Me

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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

4.30.2007

OVAH! it...Somewhat

Rahasann Patterson makes good music.
Just as in his lyrics…"You're the pill for my headache…" I find myself thinking the same thing about him when I am in a mood.

I think now, more so than ever the only thing I want to do is be who I am. That happens to be the most difficult thing to do – when everyone has something to say about your dreams and aspirations. Especially if your being, goes against what they believe in – or what they want you to be.

"Fuck the family! The family out of the family…" Remember what Vanessa Williams said in Soul Food (The Movie) when she had that butcher knife…that breakdown was serious…it seems as if I am there all the time.

Ever since December when Jamie and I went to the movies and saw…Stomp the Yard – it was my dream revisited. My dream of going back to and graduating from a Historically Black College – the bell rang, that I was missing that connection. It was Déjà vu all over. I needed to have that back…dream shattered once, dream shattered twice.

I want to "break the fuck out"…a phrase she said that made me laugh when she wanted to express anger. A phrase I use now in the heat of anger.

I try – I succeed. They applaud. I was already satisfied, but their approval enhanced the euphoric sensation. It kept me going.

I try – I failed. Not to her standards, complaining about a formula I should use, that worked for her 20 years ago. Doesn't understand the forgery in my own plight, doesn't understand that this is my story. Then I buy into the idea of my own failure. Contradictory.

In my head I replay that scene in Boomerang, where Grace Jones in all of her essence says "Jacqueline, I'm not going." I laugh at it. But just as so many other things in life, it has a different meaning.

It doesn't surprise me at all. The only way to get out of this cycle is to end it…and not that way, and not that way, but my way.

I am tired of answering to everyone.
I am tired of playing the puppet on the string.
I am tired of giving respect just because…just because someone, the bible says it's due.
Fuck that. If you disrespect me, I have the potential to disrespect you.

I'm not reckless with words, no matter what one may think.
Half of these people don't know me…
I'm not predictable. Well maybe sometimes.
I'm Kind.
I Love sometimes whenever I should.
The Good guys always loose.
The bad always win.
I'll never switch sides. That's not an option.
I say what I mean and I mean what I say…so if I say I hate you. I mean that.
Hate is irreversible.
There is nothing that you can ever say
Or do
Cause the shit that you do always comes back to you.

I forgive
But just as people have called me an elephant, I have a memory as such.
Go figure.

Although my plans changed.
Derailed…yet again.
I cry hard because something I want so badly has no forecast in my future.

Such is life.
I'll find a way to get over it.
Maybe this Friday a repeat of paying tributes.
Maybe a new book. In fact thats a good idea.
Maybe my new workout regimen that starts tomorrow.

Now is the time to take the power back from the powerless.
I am tired of being the powerless.

4.26.2007

And Stuff...

Hey!

I was sooooo sick last night. It was vomit and headache central last night. I was like damn am I pregnant? I slept it off - and finally at three this morning I felt like myself again. But I didn't bother getting out of the bed and crawling to the computer.

But what I do hate is waking up in the middle of a dream or sleep with a hard one. That annoys me, especially when I don't have the strength to jack off and make it go away...

But I'm feeling better. But I did want to let you know that I will be away for the next...who knows. So there will be no show tomorrow. Hopefully I can wrap up this work and I can get everything squared away for the 23rd of May. It's a lot of stuff that needs to be done and coordinated in the next 20 days and hopefully it can happen.

I thank you guys so much for everything. I just need to take this time out to finish all the business stuff for the release of "Full Circle," and get ready for the move in late July and some other personal things...

Oh...and your you tube video of the week: (Work Bitch!)

4.25.2007

Witty Wednesday 04/25/07

Trent talks about dating, american idol, people from his past and some other amusing ramblings


4.24.2007

New Music Tuesday: Joe

Joe is one of the few male R&B artists that I will buy on name alone. He's also one that has managed to stay a float, make himself quasi-popular and do I dare say make an impact on R&B music?

In an industry/genre where to you don't get too many good or even great male singers - certain ones immediately come to mind (Marvin Gaye, Luther Vandross, Gerald LeVert, Brian McKnight) You always forget Joe. Not that you want to, or even that he's a bad singer, you always think Ginuwine or even Bobby Brown before you remember...Joe. Oh yeah...him....

