Me

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Read my blog, listen to my shows, read my books...then you'll know me. Thanks.

12.27.2010

Is Christmas Over Yet bitch?

  • Girl, Raz-B is just mad cause she got run through all them times and still ended up broke. #JesusWasNotPleased
  • There is nothing you can do for internal hemorrhoids. And to think I've never been fucked in my ass. UGH!
  • My early morning sex session, ended up being a therapy session. This must be some type of sign that I should drop out of Law School and get a degree in therapy. He kept asking me was he attractive!? WTF I look like fuckin' with a ugly muthafucka, I'm just saying. He has a nice nose....he is a cute guy.
  • He ate my ass right and touched every one of my spots. It's like he intuitively knew what to do to me...he almost had me giving up my ass.
  • I'm versatile. I just haven't been fucked yet. If were not married or close to it...TRY AGAIN.
  • Speaking of my early morning sex session, I hate it when I know I'm performing and a muthafucka tells me to stop cause he's not ready to nut. Nigga, don't get mad because I made you nut quicker than the last three niggas and two bitches that sucked your dick :-/ Bend over and take this dick!
  • Any homosexual under the age of 25 is doomed. LMAO...yall fags could learn a lot from me and @GaryTylone but yall too fuckin stupid to listen. Take a clue bitch.
  • I fucked the shit out of that Trinidadian! Who knew they took dick!!??
  • I'm going to take that one particular boy on a date. I have plans for him...or us I should say. Even though that sounds real stalker like, I could enhance his life in so many ways.
  • Christmas wasn't that bad. I channeled all of those emotions into a character named Darryl Manning. Yall are going to love him!
  • I didn't ask for anything for Christmas because I didn't want to be let down. I was let down anyway. No one ever thinks of me, but it's okay for me to give, give, give...but the thing about giving is that you don't do it to get anything back. Peter Gebeshian taught me that. What people don't understand is that when you give, when you need something the most, you always get it, thus you're never in need of anything...
  • I am sick and tired of these faggots. Tisk, tisk, tisk...then they'll complain that they're underrepresented, mistreated, misunderstood and mad cause no one respects them. Then when they get someone to represent, treat them right and understand them, they don't know how to act. Girl sit down!
  • I need to find a travel partner! No one is down to travel and have fun anymore! Boo...
  • Bow down Bitch!
  • When I was insecure, I thought everyone hated me cause I was gay and fat. In reality, if I'm comfortable so is everyone else. Love yourself bitches! I love grabbing my man boobs.
  • My booty is definitely bigger...and I can pull yo' nigga but I don't want him.
  • Bitch, I was devastated when Teena Marie died! I thought Twitter was lying again. Then I called one of Teena's close friends - and when she picked up the phone crying I knew...
  • I live an amazingly rich life. I had the pleasure of meeting Teena and hanging out with her on a few occasions. I even went to a couple of her birthday parties. She was real as shit.
  • It's funny how you admire someone growing up. Listening to their music, reading their books, watching their movies - next thing you know, you're at their house eating dinner or partying with them...
  • I'm blessed. When you treat people with respect, acknowledge what you've done, you're honest, and you love...no matter what happens God will always make a way.
  • I never told anyone this, but when I first moved from L.A. I did it with $50 dollars in my pocket. I was broke. I lost everything. My car, my apartment, my friends...my mind. GONE! I was at a dead end. I was tired. My walls were closing in and I had come close to death too many times in Los Angeles, I had to leave. I used my frequent flier miles to move to the east coast. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing except for two people. There were days where I went without eating. I didn't have a place to live. I second guessed myself for moving without a concrete plan. I cried for days at a time, not knowing where anything was coming from. Here I was broke, abandoned, confused...but there was something that kept me going. And a year later...everything has turned around. If it were not for my manager who kept me together and the people that God put in my path to make sure I didn't break, I don't think I would have made it. When I needed something the most...
  • In retrospect, all the negative shit that I've been through, doesn't even matter. I'm blessed to still be living. To still be creating...
  • Never give up on life, even when you think it has given up on you...did you get that?
  • Keep going, when you have nothing left - just move...it will come to you.
  • All you have to do is get up.
  • I have a lot to talk about regarding "Pop Life" - I can't wait to dish tea. A few things I've learned during this process:
    • You can't take everyone with you.
    • Everyone isn't on your team.
    • People will say they are down - and they're not.
    • Everyone doesn't come in peace.
    • Even when you're intentions are nothing but pure and u want to help people, people still find something wrong with it.
    • You have to let people "be."
  • Actions speak louder than words.
  • If people don't take the initiative don't fuck with them.
  • People fail to realize that I provide opportunties that help them. They always want to board the train midway during the trip.
  • I see a lot of talented gay kids...they'll never do anything positive with it because their attitude stinks. They lack work ethic. They don't believe in hard work. They are only concerned about 3 things: Rihanna, Sex and clothes. I wasn't like that...and still not. Yes I'm judging.
  • I'm successful. Not very many people can say that.
  • I got four offers to lunch before noon...my stock is rising.
  • I understand hurt, I understand pain. I understand bitterness. I've been all of those things. But I eventually came to a crossroad: live in anger for the rest of my life or take a chance and see what happens.
  • Let Go!
  • Let people plot. They are only short changing themselves.
  • I'm no longer going to force it. Everything will come together at it's own time.
  • Life is what you make it.
  • Never give up on your dreams.
  • Look in the mirror and say, "Damn you look good."
  • Even in complete darkness, there is always a pinhole of light. Keep looking at it.

