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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

12.31.2007

Years End...

I'm grateful to see this day.
There were points in which I didn't think I'd see this...
Often reminded of the times in life when things where good, bad and indifferent.

As the sun set, I was renewed.
Thinking about all of the pieces of the puzzle
that were put in their proper places.
As logic told me to wait before I added the final piece that would balance it all out.

Smiled.
Listened.
Agreed.

Sometimes life gets us down.
But what makes us different is our decision to get up or not.

Defeated I am not.
A victor you are.

I loved every minute of it...
I can turn around without looking back wondering...

Happy New You...

The Feeling...

The night was perfectly brisk.
An orange crescent moonlight shined as I reflected on the events past.
Smoke in.
Smoke out...
Damn that niggas swagger made me shout.
Mature.
Sexy.
A Flirt...
The right buttons to press.

Skin right...
Wool double breasted jacket.
Fitting back into those favorite True Religion jeans...
Scarf for the kids...
Another compliment
A flirt...
I heard your show...appreciating it all.

I lived I said to myself...
The night before...
It was as flat as soda left with the cap off.
It was as flat as a white girls lips without the Angelia Jolie filling.

But then he walked in the room and his energy sparked my interested and then I became alive.
He made eye contact but toyed around with the idea of speaking to me.
He was use to being chased. I was use to chasing. There was something there but neither one of us gave in.

Then he made eye contact.
Trying to get into my energy field but I wouldn't let him.
We weren't friends and the only reason we knew each other is because we shared the same man.
We didn't need to be friends.
We didn't need to talk. At one point in time we both allowed ourselves to be played.
Each other's sloppy seconds...no need for rekindling.
A new year was on the horizon.
Seeing the man that my man cheated on me with reminded me that I needed to clean out my third drawer and rid myself of his boxers...that carried the scent of why I was with him.

He moved towards me.
Behind me. Blending with the wall of old money.
Laced by 70's decor that made me teleported me back to the nostalgic times of free wills and flowers.

Swagger 10
Personality 10
Looks 10
Attitude 10
Style 10

He went back to talk to his friends
She shot a look
He shot a look

And just like that the magic I felt was gone.
1
2
3
4

The numbers he got. Mine wasn't one of them
I let my nerves get the best of me.
now i am sitting here writing about the known unknown.
looking stupid, hoping I'll see him again...

If it's meant to be it will.
He would have fit perfectly into my 90 day plan...as a keeper.

Then I walked in...
Familiar faces...
Shade fest I still smiled...I am living I reminded myself.
There is the EX. My joy isn't shaken by insecurity...
For I am living.
No need to speak.
No hard feelings.

But after feeling like a weak ass nigga without the appropriate amount of gall to speak to another nigga that was just as fly, swaggeristic and secure in himself as I was - I was cursing myself for not challenging myself to go after what I wanted. I know good shit when I see it...and do I not think I am worthy of having good people in my life? LIZA MINELLI.

So I prayed.
I asked God that if,
it was meant for him to be in my life.
The boy that stood out amongst all of the people who were sleep...at that party last night
then i would speak

and tell him
that he stopped the party.
that I was mad at myself for letting someone with so much personality and realness slip away from me.
that I was glad that I saw him again...and able to make it up to me.

It was something about his swagger...
his personality that was so strong...I couldn't helped but,
be entrapped in his confidence
curious about the way he spoke
interested in what he thought about being young and black and...
wondering what his goals were...
if he was single...
and most importantly what was his story.

And I told him...
A sincere ear
A genuine touch
a moment made...

Eye contact
nothing sexual
no lust in the air
A genuine interest in how and who he was...

I'm genuine about it...
I'm ready to share myself with someone who doesn't mind...
numbers exchanged.

12.28.2007

Season 4 Finale 12.28.07

Trent ends the season in conflict over an old friend and asks his listeners to chime in on the situation. He reflects on his favorite show and New Year's changes!!

