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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

12.31.2007

The Feeling...

The night was perfectly brisk.
An orange crescent moonlight shined as I reflected on the events past.
Smoke in.
Smoke out...
Damn that niggas swagger made me shout.
Mature.
Sexy.
A Flirt...
The right buttons to press.

Skin right...
Wool double breasted jacket.
Fitting back into those favorite True Religion jeans...
Scarf for the kids...
Another compliment
A flirt...
I heard your show...appreciating it all.

I lived I said to myself...
The night before...
It was as flat as soda left with the cap off.
It was as flat as a white girls lips without the Angelia Jolie filling.

But then he walked in the room and his energy sparked my interested and then I became alive.
He made eye contact but toyed around with the idea of speaking to me.
He was use to being chased. I was use to chasing. There was something there but neither one of us gave in.

Then he made eye contact.
Trying to get into my energy field but I wouldn't let him.
We weren't friends and the only reason we knew each other is because we shared the same man.
We didn't need to be friends.
We didn't need to talk. At one point in time we both allowed ourselves to be played.
Each other's sloppy seconds...no need for rekindling.
A new year was on the horizon.
Seeing the man that my man cheated on me with reminded me that I needed to clean out my third drawer and rid myself of his boxers...that carried the scent of why I was with him.

He moved towards me.
Behind me. Blending with the wall of old money.
Laced by 70's decor that made me teleported me back to the nostalgic times of free wills and flowers.

Swagger 10
Personality 10
Looks 10
Attitude 10
Style 10

He went back to talk to his friends
She shot a look
He shot a look

And just like that the magic I felt was gone.
1
2
3
4

The numbers he got. Mine wasn't one of them
I let my nerves get the best of me.
now i am sitting here writing about the known unknown.
looking stupid, hoping I'll see him again...

If it's meant to be it will.
He would have fit perfectly into my 90 day plan...as a keeper.

Then I walked in...
Familiar faces...
Shade fest I still smiled...I am living I reminded myself.
There is the EX. My joy isn't shaken by insecurity...
For I am living.
No need to speak.
No hard feelings.

But after feeling like a weak ass nigga without the appropriate amount of gall to speak to another nigga that was just as fly, swaggeristic and secure in himself as I was - I was cursing myself for not challenging myself to go after what I wanted. I know good shit when I see it...and do I not think I am worthy of having good people in my life? LIZA MINELLI.

So I prayed.
I asked God that if,
it was meant for him to be in my life.
The boy that stood out amongst all of the people who were sleep...at that party last night
then i would speak

and tell him
that he stopped the party.
that I was mad at myself for letting someone with so much personality and realness slip away from me.
that I was glad that I saw him again...and able to make it up to me.

It was something about his swagger...
his personality that was so strong...I couldn't helped but,
be entrapped in his confidence
curious about the way he spoke
interested in what he thought about being young and black and...
wondering what his goals were...
if he was single...
and most importantly what was his story.

And I told him...
A sincere ear
A genuine touch
a moment made...

Eye contact
nothing sexual
no lust in the air
A genuine interest in how and who he was...

I'm genuine about it...
I'm ready to share myself with someone who doesn't mind...
numbers exchanged.

1 comment:

DH said...

Trent,

I really love the way you write. It is kinda different and it allows me to feel the emotion with which you write. Also, I read the book over the past few days (I wanted to save it for Christmas break). It is great! Your book even made me cry, which is surprising because I never cry. I don't know, I guess it broke my heart in some capacity when Brent died. Full Circle gives so much insight in to a very typical life. I even found myself highlighting quotes and realizing major faults in my thinking. I just wanted to say thank you once again. You are going to far...