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12.25.2010

Confessions of a Bitter Black Bitch on Christmas

  • One thing is for sure, I made this bed so I have to lay in it.
  • I wanted to be alone on Christmas. In retrospect, I really didn't want that. I just didn't want to fly to L.A. at the price of $700 and end up in my room avoiding my family cause they keep up too much shit. Honestly, they annoy me - and I don't really think they get me. I never really felt like I fit in with them anyway. I think they're full of shit and two-faced as hell.
  • The truth of the matter is that I really don't like my family, with the exception of maybe three people.
  • Every adult in my life has failed me on some level.
  • It takes a minute to get over childhood trauma. I'm almost there. 
  • It's okay for me to send money and gifts, but I get nothing in return. Not that I asked for anything (thanks to my mother for making me too independent) - but you'd be surprised at how quick people will tell you what you they want, knowing damn well they can't afford to give you shit...and don't intend on giving you shit.
  • A few weeks ago on twitter, I said  
      
    "I'd rather be lonely than to wake up one day and have a bunch of fake ass bitches with motive around me...I lived that life before." Funny thing is I still kind of live that life. I can't stand a leach. 
  • When you're honest and live authentically, you live a lonely existence.
  • I don't like nor do I trust anyone, anymore...well that isn't completely true. I can't throw everyone under the bus. That really isn't fair. People who understand me know what I'm talking about.
  • this can't be karma for something I've done - people are just vicious, treacherous, vampires. They come and they suck the life out of you.
  • I say the shit you wish you had enough balls to say out loud.
  • Please don't call my phone after you read this, I really don't have anything to talk about. 
  • I hate text messages as well. They are impersonal, ineffective and they cause too much shit. I'm old school. I grew up pre myspace, faccebook, cell phones, computers, texting...blah, blah, blah.
  • Sobriety reminds you that you still have unresolved issues. I like it. But in 7 days I'll be high again. I just had to do a brief check in.
  • Watching celebrity rehab, made me check a few of my issues. I think I actually want to consult Dr. Drew. There is always room for improvement.
  • I'm not having children.
  • His gesture was nice, but I still think he's a user. Used me to write his shit and now he can barely speak. Mmmmhmm. That's a faggot for you. Yup I said it.
  • I treat people with dignity and respect. People lack reciprocation and they also lack the understanding of universal law. They always call me when they need something or want to vent. If I call just to say "Hi, I was thinking about you," I get voicemail. Mmmmhmm. 
  • I'm about to be real unavailable. 
  • I think I'll call T-Mobile and cut my phone off today. I could use that $100 a month to stack towards a vacation to the islands. Thanks to my uncle for that passport investment and making travel possible. 
  • I'm totally uninterested. Can't you tell?
  • J.Lo had hits tho.
  • I have a strong disdain for homosexuals....I'm not gay so stop looking at me like that.
  • I'm so tired of being nice.
  • You know, I've never been really happy on my birthday. Well, last year was the closest. Yes. Last years was good. For the first time ever I didn't have to come out of pocket for shit. That actually felt nice.
  • Maybe I should just power my phone off for a week. I forgot I have new prospects.
  • 2011 is the year that I unleash the bitch that I've kept suppressed in my scrotum my entire childhood. Don't start no shit won't be none.
  • Fuck the family! The family doesn't do a got damn thing but drive you insane, make you use drugs and eat out of order, because they never got over what their parents did to them. The cycle is vicious!!
  • Merry Christmas...
  • One night I was drunk and this fag that was spreading lies about me was spotted at the bar. I broke a Heineken bottle over his head and walked out. I say all of that to say, I found the shirt I had on with the blood on it. Monica Lewinski on that ass...Yeah I did it.  Say Somethin!!!!!!
  • Oh...my man period is coming. This has to be why I'm acting like this. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
  • *Drops The Mic*

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