12.25.2010

Confessions of a Bitter Black Bitch on Christmas

  • One thing is for sure, I made this bed so I have to lay in it.
  • I wanted to be alone on Christmas. In retrospect, I really didn't want that. I just didn't want to fly to L.A. at the price of $700 and end up in my room avoiding my family cause they keep up too much shit. Honestly, they annoy me - and I don't really think they get me. I never really felt like I fit in with them anyway. I think they're full of shit and two-faced as hell.
  • The truth of the matter is that I really don't like my family, with the exception of maybe three people.
  • Every adult in my life has failed me on some level.
  • It takes a minute to get over childhood trauma. I'm almost there. 
  • It's okay for me to send money and gifts, but I get nothing in return. Not that I asked for anything (thanks to my mother for making me too independent) - but you'd be surprised at how quick people will tell you what you they want, knowing damn well they can't afford to give you shit...and don't intend on giving you shit.
  • A few weeks ago on twitter, I said  
      
    "I'd rather be lonely than to wake up one day and have a bunch of fake ass bitches with motive around me...I lived that life before." Funny thing is I still kind of live that life. I can't stand a leach. 
  • When you're honest and live authentically, you live a lonely existence.
  • I don't like nor do I trust anyone, anymore...well that isn't completely true. I can't throw everyone under the bus. That really isn't fair. People who understand me know what I'm talking about.
  • this can't be karma for something I've done - people are just vicious, treacherous, vampires. They come and they suck the life out of you.
  • I say the shit you wish you had enough balls to say out loud.
  • Please don't call my phone after you read this, I really don't have anything to talk about. 
  • I hate text messages as well. They are impersonal, ineffective and they cause too much shit. I'm old school. I grew up pre myspace, faccebook, cell phones, computers, texting...blah, blah, blah.
  • Sobriety reminds you that you still have unresolved issues. I like it. But in 7 days I'll be high again. I just had to do a brief check in.
  • Watching celebrity rehab, made me check a few of my issues. I think I actually want to consult Dr. Drew. There is always room for improvement.
  • I'm not having children.
  • His gesture was nice, but I still think he's a user. Used me to write his shit and now he can barely speak. Mmmmhmm. That's a faggot for you. Yup I said it.
  • I treat people with dignity and respect. People lack reciprocation and they also lack the understanding of universal law. They always call me when they need something or want to vent. If I call just to say "Hi, I was thinking about you," I get voicemail. Mmmmhmm. 
  • I'm about to be real unavailable. 
  • I think I'll call T-Mobile and cut my phone off today. I could use that $100 a month to stack towards a vacation to the islands. Thanks to my uncle for that passport investment and making travel possible. 
  • I'm totally uninterested. Can't you tell?
  • J.Lo had hits tho.
  • I have a strong disdain for homosexuals....I'm not gay so stop looking at me like that.
  • I'm so tired of being nice.
  • You know, I've never been really happy on my birthday. Well, last year was the closest. Yes. Last years was good. For the first time ever I didn't have to come out of pocket for shit. That actually felt nice.
  • Maybe I should just power my phone off for a week. I forgot I have new prospects.
  • 2011 is the year that I unleash the bitch that I've kept suppressed in my scrotum my entire childhood. Don't start no shit won't be none.
  • Fuck the family! The family doesn't do a got damn thing but drive you insane, make you use drugs and eat out of order, because they never got over what their parents did to them. The cycle is vicious!!
  • Merry Christmas...
  • One night I was drunk and this fag that was spreading lies about me was spotted at the bar. I broke a Heineken bottle over his head and walked out. I say all of that to say, I found the shirt I had on with the blood on it. Monica Lewinski on that ass...Yeah I did it.  Say Somethin!!!!!!
  • Oh...my man period is coming. This has to be why I'm acting like this. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
  • *Drops The Mic*

12.23.2010

I don't like flexing, but I will.

As most of you know I'm an office manager glamorized receptionist for a Government agency. I love my job and I'm so very blessed to be in this position.
Along with being the office manager comes a certain level of authority. The best thing about my job is the sharpening of my people skills. Being in this position has shown me that I am liked, I'm personable, easy to get a long with and easy to confide in. I'm a perfect fit for this position and because I am comfortable with where I am at and the way things are going, my guards have to be up. Because there are always snakes in the grass. I've finally got the grasp of balance.

Earlier this month I told you about some office drama with interviews. Well, they decided on an external candidate, which was whatever - but it still was shitty because if you have qualified people in house then why seek help outside? **ENTER OFFICE MANAGER TRENT JACKSON**

I see the shit happening as it's going down - and I can not be an innocent observer when people are being fucked in the ass with no lube. So what did I do? I waited until my boss, who we'll call Mr. Niggadamus Jones, went on vacation to set up the perfect ambush. Read my email to the director of my organization, who happens to love my ass like his favorite dish...#nohomo

Good Afternoon Jay -



I hope all is well on your end. In confidence, I just wanted to bring a few things to your attention. For starters, I just want you to know that I really hate composing emails of this nature, but I cannot allow things to get worse or even let things go unspoken, that I feel are inappropriate. A lot of what I’m bringing up in this email represents both facts and opinions, while I will keep my opinions limited – the things that I want to bring to your attention affect the entire office.

Over the past couple of weeks as I am sure you know we have been interviewing for our LAN Position as well as a Program Manager for the Securities division. While I understand that I do not make final hiring decisions, I am noticing that candidates are not being judged completely on their abilities and merits. This becomes a bit problematic for me, particularly when internal applicants are interviewed. It sends a damming signal to other employees within the agency who want to move up when the opportunity arises – that opportunity should not be shot down because of office politics or because of SES' who have infrequent interaction with candidates. The bottom line tension is brewing because an external candidate has been considered and persons in the Executive Office don’t have any qualms about letting that fact be known. Because of my position as the office manager I have privy to a lot of information that the Executive Office will never have, simply because they are not receptive enough to even have a conversation with their employees and to be frank they are out of touch. I find myself listening to employees vent about their issues with the Executive Office and furthermore, whenever there is a conflict, because of my position, I have to mediate - it's procedure. At this point I am trying to avoid a massive train wreck. I will say that I did bring these matters to Jan and because of her position she can only do so much. But she has been helpful, she has listened and taken into consideration my concerns. They did not fall on deaf ears.


To be frank, Mr. Niggadamus Jones, creates an extremely hostile work environment. Speaking on behalf of internal and external applicants, there have been a total of 5 complaints made to me, specifically regarding Mr. Niggadamus Jones inappropriate comments, body language and overall attitude during the interviewing process. All of the candidates have expressed their disenchantment with his intimidation tactics, his belittlement and his outright disrespect to candidates’ level of intelligence during the interview process.

