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8.26.2010

Focus On The Good and LEARN from the bad.

You know, I'm starting to finally realize (accept) that everyone doesn't have your best interest and some people are mad at where you are in life, because of the warped choices they made for whatever reason. It's never to late to become the person that you've always wanted to become. Realizing when to do it is the tricky part.

Life is all about the choices that you make. I haven't always made the best or the smartest decisions, but I've definitely have learned the hard way by not listening to my intuition or "gut" feeling. But I know one thing for sure, moving to the east coast has been one of the best decisions that I've made in my life thus far. I have finally rediscovered myself and it feels damn fuckin' good.

As I was speaking on the phone with my uncle, I was just telling him that I'm very thankful and grateful that I have a job, because I remember what it was like when I was broke - and struggled. Couldn't do shit, I was angry. But now, I'm blessed with a job that I can go to everyday and just be myself. For once, I've finally got a position that fits me perfectly, a job in which I can utilize all the skills that I've attained along the way. A job that gives me responsibility and enough decision making power that keeps my brain sharp. I was hired for my merits. Believe it or not, I've never shared this, but I've had plenty of jobs! Ask any of my L.A. friends. I was always getting fired or quitting a job. I've never told anyone, how one of my female bosses told me, "The only reason why I hired you is because I wanted to fuck you." That's just one instance - and not even the tip of the iceberg.

The current position I'm in now, I applied for it back in March. To date, it's been one of the best interviews I've ever been on in my life. I didn't get the position right away and when I walked out of the interview, I knew that I didn't get the job. I didn't yield to defeat, because I knew that it was a damn good interview and I had left an impression. One day, I was sitting at my desk at my last job - and I prayed, long and hard...(pun intended) and I talked to God. And when you speak to him, just talk to him like you would one of your good friends and the key is to be specific - tell him exactly what you want. One thing is for sure, I wanted out of that job, it was starting to hinder me.

About a week after my prayer, I got a call from the H.R. department of my job. The representative informed me that there was a position open and was I still looking for a job. I immediately replied yes and i knew it right when I got the call, that it was time and God heard my prayer. When I inquired more about the position she informed me that it was the same job I had applied for back in March and that the last person they picked didn't work out and that my new boss, requested me specifically. She went on to tell me that he wanted me to start right away, so quick that I didn't have time to give a two week notice to my previous job. This was on Wednesday, he wanted me to start Monday. Tell me God isn't phenomenal!

During my initial panel interview (I was interviewed by 5 people at once) there was this one person that I knew didn't like me. His body language said it and he kept giving me difficult questions and scenarios that he knew that I wasn't going to answer. WRONG. I have superb oratory skills and my light shines as bright as the sun, everyone in the room recognized it. He was just being a hater, like he was today when he emailed my boss and told him I didn't clock out, which is a grade A, first offence at my job, just like most jobs. But because my job is sensitive in nature they take the shit a little more serious.

This asshole has nothing better to do than to find the smallest things and magnify them. I fixed his ass. I'm the timekeeper at my job and when there was no one in the position, he kept the time by default. For some strange reason, he keeps attempting to keep tabs on the clock and do my job for me as if I'm incapable of performing the operation. Number one, I'm not going to argue with him or start shit. If he wants to take on more responsibility and do my job for me, cool, it's one less thing I have to worry about. But if you're watching and waiting for me to slip up, just so you can catch me up, it'll never happen. Needless to say I forgot to clock out last night, by the time I got into work this morning he had already emailed my boss snitching like a bitch, my boss forwarded me the email...So after I clocked in and read the chain letter, I put an end to it. I clocked out at 8:09 and adjusted my clock out time to 4:30 p.m. My boss came to me at 3 and said "I see you clocked out for the day" and winked at me. FUCK A HATER EVERY TIME. IF A BITCH IS FUCKING WITH YOU, IT'S OKAY TO PLAY THEIR GAME BACK, SHUT THEM DOWN AND WIN, YOU NEED NO PERMISSION TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! AND YOU NEVER HAVE TO BE DISRESPECTED OR BELITTLED BECAUSE OF SOMEONE ELSES ISSUE. Bet that's the last time he plays with me...for a while at least. I will never understand why people do silly ass shit like that. But I see them and I know who they are. Never come out of yourself because of someone else's insecurity or misery.

The bottom line is, when God opens a door for you, there is nothing no one can do to close it -PERIOD POINT BLANK- and I like I always say, when you treat people with respect and don't snatch their dignity and you pray...you'll win each and every time, even when it looks like you're losing, sometimes haters have to be confused to throw them off. It's all a part of God's plan of protection for you. My manager said some words that resonate with me daily. "God works for us not against us".

Let go of old pain, the longer you harbor negativity, the less space you have to be blessed with new opportunities of opulence that you're deserving of.

Be quiet! Sometimes it's best not to say much or say anything at all, that's how you know God is working, and you can hear his voice loud and clear.

Limit yourself! Everyone isn't always going to be happy for you - and you'll see the signs. When you're trying to do something different from everyone else, you're going to be faced with opposition from all sides! It's okay to eliminate people! Travel light, travel far!

Pray, have a conversation with God and show him what you're willing to do, to get what you ask for, nothing is just going to fall out of the sky into your lap, you have to work hard. And if something does fall in your lap, question the source and think about it...Adam bit that apple, you see what kinda shit he got us into.

And finally, I can't say it enough! TREAT PEOPLE RIGHT! AIN'T SHIT GOOD GONNA COME TO YOU UNTIL YOU TREAT PEOPLE WITH LOVE AND RESPECT, EVEN WHEN THEY PLOT AGAINST YOU! Trust and believe it's hard, but if you saw some of the people that plotted against me...and where they are at now. Never give up or let people steal your dreams, make it happen! Love these crazy ass hoes walking around undiagnosed, but don't ever live for them!

I've been in some dark places. Even though it was difficult for me to focus on the positive, there was always a pinhole of light that gave me inspiration and hope. We all have a lot to be thankful for and when you start to think about it, your entire perspective will change.

Be blessed and have a phenomenal evening.

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