Glitterazzi: A group of gay men who are well known (fake red carpet hoes) in certain social circles or groups, who appear to be famous and or well known...particularly only within that group. They pretend to be all inclusive and ever so supportive of one another, but it's really just an attempt to make sure one does not surpass the other.
For a very long while, I attempted and tried my hardest to be apart of the Glitterazzi. I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought that it would help my career and enhance my social circle. I didn't know what the fuck I was thinking then - maybe hoping that I would finally fit in somewhere. I was temporarily successful - but you can't play for both teams, the good and evil or the real and the fake simultaneously. I can't be a fake bitch for long. It's never been apart of my makeup. Once I was in, I realized what a setup it was. I wasn't like any of them. My world didn't and still doesn't revolve around partying, fashion, being promiscuous and or sharing sex partners while pretending to be friends with someone, only to see how they operate - just to catch them up. When I excused myself, that's when the world as I knew it started to crumble and fall apart.
It was fall of 2007. I was just starting out on my book tour to promote my second novel, "Full Circle". I was excited. I was an independent author, I had a strong, solid, fan base, I sold 10,000 books (at that point) but I was insecure, still ignoring my core issues and had yet to deal with my mentally unstable family life. Not to mention, I stopped hanging out with the "in" crowd.
Within 9 months of the start of my book tour, little did I know that I would get caught up in drama, chaos, mayhem, shade, sabotage and trickery. Eventually Trent Jackson ended up dying in July of 2008. Don't act like you don't remember, because the moment some of you shady faggots get a chance, you're going to attempt to remind me. Only a select few know the truth behind the incidents that ultimately led to my temporary demise (if you will). And finally I am getting to the point in which I am ready to talk about it...only when the book comes out tho.
Believe it or not, the very same people who played a part in befriending and welcoming me into their social circle, were the same bitch ass niggas that had a hand in making sure the Trent Jackson name was tarnished. Trust and believe they thought they succeeded and know that to this very fuckin minute they are reaching real far to see that this book gets held up long as possible.
For instance, I was in the process of finding one of the last models to be on the cover of the book. I reached out to a young man who would have portrayed one of the parts extremely well. Well, little did I know his friends are the C.E.O.'s of Glitterazzi, Inc. My chances are shot with him- but I was smart, I never sent him the pieces of the manuscript they wanted to see. Besides, I think I was right on the money when I decided to hire straight men to be on the cover of the book....
The past few months, people having been tugging at my balls to try and convince me to give them bits and pieces of the book. Please, if my manager hasn't even got a copy of the book, I'm not giving to some "random" person who asks for it. I'm keeping this shit on lock, because i know these muthafuckin bitch ass niggas have been talking...I know what they've been saying and I know what they want. They and everyone else may as well wait until this fall to run me $15.00 so we can all be on the same page! You'll know the truth about me, the Glitterazzi and everything in between.
The game is sick. It's even worse when you're black and gay. It would shock you, then again it wouldn't to hear about some of the things that go down behind the scenes and how some of your favorite gay internet stars are in real life...that's the thing, internet stars. I'm apart of it, but I'm not. Fortunately for me, I don't have to limit myself to the gay world, nor do I have to resort to botched up pseudo celebrity status to make it appear as though I'm important. It took me a minute for me to learn that I wasn't designed to EVER fit in. As a matter of fact none of us are. The quicker we learn that, the better off we'll be.
I've been wanting to talk about my experiences openly for quite sometime. I'm finally in a space in which I've healed with the last three years of my life and everything that came along with it. I'm blessed that i didn't turn out worse. I've made a lot of decisions that have worked out for me tremendously and I know that it's only going to get better.
I'm at peace with all that has happened with the gay kids, but I'll never forget what happened. Now that I know my place - I know what I have to do. It took me a minute to understand that i'm more than my sexuality.
I have a statement to make. Pop Life, coming soon to a bookshelf near you.