12.26.2007

Witty Wednesday 12.26.07

Trent recaps the holidays, drops some knowledge, keeps it real and leaves the studio...

12.24.2007

When Life Begins.

25 and 3/4 of a year I lived in visible silence. I had not lived life. For 25 3/4 of a year I lived life for everyone else.

I let people's words control me.
I let people's actions dictate mine.
I let their thoughts become mine.
I had not lived.

I remember waking up this past October and I heard Mary J. Blige:

No time for moping around, are you kidding?
And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning
It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I aint gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine
Then it happened. I began to look at myself differently. For the first time in my life I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK!!! About what someone else was doing, what someone else was saying, what someone else was thinking. I had lived my life short-changing my talents, my abilities, denying myself - while I was everyone elses punching bag.

I stopped and stepped up into the person that I am supposed to be....

I was put to the test...

Anytime you walk into a club and see three ex boyfriends...all of whom dogged you...
and a promoter that tried to dick you for money...and you don't give a fuck - that's when you know...

I am who I am...
You love it or you hate it. Just like life is supposed to be.

In that gray area of is and isn't have and have not, I don't exist.
the gray area is for the uncomfortable, the unstable, the insecure, the afraid. The ones that don't like challenge. The ones have no problem with fitting in and just glad with what life gives them.

Why settle for mediocrity?
Why settle for .50 cents when you can have a dollar?
Is less more?
is mediocrity better?

I am the difference
I am the exception
I am the example
I am the imperfection
I am the voice
I am accept that...

I have to live my life freely for me.
It would be a shame for anyone not to live their life.

We all have a divine purpose...find it. Live it. Walk in it...we only get one.
And we have to make the best of it.

No matter what.
I accept my life,
in all of the dramatic, chaos that it possesses.
I don't regret any decision...
I don't regret any moment...

Those experiences have taught me...
and they have brought me to the point
where my life begins.

I've carried around the weight of life...
I've carried around the burden of strife...
I've carried around all that people wanted me to be.

I smiled - and I always will remember when I started living...
When my life began...



12.21.2007

12.20.2007

Couldn't Sleep....

It wasn't the fact that he stood me up. A call in a flurry because he wanted to talk. On the verge. I've been there before. Standing on the ledge in preparation for the great leap, that you never take because you realize that someone is there - but you knew it all along, you just wanted the attention. So fucked up in being fucked up - you can't help it. No love lost.

It wasn't because you walked me through it. Talked to me on the phone the whole hour I waited for him to appear. It was one of those moments where I was glad you answered. It reminded me of the time when we first met two years ago...and that same intimacy that we have now hasn't changed since then. It never matters what I get into - or the shit I go through with niggas you're the silent calm in the storm that no one else sees. I'm in love with you beyond the sex that we never had but scheduled so many times...not that it matters, I just enjoy being around you. You're one of very few that knows Tarrance...that respects Trent.

It wasn't the fact that I tossed and turned thinking about you...dick on hard thinking about...not in the mood to pull my dick into an explosive state...so I laid there hard and stiff. Then it made sense.

It wasn't the slice of pizza...
It wasn't the salad topped with the Raspberry Pomegranate dressing...

It was that smooth ass glass of Yellow Tail Merlot that I got two years ago at my book signing that had me tossed up at 8:45. An early bed time snack that had me up at the crack of dawn enjoying me...and the thoughts that ran through my mind.

Sip Sip
Gulp Gulp...

I smiled.
Dogmatic ass muthafucka, I thought.
Oh well...things happen.

Red flags waved.
We ignore them.
Memos sent in Red letters.
We don't read them.

But we always seem to remember them when it's too late.
11.

Conversations deep
When you talk to yourself
There's no way to cheat
'Cause you know you can't be no one else
Won't trip out on disappointment
'Cause failure is just not me
Still I gotta do my job
'Cause you know my show can't go on without me

12.18.2007

New Music Tuesday...

