It has been a good long minute since I've sat down to write.
I write every day, whether it be notes to myself, a witty twitter comment or some banterous jargon that I come up with to make someone feel like shit.
My blog became popular because I wrote. 5 Years ago - when that happened. Writing that in itself is humbling, funny and inspiring. It's the ONLY CONSISTENT (inconsistently consistent) thing i've done this whole time....write.
Just sitting here. Silence. Besides the Minnie Ripperton playing in the back ground. Dim lights and reflections all around me, I suddenly feel like that 22 year old kid that I used to be, excited to write. With all of the hope, ambition and courage in the world. No one could tell me NO! Because I knew that I was right. I knew that I had a right to live, a right to be who I was - and express it the way I chose.
For a while I let this part of me die. I forgot how to write. I didn't want to write anymore. I was mad that I had been given this "thing" and it had done nothing but brought me more madness. I had no clue of what my gift could really do for me, until I became...
Suddenly, this lesson that we all have to go through called, learning life had been put on hold. All of the issues that I was learning to deal with had been ignored by "the fame," that I created. An ugly thing it was. lol...
Suddenly I became a person I did not recognize.
That same boy that I was dealing with, that didn't have a daddy, surfaced and wasn't going away like he used to.
And every move that I made was related to that little boy that never grew up.
I'm learning how to write all over again. Something like, learning to swim all over again, "Finally I believe that I can..." the lyric that she wrote.
Clarity is a beautiful thing - and it should be cherished.
Love is something that we all know how to do. Something that we are all capable of giving and receiving.
It's better when you know yourself. that makes so much of the difference.
more to come...