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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

11.05.2010

Friday Finale

  • Paul Mooney is the truth. I also believes he's gay. No Shade!
  • I'm homophobic.
  • People who have the best advice are ultimately telling you, don't fuck up like I did. I always end my advice with, "I used to be you." Never be ashamed of where you've been and what you've done. That's how you grow and stay out of bondage.
  • It doesn't make sense to argue or "hand a person their ass" (as Anthony would say) that's why my actions will always speak louder than words.
  • It's a muthafuckin shame, you gotta curse a nigga out to make him clean up after himself.
  • Speaking of actions. Since he doesn't like to wash dishes (load up the dishwasher) I removed all of the plates, saucers, bowls, forks, spoons, knives and cups out of the cabinets. Imagine the look on his face when he saw that, and read the note I left, written in red Jesus writing in the cabinet. Needless to say, when I woke up this morning, Mr. Clean himself had been in the kitchen. You would have thought that Mommy Dearest had supervised the whole effort, while the PineSol Lady cheered him on. Let's see how long it lasts.
  • Why do niggas always gotta make shit difficult for the upwardly mobile, progressive blacks?
  • One night while high (weed) in Los Angeles, I looked over at my friend and told her I wanted to do stand up. She replied, "I don't think you're that funny." I respond, "Bitch you've been laughing at everything I've said, so I must be funny." She responded "True." Never let a bitch crush your dreams on the slightest. I say all that to say, after giving a presentation in class last night, about 10 people told me I should do stand up. I signed up for amature night next weekend. I'll let you know how it goes.
  • I finally had some mind blowing sex. He wasn't expecting me to dig in his ass that deep. When we were done, "same time next week?" #hooked
  • I only want to date men 32-45 anyone under that age, more than likely can't handle my skill set...let me take that back, my package.
  • I'm not gay. Pretending to be gay makes me more interesting and popular. A marketing technique.
  • I excel at everything I do. Have you had my food or had sex with me? #Priceless Not to mention my talent and logical ability.
  • I'm not cocky, I'm just embracing who I am.
  • I'm overdue for a body wax. I shaved my chest in the shower last night. I felt liberated.
  • Next time I buy paper towels and put them in the kitchen, they shouldn't end up in the bathroom.
  • I bet he's never had his ass ate out like that before. #EatItThenBeatIt
  • Earlier this week someone said that I was the "Kelly Rowland" of publishing. Insinuating that my project is "always coming out, but ends up getting pushed back." To my knowledge I just said the tentative release date for my book like two days ago. Actions will speak louder than words.
  • Success is the best way to argue. Let your actions and work speak for itself.
  • yes...my very 1st Prince concert.
  • Ever since I sat in the front row for Anita Baker's concert a couple of years ago, I only buy premium seats.
  • This mini-family reunion is in two weeks. I'm relaxed, but I hope none of them cross me. "My love is furious, but I believe in blowin' up spots."
  • I can't way to see my uncle's 1st child. I haven't seen him since he was born last year...and I missed my annual trip to Ireland this year. He's big enough for me to pick up now.
  • I want a baby.
  • My sister and I have puppies, they are like 3 weeks old. She did not agree to the names "Tiger & Euphrates" :-/ I originally wanted the boy's name to be Bruno or Conrad. But when I held them in my arms, I came up with those cute, overly-dramatic gay man dog names. Go figure.
  • One of my twitter followers is an exact replica of Carl Thomas. I had a crush on him (Carl) senior year. Straight boys are fun to look at. I never touch them. I stay in my lane, but I always signal before I attempt to get over.
  • Most straight men don't have a problem with you being gay, as long as you know your boundaries.
  • There is this premier spot for partying that I need to be at.
  • It's time for me to start being on the circuit, gotta promote this book. I'm going to be stepping out of my comfort zone seriously to do this.
  • Why would I put myself in a Gay box? There is no such thing as gay fame.
  • When I order from staples why does the order always have to teeter on the line of 1,000 dollars.
  • OMG, so. I am coming up with this one man show called, "Turn the Mic On: Throwing Bitches under the Bus" can you fuckin' imagine when that shit hits?
  • I'm so talented I don't know what to do next.
  • It's funny how sex will change your whole mood...it's almost like weed, some good sex will make you not give a fuck about no stupid shit.
  • I really hope this nigga doesn't make me flex on him...
  • OMG speaking of flexing, please tell me you've seen this! Anytime I feel like I wanna kick a nigga in the windpipe for keeping up some silly shit, I watch that video and it's all better.
  • I am now infatuated with Mini Cooper's. I used to be infatuated with a Hummer.
  • "It's the teflon lord! Can't shoot through Jesus!"
  • Gap's fragrance for men, "Mixed" is cute.
  • I'm going to a party in the Hampton's this weekend. I wonder who will be there.
  • I can't wait to find some more money to give Nordstrom. There shoe department is sickening.
  • Don't hate because I'm me.
  • Therapy is a necessity for some...most.
  • Have a phenomenal weekend.

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