Excuse my extreme tardiness but so much as been going on in the camp I've barely had enough time to blink and keep my eyes open!!! But on with the show...as previously stated, surprisingly all the music worth mentioning today is exceptional and a couple of artists even won a new fan over...

Depending on who is listening - upon first listen there isn't anything remotely different about this Mary CD. It's a semi-polished voice (heavy on the auto tune..no shade) over great/okay - mediocre but bangin' tracks that blend a unique sound that only MJB tha "VIP" possesses (take notes Keyshia Cole)

But all that goes out of the window when you think about Mary now vs. the Mary we knew 17 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday when a sloshed and completely hammered MJB had the blond do, the dark lipstick that matched dark shades and a dark personality to go along with the voice that sang every note but the right one.

While we know Mary for her ghetto swagger a lot of fans didn't buy into her new positive affirmation for her own life when that started with the "Mary" CD circa 99 - but "Growing Pains" gives us a raw introspective look inside the woman that has come from the bottom and went straight to the top.

"Growing Pains" - a blunt narrative that inspires not only young women - but anyone who has been through anything dramatic and lived to tell about it. The inspiration, strength and power that Mary is giving us vocally makes her story more passionate, real and it truly makes everyone empathize with her because she too, just as us have been there before. She talks about everything from her marriage to what being a black woman is all about.

The album has platinum success written all over it and it is truly a classic masterpiece that can be played 10 years from now...but wait, that's any Mary CD. I think more people will like the fact that her realness and her ability to sing a story with such passion resonates louder than a catholic mass bell in the center of the Vatican.

I stamp my name all over this shit...there are so many great tracks I couldn't limit them to 5 so I'll have to do seven: Feel Like a Woman, Just Fine, If You Love Me?, Talk to Me, What Love Is, Shake Down, Till The Morning. THIS CD IS A BANGER...MARY J. BLIGE SERVES US YET AGAIN!

To me Chingy was destined to be a one hit wonder! He always comes out with that one banger for the summer or the spring...and then he flops, his album is trash and he falls out with Luda. On his 4th Effort "Love it or Hate it," which should have included a spot for lukewarm - he follows his same formula, one or two great songs and a bunch of other shit that doesn't make sense. While I can credit Ching-a-ling for not talking about his money, cars, cash or hoes, I don't credit him on having that appeal that makes him different from any other rapper that is on a commercial level. There is a talent there, the look is there...but something isn't clicking. Maybe you can figure it out? The only songs that are great are the ones with guest appearances...go figure!!!

Standout Tracks: Gimme Dat w/Luda & Bobby Valentino, All Aboard w/Steph Jones, Spend Some $ w/Trey Songz and Fly Like Me w/Amerie

I've always enjoyed Jaheim low-key...just like him. I've never really been into his music, but that Jaheim jam came on the radio at the right time...remember that song Just in Case? Banger!!! So a few weeks ago, I was in my kitchen cooking dinner and on comes his song "Never" on the radio...and I stopped because there was something about the tone and the sincerity in his voice that made that song worth listening to...not hearing, but listening to. It was such a beautifully penned song - admitting his faults and committing to one woman. It made me feel great to be a black man in an odd sense, even though I date men. Somehow that one song made up for the dogmatic wrap that black men get and maybe the reason why Jaheim is the self-proclaimed "Voice of R&B." That statement is a bit far fetched, but it does give him the ground work for his own spot in R&B, but not the marquee sound.

While his music is enjoyable and his voice is warm as Hot Chocolate on a brisk winter night - he does have all the right elements for a perfect R&B CD that is a classic - a classic that wont get supreme recognition because of Chris Brown and Ne-Yo...but his CD is not to be slept on.

One would think that because the male R&B talent is so scarce or repetitive Jaheim would have greater success - but some artists are content being the "hood star" or the modern day Teddy P, Jaheim conveys that and that worries me because he has the talent and the appeal to have greater success...he just needs to soften up that look a bit.