Earlier this week I witnessed the most degrading comment come out of Mr. Niggadamus Jones, mouth during an interview with a candidate. Mr. Niggadamus Jones, posed the question “Where do you see yourself in one to five years?” The candidate paused and replied “In a senior network position, etc.” He responds, “Well what are you doing to get there? Are you taking classes, etc?” The candidate responded, “I’m not taking classes because my job situation is unstable. However does the agency offer tuition reimbursement?” Mr. Niggadamus Jones,  abrasively responded, “Well I see you don’t have any real goals – and it doesn’t matter if the agency offers tuition reimbursement, you’re not anywhere close to asking those types of questions.” I was stunned – and moments after Mr. Niggadamus Jones,  responded, after already coming into the interview 30 minutes late, the interview was completed moments after that. I ended up being dismissed with the candidate and I had to apologize to the candidate for Mr. Niggadamus Jones, rude, insensitive and inappropriate remarks. The candidate was affected by his comments after already having a rough interview. It bothered me that a potential employee was already being treated poorly. I cannot let that go unexcused.

Friday, December 17th, 2010 after our all hands meeting, another candidate came in for an interview. As soon as she exited her interview, she came into my office to get her parking card validated. She posed the question, “How can you work for him? He’s such an asshole.” She began to tell me that Mr. Niggadamus Jones, asked her a question and told her, “You’re not answering the question the way I want you to. Let me rephrase it, you obviously don’t understand what I’m asking you.” She basically told him, “Let’s move on to another question.” Something is wrong with this picture. His actions, behaviors need to be corrected on some level. His interpersonal skills are unacceptable and he has an extremely difficult time interacting and speaking with office staff. In all honesty, no one in this office wants to deal with him. We all have to come up with a strategy to deal with him daily. Not only is he against change, most of our ideas, suggestions are immediately shot down. In addition his micromanaging and creation of additional work that we are not accustomed to is teetering on the line of excessive.

In regards to our internal applicants – he drug them through a strenuous, combative, uncomfortable, degrading, insulting and uninformative interview process that left them not only uninterested but unsure of where they stood - and it is obviously clear that the internal applicants can thank him for the ride nowhere. Overall it is unbearably difficult to watch co-workers be mistreated. Then the agony of them venting to me infuriates me, because I too have been at the receiving end of Mr. Niggadamus Jones, nature.


My intent has never been to rock the boat in this office – however the waves that are hitting the people that keep this office running are beginning to chip away at their exteriors. I watch the process happen daily. I can only speak to the difference in morale and the environment since Mr. Niggadamus Jones,  arrival. The decline is tremendously obvious and it’s tragic that people who don’t work here and are completely foreign to him, make comments about his attitude and the way he interacts with people.


In closing, please understand that I just want you to be aware of the conditions in our working environment. I am usually armed with a solution when I am discussing a problem, but because this issue is with a manager and is sensitive in nature I don’t know the process, if there is one for this to be addressed. All in all I want to enhance our work environment and fully utilize my background to the best of my abilities. I feel that this is being somewhat limited due to the tone that Mr. Niggadamus Jones, has set. I have no problem speaking to your further about my concerns and maybe even offer solutions that I think would benefit everyone at large.



Respectfully Submitted,


TJ

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Mr. Niggadamus Jones!

The Winter Solstice.

