I can no longer use the excuse or make the statements, "My friends are donkeys, My friends don't come through for me, My friends are stupid or All my friends do is use me."
I'm a good friend. I have a big heart and most of the time I go out of my way to help and extend my hand because often times I am reminded of the times when I was down and there was no one there to help me, I don't ever want anyone to go through half of the shit I went through...alone at least. I always had to pull myself up and was always pissed that everyone just watched my demise, as if they were waiting on me to fall and not get up. I am not one to ask for much of anything...I try to be self-sufficient, but hell I'm gonna let it be known when I need help, everyone needs it. And whenever I need help people they never come through when I ask them and it annoys the fuck out of me. Then I end up getting stressed, overworked, underpaid, broke, on a food and reefer binge from the left wing of hell pissed at the world because people are donkeys.
But I don't let that ever change my good nature. I just cut people off and say fuckem...but I always take the pleasure in taking a dump on someone when they come and ask me for something after they acted like pure asses when I needed something. And people always like saying you can't be like that - give them a chance, be nice, blah, blah, blah...FUCK THAT! Sometimes we have to show these hoes better than we can ever tell them, cause some people just don't get it until they are the example.
Last night, my dear friend - who shall remain nameless did something for me that caused me to have a emotional breakdown on my way through the canyon last night...well part of it was because I a get so afraid of driving near Mulholland Drive down through Beverly Hills and driving around white people in the dark to get home and the other was the fact that someone finally came through. After a series of let downs and a bunch of vicious sharks in the water - and everyone wanting a piece of the pie - something came up unexpected, I almost threw my hands up...but I didn't tell anyone, I said nothing. Then I called my friend just telling him what was going on...not wanting anything. And he came through...and now that I think about it, thats his pattern. Small shit that he thinks doesn't matter or make a difference, like buying dinner, or hangin' out - just having a conversation, listening to me. That stuff is priceless - and I finally have gotten a reward for all the good that I've done. And it's good to know when you really need something, someone is there. I can't wait till I get my first million...
Over the course of the week, I've learned that we have to love our friends for who they are. The good, the bad, the ugly. I know that being my friend is a hella difficult task, but for the most part it's not all that bad...but that doesn't mean we have to put up with stupid ass bullshit...there is a fine line. Find the balance - but love your friends. Because eventually karma will be on your side.
For the people that keep me going daily...thank you.
For the people that I can't see that send me positive energy...thank you. I receive it.
For all of the people that send bad vibes...fuck yall stupid bitches, what goes around comes around.
For all the people that support...thank you, I appreciate it.
For all the people that love and love hard. Keep loving and loving hard.
For all the people that have been hurt, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
For all the people that have lost inspiration. The sun will always shine and the moon will always glow.
For all the people that don't know where to turn. Look in the mirror, the answer has always been there.
For all the people that snatch everyone elses joy, you'll mind someone...someday.
For all of those that have given up on life. You're still living...
For all of those who have put their goals aside for everyone else. It's your turn. And it's not too late.
For all of those who are in the struggle. I am here with you. I'm no different. We can grow and learn from each others experiences and turn our struggle into progress.