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Couldn't Sleep....

It wasn't the fact that he stood me up. A call in a flurry because he wanted to talk. On the verge. I've been there before. Standing on the ledge in preparation for the great leap, that you never take because you realize that someone is there - but you knew it all along, you just wanted the attention. So fucked up in being fucked up - you can't help it. No love lost.

It wasn't because you walked me through it. Talked to me on the phone the whole hour I waited for him to appear. It was one of those moments where I was glad you answered. It reminded me of the time when we first met two years ago...and that same intimacy that we have now hasn't changed since then. It never matters what I get into - or the shit I go through with niggas you're the silent calm in the storm that no one else sees. I'm in love with you beyond the sex that we never had but scheduled so many times...not that it matters, I just enjoy being around you. You're one of very few that knows Tarrance...that respects Trent.

It wasn't the fact that I tossed and turned thinking about you...dick on hard thinking about...not in the mood to pull my dick into an explosive I laid there hard and stiff. Then it made sense.

It wasn't the slice of pizza...
It wasn't the salad topped with the Raspberry Pomegranate dressing...

It was that smooth ass glass of Yellow Tail Merlot that I got two years ago at my book signing that had me tossed up at 8:45. An early bed time snack that had me up at the crack of dawn enjoying me...and the thoughts that ran through my mind.

Sip Sip
Gulp Gulp...

I smiled.
Dogmatic ass muthafucka, I thought.
Oh well...things happen.

Red flags waved.
We ignore them.
Memos sent in Red letters.
We don't read them.

But we always seem to remember them when it's too late.

Conversations deep
When you talk to yourself
There's no way to cheat
'Cause you know you can't be no one else
Won't trip out on disappointment
'Cause failure is just not me
Still I gotta do my job
'Cause you know my show can't go on without me

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