His CD is perfect for a late night groove session, candles and a hot bath or the backdrop for a small group of friends on a Friday night with the bottle of red wine. I stamp my name on this CD and wish him greater success than GOLD.

Standout Tracks: Hush, Have You Ever, Lonely, Never, I've Changed, Just Don't Have A Clue.

Lupe Fiasco...Jill Scott? Kanye West? His name rings a bell, but people never really got into him...I didn't until he presented us with "The Cool" a melodic blend of socially conscious branded Hip-Hop that separates him from the other socially conscious dynasty of rappers like Common, Talib Kwali and Mos Def. I can't figure out what it is...well YES I CAN...mainstream sound, underground message, while his counterparts have an underground sound with an underground message. So why can't Lupe carve his own path? He's missing the one thing that Kanye has...

Lupe has this talent and this swagger that is present all up and through his tracks that doesn't come off as arrogant. Unlike the other "conscious" hip-hoppers he isn't talking about burning incense and other bullshit - he's actually inspiring people to be who they are and change what they are doing to enhance their life to the best of their abilities...

I have to admit that I wasn't sold - but this is the perfect CD to play on a Saturday around the house or on your way to a mellow event. Even though it's hip-hop it doesn't have that grimy feel to it. It's good quality music that makes you appreciate hip-hop artistry at it's finest and I stamp my name all of this banger!!! Lupe Fiasco is the most underrated rapper in the game.

Standout Tracks: The Coolest, Superstar, Paris, Tokyo, Hi-Definition, Gold Watch

12.14.2007

12.13.2007

Janet is on the horizon...


I couldn't help but get juiced when Deion played this in the studio for me...It's the new Janet track "Feedback." I immediately wanted to get up and dance...what do you think....? Is L.A. Reid about to do for Janet what he did for Mariah...?

Get into Janet's lines though:
"Got a body like a CL5 make a nigga wanna test drive....I'm heavy like a first day period..."

Are you serious...? Yall are not ready...and I am mad that Tyra Banks has everyone in this nasty played out hooker wig...

12.12.2007

Witty Wednesday 12.12.07

Trent counts down to the final three shows of season 4, addresses a few things...and gives his thoughts on life while playing all of it with a mellow head

12.11.2007

New Music Tuesday

When I first saw 'The-Dreams' video featuring my favorite chipped tooth rapper Fabolous, for the video and first single, "Shawty is A 10" I was instaneously hooked on the hot track and the radio friendly hook if not the mere hotness of two young black men on my screen. I was interested and kept a close watch on 'The-Dream' which I thought was a group of some sort...

In the overpopulated market of simple beat-makers that lack even mediocre talent to last longer than a real life span of a platinum album there is something about 'The-Dream' that i like and hate, not like his debut "Love Hate." I don't know if I exactly hear a uniqueness or the "eh-eh-eh-eh" that he does more than Rihanna on every track drives me crazy - but there is still something there that makes me want to listen. While I am still trying to figure out if he is a rapper or singer

His production is very remnant of Prince during the "Revolution" days while his lyrics are soft, racy, pop-ish and they don't really stand out like some of his peers take Trey Songz or Mario for example. Not to discredit the talent that is there - because it is, I'm not completely sold.

While the CD offers a nice balance of duets, mid-tempo songs, what could have been a ballad, a radio friendly track and a few club bangers - 'The Dream' is just that, something I won't remember when I wake up...unless the dream was about me winning the lottery.

Standout Tracks: Shawty Is Da Shit, Fast Car, Living A Lie ft. Rihanna

In Today's R&B meat market of young heart throbs fighting for the coveted #1 spot or the "Mr. 106 & Park" bragging right - you somehow forget about the smoothest if not the most talented young R&B star on the market now: Mario - who immediately separated himself from the pack by branding himself a true vocalist while honing his true musical abilities.