  • I'm having second thoughts about being in a relationship. I shouldn't have let #SmallFry spend the night last night.
  • I miss #Taurus. It's very ambiguous. But I'm gonna have to tell him that I wanna smash those cakes. #EatItAndBeatIt
  • He kept grinding that flaccid dick on me all night and kept referring to it as "Penis" nigga say dick and I might put my mouth on it. :-/
  • My boss thinks he's slick. Keep on talking out the side of your neck nigga and see what happens. Let me go pop my bag of kettle corn so I can sit back and watch this movie in progress. Matter of fact let me check my email to see if his boss responded to the email I sent.
  • The Prince concert at Madison Square Garden was everything and more.
  • So they decided to go with an external candidate, a recipe for disaster. I expect to receive more two week notices.
  • My boss is such a fuckin' asshole. He's on vacation - and he decided to lock me out (electronically) of our new time keeping system. I know one thing, I'll just let him deal with 40 angry white people about not getting paid on time. I gets money...
  • OOOOOOH I forgot about him. He's a year younger than me...another black guy in the office. I don't fucks with him though. He doesn't speak when I speak to him, so fuck him. I'll have to show him like the rest. Nigga, you gotsta come through me to get that time card approved. Don't make me flex.
  • "Pop Life" everybody needs a thrill.
  • Did I tell you I'm seeing Prince again on the 18th?
  • The older I get the less I am concerned with Christmas. Although I love the decorations and the music.
  • The perfect Christmas in my mind is a trip to the Bahamas drinking a Patron margarita, while watching the waves hit the sand and laying up with a smart, educated, witty, attractive, thick, black dude who is my friend, my confidant and my lover...it's possible. If I can dream of being a published writer and watch that come true....
  • Thank God for Netflix, I still ain't watched this Anita Baker concert yet...
  • So I'll be locked in a room for like three days to tie up all loose ends before the year is out.
  • I rescheduled my "procedure" till after the New Year...
  • I think it's time for me to put out Season 9 of "In The Mix With Trent." It's literally been a whole year.
  • People who are unsuccessful look so miserable. Especially when they set traps for other people.
  • Being someones friend only to be nosey and tell their business gets you no where. When you need a friend, guess what? You'll be alone and borderline suicidal. Get back is a muthafucka ain't it?
  • In retrospect, he wasn't a friend. He hosted and honored all the other ones, but he was always low key nasty to me. He may have a nice house and throw great parties, but I know who he is when he is alone. I wonder if he's nice to people yet. I just wanted to be his friend. Old tired queen.
  • I don't brag. I tell about progression. I let you know that you can make it. If you only knew some of the places I've been. The things I've done out of insecurity and the place that I'm at now...bitch you'd be giving me money. God is real. Religion is not.
  • I am truly blessed. I must admit that slacked off major this semester. This was the first time in a decade that I've been a regular, for real, full-time student. I had some major adjustments to make. Thank God I had a fantastic teacher who nagged me to get my assignments in because she knew I was a good student and capable of getting things done. Karma has blessed me.
  • I always treat people well. I do right by them. This is why I stay blessed and my life moves forward. Being nice to people is like a savings account. You never know when you're going to need to dip in to make up for something that you lack.
  • I forgot that I was capable of writing good essay's. In fact my psychology paper was actually well written and concise. It was a proud moment for me to read that. I never give myself enough credit. If I want to receive, I have to give it to myself first.
  • Sheila E. coming on stage at Madison Square Garden to sing "Glamorous Life" and then bouncing is classic. That bitch rocked that song like it was the 80's all over. Prince is everything.
  • I love winter. My favorite and birth season is here...
  • It's all for you. If you really want it.
  • I leaked my book...did you get the link?
  • I love how the Feds said I didn't report income for two years in a row...liars. I told yall about them royalty checks.
  • The more assert myself, the better I feel.
  • Also with age, the less I care about what you late bitches think. (Not you...but you know)
  • The best way to get back at people is by doing what they told you, you couldn't do.
  • #MilitaryGuy is full of shit. I'm not dealing with him after today...this morning rather.
  • I feel good! Like the moon is shining just for me....
  • Biiiittttttch. Can this mercury retrograde hurry up and be over? I need to buy these new electronic pieces.
  • I mailed one of my aunt's a Christmas card. The inscription read, "Fuck over a kid and see what happens to your life."
  • KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS.
  • "From Thursday December 23, through Monday January 10, I am unavoidably out of office." Can someone please hand my boss a dictionary and give him a lesson on proper word usage? Thank you. I'm tired of thinking for him
  • Gays are so predictable and uninteresting to me.
  • I have a crush on a presumed heterosexual. Why do the curious boys always hit on me? I need a man who knows that he likes to be held at night by another man.
  • Sometimes you have to fight for whats right and be the catalyst for change. When it's done in LOVE and ENHANCEMENT you'll always win.
  • Clorox bleach will always clean the dirty load...
  • P.S. #SmallFry, I don't get out of bed to make a nigga shit, especially if he's not sticking his tongue in my hole or running it up and down my dick...fuck, even kissing me. In fact, why are you even asking for food.
  • If you see something wrong, it's your duty to say something...you never know when someone is going to help you, when someone is wronging you.
  • I'm so tired of smoking weed. Like really.
  • Fuckin shame that you gotta tak shit to a nigga first before you can have a normal conversation.
  • Wait!! **PAUSE** Did that nigga #SmallFry really ask if he could have my bottle of Don Julio? That nigga done fell and bumped his head.
  • I got invited to the house in The Hamptons for NYE. His sister invited me. His family still loves me, but I am not going up there to look at him and Larissa, even though everyone adores me.
  • You done talked and did all this shit thinking you're black Jesus and shit, but guess what? I'm the type of shady bitch that will wait till you leave on vacation to throw you under a bus bitch and have your bosses and a litter of white men in Armani suits waiting on you as soon as you come back from vacation.
  • See, you thought you were a big boy and had it all under control, thinking you were gonna out do me. MMMMHMMM, back where you started...tenacity...it will take you places you'd never thought you'd go.
  • I watched Dynasty as a kid, that is why I read bitches for filth.
  • You will always have to come to or through me to get something done. Bow down and respect my gangsta...
  • I need a RedBull
  • oh yeah...Merry Christmas bitches!!!

12.16.2010

Where is my fiber tab? I need to release some shit.

  • My co-worker has a running joke, "You been smokin'?" :-/ I really should stop using my phone while under the influence of anything while standing on my 10th floor balcony in 20 degree weather.
  • I miss him already.
  • I've almost fallen four times while in my Ugg boots. Now they have some unidentified stain on them. I should have bought that cleaner that Sam tried to sell me. Sam is my new Shoe Shopper at Nordstrom. The half yearly sale starts in 10 days. Bitch I am about to sell them my ass!
  • You know, in spite of everything, you buy my books. I got the receipts to prove it.
  • Speaking of books, I need to call the printer and have them swipe this card for payment. 1.11.11
  • Scratch my five previous bullet points and read  The BlackSexMaster's post. It will gather you together for the roosting. That bitch read me a few of my rights, while using my own words against me...lol j/k, but seriously, it was right on point and long over due. What I love about him most is his eloquence. He keeps it simple while going for the jugular. I love it!
  • I'm convinced my boss wears depends.
  • Grape Juice has deep cleansing effects.
  • Why is it that I always seem to attract men who are straight presumed heterosexuals (opportunistic homosexuals) but want to have sex with me?
  • Awww. Ciara. If you're going to use Janet Jackson's formula for success, make sure you take notes properly. Here are the cliffs notes:
        • Stick with the same producers, you fucked up when you stop riding Jazzy Pha's short fat dick.
        • Re-invention is key. New wigs, new weaves, different designers, new dance moves.
        • Experiment while remaining yourself at the core. We all know that Janet's melodies are in her choruses. Where are yours?
        • Repeat the same thing in all of your interviews.
        • Gain 20 pounds then loose it.
  • I think friendship with men is more valuable and more important than sex any day.
  • I take pictures with white people.
  • When you motivate others, someone will always come to motivate you. I'll never forget the people who pushed me to success in the most soothing ways.
  • The holiday party at work Tuesday was low key, but it was fun.
  • I sent out a Christmas Card that read, "Merry Christmas Asshole." I would love to see the expression on my sisters fathers face when he opens it. BitchAssNigga
  • I would wait to go shopping online when it's time for me to get off of work.
  • Hot damn hoe, here I go again. I have homework due today and ask me if I even started it?
  • My science teacher (my last stupid class) keeps dick riding me for an assignment that I have no interest in turning in, but maybe I should do it. I might surprise myself and get a B. I need that shit considering I did fail a class this semester.
  • I've come to the accept the startling fact that I'm a big time procrastinator and I am my own worst enemy. 
  • "Shading" someone is always pre-meditated.
  • Didn't I have $500 dollars yesterday? I mean, I'm down to 300, wtf is going on?
  • I wonder if there is some of that chocolate cake left?
  • I felt so liberated walking around my room in a v-neck and a pair of big boy bikini briefs last night. I didn't have any eyes watching my every movement.
  • Saturday, I will sleep all day. WAIT! NO! I can't do that. Prince concert! #FML Like I'm interested, but I'm tired.
  • I really need to get a grip.
  • I unnecessarily waste time.
  • Why can't twitter have a feature where u can just go down the list of people to delete?
  • I think I may need to try rehab one more time. Never mind.
  • In fact, if I had a boyfriend there would be no need for drug intake. It's a swap.
  • I sound like an addict and I don't like the sound of that! **PAUSE**
  •   "Love the person who saw you when you were invisible. #TheLoveTeacher" I'll never forget the night I met @JLawr3nce. I was invisible that night - but there was an undeniable connection. That meant a lot to me. I can't wait to see him.
  • I'm reading Paul Mooney's biography "Black is the New White", at the suggestion of my friend @Miss_Nikkia OMG! I love it so far...I tend to only read autobiographies/memoirs. It's more effective reading when I'm getting ready to put out a book of my own.
  • I need to call the hospital and have this procedure rescheduled till after the new year...I also need to call my insurance to see how much of this they are soaking up.
  • I'm not giving/gifting anymore money to her. I am really starting to get annoyed that people are asking for money. The fuck outta my pocket just cause you know I got it. Family gets on my last dam nerves.
  • Didn't think I would ever be the one you'd have to ask for money.
  • I love it how people will talk shit to you all of your life, casually forget they did it, then turn around and ask for help from you. I thought I was young and stupid who didn't know anything? Hmph. Funny how tables turn.
  • I have a lot of work to do. Thank God there are people in place to make this happen more than I want it, it says a lot doesn't it?
  • I have really fallen off. I'm starting to recognize a guy I do not like, that I've been before.
  • Where is my rapid detox kit?
  • Where is my fiber tab? I need to release some shit!