He's churned out hits like, "All The Things (Your Man Wont Do) "I Wanna Know," and "More & More." We can't forget his duet with Case, "Faded Pictures." But with all the memorable solo songs, it was the duet with Mariah Carey, "Thank God I found you," that almost gave him the boost that he needed. He's barley gone platinum, never awarded a Grammy or American Music Award - but that doesn't take away his song writing ability nor does it discredit his ability to sing a ballad, or give me the late night chill groove that I like so much. Joe is undeniably one of my favorite male singers...however, I'm sitting out on his new CD, "Ain't Nothing Like Me."

I'm undecided. It has all of the trappings of his previous four CD's. It has the same formula, great lyrics, great music, great producers - but there was something missing to me. It seems as if he took too long of a break or perhaps his personal life isn't all the way there and it shows in his music, especially on the track, "It's Me," which is so typical of men...yikes. Can we be more original?

The lead single, "If I Was Your Man," gives me classic Joe. Gave me the impression that I was getting a fresh of breath air, finally. But suddenly I felt like a fish out of water upon first listen. While the same formula works for some artists and it worked for him a little while, I wish some artists would break out and do something a little different from norm without jeopardizing their integrity. The perfect example of this would be...I would go with Brandy. Does something different and we're getting a good CD, we'll never get another 'Full Moon' just like Michael will never give us another 'Thriller' - Joe will never give us another 'And Then...' which is his best CD to date.

I don't know if it's me wanting to be nice to him, because I like him. But his CD didn't do it for me. I won't fail him because I usually get 5 good tracks out of a CD, I got 7 out of 14 which is solid, good, okay by some right - but I support him because I like him...

Standout Tracks: If I was Your Man, My Love, Ain't Nothing Like Me, It's Me, Let's Just Do It, Love Is Just A Game, Life Of The Party.

P.S. I have a strong feeling that Mario will bring it this summer...

4.20.2007

Friday Finale 04/20/07

It's the 420 Edition of In The Mix With Trent!

He talks racism, boys, his food addiction and some other shit.


4.18.2007

Witty Wednesday 04/18/07

Trent talks about...


4.16.2007

Movement U

Friday.
The lather and the water dripped down.
My cleanly stripped body.
Drain.
Exits.
Washing away all the weeks build up.
Steam.
Head back, water running down – a cleanly
Stripped body.

“I won’t pretend I’m good at forgiving.” She sang.
Words more personal than she’ll know.
More relevant to me...
The phone rang.
I answered – and it was him.

I was excited, because he’s always been my favorite.
Pleasantries exchanged.
Love exchanged.
Love is stronger than pride.

“That’s my favorite Sade song.” He said.
I laughed. And thought to myself and then explained
My antipathy towards Sade until the latter.
He left in 1986. To go to college.
He 18, I 4. Not fully understanding –remembering the Sade song that played,
As I cried, kneeling as in prayer on the red suede reclining chair in our one bedroom
Roach infested apartment on the cul-de-sac on Hobart.
“Maureen – it’s hard to explain. Never gonna see you again…never meet my new friends…”

A solemn pause.
Lather rinsed.
A deeper meaning.
Water feels like rain drops as I stood there.
“I got extended until June.” He said as my heart dropped.

I was anticipating June – before I moved, to the new city.
I was anticipating seeing him back in one piece.
I was anticipating Iraq being a thing of his past and not of his future.
“December at the latest.”
I though Christmas – the perfect gift.
Something to look forward to.

I miss him.
In a war that he has nothing to do with.
A battle that is bigger than the one back at home;
In his life;
In our family.

I think of him daily.
I pray for him constantly.
I laugh at the good times.
I laugh at the bad ones too.
I think about his support.
I think about our tears.
I think about our struggle.

I love my uncle.
December can get here quick enough.

4.13.2007

4.10.2007

New Music Tuesday

Can I just say that I am thoroughly disappointed with all the music of 2007 thus far, with the exception of maybe Macy Gray, Marques Houston and Musiq.

But I must say that I am THE MOST DISAPPOINTED with:


Karen, Twinkie, Jacky Dorinda. Better known as The "Dynamic" Clark Sisters. They are a timeless gospel classic, most popular for their hits, "You Brought The Sunshine," "Endow Me," and "Is My Living In Vain?" And yes I like gospel music for all of those of you who didn't know.

As I sit here and listen to their undeniably powerful voices and look at their airbrushed back cover for their first CD together in ages - I am left to think, did they really want to do this? Because something is clearly, visibly, audibly missing...missing as in, when I usually see them perform, something in my spirit moves, the way they enunciate, the power in which they saaaaang - the emotion that they stir up...the chill that runs up and down every inch my, your, our spines. You would think by the CD's title, "Live - One Last Time," would be a cumulative review of their greatest hits at least, but we only got a few of their classics, including "You Brought The Sunshine," "My Redeemer Liveth" "Name It & Claim It." But my bigger question is what happened to, "Never Turn Back," "Pure Gold," "My Mind Is Made Up," "Miracle," "Ha-Ya" and "Endow Me?"

