places that we only think about in our dreams. Light a candle, burn some incense and put in Robin Thicke while you and your significant other are having a dinner with that bottle of red wine. Or put it in while you're working on one of those creative projects. Or put it in if you're needing a release from what the radio is giving you. If you want some real music and a breath of fresh air, "The Evolution Robin Thicke," is the way to go. Another CD that gets the TRENT JACKSON SEAL OF APPROVAL.

10.02.2006

Unsure...

Um.
I don't know what to say.

For the last few weeks I've been out of my element.
Working.Creating.Learning.Supporting.Loving.Working.

Hold on while I figure this one out.
What does it mean, when a nigga asks for keys to your house?