12.14.2010

Merry Christmas from Trent Jackson

The Cold of Winter

  • Ask me how I felt when I was stuck in my building's elevator this morning!?!?!?! BIIIIITCH. I live on the 10th floor. Imagine carrying a crock pot full of edible goodies, pressing the 1st floor button and as the door closes and shoots down, the elevator comes to a jolting halt. Then it shoots between the 4th and the 11th floors going 40 miles per hour, back and forth with no end in sight. I just knew it was the end, considering the conversation I had with mother last night. I cried in agony, put my crock pot down and sat in a corner crouched in a tiger hidden dragon, brace for impact position. Then the elevator stopped on the 9th floor, the doors opened and three Asians were staring at me like I was crazy.
  • Yesterday started the 90 Day Plan. What is the 90 Day plan exactly? Hmmph. Go through my file cabinet. You'd think by now I would have given it up. But at 28 years old, I still have not had sex on my birthday. Don't feel sorry for me! Hard work and diligence will pay off. Especially now that I know the secret. I didn't know the secret before.
  • I am so mad he came home when I was up getting ready for work. I came out of the bathroom he was in the bed...touching himself. #Asshole! Yeah, he was dealing with an issue. I didn't expect for him to share it with me, but don't be playing with your cat in front of me.
  • The inside of my man bag reflects the inside of a woman's purse. I have lip grease, Excedrin migraine, floss, my passport, an amex with someone elses name on it, ear phones, a flash drive, condoms, a few colgate wisp's, clear eyes, hand sanitizer, pens, a blackberry, craisins, dental dams, keys to the L.A., NYC and ATL locations...all these things! And I still find myself grappling with inadequacy! Too much for T.V.
  • BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH.
  • Yesterday's lunch did me in. I had a Cesar Salad, Garlic Pita bread and gumbo...ooooh and that fiber pill.
  • I had a nice chat with my mother last night. Her scales must have been balanced.
  • OOP. I need to call and have my procedure rescheduled till after the New Year.
  • I'm going rogue bitch! I'm going to hire an independent film crew and have them film me in HD. If Phaedra and her gay ass husband can do it, so can I. Matter of fact if these non-talented you YouTube stars have no clue. They could learn a lot from me.
  • What about me? What about what I need?
  • His toes looked like Vienna Snausages.
  • Was that his way of asking me if I was HIV+?
  • Did I tell you I had a box of oatmeal in my bag too?
  • In one hour, the office Holiday party will take place. Really low participation so far. I really hope I didn't spend my money in vain buying all these gourmet items for my famous Jambalaya. Ask about it. OOOP. Let me take my fiber pill now. :-/
  • I sound like an old man talking about a fiber pill.
  • This blatant homosexual just walked in, cut his eyes at me and kept it pushin'. He wants my dick up inside of that butt.
  • It's been a minute since I hit some ass. Veterans day...that active duty navyman. Or was it the Marines?
  • My boss is up to his old niggard ways. That muthafucka is just waiting on me to slip up.
  • I bought the office bagels on Friday and four different flavors of cream cheese. Tell me how mad I was when I opened up the refrigerator yesterday morning and the entire unopened receptacle of strawberry cream cheese was not present!! Bitch, I could taste the blueberry bagel in my mouth, with strawberry cream cheese plastered on it every where. Someone in this office is going to have bubble bowels for the next week for doing that shit. #WhitePeopleAreTreacherous
  • Is it okay to leave a persons phone number in your phone years after they died? What am I holding on to? I need to examine that.
  • I'm glad that I have solid friendships and people that understand me.
  • I'm really in love with Mott's Spiced Apple Cider! I can't find it anywhere but Amazon. I refuse to pay 20.00$ in shipping for a few packets of warm winter goodness. The whole box is 11.00, why and theeeeeeeeee fuck would I pay more in shipping, than what the product is worth?
  • Why did I miss my final on Friday?
  • Phaedra and her momma moaning together...
  • It's some funny business going on with my paycheck.
  • Damn I want to give him some head.
  • I had a fantastic time @BraveSoul74's event last night. I saw @Tim'm and it has been about 6 years since I've seen him and met a few new contacts!
  • He is so fuckin' hot, it makes no sense.
  • After I came up from the subway last night, I was surprised to see it was snowing. Some of it got on my mustache.
  • I think I want to help this other young man come to terms with his gayness, he keeps subtly propositioning me.
  • He low key shaded me. It's nothing personal.
  • Rahsaan Patterson's new song, "Easier Said than Done." Gave me my life back.
  • I'm still in love with "Rodney." He was a #Taurus too.
  • Did you guys read this post? This also gave me my life.
  • It's almost time to setup for this holiday party and I have to take a shit. #FiberPills I'll holler!