But this CD lacked something as big as Twinkie Clark.

There is no doubt that they can sing. But just imagine trying to put back the broken pieces of Destiny's Child (the original members) and see what we come up with. It would be a faster race to finish bills, bills, bills faster than LeToya and LaTavia were put out the group...and that is what you get with this CD. You know what you're use to getting - but you've been bamboozled. Almost like seeing Whitney Houston in concert tomorrow...you know she to do nice stuff for us...BUT WHAT SHE GIVEN YOU LATELY???

Although I was glad to see them back - my expectation was as great as Karen and Dorinda's front laced wigs but THE CD WAS WHACK! A total WASTE of my good 9.99. I'd rather watch the you tube video of Holy-Mother Ty Tribbet bounce around and throw his dreadlock weave around or listen to Kirk Franklin talk about how much he beats his midget meat off a day. Instead I'll watch Fantasia, Coko, Lil' Mo and Kiera Sheard cover 'Endow Me' from the B.E.T. Gospel Awards. Better yet, I'll watch the You Tube Video of The Clark Sisters sang a tribute to their mother, Mattie Moss Clark. And since this is their last CD, I don't have to worry about getting tricked again...love them for what they were worth...just as we do Whitney, Brandy, Deborah, Janet and Patti.

Standout Tracks: You Brought The Sunshine, Blessed & Highly Favored

CD'S I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:

Joe - April 26th
Ne-Yo - May 1st
Mario - May 8th
Bobby Valentino - May 8th
Paris Bennett (American Idol) - May 8th

Ne-Yo and Paris Bennett are gonna come the hardest...hopefully.

4.09.2007

Lets Do It Again...

Remember that song off TLC's bankrupt, (CrazySexyCool) CD? I'm always singing that in my head and always asking it when I know I shouldn't be...especially when I am getting high...

But, we all want the time where we can do it again especially when we fuck up. But I am asking myself is my cousin saying the same thing as he sits in jail on a statutory rape charge from a hood rat bitch that lied to him about her age? Was it worth it...?

I'm so irritated. Just when we start to get our lives together, for real - something always comes up...and stops. We loose our job, someone dies, we have a breakup, we find out bad news...we know we have to find a way over the hurtle - but the only difference is, we're "free" we're not locked up...

It seems as if, I only get to enjoy my cousin briefly. He's never out long enough to really enjoy life...and for the last 3 years he's always been locked up on April 12th. His birthday...

But - the hot thing about it and the ironic thing about it, although the bitch lied and said she was 20, and she looks every bit of that she was 14. Her momma let my cousin who doesn't look remotely close to her peer group post up at the house over night...then 9 months later, you know what happened.

Now I find it really odd that my cousins P.D. and I were the object of each others affection at one point in time (Freshman Year...) Who would have known that 6 years later that he would come back in my life like this...there is still something there. What kind of scandal would that cause if I were to accidentally slip on his Johnson??? Conflict of interest? LOL.

My cousin can't go out like that. Especially if it was a set up...
Family does whatever it takes to bail their blood out in the time of need.

This is one of those times.
In order to win people...sometimes we gotta play a lil' dirty...

4.04.2007

4.03.2007

New Music Tuesday

Just when you thought it was over...Just when you thought the fallout from the Beyonce-adiation was over...the chestnut eyed devil returns for yet another round of overexposure. When I first heard that she was re-releasing her sophomoric jinx "B'day" I gagged, rolled my eyes and continued to binge on tacos from the ghetto taco place. While I give her credit for her work ethic and being like the first artist to record a video for every single song on a CD she still annoys me, she's still mad that LeToya Luckett is no longer an underdog and acutally gave a solid debut CD, she's mad at Jennifer Hudson and she's still annoying. She can perform, she gets over on her looks and her Popeye's chicken greased thighs, she gives it to us in videos, but she still hasn't left the lime light long enough for the kids to really thirst after her like she wants us to. Her, Tina Knowles and her tragic designs not to forget her trunk of lace front wigs and duct tape need to take a seat and retreat back to the Houston cave they call a home and let someone else have their shine. Beyonce we wont forget you - we love you, we're just tired of you. Reinvent yourself, show us your real hair and make up with LaTavia and LeToya do a reunion concert and fire your domineering daddy as your manager and then you can do what you want to do. I've say it once and I'll say it again...TAKE A REAL BREAK before Hollywood makes you take one...we all knows what happened to our beloved Janet Jackson...A WRAP! (And Everyone else on Music World...)

