I pointed out to him, my late ass date last night, who I kind of hung out with over my friends, who wanted to go to the late ass Abbey, in which my late date, who tried to pass off those green contacts with the dark circles around them as his own, should have been in attendance at the meeting loosely referred to as “Chocolate Sunday,” (again only in my brain) with the other late ass…but I tried to point out why so many brilliant people seem to loose their minds shortly thereafter they are recognized for 1/10 of what they really want to bring to the table.
The dating game sucks…kinda. After I had his funeral this morning on the freeway, after I called him to make sure we were having our intimate weekend in Atlanta, I allowed and accepted all of the great things that I not only deserved but desired to be allowed into my realm like a flowing stream of crystal clear water that was pure, refreshing, soothing, calming and cleansing to me. And just like that it was done.
I am glad that the swelling in my nose finally went down…I can go outside again. I am glad that I no longer operate out of insecurity. I am glad that I have found myself…again. I am glad that I am able to be responsible. I am glad that I no longer need. I am glad that I no longer want…
I can’t find that list that I wrote…in January. Just like I can’t find that list with their names on it…
But something on that list came to past, when I said…thought that it would.
Worry about the message, not the messenger.
How many of us can say that they’ve been able to articulate...
The feelings, emotions, the appreciation that they have for someone who has inspired them to be who they are.
A brisk breeze blew over the open air forum.
The heat that bounced off empty and full vessles, swelled to an uncomfortable existence, that led us to that point.
Sometimes there is nothing to say.
Sometimes silence says it all.
A conversation with him made it all better.
An admiration that extends past my own understanding
Let me know that just like him, I would be okay…
Cause I’m a sure boy with an open heart…
Down to finish what I start,
Can’t nobody change my tune…
Cutting the strings that kept us tangled, had to be cut.
Understanding my place not only in my life, but his.
Sometimes eye contact says what we need to.
Make the lasting impression and disappear.
The bearded lady appeared again.
I loved her…infatuated.
There is something there, but timing is important.
He ended the night and told me,
"Sometimes we are just parodies in our own existence."
Press Play First...
The Final Act:
I knew my lines. Verbatim.
I was in the role of my life.
The caring friend,
That turned into the caring boyfriend
That turned into the good man scorned
That turned into the never existed.
I said wouldn’t give you a second chance
But here we stand on the brink of the 4th go round and I jumped
Right before it happened, Déjà vu I’ve been here before.
It hates you for all that you’ve done.
Mislead me with you lies,
I treated you like a prize
Played the fool one too many times
Too many times, I’ve been my own demise.
In you stroll,
Smug and meek.
Humble, pretending to be.
Glass half empty
Glass half full,
I see you for the weak bitch you are
I needed you when I operated out of insecurity.
You are what you attract is true.
But I’ve moved on
I’ve made up my mind
I’ve got to get it right this time.
Right for me.
Not for you – not some lame ass “this time lets make it right.”
What about the other times, where you did and said the same thing.
You were doing the same thing when I met you,
You were doing the same thing when I left you,
And guess what, when I saw your ass again you were doing what…
The only thing that has changed is time
I’m not falling victim to hope again…
Stupidity doesn’t have an age.
But it does have a limit.
The limit surpasses you,
But stops at me.
I’ve got to go.
I’ve been here for one night only.
I’ve been the understudy.
I’ve extended my stay.
Now it is time for me to bow.
Dignity, Respect, Confidence in tow.
The curtain has fall down.
The lights are on…
The co-star to you show…
The one that you need to make it,
Is no where to be found.
No longer around,
To make you the star.
they have failed you before?
and they've done nothing to help....
They HAVE great ideas, but what has become of them?
Something is to be said for an idea with no action plan.
Pay attention to what goes on...who makes things happen.
Who does exactly what they say they are going to do...then you will know who to follow and who to support.
a mission full of twists, turns, heartaches and pain...
only to be leveled and restored by the faith that he always believes in.
the faith that keeps him grounded.
a conversation with a friend
most know as a famous face,
calmed him like a peaceful brisk fall wind that
always and only came when the timing was right.
optimistic to the maxed
i walked in confident
he called his name
and he answered to it.
his eyes lit up bright.
the same eyes that i knew once before
the same eyes that i fell in love with...but not this time
for once, I wasn't caught up.
I was secure in who I was and I knew that he couldn't provide that for me.
conversation was light
but there was always time for a smile
familiar faces seen again.
just like that blowing of the familiar wind.
positivity runs through my veins
as my fame rose to the name of the game.
we exchanged laughs
i let go of the past
and realized that it wasn't our place in time
but this time the time is right.
i missed them
and I saw things for what they were
all because he bought me
that shot of patron.
you fall for someone...that you really want.
And the person you've should have really fallen for...
you ignored them
you used them
you disrespected them.
Then the person that you wanted so bad...
and disrespected you.
You don't understand.
Life isn't fair.
when it rings.
you may not want to answer.