We've watched Mario go from the 16 year old kid who we knew had staying power to the mature young man who not only consistently makes good music but also deals with life when most would not face such adversity and still attain success. That in it self is to be commended.

If you haven't noticed Mario's off the Richter-scale like talent, then you need to turn up your I-pod speakers a lil' louder - While we know that Clive Davis is synonymous with hit makers - it shouldn't surprise anyone why Mario is signed with Clive or why he is on his third CD.

"Go" is a breath of R&B fresh air! It really shows his signature sound that no one else has - and it is a good thing. Mario uses his voice to the brim and ensures that each lyric and each track compliments his voice perfectly making the entire CD a complete play through. Filled with everything from club bangers to ballads, he shows you what modern day R&B is all about. Mario uses todays sound while he sings with passion with artists from 20 years ago. He further proves that he has matured in his life - and gives us a reason to listen to the mature 20 something man who has something to say. At this point in the game I can see Mario being here 20 years from now still providing good music. He event did a better job than Keith Sweat's hit "Right And A Wrong Way," it is just another example of picking the right songs to fit your voice - that will take him a long way.

When I tell you that all the push backs and date changes were well worth the wait for Mario's third disc "Go." I think the more appropriate title for the set would have been STAY! This CD has platinum written all over it and it gets & THE TRENT JACKSON STAMP OF APPROVAL!!!

Standout Tracks: Crying Out For Me, Skippin', Music For Love, Kryptonite, Why, Lay In My Bed and Right And A Wrong Way are my favorites...but I've already played the CD 26 times...go figure every track is HOT!!!

12.07.2007

Friday Finale 12.07.07

Trent talks family life, an experience that changed his life, boys, fake a$$ Hollywood - people who don't support and a visit from Essence

12.06.2007

thoughts in non prose with semblances of appreciation.

i appreciate the quiet moments. when everything is still. the phone isn't ringing. im'z aren't buzzing. myspace is off. i like to sit and reflect. if not take in the beauty of breathing dirty air...i can still breathe. reflect on the moments past. drama that has held me captive. a body that has sheltered and hid me from many things, but has told them all at the same time. thankful for talents. thankful for a family that i can't stand, because my mind has tricked me into thinking they can't stand me, but the issue is that we were never really able to sit down and understand each other because of the generational cycles that plague us like famine in far away lands that i am grateful that i don't know anything about. i am thinking about all the relationships lost. the friendships tarnished that i want back that i know that will never be the same. i think about sara and why it isn't like it use to be. one thing is fore sure that you can't change the past and it is apart of who we are today...and it always predicts the future, just because people never really change only the situations do. sometimes i think about the if's the and's the want's the maybe's and how they'll never count for my journey, my constant stuggle, my continuous evolution. i think about my childhood friends and how i had many i only ended up with one...i often wonder how sirr, dujuan, cory, fat daddy & nitty are doing and hoping that they are well...longing for that time when we had fun and we weren't worried about the trappings that life had to offer. the best time in my life where I actually thought I fit into the puzzle, when I really didn't. thinking about the music that defined my happy days. the days where i started to eat out of pain. the days when i hid the fact that the house on lasalle that my mother worked so damn hard to get was actually the house i wanted so badly to go away - because the once happy moments were overshadowed by the names i was called...where i was molested...where my uncle left...where i got my first almost everything...i remember tuesday pulling up in her black nissan sentra...we would listen to lalah, pebbles, janet, troop, hi-5, al.b.sure, new edition, guy, karyn white, johnny gill...the moments that I treasure, that no one can seem to understand why I play out that music still to this day. but it always brings me back to the thought of my grandmother. yesterday would have been her 81st birthday...and as I looked in to the face of my newborn cousin born just hours ago -watching him be born changed my life. it allowed me to live. it allowed me to cleanse. it allowed me to understand that life is so worth living, even though we loose friends, even though we go through shit, even though LIFE happens...it's worth living. i appreciate the bad moments. i appreciate the good moments. i appreciate all the misunderstandings. i appreciate the dating drama. i appreciate. i appreciate. i appreciate. even though i complain. even though i am unappreciative. even though i dont always do whats right...still, even still, I am blessed. if one thing is for sure...i wouldn't trade anything for the live that i have. sometimes i get salty over all the trees that block the sunlight on my house - because people won't be able to see the good that I am doing...it annoys me that people who abuse the system and have no regard for the universal law have all of the sunlight in the world...or at least it seems that way.