Stand Out New Tracks: Welcome To Hollywood (Thanks To Jay-Z) World wide Woman...even though she rubs it in every ones face she's a fake bitch. The rest of that shit is a snooze fest, I'm still reveling in the remnants of Dangerously In Love...

For some strange reason I was under the impression that Timbaland in all of his thick, hot-dog package-necked spelendour was actually going to provide some type of "Shock Value." I think some of that is due to his first album with his rapping counterpart Magoo, on their debut CD, "Welcome To Our World" when Timbaland, Missy & Company were fresh on the scene and provided some of the late 90's with heavy hitters. I'm realizing that all producers can't be like Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis or Babyface & L.A. Reid, the ones that provide quality music time and time again. It seems as if Jermaine Dupri and Timbaland can hook everyone else up with hot tracks but when it comes to their own shit they churn out 1 and 1/2 hits and then the rest goes down hill from their. I was totally disappointed at first listen. It didn't surprise me that most of his tracks would be duets with Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberfake - and a few other non-black artists that he seems to be keeping company with as of late although he did hook up with Missy and Magoo but it wasn't the same magic when Aaliyah and Ginuwine where their proteges. I've waited 10 years for him to come out again and I don't know why I was under this haze that I was going to hear what the R&B/RAP fused sound that he helped create in the late 90's would be present on this CD. It's clearly catered toward the other market. I was looking for Static, I was looking for Playa, Missy, Tank, Ginuwine and Magoo - that sound...the same sound that Janet, Jimmy and Terry have. The sound that Mariah, Usher and Jermaine have, the magic that made Rodney Jerkins and Brandy mesh so well. Timbaland definitely has a sound that is unique - but as of late "Ike don't all yo songs sound about the same?"

I roll my eyes and I am holding my breath until Whitney Houston makes her comeback or Janet Jackson tours or Mariah comes out the box one more time and let the hoes have it...which ever comes first.

People who need to give me one more CD with their last good breath:

Deborah Cox (UM HELLO! DON'T LET CLIVE SILENCE YOU!! If Tamia can do it so can u!)
Toni Braxton (please hookup with Jimmy and Terry, they can save you! So can Babyface...)
Faith Evans (Stop following in Whitney's Footsteps and give us music like that 2nd CD)
Tevin Campbell (Dig him up out of the gay grave, we still love him...and he can still SANG)
Brandy (We need Full Moon Part 2)
Chante Moore (Married life needs a break too!)
Rachelle Ferrell (I would love to remember you for what it was, but it's not over yet.)





4.02.2007

BLAH

So I am in such a shitty position right now.

Today was the day that my new book, Full Circle was 'allegedly' supposed to be released. I know that in some crevice of the world a bitch is rejoicing that I've hit yet another set back, but that doesn't surprise me, nor does it annoy me. While not invincible - I won't be stopped. So yeah it may take another month for me to get the ISBN people to get their minds right and a few other things to fall into place...a lot of work. So it's gonna get done....Stay tuned. It didn't help matters any worse that I sold 50 more books last night...it just made me feel like, yeah nigga you dropped the ball some where now pick it up...I need to go watch Jackie's Back.

I am pissed off that my MAC is acting a fool - I have to lug this bitch into the Apple Store sometime today. Here I am talking about how wonderful my MAC is and how the one in the living room is simply amazing and here this shit is acting a muthafuckin' fool. My I-Photo wont open and I need my pictures because my promo shots are there and I need to mail out some shit - and I had to go through 1,000 plus pictures from the photo shoot and pick out/replace the pics that are stuck in I-photo, what a drag! And since the book is being pushed back, that means all my dates have to change - THIS MAKES ME LOOK SOOOOOO INCREDULOUS.

Well my weekend was good. Talked to my Grandma, I hung out with my close friends - shared some laughs, had mediocre sex - which the more I think about it, I want a stable relationship, but they are so hard to come by. I am tired of having meaningless sex, I get so bored, I'd rather be some where doing crunches - and I hate exercising.

I need to call up my distribution company. I am sure that my personnel for the book hates me by now and are more than tired of me...Hell, I want this shit to be at the printer more than anyone - So I can move on with my life and my fans can be satisfied.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.