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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

6.06.2007

A Pump Disguised As A Timb...

So you've figured it out...no show, today.
And I think I wanted it that way. I really wanted to go in...record. But that wasn't my agenda.
I wanted to go in and say thanks to the 300 people that have emailed me over the last week, some of whom would have gotten a taste of my radio show for the first time. Sorry...

I am still getting it together.
I can't speak freely like I want to.
I can't tell my friends or people I call as such that I really hate them and I think they are whack.
I can't tell my printer to go fuck herself while they still have my shit.
I can't tell my coworker that she's an idiot and she's better off being a beach bum...
You can't say that because people are fragile.
They are hurt.
and I can't expect them to think, process, act or be anything remotely close to who I am.

I'm critical.
I'm judgemental.
I think too much.
I have low tolerance.
I expect the best of myself.
I expect the best from others.
I want my friends to respect me, not CROSS the line and try to flip it as it's MY FAULT.
I want to love and love hard.
I want to be honest without evoking so much drama and denial.
....

All of this is true.
I still got a lot of work to do.
While I am in transition
making sense of things
people
places
events
life

what am I to do?

Just be who you are...
dare to be different.
be the one to speak up.
speak the truth.
call yourself on your faults and work to change them.
don't point the finger
be honest while being tactful, even if it hurts. Growing pains....?

I know it's time to step up.
I can't take everyone with me.
Not everyone wants to go.

Everything has it's time...and it's place.
Mine is now.

1 comment:

Peter Gebeshian said...

You're as bright as the sun, Trent