i didn't expect to get all...
but someone has to be the one to say it's okay to just be.
someone has to be the one to share.
if you don't say it no one will ever know.

if it wasn't for my uncle duwayne, there would be no At This Moment. I wouldn't have a car to drive. i wouldn't have bills paid or caught up. i wouldn't have any semblance of supportive family. it isn't always about money. my uncle has single handedly changed my life because of his support and his belief in me excelling and maximizing my potential when I thought there was nothing there. i appreciate

if it wasn't for chereese, my best-friend there would be no book or a book tour. she held me all the way together during the drama this summer. through the break ups. through the turbulence with my mother. through all of the court cases - people suing me left and right over complete bullshit. she's bought me food, she's cried with me, she's laughed with me and at me. she's been a friend - and i only wish that everyone would be lucky enough to have a friend like her.

i appreciate peter for everything that he does behind the scenes...just because he's that type of person.
i appreciate josh for being patient and understanding. he knows that it's not easy being an artist.
i appreciate nicole for helping me with my book launch in los angeles.
i appreciate raquel for being the first to give me feedback and being genuine every time we interact. that is priceless.
i appreciate jammie for seeing me at my worst. and not telling anyone (lol) but i know how hard it must have been seeing me in that state. i thank him for understanding my struggle and process and giving me time.
i appreciate adam.dwight.shorty.dj. for being the pieces to the puzzle...experiencing that genuine divine euphoric connection is priceless.
i appreciate lalah for welcoming me and playing a critical part in the good memories. her music served as a backdrop for time i spent with tuesday - that magic will always be somethin'
i appreciate my mother for calling me fat.calling me stupid.and telling me that no one would like me. i appreciate her being nice on the surface but a bitch underneath. it taught me so well how to deal with people and gave me the power to undo everything bad in my own life.
i appreciate anyone person that has given me a compliment only to slight me in the same breath.
i appreciate anyone who has said or thought a good thing about me.
i appreciate those who have played a part, good, bad or ugly. you've made a difference. a positive one.

i looked at his face. innocence.
they cried.
i remained calm.
i was in awe.
i was in complete and utter amazement.
i saw life happening.
i didn't think about the bad or the good things that would happen in his life.
i thought about his purpose. he was sent here for a reason.
he inspired me to further tap into mine.

4. the day she died, the day that he was born.
1. the month that it happened, he the first born son, one day before her bday.

one thing remains. at the end of the day none of us have it together so we all need to stop fuckin' pretending like we do. appreciating means taking the good, the bad, the ugly and the shame that comes along with all of that.

thank you for your time.

12.05.2007

Witty Wednesday 12.05.07

So there isn't a show today...

Today would have been my Grandmothers 81st B-day...in the past I've done posts about her and the role she played in who I am today...but I am taking this time out to be with my family to reflect on her memory and not only that but to welcome my new cousin into the world. It's a special time for us right now...in more ways than one. It's so funny how something like watching a child being born can change your whole entire outlook and appreciation not only in your world but more importantly for the people around you.

I'll be in the studio this week...we're on the wind down to end season 5...in the meantime enjoy this video courtesy of Nathan Seven Scott!

much love
and don't be afraid to walk in your divine greatness
thank you for supporting me...
with you in the struggle.

-t