"Easier Said than Done" The New Single from Rahsaan Patterson


There are very FEW artists that exist today. They are a rare breed of species that only are spotted by their authenticity. Rahsaan Patterson has not only honed, maintained and sharpened his craft - but  he has taken it to stratospheric level that most dream about, especially while maintaining that pronounced individuality that made us like him in the first place.

His new single, "Easier Said than Done" is classic Rahsaan with a grounded futuristic twist. At the drop of the track, you’re easily taken back to your favorite childhood video game. Then you’re riding high on that trademark multi-layered percussion and BAM! He sucks you in.

“Easier Said than done” is a track that is multi-faceted as its predecessors. The track can easily fit into your Friday night soundtrack, your Saturday morning clean up or workout routine, your Sunday lounge day and the song that gets you through the hustle and bustle of the work week. It’s a fun, carefree vibe that makes you move. There is that magic touch from Rahsaan that evokes this subtle sexiness that makes you want to just groove to yourself and not give a shit who’s looking. It’s the current in mostly all of mid to up-tempo songs.

In this track he successfully combines a heavy bass line that you can feel move through your veins while incorporating sounds that most would find annoying – only because most people are ineffective at using them, Rahsaan’s usage is creatively aligned to perfection, while bringing a new spin to the “R&B” brand. “Easier Said than Done” is like the perfect glass of lemonade on a summer day; it’s refreshing, it’s soothing and its sustaining. His genius is the ability to tell a story lyrically, embellishing it vocally while musically taking you on a journey out of this galaxy at a rapid pace.

Rahsaan knows what he's good at and he maximizes it. As soon as you hear him open his mouth, there is no question about who it is singing. He's more than vocally consistent. He has successfully imprinted his sound that no one can ever duplicate. He doesn’t have to go through great lengths to prove his vocal ability – we know that, but he really shows that by simply “singing the song” without all of these vocal calisthenics and studio tricks.

“Easier Said than Done” marks the jump off point for the return of feel good music and the return of an authentically, creative artist we call Rahsaan Patterson.

Checkout "Easier Said than Done" it's also available on  I-Tunes

12.08.2010

Fighting For What's Right

I hate it when I am faced with a tough decision. Not that I'm not capable of making sound and logical decisions, I just hate it is because people have a hard time dealing with and accepting the truth.

I'm the office manager at my job. I'm 28 years old and I'm a black male. (Let the point of that sink in.) Every day my fight to be taken seriously gets harder and it doesn't help that I already have a carefree and laid back attitude. People not only misinterpret that as a sign of weakness but also a lack of interest for my job. My point is, if I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't have applied and I damn sure wouldn't get up in the morning to come in. If you didn't know, I'm not a morning person.

This all takes me back to March of this year, when I initially applied for this position. I had just moved to the area and while I was desperate to start working and setup my new life, I was faced with opposition. I had a panel interview, just like the ones I conduct when we're hiring a new person to come on board to the office. I knew that I had wowed and dazzled all 7 of the stiff fuckers, but I also knew that I didn't get the job. I didn't reduce it to me being black, I didn't reduce it to me being gay, hell, I didn't even reduce it to being plump (people do use these things against you). I didn't know why. But I did find out 4 months later, when the person with 20 years experience didn't work out at all.

Which brings me to one of my co-workers, "Larry Hoover". One of 5 black males in my office. He's another one that they don't take serious. He's the one I'm closest to in the office. A network position came up for grabs and he applied. There were a total of about 8 applicants, four internal and 4 external. I reviewed all the resumes and picked the ones with the best qualifications. Only one of the external candidates were solid and quite naturally all of the internal applicants were qualified. I'm cordial with all of them except for the one they were raving about. I hadn't really worked with him (he works in a remote location) and I didn't know much about him. I didn't hold it against him either. In fact I was excited that one of the Latin guys, Don Julio was applying he's really nice and I personally like him, just as much as I like Larry Hoover.

Yesterday the interviews went down for the internal applicants. All day practically, Don Julio sucked (and I feel bad because he's so nice), the guy that they were raving about, the 60 year old white man who I call Mr. Rogers, he sucked the most out of them all! You can't bullshit a bullshitter Mr. Rogers! "The King of Zamunda" this Nigerian guy was a solid choice (aren't they always?) and out of all the applicants, Larry Hoover interviewed the best out of them all. Not only was he articulate, he was knowledgeable, trainable, had the customer service background and hands down fit the mold of what exactly they were looking for. Hell, he surprised the hell out of me! And it takes a lot to move me. But of course, they wanted to go with their friend, Mr. Rogers who grossly lacked the network experience but excelled on the customer service side, with 10 years of experience. The first red flag, why after 10 years of being in one position are you just now trying to move up? It doesn't take that long to want to advance yourself in life. Let the bullshit begin.

I have a nice background in HR. I've done full cycle recruiting (sourcing, interviewing and hiring) I've done some employee relations stuff, the whole nine, so I know how to read people applying for jobs extremely well. Not only that, I've held a lot of positions, so it's easy to spot someone who's serious and who's not about having a job. This is what I do, tell people of who the best fit is for the position. Insert logical argumentative skills here.

