Me

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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

11.10.2010

Witty Wednesday

  • I guess my nigger ass boss just had to give me some "work" to do. Every other Thursday I have a team lead meeting, with all of the other department leads. The meeting was held today because of the holiday tomorrow. Most meetings last an hour...after the meeting, he told me I had another Government meeting to attend. I usually don't attend those unless my CIO (Chief Information Officer, the person that runs my office) requests it. He didn't. I told him there was no real purpose for me to go...long story short, he wanted me to take minutes. BITCH. Why did they do nothing but argue? They turned a 30 minute meeting into two hours of nothing! And the killer...my tape recorder stopped after 10 minutes of recording. LMFAO! See...he just couldn't be content without micromanaging. The moral of the story: Anytime you set a trap for someone, you get caught in it yourself. Hmmmhmm.
  • At this point, I'll just purchase Body Magic and a Slim-T to go over that. Thanks Kym!
  • Bitches be mad when you put them and yourself on blast. You take away their power and you maintain yours. Take a note bitch.
  • I'm not ashamed to throw my own ass under a moving bus. It allows me to examine my own stupidity, my own insecurities and it helps me make more educated decisions. Furthermore, it keeps me from dealing with dumb ass people.
  • I'm not exempt and we all need help.
  • I choose to work for the greater good, not only do I get unexpected bonuses and perks, the pay is consistent. 
  • It's so easy to be a bitter black bitch, plus the benefits suck worse than a sick drippy dick that gets worse by the day. Pretty soon you'll be acting like Cruella DeVille and looking like Whitney Houston at the height of her "Primo" addiction. :-/ Yall remember that shot that surfaced of her in that mangy fur coat with that young queen, picking up a 3 pack of magnums, on his way from the club. In case you forgot -------------------------------->
  • My boss gets his nut off by talking down to people. His wife must run the shit out of him. Ol' Cadillac driving, Homer Simpson looking, NewportBarcardi151RottenPussy smellin' ass nigga. He's too old to be carrying on like that! Sit the fuck down, collect a check and be glad you're not living off of social security. It's people worse off than you and you have the nerve to come to work fuckin' with folk! Be grateful hoe.
  • For Your Information, I will not catch my own self up by talking to much. If you want to know something, LISTEN to what I am telling you. If that's not enough, read my book. I only chirp on twitter and talk when I'm being paid.
  • I repeat myself for a reason.
  • This stupid ass nigga from high school, emails me: "Did I see you walking by the Capital building in D.C.?" Me: Yes. Him: "Please tell me you didn't move to D.C." Me: I didn't move to D.C. Him: "Every time I think you're out of my life, here you come again." Me: I am out of your life. You fuckin' emailed me bitch. Next time you see me, don't say shit to me and stop seeking me out. I don't like you, I don't want to fuck with you. I didn't say shit to your weird looking ass. I forgot to add that he stole the grinder that my uncle purchased for me on my birthday excursion to Amsterdam. That motherfucker is going to have a karmic episode for that shit. I just hope that he's mentally strapped to handle all the negativity that going to come back and bite him in the ass.
  • Why do people always act surprised when bad shit happens to them? You really can't expect anything to go right in your life until you treat people right and respect God. Bow down bitch.
  • It's been a long time coming.
  • There is one male friend that I absolutely love. Like, I love that dude for life. #Nohomo
  • When you treat people right. You are treated right.
  • You wouldn't believe me if I told you that 6 months ago, I didn't know where my next meal was coming from.
  • You gotta smash & burn rubber on these hater ass niggas.
  • Oh yeah. Bitch you may be a native, but you don't RUN THIS CITY. My work speaks for itself. Your attitude speaks for you. #trash
  • Trade is for fucking purposes only. And never at your house...
  • You don't fuck with me cause I don't tolerate your bullshit and you know I'm real.
  • It's always the bitches that's causing problems, giving you hell and starting shit that never realize that they'll have to come back to the person they're fucking over to get something done. Mmmmmhmmm. It kills you doesn't it?
  • I finally found a "Hood Bitch" that lives in an upscale part of town who is well connected in street pharmaceuticals.
  • You can't trust none of these hoes.
  • My first publishing company, that I recently settled out of court with, still ain't sent me my master files. In fact let me call them right now...
  • Here this nigga go plotting crimes against the nigga thats ultimately gonna help him.
  • I love how when I came back to my office, the Vice-President of the company's card was on my desk.
  • Did I tell you I had to write a nastygram (a shit talking, eloquent letter) to my University? Anyway, the Chancellor of the school called me directly at 8 in the evening, then setup a follow up meeting with me on Tuesday...I am the catalyst for change. I'll tell you about it when it's time.
  • When I'm stressed out my bowel track goes haywire. Thank God I'll be in L.A. next week I can go see my herbalist before I hop this plane to Mercer Island.
  • I don't know why...never mind.
  • Anytime you askin' somebody what time they coming home, you up to no good. That what I used to call and ask my momma when I wanted to fuck niggas in they ass before they mommas got home.
  • That nigga loves throwing people under the bus in the meetings. I hope he knows that I'm taking notes and I'm on guard the next time he wants to try me. He did it once before.
  • I need one good ol' 69 session.
  • It's this dude in my area that I met 6 years ago back in L.A. while on my 1st book tour. He's always been nice to cuddle up with. I need to explore that...if nothing he'd be a good friend.
  • My mother is attempting to derail my plans at making her a Grandmother. I'll never ask her to babysit. I know what kind of parent she is.
  • The cover for Pop Life...
  • I love plump, spread apart cakes that I can stick my face into...
  • I'll be celebrating my Veteran's Day by blowing the back out of this active duty Marine...

1 comment:

STFULoveShawn said...

I'mma need these posts to be shortened. My eyes are bleeding green colored font. I feel dizzy.