I initially sat down with both heads of the department. I asked them what they were looking for. The really couldn't articulate it. So as I'm listening to them tell me what they are looking for, (while calling them inarticulate pricks in my head) I spit back, "So you're looking for a multi-tasker, self-driven, results oriented individual who prioritizes, understands and processes information who can also work within the chain of command". They were silent for about 30 seconds. Staring like a deer in headlights. Then they respond, "Wow you're good." I wanted to tell them try having sex with me, but the last thing I need is a suit for sexually harassing an old white man. Still to this day, it baffles me that people aren't use to interacting with a person with intelligence. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

When I'm right, I'm right and I know it. I possess an intense passion that I'm sure comes off as aggression. But I see whats getting ready to happen. They think they have problems now, they should have learned when they hired the woman that was in my position before me. She 20 years of experience but the bitch fucked up so much shit, I spent my first 90 days, which was only a month ago, cleaning up her mess that she created over a four month period, go figure! I can't just let this slide by me and allow them to fuck up the office dynamic and work load because it's their friend. Their mistake could have a devastating snowball effect. So now I'm faced with the choice of fighting for whats right, which can be a tricky thing in corporate America the government system or just sit back and teach them a lesson and revel in the fact that "I told them so". Either way it goes, I'll still have to do some clean up. But do I want to clean up my mess or theirs? Seeing that I was hired to come in and clean up someone else's mess, we already know how these cards are going to fall.

The hardest, but the easiest pill to swallow is that at the end of the day, in their eyes I'm still an over-paid, glamorized receptionist. But we all know that receptionist is really the one who runs the show, let that bitch that answers the phone (even though I don't) call out and see what happens.

People can say and think whatever they want about you. But as long as you know who you are and you're getting paid well enough to do what the fuck you wanna do, play that game and live your life while doing what you can when you can. Part of being responsible is playing the game and shutting the fuck up, even if it's a hard thing to do.

But I'm getting ready to write and send the memo that states: Hi my name is Trent Jackson! I excel at everything I do, I get what I want and I always win. Nice to make your acquaintance.

12.07.2010

I'm So Famous...

  • Nothing like waking up to a plump booty staring you in the face and "Monster" by Kanye West playing in the background.
  • I've always wanted to walk up to a dude and say, "Gimme some of that butt." Imma have to try that shit, to a salacious looking bottom I spot on the train...#NastyHoe
  • I'm looking forward to the snow flurries...they have already started...lite
  • Sunday (my spazz day) was, what would have been my Grandmother's 84th b.day. I woke up and made Jell-o. The green kind. The kind she used to make me when I was a kid. She was a nice woman until she was crossed. I'll never understand why she stayed with my Grandfather. That man was vicious. The things he did to her and her children...no wonder my mom and her siblings are far left...
  • I do this to myself every time I write a book. The last two times were no different.
  • Someone will get it one day and I'll be able to experience.
  • I really hate when I get lied to from people who like my work. If you're going to lie and tell me you're reading my book, please get the title straight.
  • Someone told me that they appreciated seeing me in love...my last ex. Yeah, I did love that guy...for all of the wrong reasons. My insecurities aren't his fault. But it was beautiful comment nonetheless. It reminded me that I'm capable of being in love. I forgot how to do that.
  • The 35+ FedEx man who smells like fresh, masculine, testosterone is becoming more appealing by the second with his fine, full-bearded grown ass.
  • I'd prefer someone to teach me a few things. I've been giving lessons for years...
  • I was thinking about all that I've been through. Specifically when I literally lost my mind, the summer of 2008. I can't wait for you to read about it...I was not taking prescription meds to alter my moods. Bitch give me a blunt and a Rahsaan Patterson CD.
  • There is no such thing as ADD/ADHD All you gotta do is spend time with your children and show them some affection & attention #ProblemSolved
  • WOAWOAWOAWOAWOA the ring didn't mean a thing!
  • Doesn't Susan Boyle look like she's borderline Down's Syndrome?
  • I need to meet Aunt Bunny. OOOOOOOH YEAH!
  • #Taurus and I are actually getting closer by the day. He's starting to eat the food I make. Before he didn't take shit when I offered it. Now he's helping himself...
  • You know, I knew he was cool when I first met him. But I was thrown off by his extreme moodiness. I've never met anyone more moody than me. That's saying a whole lot. :-/
  • At the subliminal suggestion of Laz Alonso I made Fruit Loop Treats...you know the alternative to Rice Crispy treats. I can't wait to give them to some 8 year old to see them get a sugar rush...I've been jacked up all night. He was talking about them, I had to make them.
  • I really need to get my diet back in order...
  • I don't understand why the fuck T-Mobile made me go to some website other than theirs, to download some fuckin' silly ass update for my phone. Isn't this high tech piece of shit supposed to have automation for shit like this? No one has time for this crap!
  • I can't wait to see Livingston tonight
  • Sometimes, it's best that your "old friends" stay exactly where they are, on pause.
  • For the life of me I'll never understand why I sit and wait until the last minute to do everything. I had a final due at 5:40 P.M. yesterday. I started on it at 3:45 at work, I get off at 4:30. 
  • I work in a field with primarily men. There are only 4 women in my office out of 50 people. I have interviews this morning and I really hope none of them are homosexual. I don't have time to be flirted with and to be sprinkled with glitter. Besides, you ain't givin' up no ass anyway.
  • I told them if they didn't give me my money, I was going to bring my 200+ pound ass down there and skrip naked until they ran me my money!
  • "I'm so famous, I took any half you had and made it whole."
  • #Taurus actually helped me do my laundry...
  • When people try and plot your downfall, they eventually give up once they see that you're untouchable.
  • It took me a long time to get that memo that everyone isn't against me. But I can know spot when they are.

12.02.2010

Kiss of Life

  • That dinner at the Cheesecake Factory last night was everything. It's always good to see friends from L.A. on the east coast.
  • I love an unexpected phone call from a boy...(fag)
  • I work with an amazing group of people. Except for my boss. He's still a niggerasshole. You can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you sure can learn a few things from them.
  • If I get one more call from my attorney in Los Angeles about receiving certified mail to her office from the Los Angeles Superior court...reschedule that court date until after I return from Europe. I'm tired of paying people just because. If y'all only knew the half. If muthafuckas know or think you have it, they will come up with a reason to get in on it to.
  • My sisters father is suing me...again. I raise his daughter and this is the thanks I get? Meanwhile he can have porn on her computer and give her an STD, (yes you read right *PAUSE* LET IT MARINATE) but I can get sued? You lie in court and keep me entangled in a 5 year court battle. Girl, please die already. I can't wait for the day where I can legally talk about his pedophilia issues.
  • I had theeeeeeeeeee best date Tuesday night. OMG. I've never met anyone this fascinatingly interesting in my whole entire life. And he asked me out, when I was wearing sweats...
  • After my Dr's visit yesterday, I'm a little bit softer. They scheduled my procedure in a couple of weeks. My manger will be there to drive me. She and my attorney are the only two people I have in the city. I'm not a fan of anesthesia. I bet he'll come if I ask him. I can already tell he's a great guy.
  • I only plan on telling one person in my family what is going on with me, my uncle. No one else can handle the stress. Besides, it will stress me out more with all of the questions and explaining. I've always wondered what I would do if I was faced with a health crisis. Now I know. 
  • Usher & Trey Songs on the 17th, Prince & Lalah Hathaway on the 18th.
  • He invited me to his house on Saturday. I mean he's the coolest fuckin' guy on the planet. He's cultured. He has a passport. He speaks 5 different languages, he's very down to earth and humble. I haven't felt this way in a long time. And he has the softest hands, the nicest smile and dresses amazingly well.
  • Funny how life can change and turn around in a matter of days. Just a few days ago I hated the world. This is a for sure sign that my numb affect is coming to an end. It's really not that serious. But it is.
  • I'm appreciative of all the support and comments people have about my work. It truly does push me to keep doing what I do.
  • Can a nigga get out of this tax bracket tho? Like, for real. I need a write off or a few quick.
  • I love Ciabatta bread.
  • I deserve to be treated nice.
  • "Don't make me wait too long, just play my favorite song...I'll get my Vanity 6 on."
  • I finally know the difference between what kind of guys I like and the kind of guys I want to fuck. There is a huge difference.
  • I also am confident in what type of people I want and need to be friends with. 
  • Light skin, dark skin, my Asian persuastion. I got them all, that's why yall girls out here hatin', cause I'm sexy.
  • Luther Vandross. He's one of my favorite classic R&B artists. There is nothing like him.
  • This muthafuckin surgery better be covered by my insurance.
  • Where the fuck is that damn check? THE FUCK!!
  • Awww. He is so fuckin' dope. Like. OMG. I can't wait to see him tonight. He has a passport. I think I want to ask him on a date...to Amsterdam.
  • I'm not talking about him anymore after this I swear. His conversation is soothing. His touch is gentle. His smile is radiant. His look is comfortably piercing. I don't wanna fuck. I just wanna be around him.
  • Meanwhile, this 20 year old football playing, thick neck, cockdiesel lookin nigga was talking to me after class the other night, telling me all about his dick and the places it's been. I knew he had a big dick when I met him. I know a good fuck when I see one. He will not upstage my pending love affair with "Livingston". But we are Facebook friends. It's 2010, that means something.
  • Semester is almost over. My Law Professor decided to give me a take home final a week early.
  • I learned nothing all semester. I have a feeling next semester won't be this easy.
  • I told my mother that I was having health problems. She did exactly what I knew she was going to do. Sit there and ignore it. Shouldna told that bitch shit. She don't give a fuck. I should have kept it to my uncle only. He's the only one in my family that possesses an emotional compass.
  • Not to be scary. But I need to write a living trust. If something did happen while I'm under anesthesia, who would I want to have my money? I would be the bitch to donate that shit to charity after my estate is settled. I don't want them having access to that much money. Oh! My uncle. #DUH
  • I want to see Whitney Houston on tour in my lifetime. YouTube videos and recordings aren't enough. I gotta see her sweat a wig out from at least row 5.
  • Did I ever tell anyone I'm not excited about this Janet tour in 2011?
  • I'm officially over fuckin' without a purpose. I'm too old to be dickin' these niggas down the way I do. Besides, good sex is draining.
  • "Cute" boys are the devil.
  • My mother always told me to curse out and beat up anyone who offered me drugs. I almost got into a fight last night.
  • Why is that (even when you don't announce it) when you make a conscious effort to stop doing something (smoke weed) it comes out of no where in abundance?
  • It's official. I think every last one of them are the scum of the earth. Yes, that is a good name for those kids. The Three Stooges.
  • I so want to wear my sweats tonight. Them thangs need to be WARSHED. You hear me? WARSH!
  • I'm still debating if I am going to hand my old college friend his ass via Facebook or totally ignore his friend request. He totally snubbed me when I moved here, flat out lied to me and my feelings were hurt. Now he wants to be friends on facebook? Nigga please. We're not on that level anymore!
  • Why is it that people take your good nature for granted? 
  • I'm a good friend - loyal to a fault. 
  • I have never liked Alicia Keys.
  • Why do people stand and linger, when you're clearly not interested or done speaking with them?
  • I want Cheesecake Factory again today.
  • ooooooooh, my friend who's an actor, who I went to dinner last night. I've been dying to see him get recognized in front of me. He always tells me these annoying stories about how people respond to him in public. In my mind I didn't think it could be that bad. I guess it would get annoying after a while. Do I really want to be famous?
  • I ran into an old associate last night in Cheesecake Factory. I never understood why people pretend to like you when they haven't seen you in a long time, knowing damn the fuck well they never cared for you. I like to say hi and keep it pushing. No need for anything extra.
  • I could be a little more forgiving, but I'm good on that. I've been disrespected long enough.
  • John?! You been smokin? Mmmhmm. I know a weed smoker when I see one! Game recognize game nigga! Give me the green light another again.